


Across the Universe With You

by AerithGains23



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Adulthood, Alternate Universe - Historical, College, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Healing, High School, Historical Inaccuracy, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2020-10-25 06:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 165,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20719814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerithGains23/pseuds/AerithGains23
Summary: Story starts in 1940 in Naboo which is a town in Indiana. Rey moves to Naboo from a city just outside London called Jakku. Rey meets new friends in Naboo and starts a new life. Unkar Plutt is Rey's foster father who intends to use Rey to his advantage. Rey longs to escape Plutt's abuse and seek out her real parents. War is erupting in Europe and Rey fears it will come to her new home front fast. However, Rey's life will forever change when she meets a boy named Ben Solo. The story will focus on Ben and Rey and their story as their lives progress from high school students to adults to adulthood.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all the Reylos. WARNING: This is my very first fanfic I have ever written. I'm new to ALL of this and so I ask you to show me kindness and mercy if I make mistakes. I'm more than open to feedback and constructive criticism. I'm writing this story because I love REYLO. This is a love story and I ask that you be patient with my characters. Sloooow Burn. As a courtesy reminder there will be mentions of verbal and physical abuse, so please if it makes you uncomfortable skip the abuse parts. I will put warnings throughout the chapters. There will be no explicit or graphic abuse. The story progresses towards healing and finding comfort in those around the characters. I'm not the best writer. But, I'm writing this mostly for myself and I hope you can enjoy what makes me happy. Kudos!

September 1940

It was Rey Plutt’s first day of school at Jedi High School and she was already running late. She would have left early if it weren’t for Unkar Plutt demanding that she help jump start his old 1933 Ford V8 pickup that had broken down earlier that morning. Mr. Plutt was Rey’s foster caretaker as Rey put it. She refused to call him foster father for he was no father like figure at all. He was in fact the quite opposite. They had recently moved from Jakku, a city just outside London to Naboo, Indiana.

  
The school bell rang at 8’oclock at Jedi High and Rey was rushing in the school hall covered in grease and sweat. Her shoes were worn down, had holes in them and were greasy. But, they were her trusty pair of shoes that never failed her. Her tan dress was worn down as well and was a second-hand that was given to her. She always made sure to sew up the holes and place patches where needed. It was her favorite dress and one of the very few pieces of clothing she owned. Her stockings were covered in grease and her hair was falling out of its usually carefully styled three buns. As she approached the door to her fist class, she prayed to God that the class had not started yet. However, she was never lucky in life and in this instance as well. As she opened the door, all eyes turned to her including the teacher who was making announcements.

Rey mentally cursed herself and Unkar Plutt for making her late. The elderly man turned to Rey and stopped speaking to the class.

“Well hello young lady. My name is Mr. San Tekka, what is your name?” The old teacher had to be in his late 60’s. He wore a casually styled plaid suit that had a funny looking bow tie around his neck.

  
“My name is Rey, Rey Plutt sir.”

A couple of sneers and chuckles erupted throughout the room and Rey was embarrassed by the confession of her “given” last name. Plutt was not a traditional last name even in Jakku and she often got teased because of it. They used to call her “Plutty” or “Plutt faced” in school. She mentally cursed herself again for blurting out her last name.

“Well Ms. Plutt, you are late on your first day of History class and tardiness is normally unacceptable. Since it’s the first day, I’ll let it slide. But don’t be late again. Now go ahead and find a seat so I can continue.”

  
“Thank you sir,” Rey replied meekly.

She turned towards the rows of wooden desks and looked for an empty seat. The seats were all full of course and everyone was starring at her like she was some sort of spectacle. She figured she was since she was probably covered in sweat and grease. As she looked for a seat, she felt all eyes on her. They stared at her dress, at her shoes and she was sure she heard a few sneers.

As she approached the back, she spotted an empty seat next to a girl with dark hair and flippy curls. While heading towards the empty seat, she bumped into a desk and knocked over a few books.

The whole class chuckled and Rey bent down in a hurried mess to pick up the books. When she set them down back on the student’s desk, she made eye contact with a boy. She would have called him a man rather than a boy. He was very big, his legs barley fit under the desk. He had deep brownish dark eyes that were intense. His hair was longer then was normal for the current fashion and he wore a scowl on his face. He looked offended and Rey quickly apologized before rushing to the empty seat.

  
As the class proceeded it came time for group discussions. During lecture, Mr. Tekka mentioned that it was important to understand history in all aspects. In order to understand history, we must understand the history of others.

And so, he ordered everyone in the room to turn to their neighbor on the right and gather some historical information about the student next to them. The room immediately erupted in chatter and the history questions began about the students in the room. Rey mentally sighed, she hated talking about her history……. .

“I’m Rose! Rose Tico.” The girl with the dark flippy curls next to her turned and Rey could not help the contagious smile that started to form on her greasy face.

“Rey.” She turned more towards Rose and shook her hand.

“So, Rey where are you from? You have an unique accent. Are you from Europe?”

  
A slight blush rose on Rey’s cheeks. On her journey from Jakku to the U.S. she had not thought about her accent and how it would make her stick out in school. She was born and raised in Jakku, a small desolate city just outside of London. It was there that she was taken into care by Unkar Plutt.

  
“Oh, my accent. I’m from Jakku, it’s this small city outside of London.”

“Wow, you’re from England!” Rose gushed.

“Yeah,” Rey shrugged like it was no big deal. In reality, it really wasn’t a big deal. It was just another place she couldn’t run from Plutt. Unkar Plutt was going to drag her across the globe by the time he stopped getting into trouble and the law caught up with him.

  
“What was your life like in Jakku, Rey?”

  
Rey mentally sighed again. She did not wish to have this conversation with a complete stranger, let alone in a class room full of senior high school students she's never known.

  
“Why don’t we start with you first Rose? Where are you from?”

  
Rose’s chirpy and contagious smiled returned as she started on her life’s history.

“Well, my family is from Japan, but they moved here before me and my sister were born. My father works at the local medical clinic. He was a Doctor in Japan, but he can’t really practice here. My mother stays at home and my sister just graduated high school. I’ve lived here in Naboo my whole life.”

  
Rey genuinely smiled. She liked Rose. And just from the first few sentences that escaped her mouth, she could tell that Rose would make a nice companion.

Rose continued to gush on about her life and Rey methodically kept asking her more questions to keep her talking about herself instead of her. The class finally dismissed and Rey was grateful she conquered the entire class discussion without having to address her history.

The next class was literature and as Rey and Rose walked the hallways, she felt more eyes on her.

“Don’t worry, they do that to all the new kids in Town.” Rose noted.

As they entered the class for literature, Rey’s eyes snagged the large boy’s eyes from earlier. When their eyes met, the boy quickly looked away and started speaking to the guy next to him. As they sat down, Rey blurted the next few words without even thinking.

“Who is that guy?”

She gestured towards the large boy sitting in the too small desk.  
Rose chuckled as she sat down.

“That’s Ben. Ben Solo.”

  
END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Rey's second day at Jedi High and she's meeting new people. Rose has proven to be a good companion and she hopes to enjoy her new life in Naboo. However, Rey soon discovers how she may be perceived in Naboo and what others really think of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter features abuse towards the end. If you don't want to read it, cut out when the conversation between Rey and Plutt first starts towards the end of the chapter. As mentioned before there will NOT be explicit or graphic abuse. However, I want to be sensitive to those who are uncomfortable with it. Please give feedback and if I need to correct any mistakes. Thanks!

Chapter 2

It was the second day of school for Rey at Jedi High and she found herself actually excited to go to school. Lunch time had arrived quickly and Rey had decided to eat with Rose in the lunch-room. Rey quickly noted that Rose did not have many friends. Although Rose was friendly and everyone knew her, Rose mostly kept to herself.

As the girls sat down to eat, they heard a commotion a few tables down. There was a group of guys all cheering and surrounding a table where two students were engaging in some sort of board game. They were starting to cause a scene and Rey rolled her eyes at the commotion before her. She had seen that board game before. It was called Battleship and she had never played it before. The two opponents looked intense in their game. One student had bright red hair and pale skin. The other student sitting across from him had curly dark hair and a handsome face. The two opponents looked so serious that Rey would have thought it was a real battle. Her and Rose both listened in to the warship battle that was occurring next to them.

“Your fleet is scum, there will be no terms, no surrender,” the red head replied to his opponent smugly.

  
“Oh, I’m sorry what were you saying? I was too busy holding for the great and mighty “General” Hux to make his move,” the boy with the handsome face replied.

  
“You and your battleships are doomed, I’ll wipe your filth from the galaxy,” the red head replied with more venom as he pondered what move to make next. Rey could tell he was bluffing as he picked up the stick pieces multiple times deciding where to place his ships next.

  
“Oook I’ll hold. You just let me know when you’re ready to make your next move.” The boy with the handsome face continued to grin like a chesire cat and twisted the game pieces in his hand as he waited for the red head to make a move.

  
“C’mon ‘Hugs’ make you move.”

  
“I can hear you!” the red head replied vehemently.

  
“Hugs” finally made a move.

  
The handsome boy finally chuckled and leaned into the table towards his opponent. “Permission to jump in a battleship and blow something up.”

  
The red head sighed defeatedly, “Permission granted.”

  
And just like that the handsome boy made one move and sunk all of “Hug’s” ships. The crowd of students all cheered at the handsome boy’s victory and he wore their cheers like a victor wears a crown.

  
Rey rolled her eyes and turned towards Rose who was gushing and laughing.

  
“He’s kind of cute isn’t he!” Rose replied.

  
Before Rey could respond, she noticed that the handsome boy was approaching their table.  
“Hello there, I’m Poe, Poe Dameron.” The young man stuck out his hand for Rey to shake and she shook it timidly.

  
“I don’t believe we’ve met before. You’re new here right, the Brit girl.”

  
Rey would have been offended if not for the glowing smile on the boy’s face.

  
“Yes,” Rey replied. “That would be me.”

  
“Well it’s nice to have you here with us in Naboo. What brought you here from England?”

  
Rey instantly froze. She knew this question would pop up eventually. She just hadn’t expected it in a lunch-room full of onlookers.

  
“C’mon Poe, you can flirt with the new foreign girl later. We have to catch our next class.” A deep voice sounded from behind her and it almost made her jump. She had never heard a voice so deep in her life, especially from a high school boy. As she turned, she noted the voice was from “long legs” or as Rose had said “Ben Solo.” He wore a scowl on his face and she could have sworn he said the word “foreigner” with a mocking edge to his voice.

  
“Alright, alright, let’s go. Well, it was nice meeting you Rey. I hope we can get to know each other and hang out more often.” Poe smiled charmingly and made his way out the lunch room with “long legs” following behind him.

***

Later that day Rey was walking home from school when she passed by a diner where some of the high school kids were hanging around and dancing to a jukebox. The sign on top of the diner read, “Maz’s Castle.” She was about to turn a corner by the diner when she heard two voices talking and she heard the name “Rey” slip out of their mouths.

  
“I like her, she seems sweet.” Poe Dameron replied to his companion who he was sharing a soda pop while leaning on the corner of the diner.

  
“Sweet? More like greasy. She looks like a scavenger that the wind blew in.”

  
Rey instantly recognized that deep voice. It was the boy called “Ben Solo.” And he had called her a scavenger.

  
“Oh c’mon, don’t be so judgmental Benji. She looks like she could use some friends and I’m sure she would enjoy hanging out with us.”

  
“I don’t have time for a sob story and some poor girl/nobody who looks like she got drugged off the street,” Ben replied with a sneer.

  
Rey decided she was done listening and decided to dart in the other direction to head home. Tears were starting to form in her eyes as she realized how everyone must be perceiving her here in Naboo. The funny thing was, all of their perceptions were probably true. She was a scavenger and a darn good one. She was a nobody and she knew that. She only had one more year till she was 18 and she could legally escape Plutt. Then, maybe she could be more then just a nobody.

As Rey came home, she noted that Plutt was in one of his moods. He was pacing and cursing to himself. When Rey met his eyes, she knew it was going to be a bad evening.

  
“So,” Plutt began slowly. “I got you a job at Nima Outpost. It’s this old car factory where you’ll be scavenging for scraps. You’ll start tomorrow when you get out of school.”

  
“I thought we agreed that I wouldn’t work while I was in school.” Rey instantly regretted the words that flew out of her mouth as a chair came crashing next to her.

  
“Girl!” Plutt roared. “Do you like having a place to sleep and food to eat! So help me if you open your mouth against me one more time I’ll lock you in a closet for the next three days!”

  
This wasn’t new for Rey. They had been down this road before. Rey had worked her entire high school life. The agreement when they came to Naboo was that if Rey worked straight throughout the summer, which she did, she would be allowed to finish her senior year without working. However, it would appear Plutt’s shenanigans and gambling problems would put Rey in a position to work.

  
“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been locked in a closet. Why don’t you take responsibility for your actions and act like an adult. You made a mess, now you clean it. We had a deal, a bargain. Isn’t that what you’re good at, bargaining!”

  
Rey knew it was coming. She expected it. In fact, she embraced it and felt that it somehow made her stronger. However, she hadn’t expected the blow to hit her so hard that she flew to floor and was out like a light.

  
END OF CHAPTER 2


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey starts her new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter there may be some themes related to abuse and so I would like to give out a courtesy warning. As a side note I would like to thank another user who helped me to understanding the tags. I'm new to this site and to writing fiction in general. I made a mistake on the tags without realizing it and another user was generous to help me out. I'm a rookie so if anyone else notes any mistakes made please feel free to comment and let me know. Also the chapters are not very long. I may make them longer as I go so be patient with me. Thanks guys!

CHAPTER 3

Rey did not attend school for the rest of the week. She missed the last two days. She could not allow herself to be out in public, not after the purple shiner that was bright under her left eye.

She remembers the moment she had woken up from the floor. She wasn’t sure how long she was out cold, but she knew that her head ached all over the place. She quietly went to her room and pulled out her old notebook.

She opened the old book to the same old spot where there was an array of tally marks. She added another tally mark to the collection. Another tally mark to mark the days until she was free from Plutt and could go off to find her parents. They had to be out there somewhere and each tally mark was another day added on until she could return to her parents. She eventually fell asleep with the notebook clutched to her chest.

The next day Rey started her new job at Nima Outpost. Surprisingly, she liked the job because she was able to do what she did best, scavenge. She picked apart motors, engines and radiators of all sorts. The grease on her hands felt like heaven and she treated each piece of scavenged mess like a treasure.

After work, she decided to go to the market to grab a soda pop to drink. Her favorite soda pop was Dr Pepper and she could almost taste the soda fizz in her mouth.

As she was walked in to the market, she noticed people starring at her. She was covered in grease, had ragged clothes and had a nice healing purple shiner to go with it. If there was a check list for poor orphan girl, she probably fit all the criteria.

As she passed a mirror, she concluded that her shiner would not be healed by this coming Monday for school. She stepped into the makeup section and decided it was best to get some concealer for Monday.

Rey started her trek home and was walking down Chandrila street when she noted how nice the homes were. They were big, beautiful and made her wonder what it would be like to step inside one of them. 

She wasn’t really paying attention to where she was walking as she stared in awe at the beautiful neighborhood.

She was staring with her mouth slightly open at a big beautiful Victorian house when she turned a corner fast. She turned so fast without thinking and bumped into a person hard which sent her flying to the ground.

The concealer she purchased went flying out of the bag and she dropped everything. She heard a man’s voice curse under his breath and saw him kneel down to help her up. When their hands touched both of their heads flew up to each other. When Rey finally stood on her two feet, she realized she was standing across Ben Solo.

They both instantly froze. Shock and embarrassment clear on both of their faces.

Something strange happened to Ben Solo’s face. His face turned from shocked to hardened within seconds. His eyes narrowed as he took in Rey’s face and then noted the concealer that lay cracked on the ground. When his eyes met Rey’s again something like understanding dawned on him.

Instead of staying in this awkward staring match, Rey instantly pushed past Ben Solo and bent over to pick up her things. Ben slowly leaned down and picked up the concealer. She snatched the concealer from him and shoved it in her bag without making eye contact with him.

“I’m so-” Ben Solo started.

“Thanks.” Rey cut him off _bitterly_ before he could even finish his sentence.

She darted away from the scene as fast as she could, no longer wanting to be in the presence of Ben Solo.

END OF CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to school and meets new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes. P.S. I'm a rookie at this, please help a gal out if I make any mistakes with the tags or formatting. Thanks!

CHAPTER 4

Monday arrived quickly for Rey. She worked throughout the weekend and finished most of her homework in a timely manner.

She had never worn makeup in her entire life and so she woke up extra early to apply the concealer where needed. It took her a while, but she finally got the hang of it. The trick was getting it to match your skin tone.

As she stared in the mirror, she wondered if she was pretty enough. She never gave much thought to her appearance. It was a trivial thing to her. What mattered most in Rey’s book was having a place to sleep and food to eat. Even the clothes she wore depicted her survival character and instincts. There’s too many important things in life to worry about pretty dresses, pretty hair and pretty eyes. The boys she went to school with never looked twice at her. None of it ever mattered and it still didn’t to her. Survival is the most important deity in her book.

  
***

“Rey! We missed you! What happened?” Rose was waiting in the hall for her when she arrived to school. “You disappeared for two days.”

“Oh, I ugh, I...caught a bug. Nasty fever. There’s something in the air that’s different from here then Jakku.” Rey mentally sighed as she completely forgot to create a story for her absence.

Rose looked at her with a strange look, almost as if she didn’t believe her. However, She dropped the conversation and they continued to walk in companionable silence.

As they were approaching the doors to History class, Rey saw Ben Solo and Poe Dameron walking up to the doors at the same time. Rey immediately froze, she refused to make eye contact with Ben Solo. She could already feel the boy’s eyes on her and Rose.

Rey heard Poe open his mouth with a greeting and she immediately darted into the class room before he could finish. She heard Rose apologize and say hello back to the boys before entering the classroom.

“You ok?” Rose asked.

“Mhmm,” Rey nodded with a smile as they opened their textbooks and started lecture.

Sitting in front of her, Rey noticed a new face. The back of his head was to her and she could not help her curiosity to this new stranger. His clothes looked a bit worn down, though not as bad as Rey’s. He was wearing a plaid shirt, tucked into his high wasted pants. His hair was cut into a military style and he sat with an air of confidence. He had dark skin and was well built.

Rey bent down to whisper to Rose, “Who’s the new boy in front of us?”

Rose chuckled to herself, she found it funny that Rey was the new kid calling someone else the new kid.

Her friend bent down and met her with a glint in her eye, “That’s Finn. He’s actually been here for a while. But I haven’t really talked to him.” Rey could see that there was something hidden in Rose’s face when she replied.

Another group discussion erupted towards the end of class and Mr. Tekka assigned all the students into groups of three. The boy named Finn was assigned to the group discussion with Rey and Rose. The assignment was to discuss where each student was born and compare the geographical differences in location.

Rey described Jakku to the best of her ability without making it sound like the hell hole that it was. Rose described how she had been born in Naboo. And the boy named Finn, well he had an interesting story.

“I don’t really know where I was born actually,” Finn explained.

Normally, Finn would not open up about his origins. But, something about Rey and Rose made him unusually trustworthy than normal. Maybe it was the gentle smile that Rose gave or the wary eyes of Rey that flashed when he mentioned that he didn’t know where he was born.

“Me and my sister were picked off the street. We don’t really know what happened to our parents. All we know is that we were most likely from the South. So, my origins are from the South.” He wore a gentle smile on his face and Rey could not help the look of attachment on her face towards him.

“Your sister, does she go here?” Rose began.

“Naw, she’s older than me. She already graduated, she's getting into college. A bit rough but she’s making it work.”

“I see,” Rose replied.

The three of them continued to conversate and Rey was falling for Finn’s boyish charm every time he opened his mouth. He still sat with a military air to him and Rey could see how proper his posture was. She concluded she liked him and decided to make him a friend just like Rose.

After class discussion, the three of them decided to walk together to their next class.

“So, are you getting used to it here Rey? Must be better than Jakku.” Finn asked as they were walking the halls.

“Yes, I suppose I am. The air is much clearer here and the neighborhoods are beautiful here.” Rey thought of Chandrila street and how beautiful it was. She tried to block out the memory of Ben Solo there.

“Oh yes! Have you been down Chandrila street? It’s so beautiful!” Rose gushed.

Rey could not help but laugh, “Yes, that’s exactly the neighborhood I was referring to.”

“Only the rich people live there,” Rose nodded her head towards the group of boys walking far ahead of them. Among the group was Poe, Ben Solo and “General Hugs".

“Especially count Dracula over there,” Finn gestured his hands toward Ben Solo.

Both girls burst out laughing and could not contain their amusement.

“You could say that again,” Rey muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, when you come from big money and big family history, it somehow makes you better then everyone.” He replied with sarcasm.

Both girls looked over at Finn with questioning eyes.

“Do you know something we don’t?” Rose asked.

“Count Dracula’s family owns the whole Chandrila neighborhood.” Finn replied. “His momma is the mayor of Namboo.”

“A woman mayor!?” Rey and Rose both gushed at the same time.

“Yep, the first in the entire country to be recently elected as a female mayor.” He replied with a chuckle. “She’s one tough cookie from what I’ve heard. Doesn’t let anyone bring her down for being a woman.”

"I had no idea Leia Organa was elected, shows how much I pay attention to politics," Rose mused. 

The news certainly shocked Rey, but she was somehow interested in this female leader. Maybe one day she would be able to meet her or, maybe not.

The three of them finally approached the lunch room and they decided to eat together.

After school Rey, Rose and Finn decided they were going to study together for their group project.

“I have to get to work, but once I’m out maybe we could meet up somewhere to study?” Rey mentioned as they were walking home from school.

“Yes, I can’t concentrate on my own,” Rose sighed.

“Where do you guys want to meet?” Finn asked. “Some place in the middle of where we all live.”

“Well let’s see. I live on Hays Minor street, Finn you live on what street?” Rose asked.

“Cloud City.”

“And Rey, you live on?”

“Nima Street.”

“Okay! So, I got it!” Rose clapped her hands. “Well meet at Maz’s Castle. It’s this cool diner where they have exotic foods and delicacies. And it’s right smack in the middle of where we all live.”

“Are you sure we won’t get distracted there? Isn’t that where all the kids go after school?” Finn asked.

“Yes but, since we are meeting up later in the afternoon. There should be less kids there.” Rose responded with a knowing smirk.

“Alright, sounds like a plan. Rey are you in?”

“Yes, I can be there.” She replied with a smile.

  
***

While at work Rey was excited to meet Finn and Rose later. She felt like they were going to end up being her first two real friends. She tried to swallow down the fear of abandonment quickly as it came to chase her like a recurring nightmare does a child. But, she couldn’t help her attachment to Finn.

There was just something about him that Rey was drawn to. She couldn’t pin point it. But she could not help wanting to be in his presence. It felt familiar or like their stories were similar. They were two pages of the same book. Either way, she wanted to keep Rose and Finn close. Maybe if she hid the truth about her life from them, they wouldn’t throw her away.

  
***

“Wow this place is amazing,” Rey noted as they walked into Maz’s Castle.

“Yep, they got the best frog legs ever,” Finn replied with sarcasm.

“Ewww!” Both Rey and Rose remarked.

“What! They are tasty! But not really,” Finn replied while laughing.

“Welcome to Maz’s Castle! The only place in Naboo where you can order any type of food you can dream of!” A big voice roared from behind the diner counter.

Rey and Rose both jumped. Behind the counter was a huge hairy man. He had to be at least 6,5 and he was so hairy. Rey thought he was more animal than human covered with fur.

“Don’t scare the customers away you big hoof!” A small women’s voice erupted from behind the counter and greeted the trio.

“Awwww new children.” Maz Kanata straightened her glasses as she eyed Rey. The woman had tan wrinkly skin and was very very short.

“Ignore my husband, he scares everyone," Maz snorted at the human bear behind the counter.

Rey almost chocked on her own saliva. This tiny petite woman was married to that giant man!

“Names Charles, but you can call me Chewie.” The hairy man replied from behind the counter. “See this castle here, I built it for my wife. This restaurant is her domain and since I couldn’t get her a real castle, I made her this one.” The large man winked at the trio.

Rey and Rose both laughed as Maz rolled her eyes.

“He’s very theatrical as you can see," Maz replied.

“Ohhh don’t be so jaded sweetheart. You came after me remember. You didn’t stop chasing me until you had this big tug of love.”

Rey laughed again. She could see the love and adoration Chewie had for his wife and she could tell they were in love despite their physical differences.

“Alright, leave the kids alone and let them get to it. I’ll lower the jukebox so you guys can have more peace and quiet,” Maz commented.

Rey, Finn and Rose all sat down to study.

During their study session Rey did not notice that there was someone sitting in the far corner of the diner. It was Ben Solo and he was alone. He was reading a book and Rey couldn’t tell what book it was.

"_Probably a book about sleeping in coffins_," she muttered to herself.

Later in the evening, she saw Chewie approach the table where Ben Solo was sitting and hand him a slice of pie. She saw him look up at Chewie with a grateful nod and she could have sworn she saw the beginnings of a small smile on his face. Chewie padded him on the back and went about cleaning up the restaurant. Rey found the gesture endearing and she couldn’t help but wonder why a genuine man like Chewie would even touch a boy like Ben Solo.

“Rey? You ok?” Finn asked as he caught her staring at the corner.

“Yes, I’m fine. Where were we.” She cleared her throat as they continued.

END OF CHAPTER 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I’m still working on making the chapters longer, so I hope this one was a bit better. As for the Leia nod in this chapter, I found out that female mayors were not existent in the 1940’s in the U.S. The first one was in the 1960’s so I thought it would cool to add some layering to Leia’s tough persona. Also, I know this chapter sounds like Finn/Rey but I’m building up my characters from the ground up. Relationships in life don’t only involve romantic relationships. Rey and Ben are still the heart of the story but we haven’t gotten there yet. I’m building the characters first before we get there. ….evetually!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey get's left behind and has an interesting class discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter features abuse in the beginning. Please skip over if you do not want to read it. I promise this story won't have a lot of abuse. It's just part of the story for now but it will never be the main focus. Kudos!

Chapter 5

The next couple of weeks all fell nicely into place for Rey and her new companions. She, Finn and Rose became inseparable and they continued they’re weekly routine of meeting at Maz’s Castle.

Fall was approaching fast and Rey found that it was almost scarf weather. She loved scarf weather because she always had many wraps to put on. October had hit fast, and the weather was already starting to change.

Rey also enjoyed her job. She was able to scavenge to her heart’s content. She was mostly ignored at her job because she was a girl who worked in a place full of men. However, she was able to prove herself quite quickly which earned her a bit of respect amongst the other men. She even knew more parts than the other workers and helped pick apart motors. Her fingers were forever going to be stained with grease but she could care less.

Rey came home on a Sunday after work and found Plutt sitting in his chair counting cash. He had a glint in his eye and she immediately ran to her room. Before she got to the door, Plutt jumped up and blocked her entrance.

“Where do you think you’re going.” Plutt sauntered over her.

“To my room. I have work to do,” she added defiantly.

Plutt then opened his hand and put it in front of Rey’s face. “Hand it over, ALL of it. I need the cash.” His breath smelled like venom and she figured he was drunk. His gaze was boring into her face and she flinched when he smirked.

She reached into her bag and pulled out her earnings for the week. She handed it directly into Plutt’s hands and turned to open her room door.

“That’s a good girl,” he replied.

When Rey was about to walk through her door, Plutt had noticed that there was cash sticking out of her back pocket.

He instantly growled, “Arggh! You thief!” He pulled Rey by her arm back through the door.

“Let go of me!” She roared back.

“You were stealing from me huh? Thought you could keep extra money from your earnings away from me!” He increased his hold on her arm and it burned. She winced and refused to show Plutt how much he was hurting her.

“I need the money for food and school!” She was trying to break his grip but the more she struggled against him the more it hurt.

“Let go of me!” Rey cried out.

Plutt punched her in the chest and she fell to her knees.

“You think it’s fancy hiding money from me, I’ll show you!” He reached down to grab Rey again and she darted out of his grasp.

She ran through the door and almost made it into her room when Plutt grabbed her arm through door and slammed the door on her arm. He did this twice. Two times to be exact he slammed her arm on the door.

Finally, she got the upper hand and slammed his hand on the door in which he cried out in agony. He let go of Rey to tend to his other hand. She finally closed her door and put the lock immediately. Plutt decided not to pursue her any further and cried out in pain as he went searching for some ice.

Rey was shaking. Shaking so bad she was sure her teeth were rattling. Her left arm burned so bad, the pain was almost unbearable. As she looked down at her arm, she noted there were bruises from Plutt’s hold and red marks from the door slams. She crawled to her bed unable to walk and grabbed her notebook on the nightstand. She lay on her bed, crawled up into a ball refusing to let herself cry. Her right collar bone hurt so badly but she didn’t think it was broken.

It was in these moments that she found herself drifting. Drifting into a life that wasn’t her own. Drifting into a fairytale land where everything was perfect and she had the loving parents she always dreamed of. It was in this fairytale land that she would wonder if all families were perfect. OR, what if all families were flawed and she was deluding herself into thinking other people had perfect families. Anything outside of Plutt, Rey considered perfect. She fell asleep with her notebook clutched to her chest and these thoughts in her head before she could even add another tally mark.

When Rey awoke the next morning, she assessed herself in the mirror. So, one bruise on the right chest, check, bruises/marks on her left arm, check and last but not least dark circles under her eyes to complete her helpless look, check. The damage felt minimal but the appearance of it would not. She reached into her old chest and pulled out her old arm wraps. She hadn’t worn them in ages, but she knew better then to get rid of them. Especially for days like this.

She had wrapped her left arm in her wraps tightly. She decided a scarf would have to do for her collarbone. The scarf was old and ragged but it did the job. Overall, she hid everything pretty well she thought.

Rey was alone at school for the first half of the day. Finn, Rose and a couple of the other senior students had taken a day trip to the locale movie theater with Mr. Tekka to watch _Abe Lincoln in Illinois_ as part of their history assignment. The purpose of the assignment was to watch the film and then compare the facts to actual history.

Rey had wanted to go to the theater with the other students but could not afford the admission. To be fair, Mr. Tekka said he would hand out a written review of the movie to all the students who couldn’t go. Finn and Rose had both offered to pay for Rey’s ticket admission but she refused. She didn’t want them to take pity on her because she couldn’t afford it.

She was walking to her English class alone and the world felt so much smaller. Without Finn and Rose by her side, she felt people’s stares. Some people laughed at her and noted her ragged appearance. Already the stings of abandonment were filling her thoughts as she thought of Finn and Rose. “_Nothing good ever lasts_,” she thought to herself while trying to keep the tears at bay.

As Rey entered her English class, she noted all the students who didn’t get to attend the movie theater outing. To her surprise, she noted that Ben Solo was there sitting in the back without his companion Poe who was always with him. She thought it was strange.

“Can’t you afford everything, I’m sure your family could buy the entire theater if they wanted to,” Rey muttered to herself as she sat down and prepared for lecture.

“Alright class, today we will talk about literature and writing. I trust you all have been completing your reading assignments?” Mrs. Tano asked the class to which she received a few groans from the scant amount of students present.

“I know you all must be upset that you couldn’t go with the other students to the theater. And so, to be fair you’ll have group discussions instead of hearing me lecture.” More groans erupted throughout the class.

“Oh come now! Find your partner and get to it. You’ll be arranged with your partner based off the first letter of your last name.” Mrs. Tano commented in an almost angry tone. “Ungrateful children,” she thought aloud to herself.

Rey eventually realized that there were no students in the class whose last name started with a “Q”, the other student whose last name started with a “R” was at the movie theater, which left her to partner up with the student whose last name started with a “S”. The student with the last name Smith was currently not here which meant the next last name on the list next to Plutt was Solo.

She sighed heavily. She did not want to partner up with the “Count” and so she quickly asked Mrs. Tano if she could switch.

“Sorry sweetheart, rules are rules, now get over to Solo in the corner over there and start your discussion.” Mrs. Tano’s word was final and Rey cursed to herself.

She reluctantly and quietly approached Ben Solo’s desk. His eyes instantly flew up to meet hers and then darted to her chest. Rey fidgeted with her scarf.

“_He probably knows. He saw my shiner weeks ago. If there’s one person I’m not fooling here, it’s probably him_.” She thought all of this bitterly to herself as she sat down quietly across from Ben Solo.

Neither one of them spoke but Rey could feel Ben’s eyes on her. They kept flickering from her face to her left arm to her collarbone. This continued on for a long minute until she cleared her throat.

“So,…why aren’t you at the movie theater?” Rey blurted the sentence without even thinking. Probably wasn’t the brightest question to ask but she could already feel her nerves getting to her. They hadn’t been properly introduced yet but she could care less.

“I could ask you the same question,” he replied as he leaned in a bit closer. His voice scared her, it was so deep. She hadn’t actually had a conversation with Ben Solo face to face. She could see why people were intimidated by him. He was an intimidating boy for sure. His demeanor and body language spelled intimidation. The scowl on his face said more.

She decided she wasn’t going to let that get to her. In fact, she decided she was going to be more defiant if anything. If there was one thing she learned in life, it was to handle arrogant men.

“I didn’t want to go.” Rey replied to Ben’s statement with as much cordiality as she could muster.

“Well same here,” he replied almost as if he was mocking her.

She sighed and decided to move the conversation towards their class assignment.

“So, have you been reading the book?” 

“Already finished. ...And you?” Ben asked.

“I’ve only read the first few chapters…and I already hate the book.” Rey sighed reluctantly. In truth she wasn’t lying. She already hated _Pride and Prejudice_ and she hadn’t even finished it. Rose had told her it was one of the best stories of all time! She remembers Rose gushing to her about it. But for some reason she could not get over Mr. Darcy’s character. She thought he was an arrogant fool and stopped reading the book.

“That’s…a first. Most people like the book.” Ben had a slight look of shock on his face as he heard her opinion on the book. “You’re not going to finish it?” It was more of a statement than question.

“I, maybe because it’s part of the assignment," Rey replied.

“You might feel differently once you actually read the book," he responded with his gaze intense on her. She could not tell if his response was genuine or if he was mocking her for not finishing the book.

“I don’t think I would feel differently about the book by finishing it," she responded a little more harshly then intended. “Usually you can understand a story’s character and where they're going by the first few chapters of the book. What I’ve gained so far is that Mr. Darcy is a complete arrogant fool who thinks he’s too good for everyone.” Rey’s face was turning a bit red.

Ben chuckled to himself and leaned in a bit closer towards her, “Can I let you in on a little secret."

Her eyes widened.

"You’re exactly like Elizabeth in the story.”

“What?” She gasped.

“Yes,” he replied sure of himself. “You haven’t even finished the book yet and you’re already assuming the story will end badly because Mr. Darcy is a ‘terrible’ person. Haven’t you heard of not judging a book by its' cover? You can’t judge the story unless you’ve finished it.”

Rey was completely appalled by his response. She wasn’t sure if it was because that was the most words Ben Solo had ever spoken to her or if he had actually proven a point.

“Well, I don’t care how the story ends. Mr. Darcy is a jerk!” She heatedly responded not caring if she was wrong.

“You know, why don’t we finish this conversation once you’ve actually **done** the homework and read the book," he sarcastically replied. As if he was offended they she had judged Darcy without getting to know his character.

“I don’t need to finish anything with you!” Rey almost yelled.

“Is everything alright here?” Mrs. Tano approached their desks with a curious look in her eyes.

“Just…debating,” Ben replied while looking down.

“Excellent. Debate is a tool for understanding another’s thoughts.” Mrs. Tano nodded in approval and continued on observing the other students.

The slight break from Mrs. Tano’s interruption gave Rey a chance to cool off. She cleared her throat.

“I probably will finish the book. But not so we can debate it. I’m finishing it for myself and the assignment.” She looked Ben Solo straight in the face with the most defiant look she could muster.

“I expected no less," he murmured quietly.

“If my opinion changes...I’ll let you know.” Rey dragged out the words almost as if they had a double meaning. Ben eyes found her’s and something flashed across his face.

“Yeah, just let me know.” His face turned intense, almost as if he was looking past Rey and reading more into what she was saying. Change your opinion on what exactly, the book or me, he wanted to ask. But he was afraid of the answer.

“Alright class, you’re being dismissed early for lunch. Gather your things and head out to the lunch room," Mrs. Tano announced.

And just like that English class was over.

***

For some reason for the rest of the day, Rey could not stop thinking about that stupid book. All she kept thinking of was _Pride and Prejudice_ and how much she wanted to either burn the book or read it.

When she got home, she slumped on her bed and started reading the book again. “I’m doing this for myself,” she thought aloud as she opened the book and did not put it down the rest of the night.

END CHAPTER 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abe Lincoln in Illinois was a real movie in the 1940's about President Lincoln just as a side note. This chapter was very hard for me to write because it was the first Rey/Ben interaction. Hope I did ok, thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An addition to the trio is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is a historical au in 1940's Indiana I decided to sprinkle some elements of prejudice that was current back in those times towards different populations of people. Being prejudice extended into social class and color. Times were different back then and I wanted to add some realism to the story. If it makes you uncomfortable, it won't be heavy in this story, very light. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 6

A week and a half later since her conversation with Ben Solo, Rey found herself sitting on her bed reading the last chapter of the novel Pride and Prejudice. She closed the book after reading the last page and stared blankly into space. She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but Rey’s eyes were watery. A million thoughts and questions were running and jumping through her head.

How? How can a character change so much by the end of a book? Rey’s thoughts were circulating on the novel’s conclusion. Does this sort of stuff happen in real life? Do people really change because of love?

These concepts were all foreign to her. She admitted to herself that she had no idea what love was. She had never ever felt affection or love from anyone or anything in her life. Rey loved her parents, but she never knew them. Never felt a gentle hand hold, never felt a mother or father’s kiss and never had been held in her entire life. The more she thought about it, she concluded that she herself would change just to receive her parent’s love. She would change anything about herself just to be loved by her parents.

The happy ending for Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth felt foreign to her. She didn’t know happy endings, happy endings only happened in fairy tales.

Rey wouldn’t get her happy ending till she found her parents she thought.

She also thought Elizabeth’s and Darcy’s characters were flawed. They were both wrong yet somehow in the end they had achieved their happy ending? Did this mean that flawed people could have happy endings too?

Rey sat and let these thoughts run through her mind throughout the rest of the day.

***

School approached quickly the following week and their trio of three had grown to four. It all started the day that the students went to the movie theater with Mr. Tekka. Finn had found a jacket behind a movie theater seat as he was exiting the theater. He asked Rose if she knew whose jacket it was. Rose stated that she didn’t know but that it looked familiar. Fin had concluded that it belonged to one of the students and so he turned it in to the lost and found at the school.

It was a nice jacket. Brown leather with black and red, it looked like a vintage. A vintage pilot’s jacket. Finn was absolutely in love with the leather jacket. He wanted to keep it so bad, but he knew it belonged to another student. Everyday Finn, Rey and Rose would walk over to the lost and found to see if someone had claimed it. Fortunately for Finn, no one had claimed it. And every day he grew more and more excited that no one would claim it and he would be able to keep it.

Rey and Rose would roll their eyes every time Finn forced them to walk with him to the lost and found. He would talk and talk about how cool the jacket was. How nice it would look with his get up. It was funny at first but then Finn constantly talking about it started to drive the girls nuts. His heart was set on taking the jacket for his own. He would never be able to afford such an authentic piece of clothing.

“You know Finn, it’s almost been two weeks. Why don’t you just keep it already?” Rose commented as they were walking yet again to the lost and found.  
Finn actually took Rose’s advice and tried it on. He never took it off since putting in on. The leather jacket was a perfect fit. Finn’s face was booming and Rey couldn’t help but giggle at the ridiculous grin on his face. “Boys and their leather jackets,” she thought.

“C’mon lover boy, let’s go get some grub at Maz’s.” Rose teased him as he wore his jacket like it was an Olympic gold medal.

Later that day during their study session at Maz’s, Poe Dameron had walked through the door. He was ordering a root beer float when he turned and looked towards Rey and her group. He kept starring at Finn and then his eye’s snagged Rey’s. Rey instantly looked down, a slight blush on her cheeks for having been caught starring at Poe Dameron.

It wasn’t like she liked Poe or had a crush on him. Poe would never like a girl like her. Even if Rey did think he was nice, handsome and charming, she found out that most of the senior girls did too. She was just curious why Poe kept looking towards their direction.

After Poe grabbed his root beer float, he walked over to Rey’s table.

“Hey Rey,” Poe had smiled and waved. “Hey Rose.”

“And….. hello thief.” He lightly padded Finn on the shoulder.

Rose’s eyes went wide in shock and so did Rey’s. Finn instantly froze and lifted his head to meet Poe’s. Poe had a mischievous grin on his face.

“I believe you have something that belongs to me.” Poe responded.

For the life of Finn, he could not determine what rich boy Dameron had that he had taken.

“That jacket suuuuuure looks great on you buddy.” Poe chuckled and padded Finn again on his shoulder.

Rey and Rose both looked at each other as understanding dawned on them. They then burst into laughter as they realized that Finn was wearing Poe Dameron’s jacket.  
Finn sighed and a pure look of disappointment fell on his face. He looked like a kicked puppy.

“I, I,… I’m sorry Dameron, I didn’t realize it was yours.” Finn stood up and took off the jacket. He handed it to Poe and Poe looked down at the jacket.

Poe could see the disappointed and sad face of Finn as he handed him back his jacket. Finn was so embarrassed, he didn’t even want to look Poe in the eye.

After a long minute, Poe responded, “You know what buddy, you keep it, it suits you.” Poe laughed and handed the jacket back to Finn. Finn starred at Poe in shock.

“What?” Finn gasped and gaped at Poe like a fish with its mouth open.

Poe laughed again. “Yeah buddy keep it.” Poe had a big smile on his face.

“No, I couldn’t, it doesn’t belong to me, it wouldn’t be right.” Finn handed Poe back his jacket.

“Listen Calrissian either you take it or I leave it in your locker the choice is yours,” Poe replied more sternly. Finn could not speak, he was speechless. He kept starring at Poe, then Rey and Rose then back to Poe.

After several seconds, Finn finally responded. “Ahhh man thanks!” Finn jumped up and down as Poe handed him the jacket and everyone started laughing.

“Thank you so much!” Finn had the look of Christmas morning in his eyes. “I can’t wait to show my old man, he’s gona love it.”

“Glad you like it. It’s a vintage actually. A World War 1 pilot’s jacket. It was gifted to me by my old man a long time ago.”

“Are you sure you want me to keep it?” Guilt was starting to build up in Finn.

“It’s alright,” Poe chuckled in reassurance. “You’ll probably take better care of it then I will. Mind if I sit with you guys for a bit?”

Finn looked at Rey and Rose for approval, then Rose looked to Rey. Rey had found Poe’s kindness towards Finn endearing and decided to nod her head in approval.

Poe sat down with the trio and they began to conversate. Rey was very moved by Poe’s attitude towards Finn especially since Dameron was considered to be from higher society. “I guess not all wealthy kids are mean,” Rey thought to herself.

The more they sat with Poe and talked, Rey found herself being drawn into his big eyes and his charming charisma.  
From that day onward Poe had joined the trio in studying after school and hanging out.

Rey and Rose were a little hesitant at first to allow Poe into their group. Poe wasn’t poor or part of a minority group like Rey, Finn and Rose. They had been treated differently in school because of it. Mostly from other students.

But, Poe was different. He had proven himself worthy of friendship when he walked down the hall with Rey and the gang and decided to ignore the stares and cruel whispers of those around them. He didn’t care what your background was or what color was your skin. He was a genuinely, charming, handsome young man. Rey found herself becoming attached to Poe as he was slowly becoming a part of the group.

Whenever Poe wasn’t with them, he was either with his other senior friends or Ben Solo. Rey could not understand for the life of her why Poe and Ben would hang out together. They were literally polar opposites. One was open, the other was closed. But, for some reason Poe and Ben seemed close. Rey wondered what the connection between them was until one day when they walked into Maz’s Castle.

“Ugh, I’m starving,” Rose complained as they entered the diner.

“Tell me about it, I could eat a whole horse.” Finn responded back.

“I’ll order us some root beer floats for starters,” Poe winked as he went to the counter to order and Rey grinned.

Her eyes then found the dark and brooding silhouette of Ben Solo in the corner of the diner. He was reading another book and Rey couldn’t help but notice how sophisticated he looked with his book. She hadn’t spoken to Ben Solo since their heated conversation over Pride and Prejudice. Rey concluded she would not seek him out to have any further discussion on the matter.

Poe returned with the root beer floats when his eyes caught Ben sitting in the corner.

“Aww Ben’s here, give me a minute. I’m going to go say hi.” Poe set the root beer floats down and ran over to Ben in the corner. Rey could see that they were conversating with a familiarity that went deeper than just normal friends. She couldn’t hear their conversation but she could see their body language. Poe was very lively and animated while Ben was rigid and seemed agitated. Their conversation ended quickly though.

Ben abruptly got up from his seat and walked past Poe towards the entrance of the diner.

“Alright buddy I’ll see you later,” Poe called out to Ben as he exited the diner in a hurry like an angry tornado. Poe sighed deeply and walked back to the trio.

“What’s his problem,” Finn asked bitterly.

“I asked him if he would like to join us and he refused. Said he had better things to do.” Poe sighed reluctantly.

“You asked him what?!” Rey, Finn and Rose all said at the exact same time.

“I asked him if he would like to join us. ….He could use some friends and I figured you guys could help.” Poe sounded offended and Rey could not help her rising anger.

“Why do you care so much Poe, what’s it to you?” Finn asked accusingly. Rey had known early on that Finn did not like Ben Solo. He was very vocal about it and Rey could sense that they had a past. Why Poe would want Ben Solo to be friends with them was beyond Rey’s comprehension.

“Ok, slow down everyone. You guys look like you just saw a ghost. Before you get mad at me for inviting Ben, you should probably know one crucial detail.”

“And what’s that?” Rey asked and she could not hide the venom from her tone.

Poe sighed and then leaned in closer, like he was revealing some big secret.

“He’s my brother.”

END CHAPTER 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mini cliff hanger hehe, it'll all be better explained in the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations are made and dinners to be had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has mentions of abuse

CHAPTER 7

“He’s YOUR what?!”

Poe wasn’t sure who said it first. But the trio was staring at him with their eyes bugging out of their heads. He thought it was humorous really. Seeing the three of them gaping at him like some circus animal. He contemplated if he should tell them more and decided it would be best.

“Yes, you heard me. He is my brother.”

“But, But how?!” Finn almost shouted.

“Well...he’s my adopted brother or more like I’m his adopted brother.”

Rey stared at him in shock. She had no idea he was adopted....

“Yeah well, my parents died when I was 8 and the Solo’s took me in. My mother and Mayor Organa were best of best friends. They met during World War 1 when my mother’s family fled from Spain. They were inseparable really.”

“Wow Poe. I had no idea.” Rose responded compassionately, as she leaned towards him.

“Yeah well, the Solo’s took me and I was raised from then on along side Ben. It hasn’t been the greatest family experience, but Leia is like my second mother. I miss the family I had but I also love the family I was given. I’m grateful either way.” Poe shrugged and genuinely smiled as he told his new friends about his past.

  
A small awkward silence descended on the group as he finished his tale and Finn was the first to break the silence.

“Yeah, I know all about being adopted. Me and my sister were taken in and it changed our lives forever. In a good way. I love the family I was given too.” He gave Poe an understanding nod, like he knew exactly how he felt. It seemed like their friendship would grow stronger now from their similar backgrounds. 

It’s easier to bond with people you can relate to.

Something turned within Rey. She wasn’t sure if it was anger or hatred or sorrow. She had more in common with Poe and Finn then she ever thought she could.

However, Poe and Finn were given families. They had parents who loved them and gave them shelter. But what about her? Why wasn’t she given a family? How come she wasn’t saved? How come some rich family like the Solo’s didn’t come and take her in?

She always pictured being reunited with her family like a fairytale, some sort of miracle. Her parents would come banging on Plutt’s door and whisk her away to happiness/freedom. Just like Finn and Poe we’re describing, she would be happy with her family and safe.

Poe and Finn had both suffered. Yet, they were happy with the families they currently had now. Maybe one day she would be too...when her parents came back for her.

“So, why is Ben so closed off?” It was Rose who broke Rey’s thoughts and she turned to the girl with a sense of wonderment on her face.

“That’s, a good question. He’s…just,… been through a lot I guess. It’s really not my place to say.” Poe looked down like he didn’t want to pursue the topic any further.

Anger started to rise up in Rey again and her thoughts were racing. Poe had been through much worse than Ben. Yet, Poe was 10x nicer than Ben, had a kinder heart and actually treated people with respect.

What does Ben Solo have as an excuse to be the terrible human being that he is? He has a family that loves him, parents who sheltered him, parents that gave him food, parents that bought him toys, parents that tucked him away at night, parents who bought him gifts, parents who didn’t beat and torture him! Who the hell does he think he is to treat people let alone his own brother like a piece of garbage! Ungrateful child! His family has all the money in the world to spend on him and yet he still takes it all for granted!

Tears were starting to form in her eyes as she recalled the day that Ben Solo had called her a sob story and a nobody. Is that how he viewed Poe? A sob story. Did Ben call Poe a sob story too?

“Rey, are you okay?” Rose asked lightly.

“You know what I think,” Rey started and didn’t hold back the venom in her tone. “I think Ben Solo is an ungrateful, selfish little monster who thinks he can treat the world like garbage because he himself is a piece of garbage.”

Finn and Rose looked at Rey in shock. Even Poe looked shocked.

But then Poe’s shock turned to hurt. “Yeah, well...don’t let Ben hear you say that.” He tried to joke but Rey could tell he was getting defensive.

It was Rose who cleared her throat and suggest they start studying. Slowly but surely, the tension cleared away and the group began to truly study.

However, Rey never regained her lively attitude. She put on a face that she was happy and fine. But, on the inside she was jealous and angry. Jealous that Finn and Poe had gotten families and angry that Ben Solo had taken his for granted. She tried so hard not to think about her parents, but the agony was over-bearing.

She was so glad when Finn finally wrapped up the study session and they all said their goodbyes to head home.

When she arrived home, Plutt was drunk again. Her emotions were already running high and she didn’t feel like having a shouting match with him. However, Plutt was dead set on not leaving her alone and so they fought yet again.

The night ended with Rey curled up on her bed and another scratch mark in her notebook.

***

Rey had missed the last day of school on Friday. She didn’t want anyone from school to see her battle wounds.

She was walking home from work when she spotted Finn waiting outside Nima Outpost.

“Hey! Rey, you weren’t at school and I thought-” He stopped short when he took in Rey’s haggard appearance. Rey instantly turned around and started marching the other way, as far away from Finn as possible.

“Rey wait!” Finn called after and ran to stop her by the arm.

“Don’t touch me!” She roared without facing Finn. He instantly flinched and jumped back.

“Rey, I’m, I’m not going to hurt you. I didn’t mean to grab you.”

“Go AWAY Finn.” Rey started walking off yet again and Finn couldn’t help himself. He ran right in front of Rey and planted himself right in front of her.

Rey had the wrath of hell’s furry in her eyes as she locked eyes with him.

But then, something strange happened.

Finn sighed, threw his backpack to the ground and began unbuttoning his plaid shirt.

“What are doing!” Rey roared and looked around to see if others were around. Lucky for Finn no one was around. She was going to murder him for undressing in front of her.

When he finally unbuttoned his third button from the top, he stared Rey straight in the face and began. “See this scar here.” He pointed to his chest just below his collar bone. “A knife that was aimed for my throat when to my chest. And this scar here.” He pointed to his sternum. “Boiling water was thrown on me Rey!”

Rey’s lips began to tremble and tears were starting to fall.

“I’ve been bruised, beaten, tortured and called things I wish I was never called. Things I wish me and my sister could forget.” Finn pointed to his scars as he eyed Rey. “I know what it’s like Rey…to suffer.” His voice broke as he continued. “Her name was….. Madam Phasma and she was an evil witch. ….My sister and I finally ran away from her and we were on the streets for a while. I went to military school and Jannah was taken into a new foster home. When I returned, my adopted father had taken me in just like he did Jannah. 2 years ago, he and my mother officially adopted us and I took on the Calrissian name.” Finn had no idea what had possessed him to confess all of his mess to Rey. But, it felt right.

Rey was trembling and shaking from head to toe. Finn stepped closer to her.

“Rey, it’s ok to be broken. We all are, all of us have a story. We all have a past that constantly comes to haunt us and bring our futures down. We all have flaws that destroy our self-esteem and break our hearts. But, do you want to know the beauty of what I went through. I realized what I never wanted to be in life. I never wanted to be that person that would destroy another person’s life. The things I went through taught me 2 things, I could either be like my abuser or become better than them.”

Rey looked up at Finn. He had such big and open eyes that were more understanding then she could have imagined.

“When I saw you Rey, I felt like I was looking in a mirror.” Finn chuckled lightly. “I saw how you were at the diner the other day when Poe told us about his past. It’s ok to be jealous and angry Rey.”

Rey finally laughed as tears streamed down her face. “I felt the same. Like I was looking into a mirror too.”

Rey laughed again and Finn came in to embrace her.

“Finn? Is it weird if I feel like you’re the brother I never had?” She chuckled as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“No, I guess not. Little peanut.” He joked as he hugged Rey tighter.

“Little peanut?” Rey questioned.

“Oh nothing, it’s just you always smell like roasted peanuts every day when you come to Maz’s after work.”

“It’s not my fault! There’s a stupid peanut factory right next to Nima Outpost.” She couldn’t help but laugh and feel embarrassed that she always smelt like peanuts after work. Finn and Rey finally let go of each other.

“I’m embarrassed, you know, about the bruises. People always stare, that’s why I skip school.” She told Finn in a soft voice.

“Who cares what they think Rey, it doesn’t matter. Besides, since were being brutally honest and open with each other. You’re not fooling anyone Rey. There’s not enough make up and clothing to cover that up. Trust me, my sister knows all about trying to hide.”

Rey sighed and cleared her throat. “I suppose you’re right. And if you ever undress in front of me again, I’ll kick you in your manhood,” She joked.

Finn couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, I had to get your attention somehow. Good to know that it worked.” He laughed as Rey play slapped him on the chest.

“Rey ….why don’t you come have dinner with my family tonight? I’m sure my parents would love to meet you.” Rey hesitated, the day had been exhausting already and she had too many chores to do.

“How about tomorrow, when I get out of work.” She beamed.

“Sounds good, I’ll let my old man know, he’s the best chef on this side of Naboo.” Finn winked and Rey couldn’t help but laugh.

“C’mon little peanut, let’s head back.”

***

The next day came quickly for Rey. She hadn’t eaten anything all day so she would be hungry for dinner tonight. She met Finn at Maz’s Castle and from there they went to his house. As they turned the corner on Cloud City street, Rey saw the house.

The Calrissian residence was unique. The house was set up off the ground over water on cement stilts. It looked like the house was floating over water or over the clouds. The house was light blue and had a futuristic feel to it. Rey had never seen a house like it before. There was a 1940 Corvette sitting in the driveway and Rey couldn’t help but stare at the vehicle in awe.

“That’s my dad’s baby, but don’t tell him I said that.” Finn grinned as they walked by the beautiful car.

When they entered the house, Rey could hear loud chatter from the dinning room. As they entered there were three people looking at Rey.

“Rey,” Finn started. “This my dad Lando, my mother Lillian and my sister Jannah.” They all smiled warmly at Rey.

“Nice to meet you my lady.” Lando bowed. He was dressed in a fine silk shirt and Rey could tell he was fashionable. He even had a cape to go with his outfit. As funny as the cape seemed, Rey found it to be dashing on him.

“Welcome sweet little peanut.” Lillian beamed as she shook Rey’s hand. Lillian was tall and lean yet she had an unique fierceness to her appearance that spelt, “_Don’t mess with me_.”

“What’s up peanut!” Jannah called out loudly. The girl was beautiful. Tall and dark with long legs. Her face was strong yet beautiful. There were features of Finn in her face. And her hair had more volume then Rey had ever seen, it was beautiful. She was a beautiful girl.

“You can call my mom L3 for short,” Finn whispered loudly to Rey.

“L3?” Rey whispered back.

“Oh yes, did my lovely wife tell you her nick name?” Lando said in a charmingly smooth voice.

“Oh here we go again.” Lillian sighed and rolled her eyes as she went to remove food from the stove.

“You see,” Lando began. “My wife has 2 sisters and all of their names start with a “L”. There’s Laura the oldest, Luna the second sister and then my lovely wife Lillian the third sister. Henceforth 'L3.'"

Rey smiled and tried to hide her chuckle.

“Very smooth honey, very smooth.” Lillian rolled her eyes again while the rest of her family laughed.

The food was ready shortly thereafter and it smelled delicious. Rey had never seen such mouth-watering food in her life. They all gathered around the dinning room table to prepare to eat.

As they sat at the table everyone held hands to say grace. Rey hesitated but took Finn and Jannah’s hands.

“Rey, would you like to say grace?” Lillian asked.

“What’s say grace?” Everyone’s heads snapped up to Rey’s and she felt the weight of her question.

“Ugh, …it’s what we say before we eat Rey, here I’ll lead it for tonight.” Finn smiled warmly at her as her face seemed to blush brightly.

All of this was foreign to her, sitting at a table having family dinner, holding hands with loved ones, and praying before eating food? Rey had never done any of these things. She never had a family meal in her life. She mostly ate in her room with a can of food. Embarrassment and shame fell over her. She was starting to become quite emotional until Finn squeezed her hand in reassurance.

After grace was said, everyone began to dig in. Rey served herself a small portion of food and passed on the next dish. Conversation began to break out at the dinner table and Rey quietly observed the Calrissian family as she ate. "_What do families talk about during dinner_?" Rey thought quietly to herself.

“How’s school been kids?” Lillian started.

Finn spoke first. “Good actually. We’re almost done with our history project. We have to put a board together on Abe Lincoln.” Finn rolled his eyes, he hated school projects.

“That’s good kiddo.” Lando responded.

“I guess now’s a good time to let everyone know.” Jannah interjected. “I got a letter from the university today in the mail. I’ve been officially accepted into Indiana State University!”

The room erupted in praise and shouts and Rey almost jumped from the table.

“That a girl!” Lando praised his adopted daughter.

“That’ll show those prejudice and arrogant neanderthals who their dealing with.” Lillian commented in a righteous manner.

“Now honey don’t go starting a riot, Jannah getting into this university is the first step.” Lando commented as he padded Jannah on the shoulder.

“Well it’s about time we got accepted. She’s been waiting a long time to get in.” Finn commented.

“I think Mayor Organa’s letter of recommendation really helped. She must have put in a good word for me. Thanks for talking to her dad.” Jannah commented.

“Of course sweetheart, it was my pleasure.”

“You know Mayor Organa?” The question slipped out before Rey could even think about it. It was the first sentence she had uttered at the dinner table.

Lando chuckled. “Oh yeah, I’ve known her and her family for the longest. Well, I was friends with her husband first before her, but we go way back.”

“How far back?” Finn asked.

“Well, it was before her and Han got married. So, I’d say about 20 something years ago. Me and Han met during the first war. We were America’s rejects being thrown into battle. We were both young rookie pilots who had no idea what we were doing. Almost got each other killed.” Lando chuckled as his mind went down memory lane.

“Sounds like a crazy ride,” Jannah joked.

“It really was kiddo. Han, Chewie and I were inseparable.”

“Chewie as in Charles? Maz Kanata’s husband?” Rey could not help herself in asking.

“Yep, that tall chunk of hair was a pilot back in his day. A good one too. We all were. Funny how times passes by.” Lando looked down as he swirled his glass of wine.

“And you’re still close with the Solo family?” Rey asked. She found herself asking these questions without thinking and she didn’t know why.

Lando sighed, “Well, I used to be…. but a lot changed throughout the years. I still remember mini Solo calling me ‘Unca Wanwo’ as he ran out buck naked from the tub his momma was trying to bathe him in.” Lando had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he recalled the incident.

Finn had spit out his food, while Rey stared at Lando in shock. Everyone at the table was giggling except Rey and Finn.

“He what?” Finn started.

“Yeah it was the darndest thing. I came over to discuss a new plane acquisition with Han and here comes little two year old mini Solo all spring chicken for the world to see. ‘Unca Wanwo! Unca Wanwo!' Poor Leia was so embarrassed. She threw a towel over him instantly but then he used the towel as a cape to pretend he was flying a plane. Little Ben was so funny.”

The room erupted in laughter and everyone was laughing except Finn. He just looked down and kept eating. Rey couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as Lando recalled the memory. The boy Lando was describing and the boy she saw now sounded like two completely different people. _Was Poe right about Ben Solo? Did things happen in his life to make him the way he is today?_ _If so_, Rey thought, _it still didn’t give him an excuse to be the jerk that he is._

“It was one of the best memories I had with the Solo family. I used to call Ben ‘Little Starfighter’. He wanted to be a pilot just like his daddy.” Lando smiled to himself.

“What happened to him?” Jannah asked as she shoved more food into her mouth.

Lando sighed deeply. “I don’t know sweetheart. When he came back from military school. ……. Things just weren’t the same anymore. None of the Solos were.” Rey could see that a dark cloud had fallen over Lando and she could not figure out why. It was almost as if a pinch of agony had entered his expression. There was more to the story that Lando was holding back, Rey pondered.

The conversation had changed to a much more current topic and the story of the Solos had ended for the evening.

They ate dessert, joked about politics, laughed at the current jokes in the newspaper and discussed the war overseas. Rey found that she liked family dinners. They were fun and made her want to come over for more. Finn had told her that she could come over whenever she wanted to. Rey liked that, and took his word for it.

Finn decided to walk Rey home after dinner with their bellies full. Rey had never eaten so much food in her life, she thought she was going to puke. They walked in comfortable silence until Rey could hold in her thoughts no longer.

“Was it easy at first?” She asked out of the blue.

“Hmm?” Finn responded.

“You know being adopted, calling strangers you hardly knew ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’.”

Finn chuckled. “Rey it has never been easy. It took me and Jannah a while before we called them ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. We called them by their first names for the longest time. It wasn’t until Jannah had her first break up ever that she called Lillian ‘Mom’. A boy had broken up with Jannah and she lay crying on the couch for over an hour with her head in Lillian’s lap. Lillian gently messaged her hair and told her that prick wasn’t good enough for her anyway. Just that simple gesture of caressing and comforting Jannah made her blurt out the word ‘Mom’. It shocked booth of us really, but it just felt right.” Rey looked down as she tried to comprehend what Finn was trying to say.

“You see Rey. Acceptance in a family isn’t always based on blood. You don’t need a blood relative to be accepted into a family. Sometimes we have to chose who we call family even if were not related. Sometimes no blood relation makes it more special, like WE get to chose who is apart of our family and who is not. You don’t need an actual blood relative to be accepted Rey. Acceptance is not based on blood. It doesn’t make you any less of a person.”

Rey mulled Finn’s words over and over in her head. She was trying to comprehend being in a family without her actual parents. It was too difficult for her.

“I’m really glad I came tonight Finn. Thanks for inviting me.” Rey smiled and bumped shoulders with him.

“No problem peanut.” He joked.

“Can I ask you one more question Finn? It’s not about your family.”

“Sure.” He responded.

“Besides the obvious. Why don’t you like Ben Solo?” Rey was hesitant to ask but her curiosity was itching at her brain.

Finn looked down and sighed. He was debating if he should tell Rey, then concluded it would be best to get it out in the open.

“He and I went to the same military school. We didn’t get along well, Rey. He was an arrogant prick and would often bully his subordinates. I was one of them and we would often fight and argue. He always used to call me a ‘traitor’ because I had abandoned his battalion. Either way we never got along.”

Rey listened to Finn's tale and concluded that Ben Solo was still a monster in her book.

“Well, at least you don’t have to deal with him anymore.” Rey chuckled to herself.

“Yeah, unless we’re at school.” Finn and Rey both laughed.

“Anyway, I try to forget about him as best as I can.”

“I understand.” Rey responded.

“I’m really glad you came Rey. We’ll plan for next week again?”

“Yes! Next week would be wonderful.” Finn hugged her as they parted ways.

***

Sitting in her bed that night many thoughts were running in Rey’s head.

“You don’t need blood to be accepted into a family Rey.” Finn’s word kept spinning in her head.

All she had wanted her entire life was to be accepted. If Finn and Poe and Rose could accept her, perhaps that was all she needed. …………..

END CHAPTER 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when military schools were established in the U.S., before or after the 1940's but either way it's in the story.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey almost gets into a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying my best to get chapters out. Unfortunately a full time job at a hospital doesn't allow me the freedom I would like. I hope you enjoy this chapter as it has more Ben/Rey interaction. Thanks for reading!

CHAPTER 8

The next few weeks had passed quickly for Rey. She had her schoolwork and actual work to keep her busy. Fall was passing quickly and with it the war overseas. Rey was grateful that she escaped Europe when she did. It didn’t stop her from wondering if her parents were still there and she often had difficulty sleeping at night because of it. She took comfort in hanging out with her new friends and continued to have dinner with the Calrissian’s at least once a week.

It was Monday morning and everyone was entering Mrs. Tano’s class for lecture. Rey had sat down next to Rose who seemed to be preoccupied with something. She followed Rose’s eyes and noticed that she had been staring at Finn. He was talking to another girl in class. She had blonde hair and big dark eyes. She was very pretty and Rey had noticed that Rose had begun to fidget in her seat. She decided to break her train of thought.

“Who’s the girl Finn is talking to?” Rose seemed to jump out of her trance and looked at Rey with a surprised expression.

“Oh, that’s Kaydel. I’ve known her since elementary school." She looked down and stared at her textbook. Rey could tell that she was embarrassed for having been caught staring at the duo. She had a slight suspicion that Rose may have been jealous. Her suspicions of Rose having affections towards Finn had begun a few weeks ago. Though not wanting to embarrass her or make anything awkward, Rey had started to believe it not impossible that her suspicions were correct. Maybe she would ask her friend about it when the time was right.

“Alright class, today we’ll start off with more group discussions.” Mrs. Tano announced. Groans erupted throughout the room and students started to moan.

“Really? Are group discussions really that difficult? All you have to do is talk during class. Doesn’t that sound fun?” Mrs. Tano tried to be enthusiastic like she was doing the students some kind of favor.

“Alright ungrateful children it’s not that bad. Pull out your reading assignments and get with your partner. You’ll be assigned with the student two seats behind you. Now get to it. I want you to discuss the characters and plot significance of the story.”

Rey groaned as she realized she wouldn’t be able to pick her partner. She would have much preferred to be with Rose, Finn or even Poe. She figured Mrs. Tano was doing this to break up the groups and clicks within the senior class. She liked to have a variety of opinions during discussion.

As Rey turned around to see who would be her partner, she instantly snapped back to face forward. Of course, it would be him. He had locked eyes with her the moment she turned around. Rey saw from the corner of her eye Mrs. Tano smile mischievously as she passed out papers.

“Did she do this on purpose?” Rey thought to herself. She must have enjoyed her and Ben Solo’s heated debate last time they were partners and decided to get a kick out of placing them together again.

When Finn turned to see who Rey’s partner was, he leaned in towards Rey and whispered, “Do you want to switch? I think I can handle him.”

“No, it’s fine. I can handle him.” She responded in a determined voice as she gathered her books and pushed off from the desk. As she sat down across from Ben Solo, he kept his head down and barely acknowledged her. She sighed deeply and tried to clear her mind of angry thoughts before she opened her mouth.

Of all the things she could have blurted out, she had no idea what possessed her to utter these words. “So I finished the book.”

Ben’s head snapped up towards Rey’s. She stared at him in confusion and mentally cursed herself. “_Why? Why would you bring up that book again? Stupid idiot! Now I have to admit that he was right_!” She fought within herself.

She could see that it took Ben Solo a while to comprehend what she was trying to say. He had a quizzical look on his face until understanding dawned on him.

“And?....”

Rey hesitated before responding. “I think that…..it has an interesting message.” She would not admit to him that the book was starting to grow on her greatly. No, her pride and ego was too great for that.

“Interesting message?” Ben repeated slowly.

Rey didn’t know what to say next, but she blabbered on anyways. “Yes, that two people can still be wrong yet right at the same time.”

Ben starred at her with a perplexed look. “So, your saying that Darcy and Elizabeth are both bad yet good?”

“Maybe.” She swallowed. “I mean they both let their pride affect their judgements and it resulted in hate.”

“I don’t believe Mr. Darcy ever hated Elizabeth. It was Elizabeth who hated Darcy.” He responded like there was a double meaning to his words.

“Yes but, Darcy insulted Elizabeth and thought ill of her.” 

“But he never hated her.” Ben shot back.

“While he acted like he did.” Rey shot right back.

“What you didn’t catch about the story was that Darcy was hiding behind his own self-righteousness because he didn’t want to admit that he wanted Elizabeth. Elizabeth hid behind hatred while Darcy hid behind pride.”

Rey could not think of a rebuttal to his statement. It was either because her mind was too blank or the fact that he had actually been right about the story. She looked down as she tried to regain her composure.

“I suppose you’re right. But if Darcy would have been open from the beginning it could have halted the oncoming hatred from Elizabeth.” She looked Ben Solo in the eyes as she responded.

“I suppose….. you may be right.” Ben stated as he looked at her with an intense gaze. He looked like he was turning Rey’s words over in his head and trying to digest them. She was initially shocked. Did he actually admit that she was right? She wasn’t nearly as shocked as the next words flew out of Ben Solo’s mouth.

“My name is Ben, Ben Solo.” He stuck out his hand hesitantly towards Rey’s. She looked at him like he was mad. This was not the first time they had met. Why is he barley introducing himself now? She almost wanted to laugh at him until she realized they never told each other their names and had a formal introduction. Rey swallowed her pride and reached her hand hesitantly over the table to shake his hand. “My name is Rey.”

Their fingertips were mere inches away and almost touching when they both froze with their hands midair. Both of their hands were trembling and Rey couldn’t figure out why. Their eyes had locked. She didn’t like the feeling she was getting. It felt foreign to her, almost like electricity. She shoved her hand into Ben’s to end the awkward handshake. She made a quiet gasp as their hands met and was shocked by how warm Ben Solo was. Not only that, his hands were large, much larger than hers. It felt like her hand got pulled into a hole.

As the handshake ended, they both cleared their throats. After a few odd moments of silence, Rey decided to break the ice again.

“So….have you read the new assignment yet?” She asked timidly. Why was she feeling so timid?

Ben cleared his throat, “I’m about halfway through the book.”

“Oh.” She paused almost afraid to continue until she asked. “Do you like the book?”

“The book yes, the characters no.”

Rey chuckled to herself. She felt the same way. “I don’t think I’ve hated a female character more than Daisy. I haven’t finished the book yet, but I can feel like my opinion of her will not change like it did with Mr. Darcy.”

Ben looked at her thoughtfully, “You may actually be right about Daisy. I guess…. some stories characters don’t change by the end of a book.”

“I think Daisy changed before the book began.” Rey noted.

“You may actually be right about that as well.” He murmured quietly. Were they actually having a civil conversation? Rey did not understand what was going on with this group discussion. But she concluded that if Ben Solo was going to be civil to her she might as well be civil back.

“I’m not sure where the plot is going, but Gatsby seems to be blinded.”

“Blinded by what exactly?” Ben asked.

“By his own ambitions, I feel like the author tries to display this in Gatsby’s actions.” Rey responded thoughtfully.

“Interesting, others would say he’s blinded by love.” Ben thought aloud.

“Blinded by love? All of his actions are motivated by love?”

“Why else would he do everything he’s doing. He’s trying to change the past and buy Daisy back. The whole plot centers on Gatsby trying to change the past when he should just let the past die, kill it if he has to.”

“Kill the past?”

“Yes, there’s no point in living in it.” Ben responded more sternly almost as if he were talking about something else besides the book.

“But the past defines who we are, where we come from, where the characters come from.” Rey’s voice was wavering. She did not like the idea of killing the past because that would mean killing her parents.

Ben scoffed, “The past is what prevents us from becoming what we were meant to be. It needs to die.”

“How does someone’s past hold them back exactly?” She wondered if they were still discussing the book or something else completely.

Ben opened his mouth to respond until Mrs. Tano announced that group discussions were over.

“Alright class, everyone back to their seats. Time to discuss what we discovered about each other’s take on _The Great Gatsby_." Mrs. Tano announced as everyone moved to their seats.Rey abruptly jumped up from her spot across Ben and moved back to her seat. Lecture continued on and she tried to focus without thinking about the last 10 minutes with Ben Solo.

***

During lunch Poe did not sit with Rey, Finn and Rose like he did most times. He sat with Ben and Rey was somewhat grateful that he didn’t invite him to sit with them. Poe was still trying to warm up the group to Ben. Rey and Finn were against allowing Ben Solo near them and it was only Rose who was open to the idea. Then again Rose never hated anybody. She was too good for that.

Later on in the afternoon, Rey had gotten off of work early. It was the owner’s birthday and the shop was closing early. She was extra greasy today as she took apart a whole engine to herself. She loved every minute of it and didn’t mind the grease.

Rey entered Maz’s Castle to meet up with the gang for their usual study group. She was a bit early and none of her friends were there yet. She decided to pick a table towards the entrance of the diner that had enough chairs for everyone. She set her bag down on the table to hold the spot and decided to head towards the counter to order a Dr. Pepper.

When she was walking to the counter, she noted Ben Solo again in the back corner reading another book like usual. He did this often, though not every day.

“What can I get for you today little peanut!” Charles “Chewie” roared as he saw her at the counter. Rey laughed to herself and blushed. Apparently Finn’s nickname for her was starting to grow.

“I’ll have one Dr. Pepper please.” She beamed up at him.

“Coming right up!”

As Chewie was preparing Rey’s drink, the door to the diner flew open as “General” Hux came striding in with his crew. Rey only recognized the girl with him named Nettie. Her real name was Bazine Netal. That was too foreign sounding for an American name and so she had shortened it to Nettie. Rey had one encounter with her and it had not gone well. Nettie wasn’t a very nice person…..

She didn’t recognize the other two seniors with them, but she figured they were like Hux and Nettie. Her suspicions rang true when they eyed her table for the taking.

“Hey Hux, we should sit here.” One of the seniors said as he pointed to the table that Rey had her bag on.

“Yeah but I think someone is sitting here.” Nettie responded with a sneer as she eyed Rey’s bag.

“Yeah whose trash bag is this?” The other senior boy lifted Rey’s bag and they all laughed at it.

“Probably some slum banger who left their pouch.” Nettie responded mockingly. Rey was starting to get upset as she grabbed her Dr. Pepper from the counter. The grouped laughed as the senior boy tossed Rey’s bag to ground and all of her belongings scattered across the diner’s floor.

“Hey!” Rey roared as she ran back to her table. “What do you think you’re doing?” She spat at the senior boy.

“Oohhhhhh well well, look who we have here. So, the trash bag was yours.” Hux mocked her.

“I was sitting here.” Rey replied furiously.

“Awww and now you’re not sweetheart.” Nettie responded as the other senior boy bumped Rey from behind and caused her to spill the drink of Dr. Pepper on herself. Hux’s group erupted in laughter and Rey started to see red. She slammed the cup down on the table harshly which caused the groups attention to snap to her.

“That’s not funny!” Shewas furious, she wanted to punch Hux in the face.

“Actually, it is grease face and you wana know what else is funny, all those shiners you get on your face every other week.” Hux’s cruel words had dug into her. She picked up the glass cup that had her Dr. Pepper and flung the rest of it directly at Hux. His shirt was now covered in Dr. Pepper.

The group gawked at what Rey had done and Hux starred daggers into her. “Aww so you got a little fight in you. You’ll pay for that.” There was venom in his tone as he gestured to his buddies to pick up Rey’s bag. They started throwing and tossing her bag around as her belongs began to fly out.

“Give it back!” Rey started to chase the senior boys across the table as they kept tossing the bag repeatedly over her head.

“Awww look at the scavenger go!” Nettie cooed. “You almost had it that time. Let the little street rat catch the trash.”

“I said give it back!!” Rey was tirelessly jumping back and forth between Hux and the other two senior boys who were throwing the bag over her head. She was just too short to reach them. Usually her reflexes were fast but not perfect.

“Oh come on now desert rat, you must be used to getting pushed around. We all know you get pushed around at home. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and disappear into the trash bin you came from.” Hux snorted and laughed as the others joined in.

“What’s wrong did your real parents not keep you because you were ugly?” Nettie cooed again at Rey as the boys continued to toss her bag back and forth. She was getting tired both emotionally and physically. She was angry for how they were treating her belongings, her property! And sad because their words were cutting too deep like a jagged blade.

“No one will ever want a filthy girl like you!” Hux spat as he threw Rey’s bag so hard into her chest that she stepped back and slipped on the Dr. Pepper that spilled on the floor. The other senior boy reached down to grab her bag again and the game started all over again.

Rey jumped up again and was ready to snap on Hux’s pretty face to give him a shiner. She was ready to lunge when she heard what sounded like thunder from right behind her.

“**Give her back the bag**.”

Everyone stopped. They all looked directly behind Rey. It seemed like the whole diner froze. Rey slowly turned her face and looked up to see the tall and daunting figure of Ben Solo standing directly behind her. And he was terrifying. A site to beheld really.

Rey’s neck hurt as she had to crane her head to look up at him. He was TALL. She had never stood up this close next to him and she could see why his height was intimidating. Not only his height, it was his physique that spelled intimidation. He was trembling, his hands were in fists and his eyes had murder written in them. He looked so dark and threatening that it almost scared Rey. She noted from the corner of eye that Nettie had moved behind the boys. She must have been just as terrified as her. Her thoughts of terror were broken when Hux broke the silence.

“What did you say?” Hux asked in disbelief.

“You heard what I said, give her back the bag.” Ben’s voice was so deep it almost made the hairs on Rey’s skin pop up. His voice sounded deadly.

“What’s it to you Solo?” One of the senior boys spat at him.

“I said give her the bag back.” Ben threw daggers at the senior boy.

“What are you gona do about it Solo if I don’t? Kill my father?” Hux spat the words and there was a twisted smirk on his face.

Rey saw Ben flinch and his face fell. The tension began to rise and she could feel like one of the boys was about to snap.

Hux and Ben stood off against each other and she could see that Ben was getting ready to pull back his fist for a punch. Hux was about to mimic him although he seemed terrified when a loud voice came ringing from the counter.

“HEY!” The voice was Maz Kanata’s. “You kids better not start what I think you’re about to start in my diner!” Maz came running from behind the counter and stood between the two boys. “So help me God if you idiot kids start a riot in my restaurant! I’ll banish you for the rest of your young lives!”

Both sides deflated as they realized that Maz Kanata was not someone to be dealt with. Both Ben and Hux looked down in shame as the other seniors looked awkwardly around like they didn’t know what to say or do. Rey however watched the entire scene in utter shock.

“You four,” Maz pointed to Hux and his crew. “Out of my diner! And you two”, Maz pointed to Rey and Ben, “Go sit in the back and take a chill pill.”

Hux had an angry look on his face. He was about to protest until Chewie came to stand beside his wife. Chewie was more threatening than Ben. No one messed with Chewie, NO ONE.

Hux scoffed, “Hmph, come on guys this place aint worth our time.” Hux and his crew exited the diner but not without throwing daggers to Rey and Ben. Rey threw them right back.

“Rey, are you alright sweetheart?” Maz came to rest a hand on her shoulder and she flinched.

“I…I’m fine.” Rey’s voice was wavering and she could tell she was about to become emotional.

Maz sighed, “Why don’t you get another table towards the back, you’ll be less bothered there. I’ll get you some drinks and something tasty to eat.” The older women smiled tenderly and placed her hand on Rey’s cheek. Rey smiled but the smile did not reach her eyes.

Maz sighed as her and Chewie walked back to the kitchen to prepare food. When Rey turned to grab her belongings, she realized that Ben Solo was still standing there next to her. She looked up at him and anger rose in her. _Why did he intervene? What does it matter to him!_

Ben was about to open his mouth when she cut him off, “I didn’t need your help.” Her voice was like daggers. “I can handle myself!” She pushed past Ben in an angry haze. Too embarrassed and mortified by the situation that he had witnessed. She stomped her way towards the back of the diner and slammed her bag down on the table. She was shaking, her emotions were in turmoil. She just stared straight forward. Not moving, not flinching. She needed to calm herself down, but she couldn’t figure out how to.

The scene kept replaying over and over in her head. Their cruel words, her humiliation and most importantly Ben Solo’s intervention.

Rey didn’t even budge when she noted Ben Solo return to his booth which was next to her table. The awkwardness in the room increased when she could feel his eyes on her. She decided to dig into her bag and pull out her textbook to start reading as a distraction from her emotions. She reread the same paragraph 10x until she finally gave up on reading.

Rey stared at the page blankly. She could feel her eyes begin to water but she would not let them fall down her face.

She could practically physically feel Ben’s eyes still on her. He wouldn’t stop glancing and looking at her. After what felt like an eternity of awkwardness, she finally snapped and slammed the textbook closed more harshly then she intended.

“You know, if you intend on starring, you might as well come and sit here to get a better look!!” She was furious, she used all the venom in the world to snap at Ben. Her face was red and she was sure that that was the most harshly she had ever spoken to Ben Solo. Ben immediately slammed his book closed and gathered his belongings to leave.

“_Good, get lost and leave!_” Rey thought bitterly to herself as she saw him rise from his booth. She was waiting for him to walk away when to her surprise he pulled the chair out across from her and sat down directly in front of her. He slammed his school bag on the table and was now starring directly at her.

Rey was shocked. She stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth was gaped open like a fish. She could not believe that he had just done that.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing!” She spat at him.

“You asked me to sit here.” He looked at her like she was silly, like it was silly of her to say that when SHE was the one who invited him to sit here.

“What!? Are you mad, I was being sarcastic!”

“You told me to come and sit here!” Ben repeated.

Rey scoffed and laughed to herself. “Why in the world would you want to sit here with me? Don’t you have better things to do than to sit here with the scavenger that the wind blew in!” Her face was getting angrier. She wanted nothing more than to be left alone and here was Ben Solo being the most irritating and awkward boy she has ever met.

Ben’s eyes opened wider as Rey spoke. She saw a guilty look cross his eyes and she wondered if he was thinking that she had heard him that day outside the diner when he had called her a _scavenger_. Understanding had dawned on his face as he realized that she had heard him say those things.

“You’re no different from them.” She whispered quietly. She didn’t look him in the face, she was too embarrassed. She wondered if he was sitting across from her simply to mock her for her humiliation. After a long silence it was Ben who spoke.

“Rey.”

Ben’s voice was so soft yet strained that she instantly snapped her head up to his. He was looking at her with a look that Rey could not describe. His face was serene yet intense and it made her gasp the way he had said her name. She had never heard him say her name before. In fact, no one had ever said her name that way before, it sounded too intimate, too foreign.

Rey continued to stare at him with wide eyes. _What is up with this boy? Why is he so different ,so odd? She f_elt her anger dissipating but it still didn’t take away the fact that he had been cruel to her that day by the diner.

Her anger returned fully and she glared at him. She was about to open her mouth when Chewie interrupted them.

“Alrighty kiddos, I got two root beer floats, yours has Dr. Pepper little peanut.” He winked at Rey. “And a basket of our famous fried frog legs.” He placed the food and drinks between Rey and Ben.

“You kids eat up and study hard.” Chewie then lifted his large hand to shuffle and shake Ben’s hair. “Especially you little starfighter.”

Ben gasped and then glared at him. “Don’t call me that!” He spat.

“Aww c’mon quit being a moody face, eat your food and study with little peanut here.” Chewie laughed. “Or I’ll tell your mother about the fight you almost started here today.” He laughed again.

Ben’s breath hitched and he turned to look up at Chewie. “Don’t you _dare_ tell my mother or …. maybe you should, at least she would pay attention for once.” He looked down with a solemn expression that was equally just as angry.

“Aww c’mon kiddo you know she cares.” He rubbed Ben’s hair again.

“Stop doing that I’m not a child!” Ben roared and Rey flinched. Why was he so mean to Chewie, the man obviously cared about him? They almost seemed like family.

Chewie looked Ben Solo directly in the face. “I know you’re not.” He shot back. “But that doesn’t change anything. Now be nice to peanut and start studying.” Chewie growled before adding, “If those kids were adults, I probably would have given um a slugger before kicking um out the diner.” Ben chuckled and Rey could have sworn she saw a smile form on the corner of his pursed lips.

“Thanks Chewie,” he responded in an almost endearing tone. Rey stared at Ben again. He was changing completely in front of Chewie, almost as if he was a different person completely. She could tell by the scene before her that they were more close than she could have imagined.

As Chewie walked away, the awkwardness returned. She continued to stare at Ben while he kept his eyes down. Rey didn’t know what to think or what to feel. She felt blank and empty.

Ben finally cleared his throat as he added, “You can have these, I’m not hungry much.” He gently pushed the basket of food towards her and she started at his movements. She continued to stare as she tried to piece together the enigma that was Ben Solo.

“I don’t understand.” She blurted and Ben’s head snapped up to her’s with questioning in his eyes. “Why are you doing this? Why do you even care?” The questions flew out of her mouth.

Ben looked intensely at her, “I..”

“Rey??”

Rey’s train of thought was cut off completely as she heard another person’s voice from behind her. She froze and then turned around to see Finn, Rose and Poe who were coming up behind the duo. Finn was starring at the scene directly in front of him. Rey and Ben Solo were sitting at a table together, eating and talking.

“Rey?” Finn repeated. “What are you doing here early?” Finn asked her the question yet his eyes were on Ben Solo throwing daggers.

She didn’t know what to say, she just started at the trio in utter disbelief.

It was Poe who broke the awkward silence. “Ben?!” He exclaimed. “What are you doing here buddy?” He sounded enthusiastic like he didn’t want Ben to leave.

Ben cleared his throat. He was clearly unwelcomed here, especially with the daggers Finn was throwing at him. “Nothing.” Ben abruptly stood up. “I should be going.” He repeated nonchalantly.

“No buddy you could stay and study with us.” Poe repeated as he gestured to the group to back him up. Finn continued to glare while Rey was still staring in shock at the scene before her.

It was Rose who spoke up, “Yeah, you could stay and study with us if you like.” Rose was being genuinely nice and there was no malice in her voice.

Ben looked like he was about to accept the invitation until he decided against it. “No, I really should be going.” He gathered his belongings, dropped a tip on the table and started heading towards the exit.

It was only Poe who followed him. “Hey Ben, why not just stay? I mean you were already sitting here with Rey.” Something in his voice sounded like he wanted an explanation for why he was sitting with her in the first place. Poe knew it was not like Ben to sit with other people.

“I have better things to do,” He muttered and pushed past Poe as he exited the diner. Poe returned to the table and sat down with his friends.

An awkward silence had fallen until Finn had broken it. “What’s up with Solo? Why was he sitting here Rey?”

Rey was ripped out of her thoughts. She didn’t know what to say or how to feel. She just stared blankly at her friends before blurting the truth. “We almost got in a fight, Maz had separated us from Hux before we destroyed the diner.” Rey told the entire tale except she left out the part how Ben had intervened.

“What!?” Rose roared after hearing the tale. Rey had never seen her happy little face angry before. “They shouldn’t have done that Rey. It’s mean and cruel.”

Rey nodded and looked down.

“So, what does that have to do with Solo?” Finn asked.

“They were messing with him too.” Rey wasn’t technically lying. She was just leaving out the part where Ben had defended her or is that what she would’ve called it. She didn’t know why she was omitting Ben’s intervention truthfully. She’s not even sure if her friends bought the story. However, she continued on like normal and tried to block out the past thirty minutes. The group moved past the awkwardness and began to study. Soon, things were back to normal.

Although for Rey, she knew things would never go back to normal.

END CHAPTER 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I read and watched The Great Gatsby but either way I hate Daisy's character lol. Please don't hate me if I misinterpreted the story. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets a friend in the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a reminder, this is a war story featuring events from WW2. If it makes you feel uncomfortable please be mindful of the tags. Also, as mentioned earlier, times were different back in the 1940's and some racial discrimination may slip its way into this story, BUT not heavy at all. I myself, I'm not comfortable with these topics but they fit in the time context of the story. Thanks for reading!

CHAPTER 9

It had been a week since Rey’s fiasco at the diner and she did her best to block out the memory. It kept playing in her head like a film reel over and over. Though Rey had never been to a cinema she imagined her head playing like a reel.

The more reflection she did of that day, the more confused she became. It wasn’t the cruel treatment that she received from Hux’s gang that kept pulling at her head. It was the bizarre and strange intervention of Ben Solo.

Rey could not understand why he intervened and she did her best not to ponder on his bizarre behavior.

***

Rey was walking with Rose to school the next morning when she decided to confront her about Finn. Rey didn’t know how to start the conversation because she wasn’t sure what to say about relationships since she never had one. She didn’t know what it was like to have a crush on someone or for someone to have a crush on her.

Rey never thought about relationships in her life, they were trivial things. The only focus of her life was survival and food.

“Rose?”

“Hmmm?”

“I, …… Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Rose smiled brightly.

“You promise not to freak out or lose your wits if I ask you something?”

Rose gave her a confused look. “Um, sure Rey. What is it?”

“I, I was wondering….if it was ok to ask you something that may be personal?”

Rose laughed and pulled her to a stop by grabbing her shoulder. “Rey? What is it? The suspense is killing me. So spit it out, you can trust me.” She gave Rey a reassuring smile and nodded her head for her to continue.

“Well, I was wondering if you could answer something?” Rey bit her lip hesitantly before continuing. “Do you have affections for Finn?”

Rose’s eyes immediately opened wide and something akin to shock flew across her face. Rey instantly wondered if she had gone too far or broke some sort of boundary. Maybe she had no right to ask these questions.

What if Rose wasn’t the friend Rey thought she was.

To Rey’s surprise, Rose yanked her by the elbow and drug her to the nearest bench where they sat down. She looked around to make sure no one was around before opening her mouth.

She looked Rey desperately in the face and began, “Is it? …….Is it that obvious?”

Rey could not help but chuckle in relief. Rose was looking at her like a scared young girl who needed a friend or companion to talk to about the situation.

She cleared her throat, “I wasn’t sure at first. But the more I observed the two of you, it made wonder. It’s ok if you do Rose. I, …I want to be your friend and be there for you.” Rey could not understand what came over her to say those words to her.

When had she ever called anyone her friend? Or said that she wanted to be there for them? It felt strange to Rey but also right. She was slowly learning that it was ok to trust others. She had learned that from Finn and it was starting to rub off on her.

Rose smiled. “Rey, I’ve liked Finn for longer then I can remember. I remember seeing him before he left to military school and I was sad that he was leaving. I’ve never told anyone about this, not even my own sister who’s like my best friend.”

Rey pondered her next words. “So, he doesn’t know that you like him?”

“No, I don’t believe he does, either that or he is totally oblivious.” Rose looked down at her hands that were fidgeting with her dress.

“You know he can be pretty oblivious at times.”

Rose chuckled to herself, “Yeah he can be. But it doesn’t really matter anyways. My family will never accept him.”

Rey gave her a confused look, “What do you mean?”

“I have traditional Japanese parents Rey who want me to marry a well-educated Japanese boy. I don’t think they would ever accept Finn.” There was a sadness to her voice and it pulled at strings in Rey’s heart that she didn’t even know she had.

“You don’t know that. Finn’s a great human being, they just need to meet him. I’m sure once they meet him, they’ll fall in love with him.” She did her best to reassure Rose. It was true about Finn though, he was a genuine young man.

“Maybe, I guess. But my sister is no help in the situation.” Rose sounded frustrated.

“Why is she no help?”

“Because she has a Japanese boyfriend who is studying to become a doctor and my parents just looooove him! If I were to bring Finn over they would probably freak out and tell me I should be like my sister.”

Rey sighed, “Yeah that sounds like no help at all. But if you like him Rose, maybe you should tell him.”

Her friend scoffed, “Yeah and then he turns around and tells me he doesn’t feel the same way. I can’t do that Rey, I can’t risk our friendship.”

She was pondering Rose’s words and was trying to think back if she had seen any signs that Finn had liked her friend. Rose and Finn did share a close friendship over the past several weeks. They worked good as a team.

While thinking past the last couple weeks, there was an incident that caused Rey to wonder.

Rose had lost her necklace medallion a few weeks ago and she was sad that it was gone. Her sister had the other half of the necklace medallion and it was a symbol of their sisterhood.

Rose had cried over it and Finn became determined to find it for her. He had spent the entire day looking for it across Jedi High until he encountered a student pickpocket named DJ. Apparently, DJ had “found” it and Finn had demanded that he give Rose back her necklace. Finn had almost gotten into a fight with him over it and he would not stop until the necklace was back in Rose’s hands.

Rey recalled the determination on Finn’s face as he would not rest until Rose was happy again with her necklace. He was practically her hero in the situation and Rey didn’t miss how Finn had suddenly dropped everything just to help her.

Rey sighed, “You know, maybe he feels the same way. Maybe he’s afraid of ruining your guys friendship as well. I guess time will tell and I’ll be here whenever you need to talk about it.”

Rose threw her arms around her in a tight hug, “Thanks Rey, you’re the best.” Rey froze at first, she still wasn’t used to hugging or receiving affection. But she returned Rose’s hug and decided it was ok to receive them once in a while.

Rey cleared her throat, “So your parents wouldn’t really like Finn?”

Rose released Rey and sighed, “I don’t think that they would. They’re so traditional, I can’t even explain it. You would have to see for yourself firsthand how they are to understand it.”

An idea then popped into Rose’s mind. “Rey!”

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t you come over for family dinner this week. You could meet my parents and then determine if they would be open to Finn or not. You could probably get a better feel on them and see if they would like him.”

“Family dinner? I don’t know, are you sure it would be ok if I came?” Rey liked family dinners, especially with the Calrissians.

Her friend laughed, “Yes Rey! You’re not a boy, they would only lose their wits if I brought a boy home. Not a friend.”

Rey pondered the situation. If meeting Rose’s parents would make her feel better about Finn, she might as well do it. “Ok, sounds like a plan.” Rey agreed to the dinner.

“Yay!” Rose jumped up and her bouncy curls were flopping. “I’m so excited Rey!”

“Me too.” She smiled as they continued their trek to school.

***

As Rey and Rose were entering history class, they saw a bunch of students huddling by the radio that Mr. Tekka had set by the window seal. They were all murmuring and whispering over the radio and Rey felt the scene before her odd. Mr. Tekka was watching the scene from afar by his desk as the radio blared the news.

** “England is bombed again as the Blitz continues. Nazi Germany has just bombed London and the surrounding cities. The devastation and casualties are great! London will be obliterated by the time Nazi Germany is done with them. War is raging overseas. Is it only a matter of time before it reaches us!?” **

Rey’s breath hitched and her heart almost stopped. She felt every eye and face turn to her as she stood over her desk in utter shock.

The whole room turned to face her like she was a magnet. Even Mr. Tekka had a grave look on his face as he gave a sympathetic look towards her.

Rey tried to swallow as her breath hitched and she sat down immediately in her seat. Mr. Tekka cleared his throat and announced for the students to return to their desks immediately. Lecture quietly began and she could hear the whispers of students talking about what they had just heard over the radio.

Rey tried not to think, tried not to focus on anything. No, she would not focus on the fact that her country was becoming obliterated, not focus on the fact that her city was most likely obliterated and NOT focus on the fact that her parents were still there in the wreckage. It was too late though, her thoughts ran.

_What if they didn’t make it out in time? What if they were hit by the bombings? What if they were injured? Or worse, what if they were dead? _

A single tear slipped down Rey’s cheek and she wiped it away quickly before any students could see. She wasn’t so lucky though as she saw Ben Solo looking at her from the corner of her eye.

***

Rey decided to skip lunch, in fact she left school early. She didn’t want to be around people right now.

Finn and Rose had tried to offer her comforting words but nothing would take away the aching sorrow she felt. The whole day at school she had felt the stares and quite murmurs of students around her. They all had the same look, some were of pity and others of sympathy. Rey felt so isolated being the only British person there and she couldn’t stand one more minute of it.

She arrived to work early and decided to dig into an old tractor engine that she had been eyeballing for a while now. She tried to clear her mind as she took parts apart and let the grease sink into her fingers.

The grease felt soothing for some reason but then it reminded her of home. Tears were on the verge of gushing down her face but she clenched her jaw and continued to work in anguished silence.

After work, Rey did not meet her friends as Maz’s like she normally did. Instead she decided to take a walk, a walk down Chandrila street to clear her mind. It wasn't normally on the way home but she decided a little detour wouldn’t hurt.

She walked until she found an isolated park. She sat down on a bench and looked around to see if anyone was near by.

Once she realized she was alone, she pulled out the crinkled newspaper from her bag and read the headlines over and over again.

**“LONDON IS BOMBED” **

Rey got through the first paragraph until she could take it no longer. She flung the newspaper to the floor, pulled up her knees to her chest and buried her face into them. Sobs racked through her chest and she couldn’t fight the tears that were falling helplessly. They just kept coming and coming. She tried to control her breathing, tried to stop her crying but she just couldn’t. After a while, her sobs turned to hiccups.

With her head still buried in her knees, she heard rustling from afar off that sounded like it was rapidly approaching closer. She didn’t even notice the fast approaching intruder until they had jumped on her shoes.

Rey had gasped and practically jumped out of the park bench when she felt hands, except they weren’t hands, crawl up her legs.

She opened her eyes and looked down to see a white and orange fluff ball licking her. It took her seconds to realize it was a dog and she couldn’t help the sight before her.

The dog was adorable to Rey. He had white, orange and brown mixed into his fluffy fur coat. His long tongue was hanging out and he looked at her like she was the happiest thing he had ever seen even though she didn’t feel happy on the inside.

The dog was still a pup, she could tell by his size. As she stared down at him she couldn’t resist his puppy dog ears and puppy dog face. A small smile broke out on her face as she bent down to pet the panting pup.

“Hello there boy, what’s your name?” Rey sniffed and cleared her throat as she petted his adorable floppy ears. The pup jumped up and nuzzled himself into her side. She could not help the chuckle that escaped her mouth as the pup jumped further up on the bench right next to her and tried to sit in her lap.

She was about to check the collar on the dog to see what his name was when she heard a voice boom from across the park.

“BB!”

Rey’s head snapped up and all she saw was the tall and daunting figure of Ben Solo running across the park with an exasperated look on his face. She saw his eyes trained on BB and the dog immediately barked when he heard his name. Ben was solely concentrated on the pup until his eyes looked up to see whose lap had been the unfortunate jumping pad for BB. When his eyes met Rey’s he almost stopped dead in his tracks.

A look of shock crossed his features and Rey could not tell if her face matched his. He slowed down his pace and walked slowly to the bench.

When Ben reached the bench, he cleared his throat and swallowed.

“I’m, I’m sorry. BB get down.” He ordered the pup in a stern voice to get down off of Rey’s lap to which BB responded with a small bark.

He sighed and repeated in a deeper voice, “C’mon boy get down, you can’t jump on strangers.”

Ben’s face started to turn pink, she couldn’t tell if it was because he was embarrassed or getting angry. BB again barked and then turned to jump on Rey and lick her face.

Ben was about to snatch the pup off of her until her heard the giggles that were escaping from her.

He froze and stared in amazement at her. He had never heard her laugh and something struck him on the inside.

After a few long seconds Rey cleared her throat, “Ok boy, I think you’ve had enough licks.” She moved her hands to gently guide BB off of her lap and gently pushed him down the bench. The pup whined but she gave him a reassuring pat as he moved from the bench towards Ben.

The pup put his head down and had his tail between his legs as he walked back to his owner. The pup knew he was in trouble for running off and was afraid to look Ben Solo in the face.

For a split second, Rey wondered if everyone looked down in the presence of Ben Solo when on his bad side. It almost made her angry until she saw him sigh and bend down on his knees to grab and pet the pup. “You can’t go running off like that buddy, you could’ve gotten lost.” He murmured in a low voice while putting the leash back on him. He gave BB a few reassuring pats and the pup started to lick him.

While on his knees, Rey was able to view Ben Solo at angle she had never thought she would see since he was so tall. He had long lashes, so long they reminded her of a cow’s. The top of his head had waves that fell out evenly yet messily across his face. His big years stuck out a little from beneath his hair and she wondered if that was why he wore it long. His nose was long and stuck out but not in a bad way.

The most significant thing Rey observed from her angle was his splashes of moles and beauty marks that spread across his face. She did not think him a handsome boy. But, from her angle she could not help but think that she might have been wrong about her initial assessment because she didn’t find him plain at all.

After putting the leash back on BB, Ben Solo stood up and Rey was ripped out of her angled gaze.

He cleared his throat and started, “I’m sorry about BB, he can be….a handful.” He looked down like he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say.

Rey cleared her throat and tried to think of what to say back. She still wasn’t over their last encounter in the diner and she didn’t feel like talking to him. She swallowed her pride and decided to be civil.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind dogs. …They make good companions.”

Ben’s head snapped up to her's, “Yeah, if they don’t run off.” He gave BB a disappointed look.

“What’s his name?” She couldn’t help asking.

“His name is BB8, but we call him BB for short.”

“BB8, that’s an odd name, I’ve never heard that name before.”

“Yeah, well it was Poe’s idea not mine. The dog is actually his but he never takes care of it. I mostly do it myself.” Ben huffed and Rey could tell he sounded angry bringing up Poe. She was taken off guard by the mention of Poe’s name until she remembered that he was adopted by the Solos.

_Of course they would have the same dog silly._ Rey had thought to herself, how could she have forgotten that they were “brothers”.

“Why BB8?”

Ben sighed, “BB was the eighth and last pup born in the batch. So, Poe decided to call him baby 8 which was shortened to BB8.”

Rey could not help but smile. The name sounded like something Poe would name his pet, he was clever like that. “Well, I think BB8 makes a lot of sense now.” She tried her best to smile. But now that BB wasn’t there to distract her, she was reminded of why she was sitting in the park in the first place.

Rey’s eyes trailed down to the newspaper that BB was currently sniffing. The headlines blared in her face again and a single tear slipped down her face.

She tried to wipe it before Ben had noticed but she figured he did anyway.

His eyes followed Rey’s until they landed on the newspaper. Now that he wasn’t distracted by BB8 he could see that she had been crying. Her face was puffy, there were tear tracks on her cheeks and her eyes were red. Ben wondered why he hadn’t initially noticed how sorrowful she looked. Something constricted in him and he couldn’t name what had caused him to feel it.

He thought it might have been compassion…

“I’m sorry about Britain.” The words flew out of Ben’s mouth quicker then he would have thought. Rey looked up at him, trying to gauge if he was being genuine or not. There were tears in her eyes and she was trying to prevent them from falling again.

He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handkerchief. He offered it to her and his hand was slightly trembling in midair as he waited for her to grab it. Rey couldn’t understand his gentlemen like behavior but decided to accept the handkerchief anyway.

“Thank you,” She murmured quietly barely above a whisper.

“Did, did you know people there.” It was more of a statement than question from him. Rey didn’t understand what he was trying to say until she saw him staring at the newspaper headlines.

“I was born and raised there, what do **YOU** think.” Rey couldn’t help the bitterness in her tone of voice.

She thought of the place she grew up in. A junkyard and lousy neighborhood where homeless children were on the streets. She thought of the starving and dissolute faces of the people who lived there. Or now, the dead and lifeless faces from the bombings. The faceless, dead and cold faces of her parents. Rey instantly jumped up from the bench to leave. She did not want to be having this conversation with anyone let alone Ben Solo.

“Rey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Ben was cut off by her.

“You know, I don’t know what game you’re trying to play with me. First, you call me a scavenger and a nobody, treat me like I’m stupid, then you attempt to defend me at the diner and now you’re trying to offer me sympathy!” Her voice rose and the tears that she had been holding back started to fall. “If you’re trying to get a laugh at me, it’s not funny! I’m not someone you can mistreat one day and then “act” friendly to the next.”

Rey had started to wonder if he was bipolar or mad. “Why are you wasting your time with a nobody like me!”

Ben flinched, he hadn’t expected her to openly admit that she had heard his words that day by the diner. He looked down and tried to process her words, he gave her a strange look that Rey could not decipher. “I, I was- ……I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Rey scoffed, “You’re only sorry because you got caught.” With that she turned to leave and BB8 whined as he tried to follow her. She didn’t turn to look back at him. She couldn’t, not if she wanted to prove her point and not let what he had just said sink into her. _I shouldn’t have said those things_.

She laughed to herself, of course he would be sorry, except she knows that he still feels everything he said to be true.

While walking away, Rey realized that she was holding his handkerchief still in her hand. She didn’t realize she was clenching her fists until she opened it to see it crumpled. With a reluctant sigh she turned back around to hand him back the handkerchief.

“Here, I don’t need this anymore.” She didn’t look him in the eye but kept her eyes down.

Ben’s voice was soft like velvet as he spoke, “No, you can keep it.”

His voice was so tender that it made her wince. _Why is he being so nice_? She stuck out her hand further towards Ben.

“I don’t need it, I’m not gona take something that isn’t mine.”

“It belongs to you now Rey, it’s not mine to take.” She looked at him in astonishment. She could see that he was being genuine.

The next words that flew out of his mouth threw her off guard. “Let me, I mean-….Can I walk you out of the park?” Ben’s voice was wavering, she could tell he was hesitant of her answer.

It sounded to Rey like he was trying to make things better. Like he actually felt bad for being a jerk.

She cleared her throat and barked, “I can walk myself out.”

“I know, I just …. wanted someone to walk out with.” Rey stared at Ben Solo like he was a mad man. Despite her feelings, she didn’t know what had made her nod her head yes. She figured he was awkward and probably had no social skills what-so-ever. She wanted desperately for their encounter to end.

You probably shouldn’t walk with someone who just yelled in your face. And yet here was Ben Solo asking if he could walk her out. He was acting like a gentlemen and Rey could not ponder why or why she had agreed to walk with him out of the park.

Ben’s expression lifted and he gestured for her to start the trek out. They walked in awkward silence down the park’s path. The only distraction was BB8 wanting to play with Rey as they walked. He kept barking and yelping at critters that were running across the park.

It was a good distraction for Rey. Not one single word was spoken between the two teenagers and she was grateful for it.

Walking next to Ben, she couldn’t help but feel so small. He was like a giant next to her and when he turned his head to look down at her, she instantly snapped her head forward. And tried stupidly not to blush for being caught starring up at him.

As they reached the gate to exit the park, Ben cleared his throat, “I guess we should be going now.” He gestured towards BB8.

“Goodbye Rey.”

“Goodbye Ben.”

Ben’s breath hitched, it was the first time Rey had ever said his name aloud. A look of wonderment crossed his face and she had wondered where his mind had run off to. Without thinking she turned and walked away towards home.

She turned back a minute later to see him still standing there, looking back at her with BB8 and instantly looked away.

Rey could not understand what was happening with Ben Solo and she tried her best to erase him.

END CHAPTER 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Blitz really happened during WW2 where England was repeatedly bombed by Germany. The dates range from September 1940 to May 1941 which fits in with the timeline of the story. BB8 is based off a collie puppy. I freaking love dogs and couldn't wait to put BB8 into the story. Thank you guys for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets injured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I was going to finish this last week, but got caught up. Anywho, I'll add notes at the end. Thanks for reading!

CHAPTER 10

Rey was more nervous then she would have thought as she knocked on the door to Rose’s home. Winter was coming quickly and she felt the cold chilly air starting to sting her skin.

The dinner with Rose’s family had been postponed a few weeks but it eventually worked out. Rey was glad, she needed a few weeks to digest the bombings in her home country. Finn, Rose and Poe had all done their best to comfort and support her. However, their kindness didn’t seem to reach her inner person. She thought about their kindness and hated herself for not feeling more appreciative of it. Maybe in time she would feel comforted but nothing seemed to work for the time being.

However, she did think about Ben Solo in the park and how her encounter with BB8 had made her laugh when she couldn’t remember the last time she had. She remembered how much joy BB had brought her and it made her almost grateful that she had run into him.

Who would’ve thought that Ben Solo was indirectly responsible for bringing her comfort in the park. Rey decided to push those thoughts towards the back of her mind and not think about them. Thinking about him was always an enigma, like lost in a haze.

As Rey waited she wondered if she would like Rose’s family like she did Finn’s. She was slightly shivering when the door opened and a young woman smiled at her. She was beautiful and Rey instantly knew that she must have been Rose’s sister. She was taller than Rose and leaner. She had big dark eyes and a lovely face that had features of her sister in them. She had a necklace medallion around her neck and Rey instantly recognized it as the other half to Rose’s medallion.

“Hi, I’m Paige, Rose’s sister. You must be Rey.” Paige opened the door wider and stuck out her hand towards Rey.

“Yes, that would be me.” Rey smiled and shook her hand.

“Come on in, Rose will be down in a second.”

Rey entered the Tico home and was instantly thrown into a traditional, or what she would of thought it, Japanese home. The décor and layout of the home was beautiful and unique. Unlike anything she'd ever seen in England. Even the American styles were unique to her. But this home was not an American one.

The layout was in shapes of squares and rectangles and the doors in the home were all sliding doors. There were beautiful plants and objects hanging on the walls and writings in Japanese. The caligraphy painted the walls like a giant paint brush moving.

“Rey!” Rose came running down the stairs and jumped on her to give her a hug. “Thanks for coming. My patents are waiting in the dinning room. What do you think?” Rose chuckled as she gestured with her hands at the home in which they were standing in.

“It’s beautiful and unique, nothing like London or Jakku or even this city.” Rey stared in awe at the traditional art on the coffee tables and the blossoms spilling over them.

“C’mon, it’s time to eat.” Rose grabbed Rey’s hand and let her towards the dinning area. When they entered Rey was perplexed by what she saw. The dinning table was flat almost on the floor and there were no chairs. They were sitting on the ground around the table and a floor mat was placed on each spot where someone sits.

Rose cleared her throat, “Um Rey, I forgot, you have to take off your shoes while in the house.”

“Oh darn! I’m so sorry Rose I forgot to tell her at the door!” Paige chimed in. “Here Rey let me take them for you.”

Rey looked down embarrassed and hesitated before taking off her shoes. She handed them to Paige who mouthed I’m sorry before rushing to put them away with the rest of the shoes. Rey felt even more embarrassed as she looked down to see that there were holes in her stockings that were now exposed thanks to her absent coverings.

Rose followed her eyes and instantly bumped her shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, let’s just enjoy dinner.” Rose grinned and Rey couldn’t help but smile back.

“Mama, Papa, this is Rey.” Rose introduced by gently pushing her forward.

“Hello Rey, my name is Hue, Hue Tico and this is my wife Thanya Tico.” The man, whom Rey assumed was Rose’s father, had introduced themselves and gestured towards the seats around them. “Please sit, we are honored to have one of my daughter’s friends as our guest.” The man smiled warmly and Rey could tell by his genuine smile and demeanor that he would be a kind host.

Rey moved slowly to the table and sat down on her legs next to Rose and Paige. As the food was served, Rey noted the different styles of dishes and couldn’t wait to try them. The smell was so enticing it made her stomach growl.

“Would you like some tea Rey?” Mrs. Tico asked with a smile.

“You are English are you not, you must like tea?” Mr. Tico asked as his wife poured a cup.

“Father, just because she’s English doesn’t mean she automatically likes tea.” Rose scolded defensively.

Rey then laughed softly, “No it’s ok, I actually love tea.”

“See I told you child, she likes tea.” Mrs. Tico handed Rey her cup and she couldn’t help but giggle softly to herself.

As the dinner went on, Rey couldn’t help but notice how much different Rose’s family was from Finn’s. It wasn’t bad in any way in her opinion just different. The Calrissians were much more louder and carefree while Rose’s family was more reserved yet still friendly.

“_I guess every family is different_,” Rey thought to herself. So far she was enjoying her experience with the Ticos. Especially Mr. Tico. Rey found him to be quite hilarious as he described the issues he was having with various patients. As a doctor, Rey could tell that his family was used to him telling various stories or jokes about his job.

“Father, you shouldn’t talk about the patient’s…bowel issues at the dinner table.” Rose groaned in embarrassment.

“On the contrary, I would quite like to hear it.” Paige laughed back at her sister.

“Ugh this is what happens when you a husband and a daughter in medicine.” Mrs. Tico groaned. “No decorum at the dinner table whatsoever.”

“Oh c’mon dear it’s not that bad.” He winked at Rey and she stifled a giggle.

“Paige, are you also studying to be a doctor?” Rey couldn’t help her curiosity.

The older girl sighed, “No actually, I’m studying to be a nurse. I finish next spring and then I’m off to Hawaii!” Paige gushed.

“Hawaii?” Rey asked.

“Yep, there’s a Navel base in Oahu near Honolulu that I will be practicing nursing. I already have a contract set up thanks to my father.” Paige beamed widely as her parents stared at her proudly.

“And of course, your boyfriend will be going to.” Rose muttered under her breath.

“Yes, I’ve already arranged for the two of you to go, along with some of the other young ladies practicing.” Mr. Tico noted. He then babbled on about being proud of Paige for finding a good leveled Japanese boy who was becoming a doctor. Rey could see Rose rolling her eyes as the conversation went on. She could tell that Mr. Tico valued education and would not accept anything less than an educated man for his daughters. He wanted to make sure that Paige and Rose were taken care of after he was gone.

After observing Rose’s annoyance in the conversation, Rey decided to chime in to steer the conversation in a different direction.

“Hawaii sounds exciting, I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s beautiful.” Rey smiled and babbled on about islands she didn’t even know about. She was probably calling them out incorrectly but she did the best she could from seeing a poster on Hawaii once in London.

“Yes, and so do the soldiers there.” Rose snickered towards Paige who rolled her eyes.

“Oh, the soldiers worry me too, no fooling around out there in the naval base.” Mr. Tico pointed his spoon towards Paige.

Paige rolled her eyes, “Father you don’t have to worry about that, it’s the other girls coming with me that you should worry about. Besides, I already have a boyfriend and have no interest in finding another.” Paige narrowed her eyes at her sister.

“What is it about a uniform that attracts a woman.” Mrs. Tico joked.

Rose laughed and then chimed in, “Maybe it’s the heroic look they have when they wear one.”

Rey smiled and couldn’t help but think of the soldiers she had seen in London. She remembered how stoic they looked and how they carried themselves. Rey liked the uniform and couldn’t help but stare as soldiers passed by. She remembered how a soldier had given her a piece of bread one time when she was starving in the streets of London. He had been her savior and from that day on, Rey had valued men in a uniform.

As dinner and dessert were finished Rey was heading towards the front door to exit the house. She had spent a long time conversating with Rose’s family and couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous that Rose had parents who loved her and took care of her.

In truth, Rey was impressed with the Tico family. She noticed that there was a naturalness to their conversations that stemmed from being in a loving and caring home. Rey tried not to become emotional as she thought about her family or her parents or the lack of thereof. 

She was about to exit the home when she noticed a large painting hanging in the living room. It struck her curiosity and she walked closer to get a better look.

“What is this painting?” She asked quietly to Rose.

Rose followed Rey’s eyes, “Oh, it’s the two fish that make up Yin and Yang.”

“Yin and Yang?” Rey asked.

“Yeah it’s a traditional and old Asian myth of light and dark. See one fish is black with a white spot on its’ head and the other is white with a black spot on its’ head. They represent light and dark. The light and dark swirl around each other to live in harmony and balance.”

“Oh,” was all Rey could think of to say.

“Yeah, my father likes believing in mythology. He says this painting represents both the light and dark that everyone contains within themselves. The dark has a little light in it and the light has a little dark in it.”

“Light and dark?”

“Yep, sounds mystical doesn’t it?’ Rose laughed.

“I, I think it’s beautiful.” Rey was so transfixed on the painting. It made her think about herself, about her own light and…darkness.

Rose cleared her throat, “Yeah it’s been in our family for a while now. The painting was passed down.”

“How wonderful to have such a family heirloom.” Rey smiled and turned to exit the Tico home.

***

Monday morning had hit fast and Rey was back at school. The weather had gotten much colder in November and she wondered if snow would fall early this year. She hoped not because she hated snow, she was used to the heat of Jakku and not so much the cold. On top of that, Plutt had continually taken money from her which left her little to obtain a suitable coat. She concluded layering was her best option for the cold.

Rey sat down at lunch with Rose and Finn who were arguing over something. They had papers and books tossed around and she figured they were discussing their group project. They were supposed to finish it days ago, but everyone was disagreeing on which Shakespeare play to do it on. Mrs. Tano was insistent on torturing her students, Finn was sure of it.

“Ok, so if we do the project on Romeo and Juliet, we could talk about the conflicting sides and the war between them. For our poster board, we could put everything on one side blue and everything on the other side red to show the contrast.” Rose chimed in.

Finn groaned, “That sounds so mediocre though, no fun at all.”

“I think it might work.” Rey added as Finn huffed.

“Well what other ideas do you have Finn, it’s due in three days!” Rose barked.

Rey could sense there was slight tension between Finn and Rose. _Why were they arguing?_ She had sensed a weirdness between the two recently.

Rey wondered if Finn had somehow found out about Rose’s feeling for him and now they didn’t know how to act with one another. Or what if it was something else entirely? Rey couldn’t pin-point it, but she concluded she didn’t want any civil wars between her friends.

From the corner of her eye, Rey saw Poe approaching their table with Ben Solo trailing behind him.

“Hey guys!” Poe beamed. “Discussing our already failed group project.”

Finn laughed and Rey elbowed him.

“It’s not a joke Poe! We need to figure this out. Or we really are going to fail. We need your input as well.” Rose protested.

Poe sighed, “Alright, alright why don’t we discuss it now and figure this out. And maybe…Ben could help us.” He gestured towards Ben Solo who was standing slightly off to the side waiting for Poe so they could go sit at their table in the back.

Poe had been doing this repeatedly the last couple of weeks. Trying to sneakily convince the group to let Ben sit with them at lunch, even though Ben had seemed aloof to his ministrations and insist they sit elsewhere.

Finn gave Poe a look, but he continued on anyways, “Yeah, you see Ben here likes all that literature and poetry stuff doncha Ben.” Poe elbowed him to gain his attention towards the group.

“What?” Ben gasped.

“Yeah he like reads literature all the time and writes poetry. I’m sure he could help us with this project, he probably knows more than all of us put together.” Poe joked.

Everyone then stared at Ben Solo as his face began to heat up.

“Poe…” Ben growled.

“What? I’m not saying it to be funny, you’re really good at this stuff. C’mon you haven’t even joined a group yet and Mrs. Tano said you have to join one or you fail. So how about it?”

The awkwardness began to rise in the air between Finn, Poe and Ben until Rose broke it.

“You write poetry?” She asked timidly.

Ben sighed, “I, I like it, but I don’t write it.” He glared at Poe as he dragged out his sentence.

“Well it’s settled then, let’s sit and come up with a game plan. We got to finish this!” Poe sounded like a cheerleader trying to motivate a team in an awkward losing streak. He nodded his head at Ben to which he responded with a reluctant nod.

“Is everybody on board?” Poe asked.

The group looked around at each other to see who would respond first. They all knew what Poe was really asking, he wanted it to be okay for Ben to join them.

Eventually Rose smiled kindly and nodded. Finn refused to make eye contact which made it up to Rey if they would accept Ben into the group project.

Rey stared at Poe and then her eyes moved to Ben. She could see Ben’s eyes casted downwards and noted how fidgety he was. There was a shyness to him and she wondered how someone as intimidating as him could look so nervous.

Rey thought about how he had given her his handkerchief and …. how warm his hands had felt when they first shook hands. Despite her own feelings of hatred towards Ben Solo, she couldn’t deny the recent kindness he had been showing her. She then politely smiled and nodded her head.

Poe clapped his hands together which snapped Ben out of his thoughts, “Alright it’s settled, lets get down to business so none of us have to repeat the 12th grade.”

Poe moved and sat down next to Finn on one side while Rose scooted over to make room for Ben on the other side of the table. It took Rey a second to realize that she would be sitting right next to Ben Solo.

Ben slowly and hesitantly sat down next to her as she felt something pass between them. She decided to let the awkward feeling go and focus on the task at hand.

“Ok, so none of us have decided on a Shakespeare piece to do the project on. Right? We'll perhaps we need a little bit more input. Ben, do you have any ideas since you're the expert?” Rose asked.

Ben realized the group’s attention was on him and cleared his throat, “How about_ Hamlet_.”

The group seemed intrigued yet hesitant.

“We could focus on the betrayal by Hamelt's uncle which starts the entire conflict. This all starts because of the _Uncle_.” For someone reason the way Ben had said the word “uncle” had really struck Rey.

It sounded like he really hated Hamlet’s uncle and blamed him for everything in the story. Which is somewhat true. She wondered if he was thinking about _Hamlet_ or something else entirely when discussing it.

Ben continued on, “Each part of the poster board could focus on a thematic element from the play. If we divide the board into 4 parts, we could describe 4 thematic elements of the play. One section could be on power and greed which describes Claudius, another section on vulnerability and strength which describes Hamlet and-”

“Oh, oh, how about love and devotion which describes Ophelia?” Rose jumped in.

“Yes, that could work.” Ben responded.

“And lastly vengeance which describes Hamlet and his entire family.” Rey finally spoke up.

“Great! We got all 4 parts now.” Poe jumped in. “Any other thematic elements?”

“How about trachery. Claudius being a traitor seems to be a big plot point in the play.” Finn muttered under his breath as he stared at Ben. Rey noticed the exchange between the two and instantly remembered Finn’s past with Ben. He had mentioned that Ben used to call him “traitor”.

“I like it,” Poe butt in again and broke Rey’s train of thoughts. “Each one of us will put together one part of the board and bring it all together for the final piece. Sound like a plan?”

Everyone nodded and sighed in agreement. Rose seemed content with the agreement as did Rey. She really didn't want to fail this project.

Lunch continued on and the conversations that followed had deviated from the group project once all the details were set. Everyone had their task to do and two days to complete it.

Rose had broken into a conversation with Finn and Poe which left Rey and Ben to sit awkwardly and listen. They were discussing something Rey couldn’t keep up with and she sighed defeatedly. Sometimes Finn and Poe would go off into their own world that left the girls irritated. Rose did a better job at keeping up then her. Sometimes the boys could be idiots, stating that girls couldn't understand what they were talking about. It was all good humor even though it irritated Rey sometimes.

She continued to pick at her bread until she heard Ben Solo clear his throat, “So, I think BB8 misses you.”

“Hmm?” Rey turned to look at Ben who was casually looking down at his lunch tray.

She wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or not. But she concluded he was when he turned and spoke again, “I mean, he keeps going to the bench in the park to look for you.” Rey concluded he was talking about the pup.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, whenever I take him for a walk in the park, he goes looking for you at the bench.” He responded in a soft voice.

Rey gently smiled. She loved BB8 and his adorable puppy ears. “While I miss him to.” She wasn’t lying, BB was special, he knew how to cheer you up when you needed it. She secretly wished she could see the dog again, but she would never admit that. Not to Ben anyway.

“Well, if you….walk through the park again, I’m sure BB would be happy to see you.”

“How often do you take BB to the park?”

Ben sighed and turned to face Rey, “At least 2 to 3 times a week. You know since _he_ never takes care of him.” He pointed with his head towards Poe.

She stifled a chuckle, “Is Poe always irresponsible with animals?” For some reason Poe seemed like the irresponsible type to Rey, even though he was charming and energetic.

“Yes, he’s killed more unfortunate goldfish then I can count. He likes having and playing with animals but doesn’t put in the hard work.” He responded sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

“I see-.” Rey was about to respond back when she looked straight and saw three pairs of eyes starring at her and Ben.

Ben put his head down and Rey looked surprised. How long had they been watching them?

“Whatcha you guys talking about there buddy?” Poe asked with a slight look of amazement. If there was one thing Poe knew about Ben was that he was hardly ever conversational.

Rey decided to break in, “Oh we were talking about BB8 actually.”

“BB?” Poe stated energetically.

“Yes, I met him at the park a few weeks ago.”

“Who’s BB8?” Rose asked.

“Oh, he’s my pup. I got him a while ago from a farmer out east.” Poe gushed. “He’s the cutest pup ever, a bit feisty though. He’s got a mind of his own that’s for sure.”

“You could say that again.” Ben muttered.

“Awwww I like dogs, I would like to meet him too.” Rose gushed back at Poe.

“Yeah, I gotta bring the little guy by sometime.”

“Yeah or you could go walking in the park like Rey.” Finn added with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. She figured it wasn’t directed towards her but to Ben.

The conversation ended as the lunch bell rang and students started to clear the lunchroom.

“So today at Maz’s, were going over poster design details correct?” Rose asked.

“Yep.” Finn and Rey responded.

“Oh Ben! You should join us at Maz’s place. We’re going to need your help with the design.” Rose added before he could walk away.

“Yeah we’ll be there.” Poe padded Ben on the back before he could respond for himself. They all walked off to finish the school day.

***

Rey was rushing and panting to Maz’s diner after work. She was running late because of a "minor" accident at work. She had severely cut her hand on a sharp piece of metal during her scavenging and had attempted to wrap it to stop the bleeding. After rinsing her hand repeatedly and applying pressure to large gash, she concluded that stitches might be required. However, that was only a want not a necessity, she had survived worse cuts before …or so she told herself. It was bleeding profusely but she figured the pressure from the bandages would help. She didn’t have time to wash up or clean the grease off of her. She was a complete mess but that didn't matter. She was already late and she didn’t want to keep her friends waiting.

As Rey flung open the diner door, she saw Finn, Rose, Poe and to her surprise Ben all turn their heads towards her with a surprised look.

“Rey!” Finn started, “Are you ok? Where have you been?” They all took in haggard appearance and grease like stains.

“Oh um, a little fiasco at work but I’m fine.” She hurriedly sat down and tried to act normal. All eyes were on her and she smiled widely to reassure everyone she was fine. She was doing her best to hide her bandaged left hand under the table.

As Rose cleared her throat, everyone’s attention went back to the poster board. They were almost halfway through the poster board discussion when she realized she was sitting next to Ben. He hadn’t even glanced at her and she hadn’t even glanced at him…until now.

Rey was starting to feel a little dizzy when she gripped her left hand on the table for support. A little later into the group study session she had begun to feel more tired and fatigued. She was thrown out of her fatigue when she heard Rose blurt some words excitedly.

“Ugh, Ben why is your arm bleeding?!” Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him.

“What?”

“Your arm buddy!” Poe jumped in. Ben looked down at his right arm which leaning on the table where Rey had gripped earlier. He had a confused look as he saw deep red stains on his white shirt.

“That’s not my blood.” Ben boomed in a deep voice.

“_Oh no_.” Rey thought to herself. She looked down at her left hand and sure enough, her hand was bleeding profusely through the bandages. She gave a big defeated sigh and Ben’s eyes followed hers. Ben instantly jumped back a little from her.

“That blood is not mine,” he growled.

Everyone looked at Rey who was looking down at her left hand. She began to panic but then did her best to reassure her friends. “It’s fine, it’s just a little scrape really. It’s nothing.” Her voice went up a few pitches, she was a terrible liar.

“Rey. You look a little pale.” Finn said in a sharp voice that almost made Rey flinch. “Show me your hand, NOW,” he demanded.

Rey reluctantly lifted her hand slowly from under the table to reveal the glorious mess that she was trying to conceal. Everyone gasped in shock.

“Rey that’s not just a scrape!!” Rose’s voice rang high.

Finn instantly jumped up along with Poe.

Rey’s head started spinning and the next words that came out of her mouth were slurred, “It’s, it’s nothing you guys- I”. The world began to spin faster and before Rey knew it she was toppling sideways to the left out of her chair.

She waited for the cold hard floor to catch her. She was used to the floor catching her, especially when Plutt was in one of his moods.

However, Rey felt something strong and warm surround her before she hit the floor. She thought for sure she would hit the floor. Her head was now nestled in between the arms and chest of someone. The feeling felt nice…. _Do floors always feel this nice?_

Her vision blurred and all she could see was long wavy dark hair dangling above her. She felt so tiny in this person’s arms. The last thing she thought of before passing out was the warm and forest smelling scent of whoever was cradling her. She felt the person’s stout chest vibrate against her body as they called out her name.

“Rey!”

END CHAPTER 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger hehe. Hue and Thanya Tico are the canon names for Rose and Paige's parents. I had to do some research but found it in the comics. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This semester kicked my butt and I'm juggling school and a full time job. Anywho, I'm so excited to be updating and I hope some of you are enjoying this story. I'm in this for the long haul and can't wait to tell my story.  
Warning: This chapter features some abuse by none other than Plutt.

CHAPTER 11

Rey was climbing the roof of an old abandoned warehouse. It was dark and muggy with a light fog creeping in. While exploring, she saw something shiny hanging from the tall building. It was tantalizing, sparkling and she knew if she could reach it, she would be able to eat for the next 2 months. She climbed and climbed until she reached the top. Her thoughts ran on about all the different things she could buy if she reached the shiny scrap object hanging from the ceiling. A loaf of bread, a pound of tea...someone to help her locate her parents.

It felt so satisfying at first, the thought of laying her greasy hands on the object. As she climbed the rafters, she noticed the object kept moving further and further away. In her desperation she jumped and reached for the long piece of wood that was holding the shiny object. She latched on with all her strength and after climbing on top she reached for the shiny object.

The sun was reflecting off of it, casting a beautiful glow in the abounded warehouse. So transfixed she reached for the object with the lust of the world in her eyes. As she grasped the object, a burning sensation burst through her. A fire crawled up her fingertips and threatened to consume her hand. She didn’t scream, even though she wanted to. She just stared in horror as blood dripped down her hand and on to the ground far down below. She heard the echo of the blood drop in her ear as it hit the floor until her hand was completely consumed by fire.

Rey rapidly awoke to the sound of a monitor next to her. Instead of a warehouse she found herself in a bed. A bed with white siderails. The dripping sound of blood from her dream was actually a blood vile hanging on an IV pole. She felt the blood go into her and looked down on her right forearm where there was an IV. The next sensation she felt was pain, a burning searing pain in her left hand.

It felt just like in her dream when she grasped the shiny object. The only difference was there was less blood. She looked down at her hand to see it freshly bandaged with gauze and tape. _How did I get here? Where am I? _

Her questions were soon answered when she heard a voice ring next to her.

“Rey!” Rose beamed. “You’re awake!” The young girl jumped to Rey’s side and placed her hand on her shoulder. “You’re okay now.”

She stared dumbly at Rose until her voice creaked, “Where am I?”

Rose scoffed, “Rey you’re at the hospital clinic. My father just fixed you up.”

“What?”

“You, you passed out and we called my father. He said you probably lost too much blood and so we brought you here. My sister put the IV in you while my father put stitches on your wound.” She sounded panicked as she gave a recollection of the past events.

This information was too much for Rey. She was about to open her mouth in alarm when Mr. Tico and Paige walked in the large hospital room along with Ben Solo trailing behind them. He stayed back not coming close like the others.

Mr. Tico was wearing a long white coat and Paige was wearing a white nurse’s dress. They both looked the part and Rey’s heart rate began to pace rapidly as she realized just where she was and why.

“Rey dear, you’re finally awake,” beamed Mr. Tico. There was a satisfaction to his voice that made him sound relieved.

Rey was about to open her mouth again when she noted Ben Solo standing behind the Ticos and staring at her. She couldn’t read his expression and he looked like a horror piece.

His white shirt was covered almost completely in blood and there was blood on his hands too. There were blood hand mark stains all over his shirt. Rey’s mouth slammed shut in horror as she realized the blood must have been hers?

“Rey,” Mr. Tico began. He noted the horror written across her face and instantly tried to reassure her. “It’s alright dear, you sliced your hand open pretty deep but everything is alright now. See.” He pointed to the vile of blood hanging on her IV pole. “All you need to do is finish this off and you’re free to go.”

“No," she whispered to herself, not sure if the others heard.

“Hmm?” Mr. Tico asked.

“NO,” Rey’s voice boomed louder and she couldn’t hide the panic in it. A flash flood of memories instantly flooded her brain and she recollected the events step by step that brought her here. In the end all her brain could process was anger.

Anger, all she felt was anger. Anger at the people around but mostly anger at herself.

“I need to leave," her voice rang solemn and deep. She instantly sat up in bed and reached to yank out her IV.

Everyone in the room gasped except Ben Solo.

“Rey!” Paige yelped.

“Rey what are you doing!?” Rose’s voice chimmed in. She put her hand over Rey’s to stop her from pulling out her IV.

“Rey,” Mr. Tico finally interjected in a stern voice, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You need to stay put.” 

“I’m leaving,” she gritted out.

“What? But why?” Rose cried out.

“I don’t need this! I don’t need any of this. Just let me go home.” She jumped up again before Paige stopped her.

“No," she said in a stern voice. “You lost too much blood, you needed to see a doctor. My father fixed you all up but you can’t leave until your transfusion is complete.”

Rey began to hyperventilate, “No, I need to leave now, I can’t stay here any longer.” Her anger was rising and rising quickly. She shouldn’t be here, she shouldn’t be in a hospital bed.

“Listen Rey.” Mr. Tico came closer. “It’s all right there is no need to be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid!” She roared. “I’m...I’m...JUST LET ME GO HOME!”

She jumped up again to leave until both Tico sisters stopped her.

“No!” Rose boomed.

She began to hyperventilate faster, “Please just let me go home. I can’t be here, I shouldn’t be here!”

“But?” Mr. Tico protested again.

“No!” She cried out again. “I, I…I can’t afford this! I can’t afford stitches, I can’t afford blood...I, I can’t afford a hospital bill!”

The room fell silent and all that could be heard was the blood dripping from her bag. The next thing Rey knew there were tears on the verge of bursting down her face. She tried to contain them but she figured if they fell, they would understand her reasoning and let her leave.

After a few tense silent moments, Mr. Tico cleared his throat, “Rey. This could have potentially become a life or death situation. You lost a lot of blood. Your heath is more important than worrying about…expenses. Please just sit and finish the bag, you’re almost done.”

“I can’t," she looked down with tears practically about to burst. “I can’t survive like this. I can’t survive school, work, my life, nothing with this.” She lifted her injured hand slightly.

“Don't worry we’ll be here to help. You don’t need to worry yourself so much,” Rose gave her a reassuring pat on the back.

However, Rey’s mind swam. She thought about how in the world she was going to survive with such an injury. How was she going to work! Plutt was going to kill her, that much she knew. And now, she’ll have this hospital bill. There’s no way she’ll be able to afford food or life necessities for the next few weeks. Not with the financial crisis she was already in.

Without warning she burst into tears and sobs wracked through her body. Rose instantly laid a gentle arm around her back while Paige gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. The sobs didn’t stop but neither did the comforting gestures from the Tico sisters.

Paige bent over and leveled herself with Rey.

“Rey.” Paige attempted to pull her from her sobs and it slightly worked. She lifted her head and faced Paige. “Sometimes dark moments seem overwhelming, but we have to move forward to get out of them. Your hand will heal and then everything will be back to normal. These things just take time.”

“She’s right,” Mr. Tico interjected. “Sometimes you just have to let life happen and heal from these moments that life throws at us. Within a few weeks, your hand should be fully functional and all this will seem but a dream.”

Rey wished with all her might and power that this was a dream and that her reality was climbing that warehouse to reach the shiny object. She sniffled and tried to clear her face. Despite the anger she felt at everyone in the room, she couldn’t deny that they were only trying to help her. Maybe she should just let life be and not attempt to direct her daily life which was mostly focused on cunning survival. Her mind began to cool down and she felt her heartrate even.

After a few moment’s she cleared her throat, “I, I can’t thank you all enough for saving me. Especially from myself, after all, this was my fault anyway.”

“It wasn’t your fault Rey,” Mr. Tico interjected. “I’ve seen many accidents similar to yours and seen how quickly they can recover. You will come through this."

She tried to smile at the group before her when her eyes instantly snagged Ben Solo’s face in the back. The way he stared at her made her mind swirl. His gaze was intently on her and she saw something akin to concern written on his face. She looked away, his stare was too intense and seeing her blood all over him made her feel queasy. She wondered if it must have been Ben’s arms that she had been surrounded in when she had passed out…the stains on his shirt were confirming it.

Rey cleared her throat, “I know you’re all trying to reassure me...but I really can’t afford this visit."

“Do not worry,” noted Mr. Tico with a soft smile on his face. “I’m sure we can figure something out. Once your foster father arrives right now, we can work out the details.”

The room instantly grew cold and Rey felt the moment her heart stopped.

“My…what?” she choked out.

“Your foster father Rey. You are a minor, I’m required to contact your legal guardian regarding your presence in the hospital.”

She felt the room spin all over again just like before she passed out. The only difference was it wasn’t dizziness that made the room spin it was _terror_. Her hand started gradually shaking and she thought she would start convulsing. “_He knows, he knows I’m here_,” Rey thought in horror to herself.

She didn’t even notice that Mr. Tico had moved away to speak and assess Ben Solo in the back. She heard their murmurs but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“I must go.” She practically whispered to herself. _Run, you must run now. _She grabbed the blood vile from off the IV pole.

“But!" Paige started before Rey cut her off.

“No, I need to leave now. I’ll take the vile with me, I’ll finish the transfusion at home. Please I need to leave.” She sat up for real this time and placed her feet on the ground to which she felt a rush of blood flow to her lower body. She was about to stand and run for the door when she heard the demon’s voice boom down the hall. Her breath hitched and before she knew it, Unkar Plutt had busted through the door to her room.

“Where is she!” He roared.

All eyes snapped to him except Rey’s. She froze and kept her head down. Maybe if she didn’t see him or acknowledge him, she could pretend he wasn’t there. She could pretend this was all a dream. Pretend that she didn’t hear the venom in his voice nor smell the alcohol that was practically reeking off him the second the door flew open. She knew he probably looked and smelled like a drunken mess. And she also knew that her life would probably be over after this...

Mr. Tico left his conversation with Ben Solo and approached Unkar Plutt. He cleared his throat and began, “Mr. Plutt, Hello. My name is Dr. Tico.” His voice was more friendly then Rey thought Plutt would ever deserve. “You must be Rey’s guardian.” He stuck out his hand for Plutt to shake.

Instead of returning the kind doctor’s gesture, he scoffed, “Listen Doc, I don’t care about your fancy hospital you got here. Just give me the girl!” His voice was like venom and Rey could hear the snarl that was building up in him.

The doctor was taken by surprise and tried to regain his thoughts. He cleared his throat and started again, “Yes, well she is here and everything is fine and well. You see there was an accident at-”

Plutt cut him off, “Listen, I don’t care about the details. How soon can she go back to work, cuz I ain’t paying for any of this! Her arse better be back at work until she can pay all this off.”

His words had rung deep, she felt a tense silence fall on everyone in the room. Mr. Tico was attempting to maintain his composure but she could practically feel his anxiety spiking at the man across from him.

“Mr. Plutt,” he began sternly. “She should be well within a few weeks. Her hand needs to heal, it will require some time. I don’t see why she shouldn’t be able to return to work once she’s recovered.”

“A few weeks my arse, she’s going back tomorrow if she wants to pay for this garbage treatment. What a stupid girl! Can’t get anything right, she ain’t nothing but a waste of air. An extra mouth to feed that should be kicked out to the streets,” Plutt growled.

Rey heard both Paige and Rose’s breath hitch at his speech. Even Mr. Tico stared dumbly at Unkar Plut. It_ was over, all over_. Now that her friends knew the truth about her life, the truth about Plutt, they would throw her away… just like everyone else had.

Rey breathed heavily before jumping off the bed and pulling out her IV. Everyone looked at her in horror as blood started spilling from her IV site. She reached down, ripped off a piece of her wraps and tied it tight to stop the bleeding. Without looking or glancing at anyone she walked over to Plutt and gritted out, “We’re leaving.”

“Good,” he spat back menacingly in her face. “It takes a smart girl to know when to leave.” Plutt then yanked her by the elbow and dragged her towards the exit. She tried her best not to wince at his tight grasp on her arm as he pulled. She heard the silent protests of Paige and Rose until their father spoke up.

“Mr. Plutt,” he started, “You cannot just leave with her in this condition.” He didn’t hide the irritation in his voice. “If you chose to take her, she will not have completed the transfusion process!”

Plutt mocked him. “Hah! Transfusion process, did you hear that girl, the doc doesn’t want you to leave but guess what, were leaving!”

Rey kept her head down. She did not dare look at the faces in the room. For some reason though, she did look towards the back of the room where Ben Solo was. She didn’t look at his face, afraid of what she might see.

However, she did see his bloodied hands and they were shaking. He was clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly. Almost as if he were a monster…caged behind a cell.

She was thrown out of her gaze when she heard Mr. Tico protest once more. “If you chose to take her then you need to sign these forms!”

Plutt leveled his gaze with him and spit out, “I ain’t signing your stupid papers you quack.” With that he turned and yanked Rey with him out of the room.

In the parking lot Plutt had practically shoved Rey into the truck. She didn’t look at him, not once as he entered the driver’s side and started the car. The whole car ride was silent, neither one of them speaking except Plutt muttering under his breath.

When they reached the doorstep to their house however, he had slapped her. After her initial reaction, she instantly ran inside and bolted to her room.

“Hey, we aren’t done here!” He roared.

Rey slammed her door shut with all the anger in the world that was left in her. She didn’t stop the tears this time from falling. All she could do was crawl on her bed and yank out her notebook. Grateful that she had injured her left hand and not her right, she scribbled one more tally mark in her notebook.

After her tears stopped, her sorrow was replaced by anger. Her hands wouldn’t stop clenching…just like Ben Solo’s had back at the hospital.

***

Rey skipped school the next day. In fact, she felt like skipping school forever. How was she supposed to face her friends after the events that transpired yesterday. How could she look Rose or Poe or even Ben Solo in the face after what they witnessed. She had no doubt that Fin and Poe would find out from Ben about what happened. She remembers seeing them waiting outside the hospital when Plutt drove off with her.

“_Everyone knows”, _Rey thought to herself. She knew her friends would never look at her the same. They would judge her, treat her like an outcast. Think she was trash and garbage. She was so embarrassed by Plutt and the fact that her new friends knew how he treated her. Her first real friends and they were going to throw her away….

She had stayed home during the day and decided to “leave for work” as she walked out the door later in the afternoon in front of Plutt. She told him she would skip school but that she would not skip work.

And so, like the cunning scavenger that she is, she pretended to go to work. There was no way in hell that she could go to the factory. Not with her hand like this. The wound still burned and she still felt a little dizzy from her blood loss.

Since she was ditching work, she needed to hang out someplace for at least an hour or two. She didn’t want to go to Maz’s. She knew all her friends would eventually be there and she didn’t want to face them. She went to the only place she knew would bring her comfort...the beautiful park on Chandrila street.

Rey sat at the same bench she did last time she was here when she met BB8. She’s not sure what compelled her to sit there but she did anyway. An hour later once she had sat and cleared her mind she was about to get up and leave when she heard a bark from a far distance.

To her surprise she saw an orange and white fur ball sniffing around the grass. Within minutes the curious orange fur ball lifted its head and looked straight at Rey. She then knew that it had to be BB8 because within seconds he was running towards her.

She laughed breathlessly and bent down on her knees to greet him which had been a terrible mistake. As BB got closer she realized just how fast he was running. He jumped on her and knocked her down on her back. It hurt at first, especially her bandaged hand. But that didn’t stop the giggles from escaping her mouth as he assaulted her with kisses. “You missed me boy didn’t you.”

A small whine escaped the pups mouth and she had to gently shove him off so she could sit up. She continued to pet and rub BB8’s belly which earned her a wagging tail. “You’re a good boy aren’t cha,” Rey cooed at him.

She then looked around to see if he was with anyone. To her surprise no one had shown up.

  
“Did you get out again boy. Run away from home?” She pointed her index finger in BB’s face which resulted in the pup bending his head down. “You know it’s dangerous for you to be out here alone and lost. You could get taken away.” Rey stood up and gestured for BB to follow her when she started to walk around and look for the pup’s owner.

She recalled Ben Solo mentioning that he gets out often and that they have to chase him down. Maybe she could take him to the Solo Residence? Rey thought twice about that. She didn’t want to see anyone from yesterday. Maybe she could just leave BB with someone from the neighborhood, someone safe.

After wandering around for sometime, she heard a loud voice booming from across the huge park. She tried to follow the direction of the voice until she could find them. Eventually she crossed the little bridge over the creek and saw none other then Ben Solo looking around frantically. He had a deep crease to his brow and he was repeatedly running his hands through his hair. He looked frustrated, wild and most of all worried.

“BB!!” He boomed, “Where are you!”

The pup next to Rey whined and hid between her legs. “Oh no, you’ve got to own up to this one sir,” she scolded the poor pup until he walked out between her legs and walked towards the direction of Ben. She felt bad, but she knew the pup needed to learn his lesson too.

BB8 barked to reveal himself and she saw the moment Ben eye’s snapped to the pup.

“BB!” He roared again as he stomped his way towards the pup. BB jumped and ran to hide between Rey’s legs again.

“BB!” she protested.

Ben stopped short when he realized whose legs the pup was hiding between. “Rey,” he breathed out.

She stood silently with her head down. Too ashamed to look at Ben in the face. The events from yesterday started to surface in her mind. She cleared her throat and began timidly, “I um, I found BB8. He was snooping around the park but he’s ok.”

“Oh- yeah thanks," he blurted out without thinking. Rey looked up and faced him. His eyes were fixed on her intently. He seemed lost and distracted like he didn’t know what to say.

She figured it was about yesterday and the events that transpired. An awkward silence fell over them and neither one of them knew what to say.

After a short amount of time Rey finally gathered the courage to address the elephant in the room head on. Not caring what Ben Solo thought about her or what he didn’t think. _“Might as well face the demons now,” she _thought to herself.

“Was it you?” Rey asked suddenly.

“What?” Ben spoke as he was broken out of the awkward trance.

“Were you the one who caught me when I passed out?” She didn’t hide the irritation from her voice.

He cleared his throat, “Yes, I was.” His voice was deep and more hesitant then she had ever heard it.

She then looked up and saw the soft look on Ben Solo’s face. It perplexed her. “Oh, well I guess I should be thanking you. I mean, I could’ve hit my head and things could’ve been a lot worse.” She rushed through her words unable to look away from him.

“You don’t need to thank me.” The words came out harder than intended to by Ben.

She swallowed and continued on, “I guess I owe you a new shirt. I’m sorry that I ruined it. I can get you a new one. I can buy it and pay you back as payment.”

His breath hitched, “I highly doubt you could afford to pay me back with a shirt.” The way he said those words made him flinch. It wasn’t intended to come out the way it did but the damage was done.

Rey’s face turned red, “What’s that supposed to mean? You think I can’t afford to pay you back?”

“No, that’s not what I meant-“

“What you think I’m too poor. Well guess what I am. But that doesn’t mean I won’t eventually pay you back. I’ll work hard if I have to. I don’t owe any debts to no one! No matter the price I’ll pay it. So if you want a stupid shirt-”

“Rey please-”

“No, I know what you really think of me Ben Solo. You think I’m a scavenger, a piece of trash that the wind blew in! Well guess what, I don’t care what you think of me. I’m going to pay you back for your stupid shirt if it’s the last thing I do!” With that she turned to leave and stomped away from him. Her anger flaring in the air.

“Rey please stop!” Ben jumped in front of her and held up his hands. “You’re right, I did say those things when I shouldn’t have.”

She bore daggers into his eyes. He still wasn’t apologizing…he’s just admitting he shouldn’t have said those things.

Ben sighed and cleared his throat, “Can we just…start over?”

“Start what over?” She spat at him.

“Start over as in forget the past.”

“Forget the past. What’s with you and forgetting the past,” she snorted and turned to walk away from him while rolling her eyes.

“Wait- please stop.” He ran in front of her again. “I mean let’s forget the things I said and start over.”

“Fine!” Rey roared, “If I do will you leave me alone.”

Ben flinched but nodded his head, doing his best to hide the subtle hurt on his face.

“Good, since we cleared that out of the way, I suggest you take BB8 before he escapes again.” She started to walk away again when she noticed BB following her.

“I think he wants to walk you home.” Ben commented quietly.

BB looked up at Rey and licked her hand. She reluctantly smiled at BB who whined and nudged her leg. She sighed and tried not to roll her eyes at Ben, “Alright boy, you can walk me out the park.” With that Rey turned and BB followed. Ben stayed close behind and didn’t speak much, much to her liking. 

It was Rey however who broke the silence, “You know, you guys should probably keep better track of him. He could get lost or hit by a car.”

Ben sighed, “We’ve tried but the mischievous little ball of fur keeps finding ways out. Although I’m sure it was Poe this time who forgot to lock the gate.”

She laughed to herself. She could imagine Poe doing something like that.

“How is…your hand?”

The question took Rey by surprise but she turned to face him to answer him. “It’s...ok I guess, it still burns and I don’t think I’ll be able to use it for a while.” There was a sadness to her voice and she wasn’t sure where it came from.

“Oh,” was all he could say until he continued, “Well at least you have Rose who can help you with schoolwork. And…we can all help you Rey.”

Was he trying to comfort her, give her false reassurance? She stared at him dumbly until she saw his eyes snap to her and she looked away.

They finally reached the gate’s entrance and Rey turned to say goodbye to BB8.

“You be a good boy please. No more prison breaks, you got that.” She petted his head and bent down so BB could give her a kiss on the cheek. She giggled and gave him one last pet. She cleared her throat as she stood up and looked at Ben, “Goodbye Ben.”

  
Rey turned to leave until she was stopped by his voice.

“Rey, if you need help with the assignments you missed I could…help you.”

She stared at him with wide eyes, surprised by his sudden offer of generosity. “Oh, thanks but I think Rose and Finn can help with that.”

“Right,” Ben breathed out.

Rey turned and walked away from him. Leaving him standing there with his eyes on her.  
  
Once at the end of the block, she turned back to see Ben and BB8 still there by the gate watching her leave. She snapped her head back immediately as a blush came rushing on her cheeks.

Well, I guess her and Ben Solo were starting over.

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are wondering about Ben's dialogue, the poor boy doesn't know how to say things. He's so awkward and I wanted to incorporate that. Thanks for reading. Next update will be sooner than this one. I'm also trying out mood boards to give you a visual for each chapter, hope they help!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey attends a poetry club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allrighty everyone, this was for me one of my favorite chapters to write. I hope you all enjoy it and feel free to comment on things you liked or didn't like. Thanks for reading!

CHAPTER 12

Rey returned to school after skipping the day after her accident. She couldn’t miss two days of school in a row. She also knew she needed to return despite the embarrassment and shame she still felt from the incident with Plutt. How was she supposed to face her friends especially Rose who had witnessed Plutt’s behavior first hand. As Rey was walking up to the schoolyard, she noticed Rose sitting on the stairs bouncing. She looked like an anxious rabbit and her curls were bouncing with her head.

She looked so anxious and worried that the moment she saw Rey she jumped up. “Rey!” She ran as fast as she could until she approached her and flung her short arms around her. “Rey! Rey! I’m so glad you’re ok!” Her voice quivered and Rey didn’t know what to do but to awkwardly lift her good hand to hug her back.

Rose eventually broke the embrace and put her head down. Rey could see that there were tears on her face. She felt numb and didn’t know what to say. It was Rose who broke the silence, “I’m, I’m so sorry.” She then looked up to face Rey with her tear-stricken face. “Rey, I, I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. I’m so sorry, this was all my fault. I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did. I was trying to help. I, I, we didn’t know what to do.” Her words were rushed and she sounded panicked. “You just passed out and there was blood everywhere. I did the only thing I knew to do and that was call my father. We were all scared Rey, we thought you bled out. We were just trying to help you.” A sob escaped Rose and more tears gushed down. “I thought we were doing the right thing but….but all we did was make things worse.”

“Stop,” Rey interjected, “You didn’t do the wrong thing Rose….none of you did…”

“But we forced you to stay when you wanted to leave. We didn’t listen to you.”

Rey sighed. Tears were starting to forge their way in, but she bit them back. “No…you were only trying to help me, it’s, it’s not your fault.”

“I feel guilty…if I would’ve known Rey…”

“Alright listen, yes it was bad and yes Plutt is the way he is. I can’t change anything. I can’t change the fact that things happened and I can’t change the fact that you witnessed it. I understand if, if….you don’t want to be around me anymore…” Rey’s voice broke. “I’m a poor scavenger with a monster for a guardian. So, it’s ok if you don’t want me anymore.” With that Rey turned to walk away.

“Rey!” Rose grabbed her arm to stop her. “What in the world are you talking about! I don’t want you to leave. We’re friends! Why wouldn’t I want to be around you anymore.”

Rey’s breath hitched. Rose then continued, “What, you think because of what happened that makes you not my friend? Rey, I stayed up the last two nights thinking about you and what happened. I begged my father repeatedly to do something. To snatch you away from Plutt and give you the treatment you needed for your hand. I begged him to do something Rey. I didn’t want to see you hurt. If I wasn’t your friend, why would I do those things! You are my friend Rey. Nothing has changed and you are the first real friend I’ve ever truly had. Please don’t run away.”

Tears slid softly down Rey’s face as she stared at Rose. _Is this what real friendship feels like? Having someone else worry and cry for you? Someone try to make a difference so you won’t suffer. _ Rey was about to sob but she instead jumped into Rose’s arms. “I’m so sorry Rose. I didn’t mean to doubt your friendship…it’s just really hard.”

Rose hugged her back. “I know,” she sniffed, “Maybe it’s time to start trusting people, if not at least me and Finn.”

Rey hugged her tighter until she heard a loud clap in front of them off to the side. “Thank you, finally someone said it.” Rey turned to see Finn standing on the top stair starring down at them. She let go of Rose and faced him.

“Finn?” Rey started.

“Hey peanut.” He walked down and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s ok, no one here is going to abandon you Rey.” There was something serious to Finn’s tone that made her tremble. He was saying it with a word of finality and purpose. He then whispered into her ear, “If I had been in the room while Plutt was there, I probably would have beat him with a chair.” Rey gasped and Finn let go of her. She could see from the corner of her eye that Rose was watching them, she obviously didn’t like Finn whispering into her ear. Rey noted how she looked away and put her head down. Perhaps Rey had some explaining to do later….

Rey cleared her throat, “I know, I’m sorry to the both of you. I shouldn’t have been angry for you guys wanting to help me. I guess I overreacted when I woke up and realized I was in a hospital bed.” Finn and Rose gave her a sympathetic look.

“Rey!” Another voice boomed from across the schoolyard. Rey turned to see Poe Dameron running silly towards her. When he reached her, he gave her a quick hug and started, “I’m glad you’re back. You really scared us, don’t ever do that again.” There was something kind and sweet to Poe’s tone that made her want to blush. He sounded so concerned, Poe was friendly as he was charming. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I had never seen so much blood in my life. I would’ve carried you out the diner if it weren’t for Ben hogging you,” he snorted.

“Wha?” Rey begun until the school bell rang loudly and everyone jumped as they realized it was time to start class.

“C’mon or were gona be late guys!” Poe beamed.

Rey did her best to clean her face as well as Rose. Rose tucked her arm with Rey’s and everyone headed towards the school stairs. Rey decided to let the past incident with Plutt be forgotten. If her friends didn’t care about Plutt and still wanted her she figured that was fine with her.

Attempting to change the tone and subject of the morning, Rey decided to make conversation about their assignment. “How’s the group project going?”

“Oh fine, the boys here need to catch up, but Ben seems to have everything in order. Poe wasn’t joking when he said Ben was good at this stuff.” Rose joked.

_“Ben”_…Rey thought, “_What a mystery that boy is_.”

Rey’s thoughts were broken when Rose proclaimed, “Oh and you might want to watch out for Mrs. Tano this morning.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked.

“Oh, she was livid for those who didn’t turn in the assignment on _The Great Gatsby_ yesterday.”

“That was due yesterday!?” Rey roared.

“Uh yeah Rey, she single-handedly called out all the students who didn’t turn it in yesterday or who weren’t there. You might be in big trouble.” Poe gleamed.

“_Ahh Choobies!_” Rey thought.

***

Rey sat quietly in class while Mrs. Tano was wrapping up lecture. She was bouncing her knee under the table, hoping Mrs. Tano would not bring up the missed assignment from yesterday. Luckily, she babbled on about the group projects that were due tomorrow and Rey hoped that would be a good distraction. As the school bell rang, Rey jumped up from her seat hoping to escape before she noticed. She made it to the doorway with her friends until she heard-

“Ms. Plutt!” Mrs. Tano hollered while everyone was leaving the class.

Rey froze where she stood while Finn, Rose and Poe starred at her through the doorway. They had sympathetic looks on their faces. Even Ben was standing behind them looking at her.

After a second it was Finn who spoke, “We’ll meet you at Mazs Rey? To finish the group project?”

Rey nodded her head as her friends slowly backed away from the fire zone.

“Sorry,” Rose mouthed as they turned to leave.

Rey sighed and turned to face her professor. Before she could open her mouth, Mrs. Tano beat her to it. “Ms. Plutt. Would you care to explain why your assignment on _The Great Gatsby_ was not tuned in yesterday, even though I gave everyone a grace period and allowed an extra week until it was due.” Her voice was stern and there was a hint of irritation. Rey knew she had some explaining to do especially since she gave everyone more time to complete it.

All she could do was lift her bandaged hand and wave it like a surrendering soldier. “I had an accident at work. I ended up in the hospital with stitches. It was too difficult to attend school yesterday.” Rey kept her voice low afraid of what her professor’s reaction might be.

Mrs. Tano sighed and a slight look of sympathy crossed her face, “Look, I can’t let you go free without making up for the assignment. You will have to do some extra-curricular work for me to compensate for your grade.”

Rey nodded and understood. At least she wasn’t yelling like a mad woman.

“This Saturday we have a poetry meeting and I would like you to attend.”

“A poetry meeting?”

“Yes, on every other Saturday I host a poetry club meeting with students who love poetry and writing. You are to attend this Saturday and then write me a two page paper about your experience. If you do not attend, you will receive an automatic zero for your assignment.”

Rey sighed but agreed to the request. “I will be there.”

“Good, 1pm the student’s lounge back room. Don’t be late!”

“Yes ma’am.” Rey nodded and dashed out of the classroom.

***

Rey sat with her friends at the diner while they waited for Poe and Ben to show up. They were working on their board pieces for the _Hamlet _presentation.

“So,” Finn started. “What’s the verdict with Mrs. ‘I love to torture my students’ Tano.”

Rose chuckled, “We thought she was going to yell at you Rey. You escaped her wrath yesterday.”

“Well, I didn’t get yelled at. She actually gave me a make-up assignment. Have to attend some stupid poetry club thingy.”

“Ahhh sounds like torture,” Finn snorted.

“Yeah but at least I didn’t fail the assignment….yet….”

***

Saturday came quick for Rey. She and her friends had aced their group presentation. Everyone spoke during the presentation except Rey and Ben. They figured Poe, Finn and Rose would be enough and between Finn and Poe there was more than enough jokes cracked during the presentation. Rey was surprised Mrs. Tano hadn’t thrown her chalk board eraser at the two boys when Poe joked about Hamlet bringing a fishing pole to pull Ophelia from the lake while Finn mocked played throwing a fishing pole and reeling it in. Other than that, Rey felt the presentation went well. They all went to Maz’s to celebrate after, even Ben went, even though he didn’t speak much…. Rey was surprised how he was starting to fit in with the group despite some palpable tension between him and Finn.

Rey sighed as she walked up the steps to Jedi High. She didn’t want to be at school on a Saturday. Why did it have to be Saturday. With a groan she entered the student lounge backroom and saw Mrs. Tano sitting in a circle with the other students. There were about 8 students sitting in the circle of chairs. As Rey walked closer to the circle, her eyes instantly flew to none other than Ben Solo sitting across from Mrs. Tano. When their eyes met, they instantly went wide. “_Ben? Here_?”

Mrs. Tano broke Rey’s surprise, “Ah! Hello Ms. Plutt. Welcome to our student poetry club. Please take a seat.”

Rey shook her head while clearing her throat, “Oh yeah of course.” Dumbly she walked to the seat across from Ben but didn’t make eye contact. “_Why was he here? Was he in trouble too for the assignment?” _Rey’s thoughts were running in circles as she sat across from him.

“Alright, I think everyone’s here! Shall we begin.” Mrs. Tano was about to get up to lock the door when someone came barging in.

“Wait! I’m here!” Everyone turned to see who the very lucky soul was who entered just before the doors were locked. It was none other than Bazine Netal or “Nettie” as she called herself. Rey sighed….she could not stand the girl.

To Rey’s surprise, Mrs. Tano didn’t yell at Nettie. “Ms. Netal please have a seat while I **lock** the doors.”

Nettie swallowed hard and timidly bowed her head as she walked towards the circle. There were two seats available, one next to her and the other next to Ben. Nettie eyed the two seats until her eyes lit up at the seat next to Ben. She sneered at Rey as she passed her and jumped happily in the seat next to Ben. For some reason she seemed awfully cheery sitting next to him. She crossed her legs and leaned towards Ben and smiled prettily up at him. “Hey Solo,” She offered him a greeting.

Ben turned towards her and gave her a curt nod. Nettie was obviously not happy with his response towards her and she straightened her back. Rey found the whole scene foolish.

“Alright everyone. Today we will be reading poems aloud for everyone to hear and then discuss them. For those of you who are new or are here to make up for an assignment, you will listen and follow along. Let’s begin with reading the poems we picked from last week. Who want’s to go first?” Mrs. Tano was so passionate about poetry that she practically lived it.

After a few students read poems, Mrs. Tano spoke up, “Ben, would you like to read your poem now?”

Rey’s eyes instantly flew to Ben’s. She saw hesitation in them along with something else she couldn’t comprehend. _So, Ben wasn’t here to make up for the assignment_, _he was actually a part of the group. _Rey tried to mull over this information. She concluded that Poe was not joking one bit about Ben’s adoration for poetry.

Ben glanced at Rey and then cleared his throat while looking away, “Sure. This piece is called _Are you the new person drawn toward me?_” Rey noted how he fidgeted with his paper as he began reading the poem.

“_Are you the new person drawn toward me?_

_To begin with, take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;_

_Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?_

_Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?_

_Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction?_

_Do you think I am trusty and faithful?_

_Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me?_

_Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?_

_Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?”_

Rey stared at Ben in wonder as he spoke…… she had never heard such tantalizing words. There was something about the way he spoke that made Rey latch onto them. The way his deep voice carried each word, the way his facial muscles ticked when finishing lines, the way his jaw moved, the slight tremble of his voice during certain phrases all had Rey starring at him in awe. His voice was so soothing almost as if it was a comforting embrace. Rey’s thoughts flew to when Ben had caught her before she passed out and how warm she had felt in his arms. 

The room fell silent after he finished reading. It was almost sacred and Rey had felt every word that he had spoken. For the life of her, she could not take her eyes off of him.

“AHH!,” Mrs. Tano broke the silence while Rey jumped out of her trance. “None other than Mr. Whitman. The man of realism and irony. That was wonderful Ben thank you.”

Ben nodded and tucked his paper away. Rey cleared her throat and tried to think of something else besides the poem. She looked next to Ben at Nettie who was practically drooling in her seat. She kept starring at Ben with a look of astonishment and repeatedly batted her caked eyelashes at him. Rey snorted to herself. _Wasn’t this the same girl who was terrified of him a few weeks ago back at the diner._

The session was finally wrapping up when all the students had finished reading their poems. Mrs. Tano was dismissing everyone when she announced, “Ms. Plutt and Ms. Netal, I expect a two page paper on my desk Monday morning if you want to pass the assignment.”

Both girls nodded in agreement. Rey then stood up to leave when she heard someone’s bag fall. She turned to see the scene before her.

“Ops! I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy.” Nettie announced as her bag went down with her belongings scattered across the floor. She was still sitting next to Ben. “I’m such a klutz.” She grabbed onto his arm and turned her pretty lashes on him. “Oh! Will you help me Ben.” She sounded like the perfect damsel in distress. Ben moved his arm from her grasp and bent down to help pick up her belongings. Nettie then bent down with him and made sure to bend over extra so her perfectly tight sweater would fall open.

Rey had to roll her eyes at the scene before her. _She had the nerve to call me trash when she herself is trash!_ Rey tried to control her thoughts and had no idea where that had come from. It was none of her business what Nettie did and if Ben liked the attention. It means nothing to her. Ben means nothing to her.

After picking up her belongings, Nettie gave Ben the biggest thank you speech before walking away with her hips swaying like a swing in a schoolyard. Rey scoffed when Nettie glared at her as she passed.

Rey’s attention was thwarted when she noted Ben talking to Mrs. Tano. “That was wonderful Ben, I can’t wait to hear what poem you read next week. Keep up the good work. I’m sure your writing will reach more ears one day.”

“Thank you professor Tano.” With that Ben turned to leave but not without waving goodbye to Rey. Rey was shocked by the gesture since he had hardly acknowledged her during the session. She waved back and Ben gave her a small nod.

Rey walked over to Mrs. Tano, “I’ll have the paper ready by Monday I promise.”

“Good, because your grade is counting on it.”

“Right.”

“Did you like the session today Ms. Plutt?”

“Yes, I did actually.”

“You’ll find there’s more to poetry than meets the eye. Poetry is a form of self-expression. It allows us to share our feelings without fear of retaliation.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when I write my paper.”

“Hmph, just take a look around. You’ll find poetry written by various people from here.” Mrs. Tano pointed to the wall filled with papers. There were over a hundred poems stuck to the wall and each one was signed by different authors.

“What is this?”

“It’s a poetry wall. Some students hang their poetry here on the wall for others to see.”

Rey’s eyes skimmed the various poems hung on the wall. She stopped once she noted one that was not written in English. It was beautiful, the writing was just beautiful. Rey stared in awe at the piece.

“Ahh, yes that’s one of my favorites. It’s one of the best calligraphy pieces I’ve ever seen. It was just recently written.” Mrs. Tano starred at the piece like it was a golden medal.

“It’s so, so beautiful the writing. But what language is it in?”

“That would be Latin.”

“And the person who signed it is?”

“Anonymous. Some authors like to create pen names to keep their identity hidden. Do you want to know a secret about this piece though? Just flip the paper and it’s written in English on the other side.”

Rey stared at Mrs. Tano like she was joking.

“Alright Ms. Plutt, I’ll be heading out. You got another 20 minutes before the janitor locks up, so I suggest you head out soon.” With that Mrs. Tano turned, gathered her belongings and excited the room.

Rey stared at the piece of poetry before her. _Who in the world still writes in Latin? _Rey concluded that she must read the other side. She had to know what it said. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for the thumbtack and removed the paper from the wall. As she eyed the other side, she noted that the calligraphy was even more beautiful in English. She read the following poem:

** _From the very moment my eyes thus laid upon you, you captured my eyes, and then my eyes captured my mind, and then my mind captured my heart, and then my heart captured my soul. And I knew from that moment onward that I would thus go across the universe with you._ **

** _Kylo Ren_ **

END CHAPTER 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who recognized the first poem, it's by Walt Whitman. I liked his work when I was in high school and found this poem to be very Reylo in a way. As for the second poem....I made it up. Thanks guys for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives a gift and makes a great sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Following my disappointment with TROS, there will be some elements from TROS that will sneak it's way into this story but not many. For those of you who are wondering where this story is going, think of of it as a Notebook AU but with more twist and turns. I'm a slow-burn kind of gal but I promise it's leading somewhere. Thanks!

Chapter 13

December had approached quickly in Naboo. Snow had fallen and the temperature had plummeted greatly much to Rey’s dismay. She was not used to this freezing cold temperature. Gratefully she had ended up accepting snow boots from Jannah during Thanksgiving dinner. She felt a deep sense of embarrassment to accept the gift and initially refused. Finn later stuck them in her bag when she wasn’t looking and told her to stop being stubborn. Rey was going to fight Finn until she tried the boots on and they fit perfectly.

Rey had spent her very first Thanksgiving with the Calrissians and found the holiday quite exciting. She had never celebrated before and didn’t even know what it was until Finn explained it. There’s apparently lots of food and drinks and deserts and Rey found out that she really likes Thanksgiving a lot. Her belly could not contain such an amount of food and she almost went into a food coma. She never ate so much in her life, her poor bloated belly almost made her wince.

School was moving along steady and everyone was excited for the eventual winter break.

Every night Rey would keep up with the events overseas. Apparently, England wasn’t the only country suffering from the German advances. Rey started to have nightmares about the war and her parents...it was always the same dream over and over again. Her parents would be taken away in a German airship as she screamed towards the sky for them to come back. It kept her up most nights.

She had returned to work two weeks after her hand injury. During the two weeks she had no choice but to lie to Plutt and told him she was going to work while she was really not. 

A couple of times to kill time she had gone to the park on Chandrila street. She loved walking over the creek and watching the orange leaves fall from the trees. It was peaceful and relaxing. An escape from her harsh reality back home.

BB8 liked Rey so much that he would escape whenever she was at the park to see her. It was like he knew her scent the moment she would set foot. Rey hadn’t mind though, although she knew it was causing her friends distress.

Due to her skipping work, she had less money for herself. She hadn’t received her hospital bill yet and her funds were almost completely depleted. She had to pull from her extra hidden stash just to pay Plutt for the two weeks she had pretended to work. It left her with no money to buy a coat suitable for the winter weather. She started to freeze greatly but refused her friend’s offers to help her get one. She knew she was being stubborn but she liked being self-sufficient. She assured her friends that she could get her own coat.

Today Rey was going to the hospital clinic to inquire about her hospital bill from her injury. She was becoming paranoid and didn’t want to owe any debts. Debts were a form of imprisonment to her.

She trudged through the deep freshly laid snow and tightened her new coat around her. Last week, she had obtained a winter coat. It was a beautiful coat and she had fallen in love the moment she saw it. Rey continued to fight trough the snow as she recalled the events that had led to her obtaining the coat:

(_Last Week_)

It was freezing ouside, ice like weather plaguing the town as Rey escaped the house from Plutt. He was in a fowl mood and Rey didn’t feel like dealing with him. She had escaped to her favorite place, the park on Chandrila street. The wind had picked up and she was walking in the snow with just her dress and arm wraps. It was so cold that she had started to shiver. It didn’t matter though, anything was better than being in the same house as Plutt.

As she was sitting on her favorite bench, her body started to freeze. Her fingers numb and chest heavy. It felt like there was a weight there. The cold felt like heavy weights pounding on her body. Rey wondered to herself if this was what it felt like to freeze to death. Her eyes started to drift off and the cold pain in her bones felt like an open embrace to death. She had no idea why her mind had wondered off to that place. That place of just letting the cold take you. It could have been because she always felt that way. Being alone always felt so cold……

Frozen tears were on the verge of falling as she lied down on the bench. But that’s when she saw it. BB8 was running and jumping through the snow towards her. He was dipping in and out of snow piles and Rey could only see his head jumping up and down out of view. She was so cold that she couldn’t sit up to greet the fluffy pup. BB reached her and jumped up on the bench and started licking her face. Cold giggles started to escape her and she sat up.

“What are you doing out here boy?” Rey’s voice was but a whisper from the cold. She looked up and noticed a brown cloth wrapped around BB’s back. “What’s this?” She eyed the brown cloth and realized it was wrapped around something. The wrap was big and it looked bulky. “They got you carrying and hauling around stuff like a delivery boy!” BB whined and barked in response. “I’ll have to talk to Poe about putting stuff on your back like some courier.” She felt bad that BB was hauling something heavy on his back and reached to remove it when she saw a small paper tucked in the wrap. She pulled it out and read the following words: **_From BB8_**

Rey was confused and removed the wrap. The handwriting on the note had looked familiar. She had seen it before, not too long ago, the penmanship was beautiful. As she removed the wrap and untied the strings holding it together, laid before her was a folded trench coat. It was tan and had fur outlining the entire collar. Rey gasped as she removed the coat and held it up. It was long, just past her knees and it was elegant. It was the most feminine and refined coat she had ever seen. It looked expensive, something Rey could never afford to wear, even if she saved up for weeks.

Rey looked down at BB who was panting and looking up at her, almost as if he was waiting for her to put it on. She swallowed, “Who put you up to this huh? Who made you bring me this coat?” BB barked and nudged Rey as he waited for her to try it on. A thousand emotions had flooded her and if it wasn’t for the cold, she was sure she would have marched up to whoever had done this to BB and demand for them never to do it again.

She could take care of herself! She didn’t need others feeling sorry for her. She was about to get angry until her body had acted on its own accord and she slipped her right arm through the coat’s sleeve. Without thinking, she slipped on the other sleeve and stood up to having the coat fall just right around her body. It was warm, the coat fit her perfectly. Almost as if it was made for her, just her.

“Who did this BB? Who put you up to this?” Rey’s voice broke at the end. She felt like crying, no tears had fallen yet she felt the same. Her emotions changed to anger, not at anger to whoever did this, but anger at herself. She was angry because there was no way should could ever give up this coat. She wanted to be selfish and keep it. The scavenger in her wanted to keep it hostage. Her mind was betraying what her body wanted and her body was telling her to never take the coat off.

It had fit her just right and felt like home even though she didn’t know what home was. There was a certain scent to it, it smelt like a woman’s perfume. The scent was lovely. Rey overall concluded that she couldn’t keep it, it wasn’t hers to take. With pure reluctance she removed the coat and tried to wrap it back on BB’s back until he took off running.

“BB!” She tried chasing him but to no avail. He disappeared into the bushes never to be seen again. With frustration the cold had gotten to her and she shoved the coat back on. “I’m returning this coat tomorrow, there’s only one of two people who could have done this!” Rey boomed at the bushes where BB had disappeared. Looking like a madwoman yelling at thin air.

The next day Rey had marched towards the school stairs ready to confront either Ben or Poe. They were the only ones who could have put BB up to this. She didn’t want to keep the coat, it wasn’t right. Nothing in life was ever given, you had to earn it. That was Rey’s motto for survival.

As Rey got closer, she saw Ben Solo standing at the bottom of the stairs to the school entrance with none other than Nettie standing across from him. For some reason something flickered inside her. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like fire? As Rey approached them, she saw Nettie turn her attention towards her.

“Oh look, the street scavenger has graced us with her presence,” Nettie sneered. “And she’s got a new coat. Did you steal that nice coat Rey, not very lady like of you.”

Rey flinched and realized she had forgotten to take off the coat to give it back as originally planned. She was so caught up with her initial anger that she had completely forgotten to remove the coat.

Rey put her head down, “I, I didn’t steal it.”

“Hmph sure, a scavenger like you could never afford a piece of clothing like that.” Nettie cooed as she rolled her eyes and walked away.

Rey kept her head down as Nettie left. So much for returning the coat with much valor. At this point she would look pathetic taking it off and giving it back.

“Rey,” Ben’s voice made her head snap up.

She cut him off before he continued, “Did you put BB8 up to this? Did you make him bring me this coat?”

Ben swallowed as Rey gestured to the piece of clothing she was wearing and looked away. Rey could have sworn she saw his cheeks start to redden.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

“No, it was BB8.”

“Ben really, this was all BB8’s idea.” Rey didn’t hide the sarcasm from her voice.

“I,…it’s not from me.”

“Stop playing games Ben! I can’t accept this. It’s too nice of a coat, I could never afford this.” Rey started to remove the coat when Ben stopped her.

“Rey please! Nothing was spent on the coat. …..It was my mothers.”

Rey looked up at him in shock. “You’re what?”

Ben sighed, “It’s my mother’s old coat. She was going to get rid of it and I…I thought you would like it better.” His voice trembled and he started to fidget with his hands in his pockets.

Rey’s mind swirled. “This is old? This is practically new!” She looked down at the coat like it was a pile of gold.

“She only wore it a few times, it probably still smells like her….I’m sorry.”

Rey leaned in and smelt the coat. So, this was the scent of Mayor Organa. Rey felt a sense of awe wearing the coat now. It felt and smelt like it belonged to a woman of power. It made her want to keep the coat even more. Rey sighed internally, she still couldn’t do that.

“Ben, I still can’t accept this.”

“Consider it a gift from BB8, not anyone else.”

Rey peeked up at Ben. She could see something in his eyes in the way he looked at her. It almost seemed like something akin to compassion. The school bell rang and both of them jumped.

Ben cleared his throat, “I guess we should head inside.”

“Yeah, I guess. Ben…….tell BB8 I said…. thanks.” Her voice sounded so timid and she didn’t know where her courage had gone off to.

“I think you should thank him yourself.”

With that Rey smiled as she followed him up the school stairs.

(_Today)_

Rey entered the hospital clinic trudging in from the cold. She walked up to the receptionist and inquired about her visit from not too long ago. Rey waited patiently as the receptionist pulled up her file.

“Ahh, ok so Ms. Plutt, you were here for your hand laceration and were treated by Dr. Tico.”

“Yes, that was me.”

“Ok, so our records are showing that you owe nothing for your visit.”

“What?!” Rey gasped.

“Yes, it would appear your medical bill is covered.”

“But, but by what. I don’t have anything!”

“All I can tell you Ms. Plutt was that your bill was anonymously covered by a donor.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means you owe us nothing.”

Rey started hyperventilating. “Are you sure?”

“Ms. Plutt, unless you would like to owe us money, I suggest you go about your day.”

Rey nodded, “Right, I’m sorry, I’m just shocked. May I ask who the donor was?”

“Sorry Ms. Plutt, that’s confidential.”

Rey turned and walked out of the clinic. She could not help the wide smile that spread across her frozen cheeks. She wouldn’t be owing any debts today.

***

Rey was walking with Rose at school the next day when the following conversation started,

“Rey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“You can be honest with me ok. Please promise you’ll be honest with me!” She tugged Rey’s arm until she turned to face her.

“Ok, I promise I will. What is it?”

“I promise this won’t change anything. I won’t be angry or mad. I can learn to live with it if it’s true.”

“If what’s true Rose?”

Rose hesitated but then continued, “Do you, do you have feelings for Finn?”

Rey immediately stopped walking and starred at Rose with wide eyes. “Rose…it’s not like that with Finn. Why would you think that?”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you Rey and the way the two of you are around each other.”

“Rose,” Rey began, “Finn and I _are_ more than friends. We, we’re like siblings. He’s like the older brother I never had. We just come from similar lives that’s all. We, we can share a lot in common. But, but that doesn’t mean I have feelings for him. I don’t feel that way about Finn.”

“But does he feel that way about you?”

“No, I don’t think he does. It’s not like that between us Rose I promise.”

Rose put her head down like she was thinking about it and Rey had hoped that her words were taking effect.

“I’m sorry I questioned you. I should’ve known better, but I just can’t control myself. I want Finn to know how I feel but I’m afraid.” Rose’s small voice made Rey want to hug her.

“Rose, I have noticed some tension between the two of you. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just don’t know! Maybe he knows that I like him and that’s why he acts weird.”

“Why don’t you just tell him then?”

“I can’t do that Rey. Could you confront someone you like and tell them to their face?”

Rey thought about Rose’s words and if she could place herself in Rose’s shoes. She concluded that she couldn’t. She had never felt that way about anyone before and didn’t know what it was like to like someone. No one had ever liked her and she had never liked anyone. No boy ever looked twice at her….

“I’m afraid I don’t know Rose. I don’t know anything about liking someone.”

“You mean you’ve never liked a boy?”

“No, afraid not. I never really thought about it.” Embarrassment was quickly invading Rey’s thoughts.

“Oh, I’m sorry Rey. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“It’s ok, it’s not important. What is important is how you feel about Finn.” She smiled and gave Rose a reassuring nudge to her shoulder.

“Thanks Rey, now that that is cleared out of the way. I guess the real reason I’m telling you all this was because…..I’m thinking of asking Finn to the Winter Formal school dance. It’s the only dance where the girl gets a chance to ask the guy out and I thought maybe I could-..”

“Rose! That’s an excellent idea! You should ask Finn.”

Rose started laughing hysterically, “Yes Rey, that’s what I’m trying to say. Do you, do you think he would say yes?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Both girls continued on laughing and giggling as they gushed about ways that Rose could ask Finn to the dance. They even made fun of how Finn would react. Finn could be as clueless as he was oblivious to the feelings of girls around him. You would think having a sister would make him more aware but apparently not.

***

Later that week, everyone was sitting at the lunch table at school as usual. Finn and Poe were joking and taunting each other about who could beat who at arm wrestling and started multiple matches as Rey and Rose rolled their eyes. “_Boys”, _Rey thought.

Ben had also joined them and was officially eating lunch with them every day. After their group project a while back, Ben had somehow become a part of their group. It could have stemmed from pure appreciation of Ben’s hand in the group project which earned them all an A+ on the assignment. Either way he slowly steeled his way in. It bothered Rey a bit at first, but then she realized that he could be pretty harmless at best. He didn’t talk much, mostly kept to himself and only engaged in conversation when prompted to by either Poe or Rose. Rey concluded she would be civil with him. Afterall, they had agreed to start over.

“No!” Finn roared as Poe slammed his hand on the table.

“I win, best two out of three.” Poe gleamed.

“At this rate one of you is going to brake your hand or fingers.” Rose teased.

“Well that won’t be me today.” Poe winked at Rey and she stifled a giggle. Poe had been using his charm a lot on Rey recently. She didn’t really know what to think of it but she figured no harm could come of it.

“So,” Poe cleared his throat. “The Winter Formal dance is coming up soon. Are any of you ladies asking anyone to the dance.” Poe mischievously glanced at Finn and kicked his foot.

Finn responded by glaring back at him.

“Actually, I am.” Rose replied.

Rey turned to Rose with a surprised look. _“She wouldn’t ask right now in front of everyone would she?”_

“Oh?” Poe inquired with a conspiratory look written on his face. “And who were you thinking of asking?”

“Finn,” Rose began with confidence as she turned towards him, “Would you like to go to the dance with me?”

“_She would_,” Rey thought.

Finn starred at Rose in shock. “Me go to dance with you?” He repeated the words like he was starstruck in a caveman like fashion. Rey almost had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

An awkwardness fell upon the group and even Ben who was minding his own business had turned to the scene before him.

Rose started to panic. What if Finn didn’t want to go to the dance with her. Her confidence faltered, maybe she had just made a huge mistake.

Rey sensed Rose’s panic and felt the awkward tension rising. She didn’t know how else to save her friend and blurted the next words without thinking. “I think it would be a great idea Finn. You should definitely go. We could have lots of fun!”

“We?” Finn repeated.

Rey hadn’t realized she had said “we” and swallowed. She was trying to save her friend, yet she was starting to dig a bigger hole. “I mean yeah, you and Rose could have a great time.” Rey stuttered as her words came out all jumbled.

“And what about you Rey? You said ‘we’. Who are you asking to the dance?” Poe leaned in towards her with a big grin.

“I, that’s not what I meant. I-..”

After a long eternal beat of silence Poe continued, “I’ll tell you what. Me and Finn are a package deal. If Rose is asking Finn out, then you have to ask me out.”

“What? Me go to dance with you?” Now Rey was sounding like Finn.

“Yes darling. Me and Finn go with you and Rose. Or nothing.”

Rey’s heartbeat began to speed up. This was not supposed to go this way at all. She stared at Poe in panic. Rey had never been to a dance, she would only make a total fool of herself.

“I, I don’t know how to dance.” Rey stupidly blurted in her panic haze.

“Oh, c’mon Rey you can’t let that stop you from going.” Poe chided. “We could just go as a group of friends.”

Rey began to panic again. Rose gave her a sympathetic appreciative look. She knew Rey was only trying to help her. But if Rey didn’t want to go, she would understand.

“She doesn’t want to go with you.” A deep voice boomed from none other than Ben Solo who stared at Poe with a glint of irritation written on his face. The entire group had turned to him, shocked that he had even opened his mouth and joined the conversation.

“I think Rey can speak for herself.” Poe shot back. “So Rey _not_ Ben, what do you say?”

“I, I don’t know.” Rey looked down again.

“All you have to do is ask then we can all go.” Poe grinned.

“Poe,” Finn started sternly, “If Rey doesn’t want to go-”

“Poe will you go to the dance with me.” The words flew out of Rey’s mouth so fast she could hardly believe she said them. The whole table turned to Rey but she kept her head steady. She was never one to back away from a challenge.

Poe blinked a few times before responding, “Ye, yes. It’s a date then.”

The lunch bell then blared and everyone gathered their trays and stood to leave.

“Great, glad that’s settled.” Finn joked. He sounded relieved that this conversation had gotten conveniently interrupted. When he stood, he looked at Rose and winked which caused her to blush furiously. Maybe she had miscalculated Finn’s feeling after all. Maybe he did really want to go with her.

Rey had observed the exchange between the two and smiled to herself. The sacrifice she made had been great. She had no idea what she had just gotten herself into but the smile on Rose’s face must have been worth it. Even if she had officially asked Poe Dameron and potentially screwed up everything.

Rey turned to notice that Ben was no longer with them. She heard a large slam and turned to see him slamming his tray angrily on the rack while kicking the door so roughly with his foot that she was sure he had loosened the hinges. He looked so angry and besides that sad….

***

“Rey! I can’t believe we did that!” Rose laughed. She had the biggest smile on her face. “I can’t believe we both asked the boys out.” More giggles erupted from her and Rey could not help but smile despite thinking about the weight of her sacrifice. “I mean I didn’t expect them to say yes! I was prepared to go home and cry on my bed but boy had I been so wrong.” Fits of laughter started escaping her.

“I’m so happy for you Rose. I have no doubt that Finn wanted to say yes but he was too embarrassed. Maybe he hired Poe to help him, the way you hired me.”

“Oh Rey!” She gushed. “Thank you so much. I mean, I know what you did. You shouldn’t have sacrificed for me Rey. If you didn’t want to go with Poe, you should have said something.” A guilty look crossed Rose’s face.

Despite Rose’s correct assumption, Rey could not hold it against her. It was Rey’s choice to ask him. She had not only answered for herself, but also for Finn. If it meant Rose and Finn could go together, she would sacrifice anything.

Rey attempted to make Rose feel less guilty. “It’s alright Rose. It’s Poe we are talking about here, not some random senior. He said we could go as friends.”

“Rey, I don’t think he wants to go as ‘friends’….”

“What?! That’s what he said.”

“Rey, I think he likes you.”

END CHAPTER 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for the winter formal dance it's based off the Sadie Hawkins dance which started in the 1930's. It's the famous dance where the girls get to invite the boys. It's normally celebrated in November but I just pushed it to December hehe. Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Learns To Dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Everyone! I was really happy writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it. This a BenRey chapter with some Plutt towards the end. WARNING: the end with Plutt features some potential violence and I just wanted to give a heads up in case it causes any triggers. If you're uncomfortable skip the last section. I'm still trying to learn how to post mood boards before the chapter starts but I decided to paste a picture that helped inspire scenes in this chapter. It's not exactly how I pictured it but I hope it help gives you a picture of what I tried to convey.Thank you so much for reading.

Chapter 14

  
The following days Rey had spun Rose’s words over and over in her head. _Rey, I think he likes you._ Impossible! There was no way. Poe liked everyone, especially the girls who gave him attention. He was the charming star of the senior class and Rey had never taken him seriously. There were so many pretty and well-kept girls at Jedi High that made Rey look like a dirty mop. She laughed to herself as she thought about the idea of Poe liking her.

However, as the weeks went on, the dance was drawing nearer and Rey’s dread was only increasing. Poe had continually been overly friendly with her about the dance recently. And she feared Rose’s words were coming to haunt her.

Over the past couple of weeks, she had also run into Ben and BB in the park quite often. She found herself conversating with Ben despite some awkwardness. She always met BB at their bench and he was usually the buffer in her somewhat awkward conversations with his owner. 

The week of the dance had come and Rey was officially living in horror. First off, she had nothing to wear to the dance, second she had no idea how to prepare herself and thirdly she had no idea how to dance.

Rey was sitting at Maz’s diner alone when Rose walked in.

“Rey, what’s wrong?”

Rey attempted to jump out of her mopey trance, but it didn’t work. “Rose, I, I don’t think I can go to the dance.”

“What? But Rey it’s in three days! You can’t back out now.”

“I don’t have anything to wear.” She looked down. She couldn’t afford something nice to wear to the dance and she knew that.

“Rey, don’t worry about that. Me and you are getting makeovers by Paige!” She gushed.

“What?”

“Paige is giving us some of her dresses to pick from. She went to all the school dances when she was a senior and has a closet full of dresses. You don’t have to worry about that, I’ve got you covered.”

“But what about my hair and shoes and-”

“Rey, Paige will be taking care of all of that. She’s so excited. She can’t wait to get us ready, trust me it will be ok.” Rey wished she had the same enthusiasm as her friend. She was running out of excuses. Her horror started increasing.

“You worried about going to the dance with Poe, aren’t ya.” Rey turned to Rose who was reading her like an open book.

“Yes, but it’s not only that. I’ve never been to a dance Rose! What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act? I’ll only make a fool of myself. People will look at me like I’m an idiot. It’s so embarrassing.”

“Rey, who cares what people think. We’re there to dance, drink punch and have fun. That’s what dances are, fun.”

Rey looked away and stared off into space.

“You deserve to have fun you know. Not worry about tomorrow. Just dance and look pretty in a dress for one day. This is actually my first dance Rey. I’ve never officially been to one. I always volunteered to work at the dance, passing out drinks or cleaning tables. I always volunteered because no one ever asked me.” Rose’s eyes became glassy. “I always wanted to know what it felt like to dress up and look pretty. Style my hair and wear nice shoes and dance with a nice boy who actually wanted to be there with me.”

Rey looked sympathetically at Rose. “I guess maybe we both deserve to feel nice and pretty at a dance.” Her voice was soft and she knew that deep down she wanted to do this for Rose. So she could have her dream dance.

“You could say that again.” Rose tried to clear the emotion from her voice.

“Anywho, you and Paige are about the same size, so I don’t think we should have any problem with clothing. As for shoes, we could always stuff the heels.”

“Oh god, heels! I’ve never worn heels! I’ll keel over the first two steps I take!”

Rose laughed. “Don’t worry we’ll practice walking in them before the dance. Paige says it’s easy once you get the hang of it.”

Rey sighed, “Well at this rate the most embarrassing thing that could happen would be me tripping over my feet while darting to the punch bowl with snacks stuffed in my mouth.”

Rose laughed, “Don’t worry I’ll be right behind you. I’ve seen so many students dive into the punch bowl it’s not even funny.”

***

The next day Rey was sitting at her favorite bench in the park. She was contemplating and twisting her mind on how she would learn to dance in just two days for the Winter Formal. She tried reading a book on dancing that she obtained from the library but it was pointless. She couldn’t learn Swing in two days and her two left feet were probably disastrous. Everyone would be dancing and she would be the only reject in the dance hall not moving. Finn had offered to teach her a thing or two but he was busy helping his dad fix his car. Rey had no idea what she was doing.

A few minutes later BB8 came running along the bushes until he spotted her. His fur was starting to cover his eyes and he was looking really shaggy. He ran to Rey and put his paws on her lap.

“Who’s a good boy. You’re getting so shaggy, you can’t even see me.” She cooed at the pup as he continued to give her whiny kisses. She wondered how BB could even see out of his eyes, maybe it was her scent that guided him to her.

Ben came striding in like usual and barked at BB8 to get down off of Rey.

“Sorry, we’re still trying to teach him not to jump on people.”

“It’s alright. I don’t mind him giving me jumpy kisses.” She leaned down and let him lick her cheek. Rey sighed as she sat up.

“I hope we didn’t interrupt your reading.” Ben noted as he eyed the book on Swing dancing in her lap.

“Oh!” Rey quickly tried to shove the book in her bag, ashamed she had been caught reading it. It was embarrassing not knowing how to dance in her mind. How can one go to a dance without knowing how to.

“Was that a book on Swing?”

“_Ahh choobies_….” Rey thought. So he saw it. No use in lying now.

“Yeah, I got it for the dance. I,….I don’t know how to dance and I’m going to make a total fool of myself.” She sounded hopeless and had no idea why she was venting to Ben of all people.

“You mean, you’ve never danced before. At all?” He said the words as if he was perplexed by the fact she had never danced.

“No, I’ve never been to a dance before.” Rey’s cheeks reddened.

“Funny, I thought everyone danced.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I mean, I grew up dancing. It was something that was always a part of my life.”

“Dancing, always a part of your life?”

“Yes, well, my mother made me learn. She couldn’t have a son at one of her political parties who didn’t know how to dance.” There was a dark edge to his voice that made Rey wonder if he hated dancing despite doing it his whole life.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. So, you’ve been to a lot of parties with dancing?”

“More than I can count.” He replied bitterly

“I see.”

After a beat of silence, Ben continued, “You need a teacher. …I, I could show you how to dance.”

Rey’s eyes bulged wide. “What?”

Ben cleared his throat, “You need a teacher. I can show you a thing or two. I know most of the modern dances including the ones your reading in that book you got there.”

She clutched her book defensively in her bag. “I think I’ll pass. I don’t need help, I can figure it out on my own.”

Ben nodded his head and looked down, almost as if he was disappointed. “Well, if you change your mind, I can help.”

She watched as he turned to leave. BB had wondered off to the creek and Ben started to follow him. She could tell that their interaction for the day would soon be over. But something clicked inside of her.

“Ben!”

She saw the moment he jumped at the mention of his name and snapped around to face her.

“I,…..I need a teacher. Can you show me?” She had no idea what had caused her to rethink his offer but she was starting to turn desperate. She saw the surprise cross his face and his dark eyes seemed to become deeper. He softened and gave her a little nod.

“Great.” Rey said nervously. “How about tomorrow after Mazs? We can meet somewhere, away from people. Where no one can watch me make a total fool of myself.” There was a nervous edge to her voice. She didn’t want to be caught learning how to dance, it was still humiliating to her.

She saw Ben turning her words over in his head. “I know a place. A quiet place. Where you wouldn’t be worried about being humiliated.”

“Great! But where is it?”

“Just meet me here after Mazs. We can go together. I’ll take you.”

After a beat of silence Rey nodded her head. “Ok, tomorrow then.”

“Make sure you bring whatever shoes your wearing to the dance. That’s important.” He sounded professional, like he knew what he was talking about.

“Ok, I will.” Rey smiled lightly.

Ben nodded his head. He was about to chase BB8 down when she stopped him again. “Ben. …. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” He turned and walked away with what Rey could have sworn was a sly smile spreading on his face. It irritated her, had she just made a huge mistake?

***

The next day Rey was waiting at the park bench for Ben. They had agreed to wait till their friends left Maz’s to meet up. Rey’s dance lesson was supposed to be a secret. She didn’t want her friends to know she had agreed to let Ben teach her. It was still embarrassing to her and she didn’t know what her friends would think about Ben helping her. She wasn’t even sure why it should even be a secret.

“Hey.”

Rey jumped at Ben’s deep voice. “Are you ready to head out?” There was a subdued excitement to his voice and she wondered if he was secretly amused by this whole situation.

“Sure, but where are we going?”

“Just follow me.” He said lightly.

Rey rolled her eyes but followed. The walk had been mostly silent. Only bringing up topics about BB and school every once a while.

After walking for what felt like over a mile, Rey had started to become impatient. “Where are you taking me? To your secret lair.” She didn’t hide the irritation from her voice. It was starting to get really cold. She clutched her warm jacket around her closely.

“So impatient you are.” He mumbled.

“What?!”

“Every good learner needs patience.” She wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic with his tone of voice and a fire started to burn inside of her.

“Yeah we’ll my patience is growing thin just like the air in my lungs. It’s starting to freeze.”

“We’re almost there, quit complaining.”

“Quit complaining! It’s freezing cold and we’ve been walking for almost an hour.”

“It hasn’t been that long.” Ben cut her off.

“Yes it has! Where are you taking me? Are you gona drag me to the middle of a field and kill me. If so, the cold might do that first.”

“Can you just trust me for once.” He eyed her with curiosity.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine but I’m not going down that easy.”

“I expect no less,” He said with mirth.

Rey had never seen him so playful. It was like he was feeding off of her irritation for amusement. She crossed her arms and decided to remain silent for the remainder of their death march.

After another 10 minutes they rounded a corner that led them to a large open area with snow fields. Towards the end of the road was a large warehouse standing over at least a hundred feet tall. Rey read the street name.

“Corellia street?”

“Yep, that’s the street. We’re here.”

“Why are we walking towards the giant old warehouse?” Fear started to settle in Rey’s belly. Why had she agreed to walk to an old warehouse with Ben Solo. What in the world was going on in that boy’s head.

Ben sighed as he noticed the panicked look on her face. “Rey, I’m not going to hurt you. Can you just trust me?”

“Depends on what’s inside the warehouse.”

Ben Solo laughed and she looked at him like he was crazy. She had never heard him laugh, it sounded more like a deep rumble. Something ticked inside of her at the sound of it.

As they reached the giant warehouse, Rey realized just how tall it was. It was protected by a large gate and Ben unlocked it with his key. They walked down a pathway that led to the entrance doors.

“C’mon I’ll show you inside.” With that he opened the wide double doors and they both stepped inside.

Rey’s breath caught in her mouth when she realized just what was inside.

It wasn’t a warehouse, but a hangar. The walls were made of brick and there were giant windows extending from the ground up. The roof was severely damaged and had patches of light shining through it to cast small spotlights throughout the entire giant room. The hangar had a second-floor balcony that wrapped around the entire inside of the warehouse. It smelt like metal and brick and earth. The large windows which allowed sunlight to enter casted a hallowed light on the old rustic hangar. Dust particles could be seen flying through the air and light.

The most important part of course were the airplanes. There had to be at least 50 planes tucked in here. Some were covered with tarps while others were exposed. Rey was barley processing the planes before her before she noticed the grand staircase that twisted and led to the second floor. It looked like it was made of wood and iron, it had a Victorian style to the carving. Dead set in the middle of the giant hangar was a large silver cargo plane that was centered on an elevated platform. It was old and rundown. But Rey had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Her body was drawn towards it and she practically skipped towards it.

“That’s the Falcon.” Ben mumbled quietly.

She reached the Falcon and gently raised her hand to touch the large propellers. “Ben. What is all of this?” She was so confused why he had brought her here, but she found she didn’t care. This hangar was amazing despite being rundown. Rey loved run down things, that was her forte.

“It’s a hangar. All these planes…..they belong to us.”

“All of these planes, really?!”

Ben sighed, “Yes, it’s actually been an ongoing collection.” His voice seemed to sadden for some reason. It piqued Rey’s curiosity.

“How did your family obtain all these planes? Some of them I’ve never even see before.”

His voice became thick. “They were……they were my father’s.”

“Your father?”

“Yes, he, …he smuggled most of these planes.”

“He was a plane smuggler!?” Rey couldn’t contain the excitement from her voice. The scavenger in her wanted to pick apart the parts before her. Back in Jakku, Rey had encountered a few smugglers while scavenging. They always had secret objects from other parts of the world. Some had spices and teas while others had actual rare metals and golds. She was so fascinated by them as a child.

“That’s one way to put it. Most of these planes are foreign.”

“Foreign?”

Ben chuckled darkly, “Yeah, you see that plane over there.” He pointed to an old gray single flyer plane. “That’s a Nieuport 17, a French fighter plane my father smuggled from an European arm’s dealer. And that one,” he pointed to the plane next to it, “Is a Fokker M.7, a German aircraft from WW1.”

Rey watched Ben in awe as he named off almost every single airplane in the hangar. Some were modern, some were old. He didn’t miss a beat, it was like he could name them off the back of his hand.

“Ben….this is incredible. How in the world did your father pull this off?”

“He was good at what he did… .He was a good pilot.”

“Does he still smuggle planes! And what about your mother, she’s the mayor. Does everyone know about this?”

Ben stiffened. “My mother hates every single bit of it…that’s why it’s hidden back here, like some caged secret.” There was a deep venom to his voice.

“But your father, does he still collect-”

“NO,” Ben snapped.

Rey flinched at the tone of his voice. It had sounded like it had turned almost violent.

“Never mind about my father, that’s not why we’re here.” He abruptly changed the subject and Rey could tell he did not want to talk about his father. Everything in her wanted to question why including why it sounded like he hated him. She decided to tuck that information away for later.

In attempt to lighten the conversation Rey blurted, “Does Poe know about this?”

She noticed the instant he flinched and ground his teeth. “Never mind about Poe that’s not why we’re here.”

“_Ugh he’s so difficult_,” Rey couldn’t think of how to pick up the pieces of their dying conversation. “Then why are we here?” She threw the question at him like a fast pitch.

Ben swallowed, “We’re here for you to learn how to dance.”

“And you thought this old hangar would be the perfect place?”

“Y-yes, I thought it would be because it’s secluded and it’s……it’s where I learned how to dance.”

“What do you mean?” She eyed him curiously.

“The Falcon right there, is where I learned how to dance……. . My mother, would force me and my father to practice dancing for her political parties. We both hated it and only agreed to it if we could come here to learn….it was our little secret place away from society. As a young boy my mother would instruct me and father on how to dance.” He pointed to the top of the Falcon. “We practiced on top of the Falcon. My father and I thought it would be daring and less boring on top and attempted to keep our balance.” Rey saw many emotions pass his face as he discussed his past dancing lessons.

“You learned to dance on top of a plane?” She found the idea ludicrous. But saw the small smile Ben wore on his face as he continued.

He shrugged his shoulders and continued, “That was the deal. We would only practice and learn if we could do it on the Falcon. My mother hated it. She knew we were going to get ourselves killed up there. But it was still better than having to argue or sit through an evening of me and my father making a fool of ourselves during a party. One time my father stepped on her feet during a political campaign event and she fell and tripped the other dancers. She made me and my father dance up there for a week until we learned all the steps. It was the worst lesson session ever.”

Rey couldn’t help but chuckle. She could imagine a younger Ben irritated and being forced to practice on a plane. It was really silly and dangerous. What if they fell off? But I guess it was something that his family used to do, she could not frown upon that.

Ben cleared his throat, “Ok are you ready for your lesson?”

“Sure.”

“Ok, I’ll grab the ladder.” He took off looking for said ladder.

“Wait what? What do you mean ladder?”

“For the Falcon.” He repeated so innocently it almost made her laugh.

“Ben, I’m not dancing on top of that plane.” Her voice was strong and unwavering. There was no way in two hells she was getting on top of the Falcon.

Ben returned two minutes later. “I can’t find the ladder. I guess we’ll have to climb up.”

“Ben! I said I’m not learning on the Falcon.”

“There’s plenty of space on top trust me, it’s not as narrow as you think. And if a plane smuggler with two left feet can learn to dance up there, then so can you.”

“Well I’m not a plane smuggler!” She shot back.

“But you have two left feet, doncha ya.” He smirked at her and she was seething.

“Why can’t we dance down here, where it’s perfectly flat and safe?”

“You won’t learn balance down here trust me.”

“No, I don’t trust you cuz you’re trying to get me on top of a plane so I can fall and break my neck and end up with another medical bill!” She turned to leave and he sighed.

“Rey please, it’s perfectly safe and I would never let you fall. If you fall, I fall. I’ll be there to catch you.”

She stopped at his words. For some reason her memory went back to Ben catching her before she passed out from her injury. He hadn’t let her fall then, he had caught her and …he would catch her now. She turned towards him with a wary look in her eyes. “Are you sure it’s safe.” She felt like a child asking but she needed reassurance.

“Yes, I wouldn’t be asking you Rey if I knew it wasn’t safe. I would never put you in harm’s way. Never.” His voice was so soft and sincere. He then reached out his hand and gestured towards the top of the Falcon.

She sighed deeply, “Alright, but one slip and we’re practicing on the good old ground.”

Ben smiled victoriously and helped her climb the Falcon. Once on top she observed that he had been right. There had been plenty of walking space. The body of the cargo ship was long and wide. It was almost like a platform…almost. She thought he was going to comment an ‘I told you so’ but instead he stayed quiet.

“Did you bring the shoes you’re wearing to the dance?”

Rey reached down in her sack and pulled out the wretched heels that Paige had loaned her. “These things are going to be the end of me, I’m sure of it.”

Ben chuckled to her remark. “Why don’t we learn the basics first, without the shoes, then we can try it with the shoes?”

“Sooounds wonderful.” Rey dragged out the words and tossed her shoes and sack to the side.

“You’ll need to remove the coat too. It’ll be too difficult to move.”

“But it’s cold! I’ll freeze.” She protested.

“Look up, the sun is hitting us directly, you’ll warm up quickly once you start moving.”

She reluctantly lifted her head and realized there was a gaping hole in the roof that conveniently casted a spotlight on the Falcon’s body. It was perfect, almost like dancing with a spotlight beating down on you. She removed her coat and tossed it aside, Ben then followed her and removed his coat. He was wearing a black sweater with his sleeves rolled up. His suspenders were holding his pants up and it made him look taller.

“Are you ready?” He came closer to Rey and she was suddenly intimidated by his height. He looked so much taller than normal, she swallowed as he towered over her. She nodded in response.

“Ok, so we’ll learn the steps first then practice with the music.”

“Music?”

“There’s a record player down in the Falcon’s cockpit.” He shrugged.

“Oh,” was all she could think of to say.

“The first dance we’ll practice will be Jive and then Swing with most of the Big Band music.”

Rey nodded and came closer.

“So first off, it’s important to learn the foot work and hand movements.” He reached for her hand and she placed it in his. Warmth immediately spread through her fingers as their hands made contact. Her fingers were like ice from the cold, but the moment they touched his, the heat instantly defrosted them. _How was he so warm_? Rey felt the heat spread to her tip toes and tried to ignore the funny feeling in the pit of her belly.

The warmth from Ben had soon turned to discomfort. Discomfort from overheating and moving too much. The first hour of practice had been horrendous. Rey had repeatedly stepped on Ben’s feet, accidently smacked him in the face and hit him in the back. Multiple times. Despite all of this, he had never lost his temper with her. Ever. In fact, he was even more patient and encouraged Rey to try again until she got it. More than once she had wanted to give up, but Ben wouldn’t let her. It was like he saw something in her that she didn’t see in herself. Eventually after multiple attempts of failure, her feet started working right, her rhythm was much more in sync and by the end of the second hour, she felt much better about herself.

Ben was a good teacher. He had proven true to his word. He had so much precision and skill that she was impressed by his prowess. He continued to be gentle and never got angry when she had assaulted him by accident with the heels she was wearing. She felt terrible and knew the stab wounds had to hurt. The heels were like daggers.

They repeated the dances until Rey was confident that she wouldn’t make a complete fool of herself. She was nowhere near perfect. A B- at best but better than an F. Afterall, it was impossible to learn everything in one day.

They took a quick breather to catch their breath before starting the last dance. They were both sweating from moving so much despite the cold. Rey had let her buns down, they were a gaping mess, falling all over the place. She pulled her hair into a half ponytail. Her light brown hair fell into perfect waves around her shoulders. She looked up and saw Ben snap his head away from her the moment their eyes met. 

After a few minutes of sitting, they decided to start the last dance. The sun would be setting soon and it would be dark. The last dance was a slow dance, something they hadn’t practiced yet. Ben jumped down in the cockpit of the Falcon and turned on the record player. A slow melody starting playing as he climbed back up to the top of plane.

“We’re not gona practice first without the music?”

“It’s a slow dance Rey, there’s no need to learn anything. It’s just movement.”

As the sweet melody started to play, a women’s voice blared into the record. Her voice sounded beautiful and it was either sad or romantic, Rey couldn’t tell..

Ben cleared his throat, “Ok so for this dance, slow dances are just movement. I hold one of your hands up here like this.” He grabbed Rey’s right hand and lifted it. “And you place your other hand on my shoulder.” He then grabbed her left hand and placed it on his shoulder. “My other hand then goes lightly on your waist.” He hesitated before placing his hand on her waist, but Rey gave him an ok nod. The moment his large hand hit her waist, a warmth spread through her side. It started from her waist and inched its’ way into her. She tried to ignore it, but she couldn’t help the little gasp that practically threatened its way out of her mouth.

“And you just move like this.” Ben then started to guide her in a gentle back and forth movement while the music continued on in the background. He then spun her around and she clumsily ran into him hard. He chuckled, “Rey, it’s not a fast dance, you don’t have to come in as hard.”

“Sorry,” she added sheepishly. “I think it’s just my feet, the heels are starting to hurt.”

“Take them off, you don’t need them for a slow dance.”

“But then I’ll have to put my boots back on, it’s hard to move in those. You saw how many times I stepped on your feet in them.”

“Just take off the heels and you can stand on my feet. Your foot work is off in these slow songs and I can help guide you.”

“But what about you, won’t I hurt you. I’m too heavy. You won’t be able to move.”

“It’s fine. I danced on my father’s feet all the time as a boy. It helps you keep pace until you can do it on your own. Just no jumping, that hurts.” He joked.

She gave him an incredulous look but pulled off her heels and placed her feet on his boots. Luckily, she had worn her stockings or she would have been cold. She waited to see the discomfort of her weight on him, but it never came. The movement from standing on his feet, had brought them closer with their bodies near to touching. He guided her slowly and his movements became more fluid. Rey’s weight did nothing to his ability to move, if anything being closer made it easier for him to show her the rhythm of slow dancing. Slow songs seemed harder than fast songs for some reason to Rey.

After a few minutes, she was starting to get the hang of it. But, she didn’t want to step off of Ben Solo’s feet, not just yet… . They fell into a comfortable movement and kept moving despite the record stopping. For some reason she could still hear the beautiful melody playing in her head despite the song being over. A few second later, Ben started to hum the song out loud. It was soft and barely audible, but Rey felt it echoing in her ears. His hand tightened around hers and so did his hand around her waist.

“You’re doing great Rey.” He whispered as he looked down at her. Their faces were inches away from each other. And Rey couldn’t help but stare into those deep eyes of his. They were like magnets, sucking her in.

Instead of looking up at him any longer, she turned her head into his shoulder. She wanted to lean into it and get lost in his voice. He then brought his head lower until he was practically touching the side of Rey’s.

“What’s the name of the song?” Rey figured talking would help her get through this slow dance.

“It’s called _We’ll Meet Again. _My mother used to love it… It’s a song we danced to a lot.”

Rey was mere inches from burying her face into the front of his shoulder but bit her lip to stop herself. _What was wrong with her? _Ben continued to lightly hum the melody as he swayed her back and forth.

“Ben?” She started as a distraction. “Are you going to the dance?” She could tell the question had taken him off guard but he answered her right away.

“No, I am not.”

“Why not?” Rey then pushed herself back to look up at him. Their eyes met again.

“I said no.”

“What do you mean you said ‘no’?”

“I told her no.” He shrugged lightly as he stared off into space. Rey couldn’t help but notice the beauty marks on his face as he looked away and how the evening sunlight had hit him in a way that illuminated them. She took in his entire face. His nose, his eyes, his dimples…his hair.

“What do you mean you told her ‘no’?” Rey whispered softly as she took in his face hallowed by the light. 

He scoffed and turned to her, “She wasn’t the right dance partner.”

“Who?” Rey had practically spit the question out.

He noticed the anxious look cross her features and couldn’t deny the adorability of it all. It took him by surprise. “Does it matter?”

Rey looked down, “_Oh course it doesn’t matter dummy, stop probing._” She was trying to get a hold of her thoughts.

“No, …I guess not. I’m sorry.” Rey looked down at her feet on top of his. Her feet were so dainty on top of his. After a second she blurted, “It was Nettie wasn’t it.” It was more of statement than a question. She already knew the answer.

Ben then laughed and her head snapped up towards his. “You’re too perceptive for your own good you know. To answer the question you already know the answer to, yes it was her.”

Rey stared up at him with surprise etched in her eyes. He wasn’t mocking her, it almost seemed like he was trying to reassure her. “Why did you say no?” The question was repeated again.

“Wasn’t the right dance partner.” He mumbled as his eyes took in her face. They traced the light freckles that spread across her rosen cheeks and landed on her lips. With his lips slightly parted, he stared deeply into her eyes and the world suddenly stopped. Rey then mimicked his movements until she was staring right back at him with her lips slightly parted.

At that moment Rey was aware of nothing but him. The plane they were dancing on had suddenly disappeared, the old hangar faded away, the sunlight that was hitting him became brighter and her senses became more hyper aware of just him. The hand at her waist burned as did they way he held her other hand. His hair which was normally black had a sudden soft brown to it, as did his eyes. The air felt thick as if it had been sucked out of her.

The world faded away and all Rey could see and feel was him and nothing else. It was as if sound and her surroundings had been sucked out of her senses. He leaned his head down closer until it was mere seconds from leaning against hers. He stopped just before their heads connected. Rey’s breath hitched and her heart began to cry out. For what, she had no idea.

Ben then leaned back and she took a deep breath. “I think you’re going to do great Rey. You’re almost a pro.”

She shuddered trying to recover herself from the previous 10 seconds. “It’s because I had the right dance partner,” she mumbled.

Ben then nodded and continued to hum the melody to the song that was long gone. Rey went back to facing his shoulder as he continued to hum in her ear. The sound was so soft and sweet, the gentleness of it all made tears start to gather in her eyes.

Rey had felt something she had never felt before in this moment on top of a plane on Ben Solo’s feet. She felt safe, safe and warm and comfort. There were too many emotions slipping through her mind. She couldn’t pinpoint one that summed up all she felt. She decided warm would be the only thing she could describe. And for the life of her, she wished the feeling could last forever…..

They eventually decided to wrap up the dance session. Rey had gathered her things as Ben jumped down the side of the Falcon. He then turned to look up at her and motioned for her to jump down.

“It’s too high Ben,” she croaked.

“Just slide off, I’ll catch you.” He reassured her.

She swallowed and placed herself towards the edge of the plane. She sat down and pulled her dress tight to prevent it from flying open. Ben noticed the gesture and looked away to give her privacy.

“Just let me know when you’re ready.”

“Ok, I’m ready.” She then pushed herself from the top of the Falcon and slid down. Ben instantly caught her within a second and she was trapped between his arms. Rey froze when she realized how close they were. For once in her life she was looking down at him and he was looking up at her. She stayed suspended in the air above him until Ben cleared his throat and she slid down his form. For some reason she blushed when her feet hit the ground.

“Shall we head out?” He asked clearing his throat as he gestured towards the entrance of the hangar.

Rey was finally back on the ground, but she still felt like she was flying. “Sure.” With that they headed out and locked up the hangar.

The walk home had been freezing. The sun had practically disappeared and the wind picked up. It was so cold that Rey had found herself nearly leaning on Ben for warmth. He was like a heater/oven. Ben eventually got the hint and propped up his arm for her to latch onto. The rest of the way she leaned into him and held on to his arm like he was a life support. Pride was thrown out the window, she needed his warmth. She didn’t care how desperate she clung onto his arm.

When they reached Rey’s neighborhood, the wind had died down and the night air became still. The cold was not as bad and Rey had reluctantly let go of Ben’s arm. She didn’t want to seem desperate any longer. But her body was crying out for his warmth.

They were two blocks from Rey’s house when she broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into. “I can walk myself the rest of the way home. You live on the other side of town. No need to walk more than necessary.”

“But it’s dark and this neighborhood-” He stopped himself before he could finish his sentence and offend her.

She sighed, “It’s fine Ben, I can walk myself home.”

“It’s too dark,” he protested.

“I can handle myself. I’m a big girl. I know this neighborhood better than you do.”

“Still….it’s not safe.”

Rey figured he wasn’t going to budge. Ever the gentleman he was being today. She decided to let him walk her home until they reached her street.

Once at the edge of her street she blurted, “Okay, I can take it from here.”

“Why is it so dark? Where are the streetlights? You can’t see anything out here.” He sounded irritated, like he didn’t like her neighborhood at all.

“We don’t have any Ben. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take the rest of my leave home. Thank you for everything today.” Rey smiled at him.

“I’m walking you _all_ the way home. It’s dangerous and dark out here.”

“Ben, I can handle myself, please I’ve done it before.”

“‘Done it before’ Rey you can’t be serious. In a neighborhood like this at night?” She couldn’t understand why he was getting so excited about where she lived. One thing she could understand however was that she could not let Ben walk her all the way home. Not with Plutt there. Absolutely not.

“I’ll take it from here, please head back.” She did her best to reassure him. She turned to leave and was glad he didn’t protest until she heard his footsteps behind her.

“Ben! What are doing? I said go home.”

“Not until I know you’re safe.”

“I don’t need you to walk me home. I can do that myself.”

“I won’t allow you to place yourself at risk at night. This is ridiculous.”

“Oh really, so what? You’re gona wait out here every night to make sure I make it home? Don’t be ridiculous Ben. Some of us can’t afford to live in nice neighborhoods with fancy 24-hour streetlights.” Rey saw him flinch and instantly regretted her words. However, they were necessary. She didn’t mean to be harsh, after everything he had done for her today, how could she be. But, she couldn’t let him anywhere near Plutt. She would do whatever it takes to keep him as far away as possible.

“Please,” he started, “Just let me walk you to the gate.” He sounded so defeated that Rey couldn’t lash out at him any longer. She reluctantly nodded her head and prayed that Plutt wasn’t outside the house. Maybe Ben could walk her to the gate of the house and nothing more. _Please God….Please_….Rey prayed as Ben strode up to walk beside her.

As they reached the gate to her house, she sighed a big sigh of relief. Thankfully, Plutt hadn’t been outside. Rey didn’t want to think of the outcome. She turned to face Ben. He had a relieved look on his face that she had made it home safely. She still couldn’t figure out how he could be such a gentleman. It surprised her, he continued to surprise her the entire day.

“Thank you for everything Ben, I, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

He smiled down at her in response. “Don’t thank me yet. … It depends on how the dance goes.” For some reason there was a sadness to the way he said “how the dance goes”. It sounded empty and hollow. Rey didn’t want to see that look upon his face. She was about to open her mouth to cheer him up when a loud voice came booming from the house.

“GIRL!!”

Plutt came barging out of the house in a drunken mess with bottles rolling around his feet.

Rey instantly froze and felt her blood go cold. She felt the moment the air was sucked out of her lungs. It wasn’t like earlier with Ben, this was a suffocating terror.

Plutt stopped at the top of the porch stairs and took a huge drink of the bottle in his hand. Rey reluctantly turned towards the house but kept her head down. Ben followed her movements but kept his head up.

“Where in this god-forsaken world have you been girl!!!” He roared as he smashed his bottle on the ground and glass went flying everywhere.

Rey flinched and Ben went rigid.

“Huh, you gona answer me!” He started to stalk down the porch stairs. “You been at work huh? Or you been with this boy here.” He said his words menacingly as he glared at Ben.

Rey then quickly turned to Ben with a panicked expression. “I need to go, now,” she said so lowly with as much control she could muster up. She turned to walk away from him but Ben grabbed her elbow to still her. She gasped and turned around to look up at him. He was shaking and his eyes, they were no longer soft like they had been earlier. They were hard and eerily frightening. He never took them off of Plutt.

“Ahhh I see. So, you have been lying to me. You been cutting work haven’t cha, so you can spend time with this boy here.” Plutt continued to stalk and pulled out his switch blade he always kept in his pocket.

Rey began to hyperventilate, she needed to control and stop Plutt before something happened. Ben only tightened his grip on her. It started to hurt and Ben was shaking uncontrollably. His fists were clenched.

“You little whore, you’re not even gona open your mouth and deny it!” Plutt spat as he lunged towards the gate entrance.

“ENOUGH!” Rey roared as she yanked her arm away from Ben’s grasp and practically jumped to the gate’s entrance. She was about to enter the gate to prevent Plutt from exiting when Ben grabbed her elbow again. Rey was startled in her frustration.

“Let. Her. Go. Boy.” He growled at Ben.

Ben was shaking and he refused to let Rey out of his reach. It was right then and there that she knew she would have to reassure Ben that she could handle this. This was nothing new for her…

“Ben,” she practically whispered. “Please, it’s ok.” She placed her hand on his arm and the other on his shoulder lightly.

“Please,” she mouthed to him with as much gentleness as she could. Rey saw a million emotions cross his face as he reluctantly removed his eyes from Plutt and starred down at her. There were so many as she watched them dance across his face, worry, anger, terror and sadness mixed in one. Their eyes locked and they stared deeply into each other. It was almost like a trance.

Plutt broke the silence. “Ben huh, so that’s your name. …Wait a second! I’ve seen you before in a newspaper.” He eyed Ben more closely and Rey stiffened. “Oh, I know who you are,” he spat. “You’re the mayor’s boy.” The way he said those words made her flinch. She instantly turned away from Ben and entered the gate and slammed it shut.

Once inside she started heading towards the inside of the house. Plutt turned and stalked after Rey. He reached her once they were at the porch and yanked her elbow hard. Rey winced out loud, it had hurt. Ben’s hand had felt like a gentle grasp compared to Plutt. He continued to drag her towards the front door and Rey took one last look at Ben.

He was still standing there, right outside the gate, shaking with a forlorn and hopeless look. Starring up at her, like he wanted to pull her back to him. Rey mouthed an “I’m sorry” as Plutt pushed her inside and slammed the door.

Once inside he let go of Rey and started laughing uncontrollably. After minutes of pure laughter Rey snapped. “What’s so funny!!”

“What’s so funny, what’s so funny you say.” Plutt then burst into more laughter. “You. Are. A. Smart. Girl.”

“What are you talking about?” She spat at him.

“Chasing the mayor’s son! Oh my, you are a smart, smart girl. All you got to do is open your legs to that boy and we’ll be set for life!” A cruel laughter broke out of Plutt and Rey saw red.

“How DARE you!!!” She roared.

“What! You don’t think I know your plan. That boy is more rich than this entire town x 2. All you gota do is seduce the rich prick, get knocked up and the money will be all ours. We’ll suck his and his momma’s money bone dry until they got nothin left!” Tears of laughter escaped Plutt’s eyes.

Rey started to hyperventilate and her skin started crawling. “NEVER! I’ll NEVER let you use him that way. Or me!”

Plutt turned to her slowly. “If you know what’s good for you girl, you’ll do it. You have no other choice. You’ll never be worth anything. You’ll end up a beggar whore on the streets.”

“Better that then let you use me or anyone else!!!” With that Rey turned to her room and slammed the door shut.

She locked her door and pushed her dresser against it to prevent any entry at all. She was so angry and shaking. She thought she would start convulsing any minute. She suddenly dropped to her knees and didn’t know what to do….she started praying. Praying to God that he would never let Plutt use her or Ben or anyone…. Tears flowed like a river down her face and she didn’t even care.

After a few minutes, she picked herself up and grabbed her old notebook. She added another scratch mark until her parents would return.

Like a zombie she turned to her bed. She fell asleep curled up into a ball like usual. The last thing on her mind was the beautiful melody that Ben was humming in her ear earlier. She could still hear his soft humming in her head as she drifted. It was on a loop. It felt like a warmth.

END CHAPTER 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I had to do research for this chapter but the airplanes mentioned are actual real planes. If Han Solo was a smuggler during this time period I have no doubt he would be smuggling planes from around the globe. As for the song in this chapter during the slow dance it's called We'll Meet Again, by Vera Lynn. It's very beautiful and emotional. It's a wartime song but I started crying when listening to it. It gave me inspiration during the slow dance sequence. Please feel free to leave a comment. I'm open to suggestions! Thanks for reading and as mentioned before this story is a sloooooow burn but will be worth it.


	15. REVIEW OF THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TROS SPOILERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so first off, I need to vent this before I ever continue this story again. This update is not a chapter. It's a vent/review of TROS. It’s probably therapeutic for me in a way. So, TROS SPOILERS PLEASE SKIP OVER THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. I REPEAT SKIP THIS CHAPTER AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE NEXT CHAPTER. I will update the next chapter probably tomorrow. I already have it done, but I needed to do this first.

This is my own **personal** opinion after seeing the movie and has nothing to do with how others feel about it. If you loved it, I will not bash you, if you hated it, I will not bash you. I have nothing but love to give and respect everyone’s opinion.

I saw TROS this past Thursday on opening night and my initial reaction after seeing it was anger. I felt empty and hopeless and had no idea how it was possible to leave the movie feeling that way. There were many reasons for doing so and I felt this movie was a hot mess. So many plot holes and changes that I got whiplash from how fast it was moving. I’m going to be bold in saying this but I didn’t care about Reylo, I cared about Ben Solo surviving. If we didn’t have a Reylo kiss, that would have been fine if BEN SOLO had survived. I felt this movie did him dirty in a way. It didn’t allow him to avenge his family’s name. During the final battle Ben should have been right beside Rey reflecting Palpatine’s lightening. Yes, I understand it was important for Rey to defeat her evil grandfather, but it was just as important for Ben to be there too. His family has been tormented for generations by this fiend and even he himself has been tormented since he was in his mother’s womb. The film is called The Rise of Skywalker for crying out loud. Why didn’t Ben hear the voices of the Jedi like Rey gets to? I know I might sound nit picky but it was important to me for Ben to be there in that moment instead of using him as a plot device to revive Rey and then just die.

There were many things that were initially hard for me to except. This movie had so many changes from the first two in the trilogy that it made the story convoluted for me. First off, Rey being a Palpatine after already establishing she was a nobody felt like a huge plot dump. Secondly, how could Luke and Leia ever give up hope on Ben and then turn around and help Rey despite knowing she was a Palpatine. So Ben gets sent away to Luke because his parents fear him and Rey ends up getting trained and guidance? Why didn’t Leia focus on her own son instead? Lastly, this is probably the biggest gripe I have with this film, no one cares that Ben Solo dies…not even Rey. Nobody pays homage to him after he dies, there’s no eulogy, no force ghost next to Luke or Leia at the end, not even a mention of him, no word. I get it he was Kylo Ren. But Kylo Ren died and Ben Solo Rose. He helped save the galaxy. Rey doesn’t even show emotion at the end of the film over him. This man Ben literally sacrifices his heart and soul for Rey. He gives her everything just so she can live because he can’t live without her. He pays the ultimate sacrifice through love. This is probably the biggest sacrifice we have seen in a Star Wars movie. A literal exchange of life. And how does Rey react….nothing. She looks sad for two seconds after he dies and then that’s it. She’s smiling flying Luke’s X-wing back to the resistance base. All happy and cheery with BB8 and the resistance. Hugging and laughing with Finn and Poe. And then we cut to her in Tatooine and she’s sliding around all happy in the sand like she doesn’t have a care in the world. And then she declares herself a Skywalker when in reality, Palpatine ended up successfully killing off ALL of the remaining Skywalkers. Ironic that a Palpatine takes on the name after all the real Skywalkers are dead thanks to the Palpatine name.

I know I sound like I’m repeating myself and I know they couldn’t have had the heroine all sad at the end of the film. But would it have killed them to honor Ben Solo for two more seconds. Show Rey clutch his black sweater he was wearing while he disappeared with tears in her eyes. Have her show some sort of semblance as she flies Luke’s X-wing back to base. Have some sort of moment where Rey’s on Tatooine and she keeps Ben’s sweater near her at all times. Like wrapped around her staff or waist. I mean she just lost her soul mate/bond mate. That has to hurt right, especially in the force? I can go on and on and on about how this movie played out. But the most depressing message is that there can be no redemption without death. If you’re on the dark side and turn to the light side boom automatic death. It’s almost laughable like what’s the point of turning to the light if you’re heads on a platter. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

On a positive note, I was able to enjoy the movie a second time around. My brother had convinced me to go with him and I reluctantly went despite knowing how I already felt about the film. It was his second time too and we both knew what to expect. I do feel better watching it again. I understood more of the plot, caught things that I didn’t the first time around and was even able to accept the scenes as they came. To any Reylos (I kind of want to change the ship name to ReyBen now since it’s more fitting) who are upset with the film. I encourage you to watch the film again. Give it another chance and let it be. My experience the second time was much better. I loved the way Ben stormed Palpatine’s lair like a freakin Disney Prince to go and help save Rey. I didn’t really catch that the first time around but the second time I was able to enjoy, especially with the epic music in the background making him even more like a prince storming the castle. I enjoyed the ReyBen scenes so much more the second time around and it made the movie a bit easier to except.

The Han and Ben scene was beautiful and OMG sassy Ben Solo was the best! I wish we could have seen more of it. As the movie was ending my brother turned to me and said that he agreed that Ben should have been there as a force ghost next to his family. Or at least been there alive to bury the sabers with Rey, they dropped the ball with that. It made me laugh since he has no idea how much I wish they had done either of those things. We both thought it was strange he didn’t appear next to his family as a force ghost. That’s when my brother said what if he comes back to life? We then started discussing the possibility of Ben Solo coming back through the comics or other ancillary materials and maybe they left it opened ended as to what really happened to him. We were just talking and it made me feel better that maybe he could come back. Even if it’s in comic form or animated form, I would love it. But anywho not to get anyone’s hopes up lol, that was just our discussions.

Okay, that’s all I got for now, had to vent a bit lot. But overall if you enjoyed how everything played out in this film, I’m happy for you. I know that in time, I will be able to accept the movie. For now I will continue this fan fic with as much hope as I wish the movie had.

Thanks for reading. Please if you’re going to comment, don’t attack me. I would love to hear opinions but please keep everything nice and civil. Thanks guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be nice to me. We all need warm hugs!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets a new friend and goes to the Winter Formal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm sorry it's been a while since I updated. I had some family things to take care of. Fear not, I'm not dropping this story. Writing this story makes me feel happy and I hope it makes others happy. I put more mood pics at the beginning of the chapter to give you a feel of how I picture things. They are not exactly how I picture it but more of an inspiration. Anywho, thanks for reading!!

CHAPTER 16

Rey sat in front of a shiny mirror with lights reflecting back at her. She stared at her reflection and hardly recognized herself. She was wearing a silk robe and her hair was pulled up in dozens of pin curls. The process had hurt at first with Paige combing out every single knot in her hair. Piece by piece Paige had pinned up small pieces of her hair and placed this sticky stuff in it to keep it in place. Rey’s lips were slightly painted a faint pink to match her natural skin tone and she had small amounts of blush on her cheeks.

She didn’t look like herself and it disturbed her initially. She rejected the use of anything on her eyes. She didn’t want to be all painted up, she wanted to look and feel like herself. Paige of course had initially objected and stated that her eyes were the most important for drawing attention. Rey had scoffed at the idea and noted that she had no intention of drawing anyone in which resulted in Paige reluctantly let her keep her natural look.

Overall, Rey had not recognized herself. It scared her. Rose on the other hand had loved every minute of her sister’s makeover. And Rey found she couldn’t really hate on her for that. Rose looked so happy and she couldn’t help but feel satisfaction for helping bring that smile to her friend’s face.

Rose looked beautiful. From her hair, to her face, to her dress, she looked a vision. Paige had out done herself for her sister.

Rey was last to get ready.

Paige started to pull out the pins from Rey’s hair so that the curls would fall down perfectly styled around her flushed face. “Now remember, no messing up my masterpiece. Don’t mess with your hair, don’t pick at it, don’t pull at it, don’t even look at it, just let the curls be.” Rey nodded as Paige repeated her instructions over and over. It was almost threatening but she knew that Paige was only ensuring her hard work would last through the night.

Paige then spun her around and faced her away from the mirror. “Ok, so I don’t want you to see the finished product yet. I want you to be surprised. I’ll finish your hair and then we’ll get you dressed!” She sounded so excited and the pit in Rey’s belly began to grow.

Her nervousness was only an understatement. What if she made a complete fool of herself at the dance? What if she tripped on her heels or messed up her perfectly styled hair that Paige had spent hours on? What if she tripped while dancing and forgot all the moves?

Dancing……. Rey’s mind immediately jumped back to the day before when Ben Solo had taught her how to dance. She thought of the warm feeling in her body that she felt when being held by Ben, standing on top of his boots. How his soft voice had soothed something in her and how she didn’t want to leave his warmth. She hadn’t had time to process how she felt yesterday with Ben, she was too preoccupied about what happened after. And how the night had come crashing down from their encounter with Plutt.

The memory still stung like a burn in the back of her mind. The terror and embarrassment that she had felt. The guilt for having drug Ben into the situation made her feel worse. Something in her clenched as she recalled the last look she saw on his face as she was pulled away by Plutt. The sadness and agony he wore had made her heart clench. She had wanted to reassure him that she was ok and that she could handle herself.

As Paige pulled and pinned her hair, her thoughts were running rampant over everything that had happened yesterday. From the dance moves to the steps, to the walk home with Ben and everything that followed after.

Finally, after what felt like an hour Paige cleared her throat, “Oh my God, I have created a goddess divine.” She laughed as she stepped back and looked over Rey. “Rey, you are going to turn Poe’s head upside down.” Both her and Rose started giggling much to Rey’s discomfort as her nervousness only intensified.

“Alright, time to get you dressed. I think I’ve got the perfect dress for you.” Paige walked over to her closet and started sorting through the dozens of dresses she owned. She pulled out plenty of dresses that Rey could have worn, yet she refused all of them. Some were too revealing to her and others were over the top. Some she knew she was going to look ridiculous in. She didn’t know she was picky until Paige had insisted in pulling out every single dress she owned. 

“Rey! You have to pick one eventually!” Paige practically groaned in frustration after they had literally emptied her closet.

After what felt like an eternity of defeat. Rey spotted one last dress hanging in her closet. She walked over to it and felt the shiny fabric. It was tan, a color she was used to and decorated all over the dress were flower patterns. The flowers were light pink, blue, red and white. The skirt of the dress pleated out and it had tiny cap sleeves around the shoulders.

“This one!” She blurted. She pulled the dress out and held it before her.

“That one seriously! It’s so plain and it doesn’t match the season. The theme is Winter For- ow!” Rose elbowed her sister hard in the side to stop her from continuing.

“I think that dress is beautiful Rey, and if you love, I love it too.” Rose gushed as she narrowed her eyes at Paige to let her be.

Paige reluctantly rolled her eyes but let it go. If that was the dress Rey wanted, then that was the dress she would wear.

Paige sighed, “Alright, c’mon let’s get you into the dress.” She went back to her cheery self and both Tico sisters helped Rey dress.

Rey was then brought in front of the full-size mirror with her eyes covered by Paige. “Ok no peeking until I say open your eyes.” She was fully dressed now. Her hair was done and her wardrobe was complete.

“Wait! She needs one more piece.” Paige rushed to her drawer and pulled out an old barrette with a tiny beige flower in the middle. Rose giggled as she covered her friend’s eyes and her sister went on her last minute mission to perfect her work.

“Since you remind me of a beautiful desert flower. I thought this would look perfect in your hair.” Paige picked up a few pieces of Rey’s curls and waved them with the clip. It made her curls stick up more and the wavs fell perfectly around her head and face.

“Ok open your eyes on three. One, two, three!!” The Tico sisters gushed as they removed their hands and Rey opened her eyes in front of the mirror.

Shock and terror immediately ran through her blood. She did not recognize the girl starring back at her. She would have thought it was an illusion if it weren’t for the two girls shaking her by the arms and gushing.

“Is…..is that me?” Rey whispered the words as the Tico sisters starred at her in disbelief.

“Of course Rey! It’s you. I don’t mean to brag but I think I out did myself this time.” Paige cracked her knuckles and stretched. “Nobody will outshine my sisters today.”

Rose laughed but Rey starred deeply into her reflection. She never thought she could look this pretty. Never. Never thought that she would one day where a pretty dress and look like a real lady for once. She always felt she was plain, nothing special to her.

What she saw now scared her. The girl looking back at her was not Rey. But she figured just for tonight, she could be the girl in the mirror and pretend the scavenger inside didn’t exist. It reminded her of that old fairytale she would hear the other kids in the streets talk about. The one with the poor maid being transformed into a princess for one night and the glass slippers.

Her lips began to tremble…..and she started shaking.

“Rey?”

Her eyes became glassy and it was Paige who her caught her first tear with her finger. “Oh no you don’t! You will not ruin my work with your tears young lady! No crying today. You are going to go to your ball. Dance with prince charming. Maybe share a kis-”

“Paige!” Rose bellowed.

“What! And then you can come home and cry. But not now princess. Right now is the happy part with butterflies in your stomach.”

She suddenly busted out laughing with tears much to Paige’s horror. Luckly she hadn’t completely ruined her face and Paige was able to fix and dab where needed.

“Sorry,” Rey sniffed. “I’ve just never felt so pretty.” She gently swayed her dress back and forth with a big smile on her face.

A car horn suddenly went off outside and all three girls jumped at the sound. “Oh! Looks like the carriage is here.” Paige winked at the girls as she ran off to answer the knock at the door that soon followed the car horn.

Rey starred at herself in the mirror again. She had a satisfied look at herself and found that the dress she had chosen was in fact plain. That didn’t matter though to her. She still felt like a princess…for once in her life.

“Finn’s here.” Paige came running back to the girl’s room. “And he looks dashing.” She smiled mischievously at Rose.

“Now remember,” Paige said lowly as she bent her head towards the girls in a serious manner, “Boys only want-”. She cut herself off before she could continue. “They can get handsy.” Her voice was stern and Rey suddenly wondered where her train of thought was going. “Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. Do you girls hear me?”

“Paige!” Rose practically yelled as a whisper. “Finn and Poe would never try anything to hurt us. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Rey’s cheeks suddenly turned bright red.

“I know, but just be careful. I know you guys are smart and NOT stupid, but it doesn’t mean boys aren’t.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Can we go now ‘silly Pea’.”

“Don’t call me that! You know I hate that nickname.” Paige bellowed in embarrassment.

“Well then stop embarrassing us.” Rose stuck her tongue out at her sister and grabbed Rey to leave the room.

When they hit the entrance to the front door of the house, Rose stopped dead in her tracks. Finn was standing outside on the porch with flowers in his hand as he waited for her. She took a small step outside and Finn turned at the motion. His eyes immediately went wide as he took her in.

Rey smiled and stepped back behind her friend to let her have her moment. His eyes were glued to Rose and he couldn’t help himself from looking up and down. He was practically gaping at her and Rey and Paige giggled. “Maybe we should get him a handkerchief to wipe off all that drool.” Paige snickered and Rose turned to throw daggers at her sister.

Rey smiled and tried to hide behind Paige.

“Rose,” Finn cleared his throat, “You look wonderful, amazing I mean…um yeah you look, you look….”

“Beautiful.” Paige whispered so loudly to the wind to finish Finn’s sentence and he blushed furiously.

Rose flinched and turned towards her sister with an evil glare.

“Sorry, it’s my job to embarrass her whenever possible.” Paige whispered lowly to Rey as she laughed quietly again.

“These are for you. I thought you would like them.” Finn handed Rose the flowers and she blushed as their hands touched.

“Thanks Finn, they’re beautiful.” They smiled at each other for a long time before Finn cleared his throat. “Well, shall we, your carriage awaits.” He pointed to the shiny convertible that Rey had seen last time she visited the Calrissians. “I’m sorry that was a stupid cheesy thing to say. I-”

“No it waaaasn’t.” Paige whispered loudly again as Rose could not help giggle this time at her sister’s shenanigans.

“Let’s just go.” Rose rolled her eyes at her peering sister and Rey stepped forward.

“Peanut! Look at you. All ready for Poe.” Finn winked and she blushed.

“Oh she’s ready alright.” Paige teased.

“Speaking of Poe,” Rose started, “Where is he? I thought we would all be going together?”

“Oh sorry, about that.” A guilty look crossed his face. “The Chevy convertible is only a two seater. We couldn’t all fit into one car. Poe said he would pick you up in his own car.”

A sudden weight fell into the lowest part of Rey’s belly, like a giant rock. She would have to ride alone with Poe to the dance….

Rose instantly noticed the panic on her face as did Finn. “Peanut,” Finn started, “You can ride with Rose and I’ll drive up with him if you want.”

“No,” Rey blurted, “You two go on ahead. I’ll catch up, I promise.” She did her best to hide her fear. She didn’t want to separate Finn and Rose. Not after they looked so happy. How could she. She knew what she signed up for when she asked Poe to the dance. It was time to pay the price for her sacrifice. And so far it was paying off for Finn and Rose. Besides, it wasn’t like a date or anything. They had all agreed to go together and her Poe were supposed to be going as friends….

They both reluctantly hugged Rey goodbye with Finn offering to ride with Poe one last time. Rey insisted she would be fine and sent the two love birds off.

Once they had driven down the street, Paige had come to stand by her. “I know what you did.” She stated lowly. “How you’re doing this for my sister and not so much for yourself. It seems like you’re not too excited over this Poe guy.”

Rey sighed and gave a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s very brave of you and nice. Rose told me about the deal for the dance. It sounds utterly ridiculous, Poe trapped you into going. But you did it for my sister……thank you. It really does mean the world to her Rey. You are a true friend to her and I wish I had friends like you back in high school.” She leaned on her for support.

Rey huffed, “I would do it again if I could. Her smile was worth it.” Despite the night that was ahead of her. She knew that Rose would get her dream dance. As cheesy and over ridiculous as the whole thing seemed, Rey liked making her friends happy. Regardless of what avenue of sacrifice it came from. 

Paige laughed, “It really was. I haven’t seen her so happy before. This is her night.”

After a few minutes, a car drove up to the front of the house and none other than Poe Dameron stepped out.

When Rey came out and saw him she initially blushed. He looked as handsome and as dashing as she had ever seen him. His hair was slicked back and his suit was perfect. He wore a big grin on his face as he took Rey in.

“Rey…you look beautiful darling.” He said as he eyed her up and down.

“T-thanks. You too.”

Poe laughed and she cringed internally. She hadn’t believed that she had just said that to him.

“Maybe the night won’t be so bad. He’s more handsome than I thought.” Paige whispered in Rey’s ear as she turned with a mischievous grin and walked back into the house.

Rey was blushing furiously, not because of his compliment but because of what she said back to it. Poe propped up his arm for her to take as they walked towards the car. Somehow the gesture had reminded her of yesterday. When Ben had offered her his arm during the cold walk home. Except this time when she took Poe’s, she felt no warmth.

Poe opened the car door for her and turned to face her. “Rey, we have to make one stop before the dance. I have to admit, I’m a complete fool! I left your flowers at the house and my corsage. Do you mind if we take a quick pit stop. I feel guilty and it took me forever to pick your flowers.” His eyes roved over her with a pleading look. It was almost guilty and she could tell he felt bad for not initially bringing her the flowers.

She didn’t want him to feel bad and smiled lightly. “Of course Poe. Please don’t feel guilty. I’m not worth any flowers.” It was true, she didn’t feel worthy of receiving something like flowers.

Poe stared at her in confusion. “What do you mean, of course you are. You’re worth every flower.” He gave a contagious smile that she couldn’t help but smile back to. “Let’s go darling. We got some flowers to pick.”

The drive to his house was not quiet. Poe was quite the chatter box, but Rey didn’t mind it. It kept her from having to talk too much. And he was good at it. It actually felt nice talking with him. He kept everything surface level and didn’t dwell too much on the fact that they were technically on a date? Rey was grateful.

They turned the corner onto Chandrila street and she instantly recognized the park. That’s when it hit her like a train. They were going to Ben’s home, Mayor Organa’s house! She wondered what it would be like. How grand it would be. What if the madam mayor was there herself! How wonderful it would be to meet her. A woman of power, the first female mayor this country has ever seen. She was starting to fan girl out with excitement.

After a few houses down they came up to a large metal gate. Trees covered up the large estate and Rey could only imagine how large the property must be.

The guard instantly recognized Poe and opened the gate. After driving through a canopy of trees, the large house came into display.

Her jaw almost hit the ground. Before her eyes was not a house but a mansion. It was white with large pillars extending around the entire house. The white marble pillars extended from the ground up till they hit the roof. There was an outdoor balcony which extended around the entire second floor. The windows were large and wide with dark shutters. Rey thought her heart would stop at the magnificent home before her.

Poe drove up to the front of the house and parked, but she never took her eyes off the giant pillars.

“It’s kind of cold out here. You want to wait inside while I grab the stuff?”

Rey nodded with her mouth open starring up at the grand house before her.

Poe chuckled, “C’mon I’ll show you inside.”

Rey walked down the cobblestone path way in awe, like she was walking into a large castle. She felt so tiny and intimated by the sheer size of the house. Maybe she really was in a fairytale tonight.

As they entered the large double doors Rey was greeted by a housekeeper. He was an elderly man with gold metal teeth and a gold cane.

“That’s CP short for Threepio. He’s an Italian, been in the family for a long time.”

Rey waved at the man and he smiled.

“Wait here woncha, I wish I could show you around more but we might be running out of time.”

Rey nodded and stood at the bottom of the grand staircase that twisted around and lead to the second and third floors. She watched Poe climb the stairs and disappear into one of the large hallways.

She looked all around the house and took in every single detail. The beautiful paintings and décor, the lush glass vases and the beautiful tapestry. She looked up and realized you could see the top of the house all the way up to the third floor. Above the grand staircase was a giant glass chandelier. The lights twinkled and it looked like she was looking up into the stars. “_So this is what castles must look like_,” Rey laughed to herself, “…_And money_….”

The stairs were made of marble and she decided to climb a few. Her curiosity was killing her and she wanted to explore the mayor’s “castle”. Her heels echoed on the staircase and she realized too soon that it would appear that she was snooping around. Her foot steps echoed and she turned around to rush back down. When she turned however, she was greeted by a woman’s voice that made her yelp out loud.

The woman laughed. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to scare you.”

Rey clutched her hand to her chest and stared the woman in the eyes. She was no ordinary woman. She was older to be sure, but carried herself with so much pride that it made her seem younger. Her hair was slightly greyed and she wore a gentle smile on her face.

“You must be Rey.” The older woman said with an amused look. Her voice was raspy yet powerful. Rey still had her hand clutched to her chest, embarrassment and shame was clear on her face.

“There’s no need to be ashamed, I did the same thing when I first laid eyes on these stairs.” Her eyes drifted to an old memory that Rey could not see as she looked over the staircase.

She instantly walked down the few stairs she had taken and bowed her head nervously before the woman. “I’m sorry ma’am. I did not mean to disturb your home please forgive me for my imprudence.”

The woman laughed. “Imprudence, hah, please don’t trouble yourself darling. There’s no need.” The older woman came closer and Rey put her head up to face her. “My name is Leia, Leia Organa.”

Mayor Organa! Rey thought she would faint. “M-mmayor Organa!” She blurted. “As in thee mayor, of this city.”

“Yes ma’am, that’s me.”

“Mayor Organa, it’s, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. I mean, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to meet you.” She started blabbering on but couldn’t believe she was in the same room as the woman.

“Leia is just fine. And, what made you want to meet me?” She smiled warmly at Rey.

“I…I just thought it was amazing that a woman had become mayor. Especially today, where it’s difficult to find a place in society.”

“You’re right, it was difficult in today’s society. But that never stopped me. And it should never stop you.” There was so much wisdom in her eyes that Rey could not help but soak it all in.

“Leia!?” Poe’s voice boomed from the second floor. “Where are the flowers I brought in earlier today?” He sounded like a helpless boy looking for his lost toy.

Leia sighed, “There in the library, Threepio moved them there earlier and placed them in water.” Leia had hollered back as best as she could.

“I tell you these boys of mine are going to be the end of me.” Leia joked and Rey could not help the giggles that escaped her. She was starstruck in her presence and overwhelmed. She liked mayor Organa, very much. There was something to her demeanor and character that made her feel attracted to her.

“Anyway, you look like a vision sweetheart. Too pretty, you’ll be the prettiest girl at the dance.” She winked at Rey as she left to answer the phone call that had rung during their conversation.

Rey stared in disbelief at the grand clock against the wall as it was ticking back and forth. She couldn’t believe she had just met the mayor. She concluded that she was a genuine person, didn’t treat her differently because of her status. She wondered if Leia would like her if she knew the truth about her life. Would she pity her? Treat her differently? At least this was her first encounter and impression with the older woman. At least she felt like she looked like a princess while meeting her for the first time.

Rey’s thoughts were running rampant as usual when she heard a deep voice boom from the top of the staircase.

“Rey??”

She instantly turned and looked up to see who had called her. It was none other than Ben Solo. They’re eyes instantly locked from across the chasm of the staircase. Shock and unbelief was written all over his face. He froze and stared at her for a few long seconds. She thought it was because she was here, in his house, unannounced.

But…the way he took slow methodic steps down the top of the stairs made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. He didn’t even look down once when he started moving slowly down the steps towards her.

His eyes stayed on her and never left. His lips slightly parted as he started at her in awe, like he was seeing the sun for the first time. It was almost like he was in a trance and she was the source of it.

Rey instantly thought of the look that Finn had just given Rose earlier and wondered if this was the same. She thought she would feel dread but instead she felt warmth gather in her belly.

He was wearing nothing more than a simple pair of pants and that same black sweater from yesterday when they had danced. She suddenly felt small as he came down the stairs towards her, small in this big house, at the bottom of his staircase.

When Ben finally reached the midway point he stopped. He starred down at her and she stared up at him. His hair was a bit wild, not combed like usual and for some reason she wanted to run her fingers through it to fix it…or so she told herself. 

“Rey,” he practically breathed. It was more of a desperate whisper.

She found her heart beating in her chest as he eyed her from head to toe. She saw the moment he gained composure of his trance and smiled down at her.

“You’re highness.” He bowed the upper half of his body and smirked when he came back up. Mirth in his eyes.

Rey let out a shuddering laugh of disbelief. She could not believe what she was feeling. She was feeling like a princess starring up at some sort of prin-

She instantly stopped her train of thought. How could she think that? No, she didn’t allow herself to finish that thought. There was nothing like that to Ben.

He had walked towards her with such purpose, it almost seemed dreamlike. But she would not allow herself to believe that that was his intention.

Rey decided to play along to soothe her turning thoughts. She curtsied before him while holding up the sides of her dress. She had a silly face the whole time and couldn’t keep a straight face.

He then busted into a laugh and Rey could not help but laugh back.

“Sorry, that was a bit ridiculous. I just thought it was funny.” Rey looked down and laughed again as she played with the fabric from her dress.

“Hey I bowed first. You only followed.” Ben then came closer until he was standing a few steps above her.

His face turned serious again and he swallowed thickly. The intensity of his stare may her feel like he was burning holes through her. Except the burns didn’t hurt.

“You look beautiful Rey.” She looked up at him and found that the lights from the chandelier above were reflecting on him. He wore a small smile and it made him more alluring somehow.

It was then that Rey had allowed herself to admit something she had been denying for a while now. As she stared up at him in amazement, she concluded and allowed herself to admit that Ben Solo was the most handsome boy she had ever known. The light always did things to him whenever it shone on him. It was like the light would change him somehow…

He cleared his throat, “Are you ready for the dance?” He asked the question but his mind seemed far away. Like he didn’t really want to ask the question but felt obligated to. She thought it was strange.

She cleared her own throat, “Yes. But, I’m still worried.”

“Worried?”

“You know about the dancing. I feel like I’m going to make a fool of myself.”

He stepped closer towards her. “Rey, you’re going to be fine. You did amazing yesterday. Just think of the moves we practiced and you’ll do great.”

She looked down, “Perhaps, I won’t forget everything. But, I still feel inadequate. I feel like it’s easier when I have the right partner.”

“I,… I’m sure your partner will be fine.” His voice strained like he was hesitant to continue his sentence. 

“I wish we could have practiced more.”

After a few long seconds, Rey was vaguely aware that a hand had suddenly stretched out towards her. She looked up and saw Ben smiling down at her with his hand extended towards her.

“Shall we have one final practice.” There was a glint in his eyes that made her smile. She hesitated at first but took his hand. It was so warm and she instantly felt that familiar heat spread through her. He guided her up to the second floor staircase where it was flat. He never let go of her hand.

He started leading her through a series of dance steps that they had practiced prior. She never made one mistake or forgot the moves as he led her. There was no music, yet the rhythm between them flowed perfectly. Rey started to enjoy her final practice and found herself giggling as Ben spun her around. Ben chuckled in return and eventually they were both smiling like idiots as they danced under the big chandelier. She could hear the music playing in her head and somehow she knew that he could too.

In a strange way, the moment felt dreamlike and blissful, she was actually feeling happy as Ben spun her around. She felt more than like a princess dancing, she felt free.

Rey had suddenly spun too hard and tripped her heels on the carpet rug. She was about to fall backwards down the stairs when Ben pulled her in towards him. He looked panicked at first but then she started laughing.

His eyes lit up at the sound of her laughter and he was suddenly thrown into a trance again. Rey looked up at him and her laughter faltered. He was still holding her hands from the dance and they were much closer than before. He stared down at her with eyes blown wide.

His eyes traced the small curls that had fallen from her hair and onto her cheek.

He let go of her hand and his reached towards her face. Her breathed hitched as she saw his hand extending so gently towards the curls that had fallen out of place. With lips parted, his hand was shaking and he was mere inches from touching her wavy curls. He was about to brush the curl away from her rosen cheek when someone cleared their throat loudly.

They both instantly jumped away from each other. Rey instantly felt the moment that his heat left her. And suddenly felt cold.

They turned to see Poe, standing across from them, with roses in his hand and a confused look written on his face.

“Ugh, did I miss something here?” He sounded amused yet irritated at the same time. Rey could tell he looked lost.

“Oh! Umm, Ben was just showing me some dances for the dance tonight. I’m not the best dancer and he was helping me practice, that’s all.” She had no idea why she sounded so rushed and nervous. Maybe it was because of the awkwardness that was descending quickly.

“I just showed her a few steps, that’s all.” Ben shrugged and tried to act casual as he looked down at his shoes.

“Right.” Poe narrowed his eyes at Ben and shot him a quick glare.

Ben looked away.

“Anywho,” Poe cleared his throat, “I’m glad you got to practice. Because there’s going to be lots of dancing tonight.” He went back to being his cheery self and handed Rey the bouquet of roses. “These are for you darling, I thought you might like them.” He gave her a big toothy grin.

She reached out and took the bouquet from him. The roses were beautiful and she didn’t know what to say. No one had ever given her flowers before, she wasn’t sure what to do with them.

“No ones ever given me flowers before.” For some reason her voice became thick. “Thank you, they are beautiful.”

“Just like you.” He leaned towards her and picked up her hand to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She blushed furiously and stared at him in shock.

She heard Ben snort and could practically feel him rolling his eyes at the scene before him. He put his head down and stared at the floor. His eyes which were once alert seemed distant and far.

“Shall we head out?” Poe asked as he released her hand.

She cleared her throat as she snatched her hand back. “Yes, I think we should.” She then turned to look at Ben.

“Thank you for the lesson.”

Their eyes met again except this time his were saddened. He looked between her and Poe and she could see that he was analyzing something in his head. He nodded once and abruptly made his way up the stairs.

Rey found his movements jarring. It was like he became cold and distant the moment Poe had interrupted them. She tried to swallow her guilt, wondering if she had somehow disrupted his thoughts. She didn’t like the cold and distant face he wore as he climbed the stairs to leave. She wanted him to come back somehow but didn’t know why.

Poe then led her down the stairs to leave. When they reached the bottom she turned one last time to see if Ben was still there only to have their eyes meet again. He was looking down at her like he had yesterday with Plutt, like he wanted to pull her back to him.

Rey instantly looked away, too ashamed to see him like that yet again.

***

The drive to the dance had been quiet for the first few minutes. Rey had wondered if it was because of what happened with Ben earlier. Did Poe not like her dancing with Ben? Did he think anything of it? After thinking about it she concluded she didn’t care, none of it mattered anyway. They were all just friends and she had intended on keeping it that way.

The silence in the car was broken by Poe. “You know,” he cleared his throat, “You could have just told me you didn’t know how to dance.”

Rey turned to face him.

“I’m an excellent dancer. Leia taught me the best.”

She soaked in this new information and decided that her recent suspicions might have been true. That Leia did make Poe learn to dance and it might have been on top of the Falcon like Ben. She stayed quiet as she pondered if Poe was in on the family’s secrets as well.

“I tried to convince him to come you know.”

She kept her eyes on Poe. “He was asked by Nettie to go to the dance, but he refused her offer. I told him he should still come and that he would have fun with the rest of us. But he was being bullheaded. He can be so frustrating at times.” He rolled his eyes and kept them straight ahead.

“Why did he refuse her?” She could not help herself from asking.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Nettie’s a pretty girl, on the outside, but not so much on the inside. I know you may think I’m superficial Rey when it comes to girls. But even I can see through people like her.” 

Rey stayed quiet. She didn’t think ill of Poe. But she didn’t deny that he had assumed correctly about him being superficial with girls. She couldn’t lie to him, she couldn’t lie to her friend.

He took her silence as a confirmation. “I just want to let you know Rey that I’m not being superficial with you. I didn’t want to go to the dance with you just because. I wanted to have a good time and I thought you deserved to have one too.” He turned to her and gave a small pleading grin.

She smiled back and gave him a guilty look. “I’m sorry that I thought you as superficial-”

“Don’t apologize. Let’s just forget I brought it up.” He cut her off and abruptly reached for her hand. He placed his hand on top of hers.

Rey flinched. She wasn’t comfortable with him touching her hand right now but decided to let him be. She didn’t want to injure him any further. He was being open and genuine with her and she didn’t want to hurt her friend.

The car grew silent and she couldn’t think of what to say next. Without thinking she blurted the next words out of her mouth. “What’s it like being his ‘brother’?”

Poe scoffed. “Difficult, he can be very difficult and moody. Moody as hell! But….he still treated me like a brother since the day when we met as kids. Granted we have never gotten along well. But that didn’t mean we weren’t ‘brothers’”.

Rey thought about everything he had just told her. “Why was he so moody?”

“You know,” he sighed, “Just family things and it grew worse within the last few years…”. His voice strained and took a dark edge.

She was about to open her mouth to continue the conversation when she was cut off by him. “It’s really not my place to discuss this with you. Somethings are better left unsaid. There are things you don’t about the Solo family and I suggest it stays that way.”

Rey recoiled from how fast the conversation had turned dark. She wanted with all her might and soul to ask him what he means about things left unsaid.

A memory suddenly came back to her. It was the memory of the first diner she had with the Calrissians. She remembered Lando saying something similar about the Solo family and how things had changed with them. There was a sadness and dark edge to Lando when he discussed it as well.

Overall, she knew Poe was right. It was not her place to know about another family’s issues, despite her achingly growing curiosity. 

Poe cleared his throat and decided to change the subject to a more brighter one. He went back to talking too much and the car ride had suddenly seemed a lot faster. Within 10 minutes they were at the dance and Rey was walking in with Poe.

***

The dance had turned out to be a success for everyone. Finn and Rose got to dance throughout the night and they both had smiles on their faces the whole time. Rey could see that something was changing between them and smiled knowing that she somehow had a part in that. She herself had actually enjoyed the night as well. The lights, the music, the band, the decorations were all perfectly festive. She felt like she was transported to a different world. And the people/friends she was with made it so much more enjoyable. There was jokes and laughter and overall everyone was just plain happy.

Surprisingly Rey was able to keep up with Poe on the dance floor. She got to dance with Finn as well and felt more at ease with him. Poe was being overly charming and flirty, but it didn’t ruin her night. It was more of an awkward nuisance. Later in the dance, the four of them had taken a photo together at the concession booth. The photographer had promised that they would receive a copy during graduation. Rey hoped she could get a copy to remember the night. It was something she didn’t want to forget. She cherished these happy moments because they could always be taken away. She tended to cherish things more when there was a chance that it could leave you forever.

Rey was overall happy with the dance. Despite not making a total fool of herself and fitting in well with the crowd, there was still something off inside of her. There was this feeling or pit in her gut like something was missing about tonight. The missing feeling started from the moment she entered the dance hall until the moment it was over. It stayed in the back of her mind, not coming to acknowledgement, she wanted to have a good time and not think about what was bothering her.

However, it came to light the moment that Poe had pulled her onto the dance floor for a slow dance. As the band’s music swelled and Poe held her, it was then that she realized what was missing. It hit her like a rock in the forehead and she felt stiff in his arms. She was angry at herself for allowing her mind to admit what she had been avoiding all night.

These weren’t the arms she had wanted while she danced. Her mind drifted off to another pair of arms. Ones that were much larger, much warmer and much softer. Arms that could hold her and lift her easily from a plane. Arms that could catch her whenever she fell and fainted out of a chair. Arms that made her feel warm and safe.

The song that she and Ben had danced to on top of the Falcon suddenly began to play by the band. The song was still slow but with no singer. The music and melody felt empty and cold to Rey. She couldn’t keep up with the rhythm and turned her head towards Poe’s shoulder. She felt like she was falling apart until she closed her eyes and allowed Ben’s humming to play in her mind.

She imagined that it was Ben holding her and not Poe. She allowed the memory of his sweet humming to feel her mind until she could practically hear it in her ears. It was only then that her rhythm returned and her steps fell into place.

Rey’s eyes became glassy as she finally admitted the truth to herself. What the problem had been the entire night.

It was another’s arms she had wanted not Poe’s……..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Okay so for those who are wondering where this story is going. It's going somewhere trust me. There are elephants in the room that haven't been addressed yet in the story that will be in the next couple of upcoming chapters. Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has her first real Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter is long overdue, I've had it done for a bit but kept revising it and revising it. The next chapter won't be till next month. Unfortunately between school and work, I can't update as much as I'd like to. I graduate this semester and can't wait to be done!  
Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise this story is going somewhere. A bit of angst in the chapter but not much. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 17

It had been a few weeks since the dance past. Winter was in full swing now and so was the news about the war overseas. Every single newspaper that Rey could get her hands on she saved. She was desperate for news about the condition of London and to her small hope Jakku. Every article was nothing but a new horror to add to her nightmares. How was she ever going to find her parents now? She cried each night whenever a new story came out in the paper about the war overseas. It became a custom routine to her…

Christmas was only a few days away and winter break was approaching quickly. Rey would be spending Christmas with the Calrissians. This was going to be her first real Christmas with dinner and decorations. Plutt had never celebrated or even allowed her to celebrate Christmas. There were many Christmases spent that she would much rather forget, especially the ones where she had starved. 

Rey had never received a Christmas present before in her life nor had she given one. She didn’t even know presents were supposed to be given until she heard people in the stores searching for gifts around Christmas time. She almost made an excuse not to accept Finn’s invitation to Christmas dinner, but he had assured her not to worry about presents. All she had to do was show up. She still felt the shame of not being able to afford anything and instead used up some of her savings to bring one of Maz’s famous pies.

Things were starting to change amongst her group of friends, especially with Finn and Rose. Something had changed the day of the dance between the two of them. They were much more closer than before and spent more time together. Finn would find little ways to get closer to Rose and often doted on her. Though they were not an official item, Rey could see the change amongst the two of them.

Poe of course was as lively as ever and still had his eyes set on Rey. She had no idea how to handle his whims, no boy had ever given her attention before. There were so many other prettier girls in the school. How in the world could he possibly show interest in her? What exactly made her so alluring as to gain his attention. She was completely lost and out of her element. Not wishing to injure her friend, she did her best to ignore his recent flirtatious advances.

And then there was Ben…. .

For some reason whenever Rey thought about him, her thoughts became all twisted and fuzzy. She couldn’t pinpoint how she felt about him, it all felt convoluted. His character was so jarring at times. One minute he could be extremely quiet and the next minute in an excited conversation with Poe about something random. He hardly smiled which was a real shame Rey thought and wasn’t afraid to give his opinion on subjects, even if it was harsh. Poe had been exceedingly right about him, he was extremely moody. Who would know better than someone who lives in the same house as him or better yet same family.

However, he was never moody with Rey. In fact, she and Ben had actually been conversating more since the day of the dance. Sometimes their conversations came naturally especially when talking about literature and other times she could tell that he had to think before speaking. He would get this nervous tick to his jaw before thinking of what to say next. She found it humorous really, it was like she was learning his body language and facial movements to the point where she could tell if he wanted to say something or not. It frightened her how much she studied him. He could be so easy to read and other times not so easy. It was like he was a book of emotions that only she could read. Each chapter had something different and almost unpredictable.

There was something about the way that Ben would look at her sometimes that made her skin tingle. Often times she would catch him staring and observing her. At first it annoyed her, to the point where she wanted to call him out on it, but then she became curious. More than once her mind had drifted back to the day at his house where they had danced on the staircase. That moment for some reason stuck with Rey and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She thought about the actual dance and how cold she had felt in Poe’s arms.

Whenever her thoughts betrayed her and she remebered Ben’s arms, she forcefully pushed those silly thoughts to the back of her mind where they belonged. She had no right to daydream about Ben’s arms regardless of how they made her feel. Regardless of how she secretly missed the thought of them giving her warmth. She was still a scavenger to him, a nobody. Though they were now cordial and dare she say friends, it still didn’t erase their rough start. No matter how hard Rey tried to ignore her silly notions about him. And then there was this mystery surrounding his past. What did everyone know about Ben Solo and his family that she didn’t?

***

Today was the last day of school before Christmas break. Rey entered the school yard as the bell rang and caught up with Rose as they headed to class.

The short yet sweet day had passed uneventfully. Since it was the last day of class before winter break, school was letting out early. Mrs. Tano decided to let the students have a small Christmas party instead of lecture in class. The students were more than thrilled since there was music and Christmas treats. There was a long dessert table by the classroom window filled with cookies, chocolate, and every other sweet thing that is supposed to be eaten on Christmas. Rey naturally attacked the dessert table. She had a sweet tooth on her and intended to stuff as many treats in her mouth as she could.

“So, what’s everyone doing for Christmas?!” Poe started as he shoved baked sprinkle cookies in his mouth.

Finn laughed, “My family has Christmas dinner planned. I’m not sure much else.”

“Urgh me too. Except madam mayor is inviting these dignitaries to our Christmas feast.” He groaned as he shoved another cookie in his mouth. “There a bunch of stuffy people. But they do it as this sort of charity thing.”

Rey saw Ben stiffen as Poe brought up the dinner. Apparently he didn’t like these dignitaries either.

“What about you Rose?” Finn nudged her in her seat.

“Hmm, we don’t really celebrate Christmas much, just some traditional dinner and maybe some lights. My mother loves Christmas lights and my father does this thing where he lights up the whole house. We usually light up candles everywhere. Some family will be joining us and Paige’s boyfriend of course and his family. Nothing much.” She sighed as she took a bite of her danish.

“And you darling?” Poe waved his hand in front of Rey’s face which was too pre-occupied with staring at her fudge before devouring it.

Rey snapped out of her trance and took a bite of her fudge bar. “Oh…um I’ll be spending it with the Calirissians.”

Both Rose and Ben snapped their attention to her as she told them what she would be doing for the holiday. Rose had initially seemed surprised but then quickly addressed it. “That’s, nice Rey. I’m sure you all will have fun.”

Something caught in the air between Rey and her friends. Rose appeared to seem a little anxious about Rey spending Christmas with Finn, but she trusted her friend. She knew that Rey thought of him as a brother, even if it did make her feel bad that she wouldn’t be able to spend Christmas with him.

Finn sensed that the others would question why she was spending it with him and his family. And interjected quickly. “Yeah, my family is having dinner and they invited others too. Maz and Chewie will be joining us and of a couple of Jannah’s friends.”

“Maz is coming?” Rey took another bite of her fudge.

“Yeah, she’s gonna make some of her strange foods.” Finn wrinkled his nose as he thought of her frog leg soup.

“Hey, I actually like her frog legs.”

“You’ll eat anything Poe, even if it’s the most unnatural thing ever.” Finn teased back.

“That’s not true. You guys just don’t know fine elegance when you see it. Maz has the most exotic dishes I’ve ever seen and not one has made me throw up.” Poe waved his cookie around as he made his point.

“I’ll agree with your there.” Rey interjected as she shoved the last piece of her fudge in her mouth and reached for another bar. The fudge bars were just too addicting, and since she never tasted anything so satisfying in her life, she decided to shove in as many as possible. She was acting like a selfish scavenger by eating all the chocolate but could care less.

“Easy there darling, you’ll devour all the fudge bars before lunch.” Poe laughed as Rey narrowed her eyes at him.

“Is that a challenge, cuz I plan on eating as much fudge as necessary.” She proceeded to shove another piece in her mouth and smiled mischievously.

Ben chuckled quietly and snorted. Poe looked up at him in surprise.

“Never mess with a girl and her chocolate.” Finn chuckled as he passed over his fudge bar to Rey. 

“Never.” Rose added.

Finn and Rose looked at each other and then laughed like there was some sort of inside secret between them.

“Alright class, time to pass out Christmas presents. For those of you who picked a name for the gift exchange, go ahead and find your gift under the tree! Once you get your gift, you’re free to go for the holidays.” Professor Tano hollered over the noisy classroom and plugged in an old cord that lit up the small Christmas tree in the corner.

The classroom erupted in cheers. “Welp! Better find out who got me!” Poe excitedly jumped from his chair as it flew back and lunged for the tree.

“Such a child.” Ben muttered under his breath as he shook his head.

“Well I guess it’s time to head out. I’ll meet you guys outside, since we’re not meeting at Maz’s today?” Rose asked.

“Yeah, maybe we could still meet up though sometime even if school is out for the break.” Finn looked around at his small group of friends and they all nodded except Rey. She was too busy staring at her fudge again. He sighed, “Ugh peanut, maybe you should slow down on those things?”

“Nope.” She simply replied as she swallowed a whole nother bar.

“Do you think we should stop her?” Finn questioned as he whispered to Rose.

“Nah,” she shook her head. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“I can hear you guys.” Rey muttered as she licked her lips.

They both laughed again.

Alright, I’ll meet you guys outside. Finn packed his stuff to head out, he seemed a bit anxious and Rey had a knowing smile plastered on her lips. He gave a nod to her and headed towards the classroom door when he called Rose over. Rey saw from the corner of her eye Finn pulling out a small gift and handing it to Rose. She smiled secretly to herself. She had known that Finn had picked Rose’s name and couldn’t wait to see her friend’s reaction.

During the exchange, Ben had disappeared and returned with a cup of water. “Here, you might need this.” He added softly as he placed the cup in front of her.

“Oh, uh thanks Ben.” She practically shoved the water down her itchy throat before reaching for another fudge bar. Ben smiled and looked away.

Everyone started exiting the classroom when professor Tano had called out to Rey. “Miss Plutt!” She waved her hand excitedly at her to come to the front.

“I’ll catch up with you later.” Ben hastily gathered his things and headed out quickly, so fast that she had hardly heard him murmur his sentence.

Rey then gathered her belongings and headed towards the front. “Did I do something?” She questioned Mrs. Tano and approached her like a frightened cat. Afraid that she had somehow messed up an assignment or something of that nature.

Mrs. Tano laughed at her. “No silly, I called you up here because there’s a gift here for you! Right there under the tree.” She pointed to a present wrapped in shiny red paper. A devilish grin on her face.

“What?” Rey practically choked out, her dry throat from the fudge didn’t help. “I, I didn’t participate in the class gift exchange. I didn’t put my name on the list.”

“Well there’s a tag that says ‘To Rey’ on a gift and there’s no other Rey in this school.”

She looked at her professor like she was crazy. There was no way she put her name down on that list. She practically tossed it to the student next to her when the class initially signed up.

“There has to be a mistake, I didn’t participate in the exchange. It wouldn’t be fair. I didn’t bring a gift!”

“Yeah well maybe ‘Santa Claus’ brought it, who knows kiddo. All I know is you got 5 minutes before class ends and I lock up the room and your gift stays here.” Mrs. Tano’s sassy remark was made more dramatic when she grabbed her key and placed in on her desk. A knowing smile still written on her face. “Either you pick up your gift now or when you come back from Christmas break.” With that she walked away to clean up the dessert table.

Rey scoffed and slowly turned to the small tree. With shaky hands she reached for the shiny present that was beautifully wrapped with a gold bow. When she picked it up, it was a bit heavier than expected. Attached was a small white tag with a Christmas reef on it. On the tag, her name was written in beautiful cursive. Penmanship she had recognized before but couldn’t place it.

Emotions started filling her and she instantly shoved the gift into her bag like it was burning hot coal. She turned to exit the classroom before her glassy eyes could betray her.

Finn, Rose and Poe were waiting for her outside in the school yard. “Where’s Ben?” She blurted the words before even thinking when she reached them. Why in the world was that the first thing she said to her friends.

Poe shrugged, “I don’t know, said he had something to catch up on and head out quickly. You guys ready to head out.”

Everyone nodded and started down the lawn to exit the school. Rey however kept her eyes forward like she was in a daze. She couldn’t believe someone had actually brought her a present. The gift in her bag was burning like hot iron, like some secret she was trying not to expose. She wasn’t sure if she should bring it up and tell her friends about it. She didn’t even know why she was hiding it in the first place. Should she tell them?

Her emotions were in a funny place and she was afraid to bring up the secret hiding in her bag. She didn’t trust herself or her emotions. Not wishing to make a scene, Rey kept quiet and did not say a word about it. She didn’t even know who had given it to her anyways. Finn would have said something if it was him and so would have Poe. Rose most definitely would have mentioned it and probably would have handed it herself and made her open it in front of her. The giver was still a mystery that she couldn’t solve. Perhaps once she opened it, she would find out.

Rey parted quickly from her friends to head to work early. Or so she told herself. Truth was, she wanted to unwrap the gift and solve this mystery before then. A block or so from the shop she sat down by a tree in the orchard. The snow was piled high and falling lightly. She didn’t care that it was cold, her body was already feeling heavy from carrying and hiding the Christmas gift.

Her hands shook as she reached for the present and slowly pulled it out. After eyeing it for a considerable amount of time, she began to tear the Christmas paper. She felt guilty tearing the beautiful shiny paper, it almost felt like a sin. A sin ready to be committed if it meant finding out what the present was and who had given it.

As Rey unwrapped her gift, she realized it was a book. The book was hardcover, blue on the body and beige on the hinging. Beautiful floral designs were etched into the hinging with the words _Pride and Prejudice _etched in the middle.

Rey’s breath hitched and her lips quivered as she felt the cover. The book’s cover was beautiful, from the color to the design. She slowly opened it to the first page and noticed the message that was written on the inside of the cover.

“**_Dear Rey,_**

** _I’m glad you changed your mind about Mr. Darcy._ **

** _ Ben Solo_ **

A shuddering laugh escaped her as she re-read his words. Shock and unbelief that Ben had been the culprit. Rey threw her head back and started laughing. Tears fell as she did and small hiccups escaped her throat. She thought about the irony in his message and how they had initially fought over the book’s character. She was breathing rapidly in the cold air but could not stop laughing.

After a short time, she finally gained controlled of herself and wiped the mess that had blurred her vision. She stared down at the beautiful writing and placed her fingers over it. Tears threatened to fall again as she held her very first Christmas present in her hands, hell her very first real present ever. No one in her life had ever given her a Christmas present. “_Is this what all presents felt like? Is this how you were supposed to respond on Christmas day?” _Rey’s thoughts swam in her imagination. She cradled the book close to her chest and could not help herself from weeping again softly.

With her eyes shut, her mind drifted to the Christmases where she had roamed the streets scavenging for something to eat because Plutt was a selfish waste of flesh. She remembers seeing the brightly lit windows she would pass by and the families gathering around a shiny tree with gifts flowing from the stem. The little boys and girls who got teddy bears, dolls and tricycles. The joy in the parent’s eyes as they watch their children open and play.

Oh how she hated it. Hated watching and longing, wishing she could just open the gift but not actually keep it. If she could at least one time just open the Christmas wrapping and then give the gift back just to experience tearing the paper. Rey felt the walls of her past closing in on her, on her mind.

She cradled her first Christmas present now like it was a lifeline. Not wanting to let it go, just wanting to bottle up the moment’s feeling for later use. Finally, she composed herself and cleaned up as best as she could. Enough weeping already. She stretched and headed out for work with the book pressed close to her heart.

_“Why? Why Ben Solo_.” A fraction of Rey still wanted to hate him. She wanted to so bad for how he initially treated her. But everything in her in this moment would not allow it. She didn’t deserve his kindness and she knew that. From the warm coat she currently wore on her back to the very book she held in her hand, she knew she could never repay him. Still, his kindness was increasingly overwhelming. Did he feel sorry for her? Did he pity her? Did he really care?

Whatever it was, Rey could not hate him for it now.

***

Christmas Day

Dinner at the Calrissians had so much festivity that Rey wished she could have Christmas dinner every day. There was so much food, drinks, music, laughter and flat out silliness that she never knew existed in Lando. Christmas music was consistently blaring on the record player and people were constantly moving everywhere. People, visitors moving in and out. Finn said it was supposed to be just a dinner, but this was anything far from it. It was more of a party that lasted all day long.

Lando had some eccentric friends and visitors to be sure, but they were overall good people. Some of the visitors reminded her of the gypsies she would see back home in Jakku. She was always fascinated by them and could see where Lando received inspiration for his taste in attire. His taste in capes and wraps reminded her of gypsies.

Rey later opened presents with Finn and Jannah. She initially panicked when they brought out gifts for her, but they did their best to reassure her. They knew she couldn’t bring any but still wanted to give her something special for her first real Christmas. Jannah had given her a red scarf with beading while Finn a new bag for school. Rey naturally broke down like she did with her gift from Ben. Ashamed to have cried in front of Finn, Jannah and their adoptive family.

“Crying means you like it.” Lando joked as she tried to swipe her tear tracks.

“Dad…” Finn started.

“What? It’s true. Now come on, let’s get some grub before your mother kills us. Maz just brought her frog leg soup. And I expect you guys to be generous and eat some.”

“Ugh, that stuff is disgusting, do we have to eat it?” Finn protested.

“Yes, and you can spit it out later.”

Rey giggled as she thanked them and dried her tears.

Later in the early evening, Maz was in the kitchen packing up her dishes to leave. Rey decided to help her out and packed leftovers for her. She needed a break from all the celebrating and took peace in the calm kitchen.

“I gotta take these to ‘Madam Mayor’s’ house. She’ll be expecting some soup from me.” Maz said as she wrapped up her pot.

“Madam mayor? As in mayor Organa?”

“Mhmm, that’s our next stop. Got to visit everyone in one day, house jumping is so tiring you know.” She groaned as she stretched her short legs. She was no taller than Rey, and still couldn’t believe the sheer size of her husband.

“So, you’ll be seeing mayor Organa and her family, right?” Rey questioned. She realized this fact was an open opportunity to send a message.

“That’s right darling, now hand me my utensils from the rack.”

Rey reached over the counter and gathered her giant soup spoons. She handed her the spoons as she contemplated if she should ask Maz to do something for her. She opened and closed her mouth more than once and pursed her lips. Her brows were drawn like she was thinking but didn’t know how to speak her thoughts.

Maz sighed, “Use your words dear. If you have something to say, just spit it out.”

Rey looked at her with wide eyes like a thief embarrassed to be caught. She sighed defeatedly. “I-I was just wondering if you could pass on a message for me.”

“To whom?” She eyed Rey curiously as she adjusted her large glasses that magnified her squinty eyes.

“Oh ummm to…. to Ben, Ben Solo. Can you tell him I said ‘Thank You’. He’ll know what for, I just, I didn’t get a chance to tell him.” Her voice became thick and emotion colored her face. She fidgeted and did her best to reign herself in, but the older woman was more perceptive than she thought.

Maz cleared her throat after eyeing her for several long seconds. “He must have done something quite generous for you to appear so. If it means much to you, I have no other obligation but to pass on the message.” She smiled softly as she padded Rey’s cheek.

Rey swallowed and nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

Maz went back to bagging her leftovers and preparing to head out. Rey noticed it was just the two of them still and decided to be bold. The next sentences flew from her mouth without a second thought. “May I ask you something? It’s about Ben Solo. I know this may sound intrusive but…what, what exactly happened to his family?” She bit her lip, she knew it was intrusive and maybe even improper of her to ask such a thing. But she couldn’t help it, it was like everyone was in on a secret that she didn’t know. Why did she care so much anyway…

Maz instantly dropped her satchel and looked straight ahead. The moment felt thick in Rey’s throat. Had she just made a huge mistake.

Maz didn’t say anything for several long moments, it looked like she was contemplating something in her head. She cleared her throat and turned towards her, “Child, there are somethings better left unspoken. If the truth is what you desire, perhaps you should go straight to the source. All I can tell you is that young Solo carries a heavy weight on his shoulders. And it’s not my duty to discuss the diameters of that weight.”

Rey stared down at her in astonishment, her throat dry again. Maz then stepped closer and eyed her while adjusting her glasses. “What I can see child, is that you too carry a similar weight on your own shoulders. Yet it is not for you to discuss with me.”

Rey stepped back and let out a deep breath she didn’t even know she was holding. She didn’t like others reading into her, it made her too vulnerable. They stared at one another in silence.

The silence ended when Chewie came barging in the kitchen in a boisterous feat. “Lando is cheating at Sabacc again! He took half my money!”

Maz turned and scoffed, “Hah! I told you not to play that blasted game without me. He swindles you every time I’m not there to play a hand.”

“I’m the one who taught him how to play the blasted game in the first place! He should be thanking me for his winnings!”

“He did not swindle you, he played fair and square!” Rey heard Lillian or “L3” yell heatedly from the dining room table.

“Alright, it’s time to go before world war 2 erupts up in this house.” Maz finished packing her satchel and looked straight into Chewie’s eyes. “No more arguing or fighting, you were a fool to have played him in the first place.”

“The lady is correct Chewie!” Lando yelled into the kitchen.

“Oh shut it!” Chewie yelled back.

Rey could not help but quietly giggle at the scene before her, watching a giant grown man like Chewie whine over losing a card game.

The music on the record player suddenly changed to a soft slow tune. Chewie gasped as he grabbed Maz and started spinning her around the kitchen. “They’re playing our song sweetheart!”

Maz was startled by her husband’s abrupt change in demeanor but couldn’t resist his demand that they dance. He suddenly forgot all about the card game and was focused on getting his wife to move with him.

“Sorry Rey this is our song, I can’t resist her when this tune comes on.” Chewie barked as he spun his wife around and winked at Rey.

Finn suddenly jumped into the kitchen and sighed in relief. “Well I guess it worked. Works like a charm really.” He whispered as he leaned into Rey. He had a worried/relief look written on his face.

“What do you mean?” She whispered back.

“I had to distract Chewie somehow, him and my dad would be arguing for hours on end right now over that stupid card game. I just saved everyone a huge headache by dodging the oncoming arguments that were about to break out.”

Rey laughed, “So you were the one who put on this record?”

“Yep, your welcome.” He bowed majestically before exiting to finish clearing the table.

Rey giggled conspiratorially as she watched Chewie and Maz slow dance by the kitchen sink. Suddenly he lifted Maz and placed her on top of his feet. She was now standing on Chewie’s toes as he guided her through the dance. She giggled as she held onto his arms for support.

The moment seemed so surreal to Rey. Watching a married couple, dancing in a kitchen, with his wife standing on his feet. It seemed so intimate yet Rey couldn’t look away. She wanted to put her head down to give them privacy or walk away but for some reason she couldn’t.

Her mind started to wonder. Wonder what it would be like to be married and dancing on your husband’s feet like the scene before her.

Rey’s breath caught as she realized the next record playing was the song that she and Ben had slowed danced to on the Falcon. Her mind instantly shot back to her standing on Ben’s feet, dancing to this exact song. She thought about how small she had felt standing on his boots. How dainty her feet looked, how broad he was and how warm his hands and arms were.

Had they looked just like this? Just like Maz dancing on Chewie’s feet. Rey’s lip began to tremble as she stared at the married couple before her. Never in her life had she thought about one day dancing on her husband’s feet. All she ever thought about was surviving and finding her parents. And yet here she was daydreaming, watching the older lovebirds dance and spin around like there was nothing else in the world but their love.

Unconsciously her vision changed and it was no longer Maz and Chewie that she saw dancing in front of her. It was herself, much older than she is now and she was standing on a man’s feet just like Maz. The man was much taller than her and much broader, but she couldn’t see his face. All she could see was a blurred vision of herself and the man who was holding her, just like Chewie holding Maz. His arms were warm and safe and felt like home.

A single tear slipped down her cheek and she caught it before it hit the base of her chin. “_Silly, ridiculous, stupid, no one will ever marry you.” _She closed her eyes in an attempt to erase the vision. Her thoughts became muddled and she cleared her throat before exiting the kitchen to pull away from the scene before her and the thoughts that came with it.

***

Later that night, she curled into bed and pulled out her Christmas gift from Ben instead of the newspapers she was collecting about the war overseas. Normally she would read about the German attacks before bed, but found she wanted something else.

She was almost 5 chapters deep when a hard yawn escaped her mouth. With all her will power she wished she could finish the book gifted to her in one sitting. She blamed fatigue for not being able to.

Before closing the book, she went back to the inside cover and read Ben’s message again that he had written for her. She traced her fingers over his writing.

“I’m glad too Ben...” She whispered softly to herself as she set the book beside her on the bed.

With that she turned her lamp off and drifted to sleep. For the first time in weeks, she didn’t have terrible dreams about war or her parents. She was instead haunted by the vision she had about dancing on her husband’s feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be mostly an all Rey/Ben chapter which I'm excited to write. There's still a lot of mystery to this story and I want to take my time getting there. As for the picture of the book cover of P&P, that's an actual vintage cover from the 40's. I fell in love with it and couldn't resist. Till next time!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey works on the Falcon with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so first things first. I wanted to update much sooner but haven't for two reasons. First schoolwork and secondly...this stupid virus that we are all currently fighting. As mentioned before, I work at a hospital along side other nurses and doctors. I don't really talk about my personal life but I've been dealing with a lot of stress from my job. Please keep all medical professionals in your thoughts and prayers. We will all get through this eventually, there's hope. I normally don't get like this but I think it's important, being on the other side and all.
> 
> This chapter was a good distraction from my life and gave me some relief from the crisis we're in. Honestly, with the way things are going, I probably won't be able to update till May, I'm sorry ahead of time. Just as a reminder this story is a sloooow burn. I like to build things first but that doesn't mean we won't get there one day. There are mentions of violence in this chapter during Rey's flashback but not much. Thank you guys for reading! Please comment, I do like to get feedback.

CHAPTER 18

February 14th,1941

January and February were proving to be the coldest months of Rey’s life. Ice was starting to form on the streets and the snow was heavy. Despite the cold, everyone continued on with their lives like normal. This included Rey and everyone else in her life.

Rey was walking home from work down the icy streets, kicking whatever frozen rock she could find. Apparently, the owner of the shop had closed down for the day because he wanted to take his wife out for a special escape. She was angry about the whole thing. Angry because she would have to spend the whole weekend alone while everyone else had something to do.

Poe was apparently going out dancing at a social with a couple of his buddies and some of the other seniors. He had of course initially invited Rey but she used work as an excuse to discreetly refuse the offer. Finn had not so tacitly invited Rose to go to the cinema with him.

He had invited Rey too. Stating that it wasn’t a date, but Rey knew better. It was valentine’s day and she knew more than Finn himself that it was simply put a “date.”

Finn and Rose were being so shy with their feelings but Rey knew better. If the two would not openly admit their feelings to each other, then Rey swore she would, eventually. Not wishing to exclude or injure her, she knew Finn had invited her because he didn’t want her to be lonely or left out. But she would not allow her self-pity to ruin Rose and his cinema “date.”

It was barely 11’oclock and Rey dreaded heading home early. Plutt’s face was the absolute last thing she had wanted to see this morning. He was in a foul mood and they had fought before she left the house. The day was already looking dimmer by the possibility of having to return home.

Instead, Rey rounded a corner quickly and headed straight into a convenience store to kill time. She figured she would stall as long as she could before heading home. She needed a new wrench for work anyway and headed towards the tool aisle.

She started digging through the tools on the shelf when she noticed someone moving across from her on the other side. She could see a black figure moving with long hands stretching towards the tool bars. _Those hands..she had seen those long hands before_. She stared at them as they turned a hammer from side to side observing the tool. The large hands then replaced the hammer and froze.

Rey stupidly stared at the hands frozen across from her on the shelf and didn’t stop. She shook her head and looked up only to have her eyes lock with Ben Solo across from her. She gasped and stepped back. Surprised that it had been him.

“Rey?” He questioned as he stared at her from across the shelf.

“Ben!” Her voice jumped a little too excitedly. She wasn’t particularly excited to see him just unexpectant, she blushed at the excitement in her voice. She didn’t know why she sounded so excited in the first place. “What, what are you doing here?” She leaned her head down to hide her rosen cheeks.

“Buying tools.” He picked up the hammer he was just holding and waved it at her.

Rey smiled. “Me too.” She picked up the wrench she was gona buy and waved it back towards him.

He chuckled and came around the shelf to meet her. “No work today?”

She sighed, “Unfortunately no, shops closed.” She couldn’t help the small pout from forming on her lips, she was disappointed after all.

Ben chuckled, “You seem disappointed, you must’ve really wanted to work today.”

“I did! I wanted to do what I am best at, picking apart machines.” Again, she found herself moping. All she felt like doing today was putting her hands to good use and digging into some grease. Going back home was not an option.

Ben eyed her curiously like he was observing her closely. She huffed a bit and a small smile spread on his face. “If you’re that disappointed, why don’t you join me today?”

She looked up at him surprised, “Join you?”

“I mean, if you’re not bust today or anything, you could work on the Falcon with me. If you want to.” He rushed through his words nervously.

“The Falcon! You’re gonna work on the Falcon?” An excitement burst within her at the thought. Her scavenger brain too excited at the prospect.

He chuckled at her excitement, amused by her. “Yeah, the engine needs some tweaking, and I could use an extra pair of hands to hold some wires and plugs, if you want to.”

Rey thought about his offer and turned it over in her head. “_Go back home to Plutt or go with Ben?_ _Go with Ben_.” She beamed at him, “Only if you really need me, I guess I could go. I…miss the Falcon.” She couldn’t pinpoint why she missed the old ship but she did. Perhaps it was the thought of tampering with the beautiful plane or …..the memory with Ben atop that made her miss it…

He nodded his head, “It’s settled then. Let’s get our stuff and head out. It may be a bit chilly but the sun is supposed to rise more in the afternoon.”

Rey agreed and swiftly gathered her things to head out. She was glad that she had found something to occupy her time instead of going home to Plutt and Ben had been the answer.

***

The walk to the hangar had felt differently this time compared to the first. The first time Ben brought her here had been to learn how to dance. She was anxious and nervous to be alone with him. But now, things felt different. Ben was progressively becoming more easy to be around and Rey even enjoyed their heated yet silly conversations they would have about almost everything. They were complete opposites yet somehow found a way to agree or draw a middle ground.

Rey and Ben where elbows deep into the engine beneath the Falcon. They were lying down on their backs on a rolling cart as they reached up to tamper with the old beauty. Ben had been right about the cold, the sun was warming up the plane hangar quite nicely even to the point where they both removed their coats.

As they worked, their heads lay close to each other on the roller cart. It was easier for Rey to hold wires and grab parts while moving on a cart. She wished she had one for her job at the shop, but all the men would steal them away from her. They continued to work in companionable silence as their hands moved together like a circuit. Ben didn’t really need to say anything or ask for tools, she anticipated almost everything he would ask for. They were surprisingly a good team and he was impressed by her.

Rey was pulling back some wires for him when she broke their companionable silence. “When do you think she’ll be ready for flight?”

“Soon,” he grunted as he wretched a screw off. “She’s old but not broken. The goal is to get her going by the summer.”

“I can’t wait to see it. Hopefully we can finish it by then.”

“We?” He questioned without turning to look at her.

“Oh, yeah, I mean you. When you get to finish it.” 

“I much prefer the ‘we’.” He stated matter of fact.

“You mean, I can come back again to work on it with you?” There was that bubbling excitement again in her voice.

Ben slowly turned his head to face her. Their heads were resting on the cart mere inches from each other. “I would much prefer you being here to get her going. If that’s what you want of course.” His voice was soft and deep. Their heads were so close that she felt the vibrations from his voice hit her face. It did something to her and she moved her face back towards the wires she was holding.

“I would like to.” Her voice was shaky.

“So it’s agreed.” He turned his attention back to the wires.

“Mmhmm.” Rey nodded as she cleared her throat. “I think I need a break.” She sat up and left him under the Falcon. She stretched her arms and neck and found her eyes roaming over the hangar at the other aircrafts.

“Ben,” she started, “What do you plan on doing with all these planes?” Her curiosity was itching and she wanted to hear his answer.

“Well, their technically ours now, even though they were smuggled. I haven’t actually thought about what to do with them but I think I want to fix um all first and then go from there.”

“What does your family want to do with them?” A wrench clang to the ground the moment the words left her mouth. She heard him curse under his breath as he scooted out from under the plane and stretched next to her.

“I’m pretty sure my mother would want nothing more than to see this place burn to the ground.” He gritted out as he walked into the inside of the Falcon. She quickly followed him up the ramp and into the pilot’s cabin. He started to look around for some tool when Rey noticed a pair of dice hanging from the drivers control panel. She reached up to touch the shiny dice and realized they were made of gold.

Ben turned and noticed her eyeing the shiny object. “Don’t touch those please.” He growled out lowly.

She instantly jumped back from the dice afraid she had offended him somehow. He wore a pained expression on his face and she instantly regretted tampering with the object.

“I, I’m sor-”

“Don’t, just forget about it.” He went back to looking for his missing tool and she decided to discreetly explore the cabin. Hoping she could somehow temper the awkwardness that was radiating off of him. This plane seemed too personal to him and she felt like an intruder in someone’s home.

After a few minutes, something shiny caught Rey’s attention on the dashboard. It looked like a large pocket watch. She slowly turned it and realized it was open. On the inside was a compass and on the other side was a picture.

Rey instantly gasped and almost dropped it as she snatched it off the dashboard. “This can’t be…” She said aloud. “It’s, this picture.” She stared again. “Ben!” She looked up only to see his eyes already on her. “This picture, I know this face!” The man in the picture was standing next to a young woman, a beautiful young woman. They were both smiling from ear to ear and Rey recognized those deep eyes. They were the eyes of the mayor and Ben…. .

“Ben! This picture it’s of-”

“Han Solo.” He finished bitterly for her.

“And Mayor Organa, Ben this picture has-”

“My mother and father.” There was no emotion to his voice, only dullness.

“Your father was Han Solo! Thee Han Solo!” She didn’t hide the sheer excitement from her voice. It was like fireworks going off in her head. How could she have been so stupid not to put the pieces together. Ben’s last name was Solo and he had all these planes. His father had been considered the greatest plane smuggler of all time and his son had been right under her nose. Rey groaned to herself and couldn’t believe how stupid and naïve she had been.

She started to become emotional, emotional that she finally found the chance to meet the man again. How could she ever forget Han Solo, the father figure she had desperately wanted. The man that saved her life….. .

_7 Years Ago_

_It was a cold and rainy in Jakku as Rey started to search the streets for food. Jakku hardly saw rain but today was different._

_ Plutt had left her alone for weeks, off to do no good at the least. Scavenging had done her no good, there was nothing left to salvage. She was starving and desperate to find something to eat. Her body felt achy and her belly like a bottomless pit. The hunger drove her mad and even feral. Last night she had resorted to digging through the trash for food but today she would not. _

_She spotted two men sitting outside of a bar about to eat some biscuits. She swiftly rounded a corner and hid herself to plan for a steal. She licked her lips as she eyed the tasty bread. She imagined the flaky biscuit going into her mouth and the buttery feeling on her tongue. She licked her lips again and moved in. _

_The two men were distracted by some visitors when she snuck up from behind and snatched a biscuit. Instantly she turned to run down the alley with her stolen goods when she felt someone yank her by the collar. _

_“Thief!” The tall man she had stolen the biscuit from roared at her as he smacked her in the head. The other man soon joined him and Rey knew she was corned. Her scavenger instincts kicked in and she turned into the feral creature that she currently was. Hunger did things to your brain, she learned that. _

_She grabbed her trusty staff that she made out of a metal rod and smacked the man directly in the head, the other she hit in the gut. She made a run for it down the alley but she didn’t get far. One of the men jumped up and grabbed her by the hair yanking her down to the ground. _

_She yelped out in pain as the two men began to beat her. One pulled out a knife and placed it to her throat when suddenly a loud whistle erupted from the alley’s entrance. _

_“Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size!” A man’s voice boomed and distracted the two men from punishing Rey. She was about to run free when the men yanked her back by the arm. _

_“Let the kid go.” The man stepped closer without an air of fear and looked the two men in the eyes. Rey froze as she took in the person who had stopped her potential death. He wasn’t young but not old either. He had a smooth face and soft hair. Rey thought him quite handsome despite the situation she was currently in. Normally she would never pay attention to how people looked, but for someone reason she was awed by this stranger intervening. _

_“She’s a thief! A filthy street rat who stole my food!” The man yanked her arm tighter as she winced._

_Her smooth-looking savior rolled his eyes. “She was hungry, can’t you tell. Or are you blind.” There was more sarcasm in his voice than anger in her punishers. He also had a different accent, not like anyone around here anyway. His voice sounded husky and rugged. _

_“Mind your own business and let us get back to ours!” _

_“Sorry pal, can’t do that, until you let the kid go.” His voice was firmer and turning serious now. _

_“I said mind your own business!” The other man pulled out a knife and moved towards Rey’s savior. _

_Within seconds a clicking sound went off and a pistol was pulled. “Haven’t you ever heard don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, pathetic.” He waved the two men off as they backed away from Rey. “Well get going already.” He barked at them._

_The two men sneered at the smooth-faced man as they turned and backed away. She watched them leave back down the alley with scowls plastered on their faces._

_“You alright kid?” The man who saved her broke her attention on the two men leaving and she turned to look up at him. He gave her a half grin and eyed her curiously. “You almost got into some serious trouble there.”_

_Rey stared up at him afraid to speak. She finally felt the pain that was inflicted on her by her attackers and felt weak. Her strength was depleted from not eating as it was already and then the physical assault had taken its’ effect. She stumbled to the side and was about to faint when the man reached out and caught her just in time. _

_“Woah woah there kiddo, I think you need some energy. How about some biscuits?” Rey nodded without thinking and let him lead her to a table outside the bar where the two men were sitting earlier. Her head hurt and a throbbing pain radiated in her limbs. _

_A waiter brought out a basket of biscuits and Rey didn’t have to be told twice. She dove into the basket and started devouring. She didn’t think about manners, didn’t think about propriety, those things were foreign to her. Within 6 seconds she ate the first biscuit, 10 seconds the second, 30 seconds the third and 1 minute the fourth. She ravaged the basket like a feral animal. A total of 4 biscuits were eaten in 1 minute. _

_She finally wiped her lips with the back of her hand and looked up at the man across from her. His mouth was slightly agape and he had a sympathetic look written on his face. He looked shocked and surprised, probably from her terrible manners Rey thought. _

_He swallowed and looked down at his drink. “You got a name kid?”_

_She looked up at him apprehensively. What did it matter what her name was, she wasn’t sure she could truly trust this man. People never gave away things for free, everything comes with a price. Rey learned that early on in her life. She wondered what the price from this man would be. _

_He noticed her wariness and decided to make a deal. “Ok kid, if I tell you my name, then you tell me yours. Deal?”_

_Rey nodded hesitantly. _

_“Great, the names Han, Han Solo. And you?” His husky voice rang deep.  
“Rey.” _

_“Rey?” He repeated. _

_She nodded and reached for the cup of water to wash down the itch in her throat. He stared at her for a moment before doing the same with his drink. She felt bold for some reason and decided to ask him some questions. “Why did you save me?”_

_He snorted, “You needed help kid, I wasn’t gona let those fools harm you.”_

_“I can take care of myself.” She was being stubbornly defiant. _

_“Is that so, aren’t you a little firecracker.” He chuckled. “You remind me of someone I once knew.” _

_“Who’s that?”_

_“Me, kid.”_

_Surprise colored her face. _

_“I ran streets as a kid. Not these streets of course, but Corellia. Which is probably just as bad if not worse. Stealing isn’t always the answer you know, but I know what hunger does to you.”_

_Rey felt embarrassed, of course it was bad to steal. But hunger always did tricky things to your mind. She was surprised to find someone who finally understood that. “What is Corellia?”_

_“It’s a city near New York. East coast.”_

_“You’re an American?” _

_“Yes sweetheart I am. Haven’t you notice I don’t sound like you.” _

_“Why are you here in Jakku? If you’re not from here. Shouldn’t you be back in Corellia where you belong?” _

_“Well aren’t you the perfect little interrogator. If you must know, I’m here on business. My last job in Europe before I head home for good.” _

_“What’s the job?” Rey asked him as she picked apart another biscuit more slowly this time._

_He hesitated before simply stating, “Plane acquisition.”_

_“Plane?”_

_“Yeah, I uhh, I… I collect planes.” He struggled with his words but Rey didn’t notice. _

_“So you’re here for a job?”_

_“Yep.” He gave her a wolfish grin._

_She turned this information over in her head. “Can I, can I join you?”_

_He almost spit out his drink, “Absolutely not, a young girl like you should not be roaming these streets. How old are you anyway? Seven?”_

_“I’m ten.” She cut him off. _

_“Ten?” He repeated in disbelief. The young girl across from him did not look ten. She looked much too small and skinny. No meat on her bones, no flesh on her cheeks. Starvation made her look much younger than she actually was. _

_Han sighed, “Look kid, you’re better off not joining me. And besides a few seconds ago you didn’t even trust me.”_

_“I trust you now.”_

_“And why’s that?”_

_She hesitated before responding. “Because, you understand what hunger does to people’s heads.” A solemn look crossed her face._

_He stared at her in amazement. This young girl knew too much about the world and the reality of it. “What about your parents? Or guardians?” _

_“I don’t have any.” She wasn’t lying. Her parents weren’t currently here and neither was Plutt._

_Han Solo sighed in defeat. “Alright kid listen, I’m looking for an outpost here in Jakku and I need directions. All you gotta do is point the way and that’s it. I’m not taking you with me, it’s too, it’s not safe for someone your age.” _

_“Are you offering me a job?” She was suddenly on the edge of her seat. _

_He chuckled at the young girl’s enthusiasm. “It wouldn’t pay much, but yeah.”_

_Rey squealed in excitement. “When do we start?”_

_“Now.” Han stated as he took one last drink and placed the tab down. _

_The next three days had been a walk in the park for Rey. All she had to do was give Han Solo directions to areas in Jakku and she would get a free meal. He paid her generously in food, clothes and even euros. She had grown quite attached to him in the span of three days, he was charming, funny, a bit rugged and kind. _

_It didn’t take her long to realize that he was up to something more besides acquiring a plane. He was probably smuggling but Rey could care less. He treated her how Rey would imagine a father would treat his own daughter. Granted she didn’t know how a real father was supposed to act, but she figured Han would be a good example to believe in. _

_By the third day, Han Solo’s mission was done and it was time for him to head home. She was initially saddened by his departure especially because she wouldn’t get anymore meals. _

_Before he left, he offered her the chance to take her back with him, to give her a real home. Rey turned his offer over in her head and almost agreed to go back with him to America. However, if she left Jakku now, then her parents wouldn’t find her when they came back. She stated this to Han even though he seemed hesitant to leave her in her current state. _

_She reassured him to the best of her ability, that her place was here in Jakku, waiting for her parents to return…. He left her with a generous sum to keep her fed for a month as payment for helping him. Rey would never forget Han Solo, the father that she wished she had…. _

Today

“Ben, your father is Han Solo!”

“Yes, you said that already.” He gritted out.

“Oh Ben! Is he here? I want to meet him again.”

“Again??” He questioned her with surprised irritation.

“Yes.”

“How did you know my father?” He barked bitterly.

Rey hesitated before deciding to tell Ben how she knew him. She left out the parts about how she had stolen, was starving and almost got herself killed. She only stated that she helped Han Solo navigate through Jakku and how generous he had been to her.

Ben eyed her with a pained expression. “Did he say he was on some glorified mission?” Venom ripped through his voice and made her flinch.

“Yyyes, he said he was acquiring a plane I believe.” Her voice became small almost non-existent.

Anger flared through his chest and he clenched his fists.

“Ben?” She questioned softly. “What happened to your father?”

“He’s dead.” He stated so dully with no emotion whatsoever, almost as if he didn’t care.

Rey flinched, a deep sadness welling up in her chest. The cabin suddenly became too thick and the air felt like water filling up in the cabin to drown them.

“But-” She was cut off by the sound of Ben stomping out of the captain’s cabin and out of the plane. She watched him through the Falcon’s window as he dashed out of the hangar and into the blinding sunlight.

She stood there empty, clutching the compass, staring down at Han Solo’s picture as tears gathered in her eyes. Her heart ached and she felt something heavy in her chest. The man who had saved her life in more ways than one was gone. Disappeared, vanished from the world.

She slowly sat down in the captain’s seat and cried softly. She would never be able to meet the man again. See his smooth aged face or hear his deep husky voice. The only thing close she had to some sort of father figure, gone.

After sometime, Rey cleared her throat and wiped her face. Ben hadn’t returned from outside and she became worried. How stupid and insensitive she must have sounded to him. Guilt gripped her quickly and she instantly regretted asking about his father. His father’s death obviously affected him and she had been a fool to force him to bring it up.

She didn’t let the fact that Ben seemed indifferent to his father’s death pass her. She thought it was strange that he would sound so emotionally detached when discussing him. Maybe that was how he was coping?

She exited the plane and began searching for Ben. She walked outside the hanger and circled the giant building twice, but still couldn’t find him. Had he left her there? She began to wonder if she had scared him off or pushed him away. Fear gripped her that he might have abandoned her here.

She gave up and went to sit by the Falcon. Anger and hurt was starting to grip her heart. The hangar felt so cold and empty without Ben. She wished he would come back. After sitting for ten minutes she gave up and started exploring the hangar.

Rey walked over to the giant staircase that led to the second-floor balcony and started climbing stairs. The stairs creaked as she walked up and she wondered if they were safe to climb. Not caring if they were sturdy or not, she climbed anyway to the top and started walking on the indoor balcony. She had been wanting to do this since she first laid eyes on the grand staircase. It was probably due to her impeccable exploring/scavenging instincts.

She was walking by the giant windows reflecting the sun, it looked beautiful from the second floor. She took another step towards the railing when her foot gave way and the boards cracked open under her feet. She screamed out in terror as she fell through the boards on the balcony and latched on to the rail at the last second. She was dangling in the air from the railing on the second-floor, holding on for dear life. She tried to swing herself back up and give herself some leverage to leap. But nothing worked, the icy bar from the railing was too cold and her fingers were slipping.

Panic began to course through her, the fall to the first floor would not be fatal, but she would most definitely break something. Horror pushed her into determination. She would not suffer another hospital visit. She needed to reach the other rail in order to pull herself up. She made one last attempt to leap when her fingers slipped.

“BEN!!” She screamed out in terror as she realized she was falling to the first floor. Instead of hitting the hard cold ground, she felt something else. Something caught her with a loud grunt and then she hit the ground. However, she didn’t land on the ground, she landed on someone’s chest.

She was shaking and so was the person who caught her. She gently sat up and turned to see Ben sitting up with her. She was on his lap and he had his arms around her.

They stared at one another both breathing haggardly. She could see the cold air coming from his mouth as well as the sweat on his face. His hair was wild and he seemed disheveled. She suddenly felt much warmer sitting on his lap.

“Are you out of your mind!! I told you not to go up there!” He roared at her as he tightened his arms around her.

“What! I was perfectly fine. I could’ve pulled myself up!” Rey knew she sounded stupid but didn’t like the tone he was using with her.

“Oh yeah, great job at that butterfingers. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“I would not have died and you know it.” She spat back at him.

“Oh sure, just end up in the doctor’s office again, I’m sure you’d love that.” Sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

Rey moved to stand up but found she was trapped in his arms. “I can take care of myself!”

“I’m sure you can Rey, yet you keep finding ways to put yourself at risk.” Again with the sarcasm.

“I don’t need your sarcasm, what I need is for you to let me go now.” She fidgeted on his lap and he instantly moved his arms as she stood up. For some reason she regretted telling him those words…the warmth felt nice.

“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath as he stood with her.

She stared at him irritatingly until she remembered why he had left in the first place. Her anger deflated, “Ben, I….I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up your fath-”

“Forget about it. Let’s just act like we never brought it up.” He snapped so quickly that Rey didn’t have time to finish her thoughts.

“But I should apologize, it’s my fault-”

“Stop! Enough, we don’t need to discuss this anymore.”

She wanted to fight him so bad, ask him why he didn’t want to talk about it. But, she decided for once to keep her mouth shut and not push it. Afterall, he had just saved her.

“Fine,” she sighed. After a minute of them just standing there collecting themselves, she decided to thank him. “Ben, I’m sorry. Thank you for catching me. I didn’t mean to break the balcony. I just got so bored and lonely while you were gone that I started exploring.”

He stared at her surprisingly. “You were lonely without me?”

She nodded trying to hide her blush at the way that sounded. “This place seems so empty without you. Where did you go anyways?” She eyed his disheveled appearance and his bloody hands with small cuts. “What happened to your hands Ben? What did you do?”

Embarrassment covered his cheeks and he hid his hands. “I went, to cool off some steam.”

“Cool off some steam?”

“I went to chop down a tree Rey okay.” He lashed out at her to protect himself from embarrassment.

“You chopped down a tree?”

“Yes, swinging an axe at a tree is surprisingly a good way to release steam. If I were at home I would have used a punching bag.” He chuckled to himself but the mirth did not reach his eyes.

“Ben, was it because I brought up your father, was that why you ran off?”

“If you must know, yes. And I told you we’re done discussing that.” He pushed past her to head back towards the Falcon.

Rey stared after him as he stalked back towards the plane. She sighed in frustration, his mood swings were growing increasingly annoying. She felt like she was understanding Poe’s accurate description of his moodiness. However, he only became moody with her whenever his father was brought up. She groaned and kicked a rock as she turned to follow him.

“It’s a bit past noon. We got to finish up the Falcon.”

Rey nodded her agreement and went to join him under the plane.

They both laid still under the plane’s engine when Ben cleared his throat, “Rey, I’m sorry.” He didn’t look at her but up at the engine. “I didn’t mean to leave you here or hurt you. I just needed some time alone. I’m not asking you to understand, but it was never my intention.” His voice was soft and she could hear his regret.

She stared at him and then turned back towards the engine. “I’ll accept your apology if you accept mine.”

“Fine,” he sighed defeatedly.

“See that wasn’t so hard was it?” Rey went back to tampering with wires.

“Don’t push it.”

“I intend to push every button Ben Solo.” She stated defiantly with a mischievous grin.

A genuine chuckle escaped his mouth. “Why do you care so much?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Touche.”

They went back to working on the Falcon in companionable silence.

An hour later they were sitting across from each other eating their lunches that they had brought with them. Ben was done eating much quicker than Rey and pulled out a notebook from his bag. He started to write and doodle on his notepad nonchalantly.

She eyed him curiously and watched as he made long strokes with his pen. She watched the way his brow would crease and the way his lips would purse with concentration as he sketched away. Quietly she laughed to herself as she watched him push back his raven hair more than once from his eyes. He looked so serious that she found it amusing. For some reason she wanted to reach out and brush his hair back for him, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind.

Every stroke of his hand seemed so precise and delicate. It made her curious to know what he was doing with that pen. After finishing her last bite, she wanted to know what he was writing. “Ben?”

“Hmm?” He was so concentrated on the paper before him that he hardly paid any attention to his name.

“What are you writing? An assignment, or are you drawing?”

“Neither.” He glanced up at her from under his pen and went back to his work.

“Sooo what is it then?”

“A poem.” He stated hesitantly before continuing moving his hand in large strokes.

“A poem? What kind of poem?”

“It’s a secret.” He chuckled darkly.

Rey scowled, “I want to know, can I see it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see your work.”

He shook his head. “Can’t, it’s supposed to be anonymous.”

“There’s no one else here Ben, you can show me.” She didn’t know why she was being so insistent, she just wanted to see what he was concentrating so much on.

He sighed and set the notepad down. “If you really want to know what I’m writing, it’s gona cost ya.”

“What’s the price?” She scooted closer towards him until she was sitting right across from him.

He stared at her as his mind went somewhere else. She could see he was thinking of something, debating if he should say it or not. It was one of the many facial expressions she was learning from him. After a moment his eyes turned soft and he pointed towards the top of the Falcon. “I’ll read you my poem, in exchange for a dance on the Falcon.”

Rey gawked at him, “Seriously, that’s your price.”

“Take it or leave it. The only way you’re hearing what I wrote is if you dance on top.”

“You know it’s still dangerous.”

“Exactly what I thought you would say, which means you won’t take the exchange, and my poem remains anonymous.” He smirked at her before shaking his head and going back to his pen and paper.

“You’re trying to set me up. You know I’m afraid to dance on the Falcon and you knew I would resist.”

“You’re more perceptive than I thought.” He chuckled as he continued writing.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “You know what Ben, I’ll accept your offer. And you don’t get the satisfaction of trying to play me or remaining anonymous.”

“I wasn’t trying to play you.”

“You most certainly were, you gave me a price that you thought I wouldn’t pay. Well guess what, you lose, now read your poem while I warm up my legs.” She smirked at him as she stretched her feet.

He shook his head and laughed, “Why are you so stubborn?”

“I’m not, I just don’t back down from a challenge easily.”

“Dully noted.”

“I’m waiting, let’s hear it.” She sat back down across from him.

“Fine,” he cleared his throat. “But…. it’s just a draft, not finished yet.”

She smiled encouragingly.

Ben eyes turned soft and he read his poem aloud,

** _“When the sun rises, I see nothing, when the moon light shines, I see nothing, when the stars light the vast abyss, I see nothing, when with you, I see everything.”_ **

When he finished reading he looked up to have Rey’s eyes lock with his. She was already looking at him. She stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open. There was a gleam to her eyes that matched the one in Bens. They stared at each other and the room felt thick. She felt as though his poem had pierced her straight through the heart. The only thing either one of them could hear was each other breathing.

Ben’s eyes were a warm brown and he gazed at her with an expression that she didn’t recognize. She cleared her throat to break the trance. “That was beautiful Ben, I… I liked it. I loved it.” She smiled and looked down, afraid that her cheeks were reddening.

She heard him stand up and shuffle towards her. All she saw was his hand stretch towards her. “I believe you owe me a dance.”

She looked up and saw him smiling down at her. His smile was contagious and she was sure her face matched his. His smile was beautiful and alluring, she wished he did it more often. She gave him her hand as they headed towards the edge of the Falcon. Warmth instantly shot through her hand and into her whole frame.

As they climbed the Falcon, they remained silent. Once on top, they faced each other, her hand in his. He started to sway her.

“No music?” She questioned.

“No, I think humming is better.” He spun her around and she followed his arm as he pulled her in.

“Slow or fast?” She questioned him again.

“Either one is fine.”

“I like slow, less easier to trip and fall off this piece of metal.” She looked down hesitantly and shuddered at the ground.

“Hey, eyes on me okay. I won’t let you fall, I’ll catch you before that happens.” His deep voice was soft and assuring.

“Promise?” She gazed up at him like a child, like the first time he had brought her up here.

“Always.” He whispered softly.

She nodded as their hands connected again and he spun her around. She giggled as their feet moved and he guided her across the Falcon. This dance reminded her of the one at his house on the stairs. The sunlight was hitting the both of them like a spotlight as they moved and turned across the metal plane. Ben started humming, his voice warm in her ear.

He picked her up by the waist to lift her in the air and spin her around. She stretched her arms out like a bird while throwing her head back. They both started laughing.

“Are you a bird Rey.” He breathed into her.

“Yes, I am.” She giggled as he set her down, hands on her waist as they slow danced.

“Well I guess I’m a bird too then.”

She laughed at his comment. She felt so childish, if that’s what she could even call it.

“You like dancing up here don’t you, you just won’t admit it.”

“No!” She protested as he spun rapidly. “I just like dancing with you.” Rey’s eyes widened, she couldn’t believe she had just said that aloud.

His breath hitched at her statement and he missed his step when she came in from the spin. He tripped and fell backwards with Rey landing on top of him. They landed on the Falcon’s roof with a loud thud.

Rey froze in fear on top of him. They could have fallen off the Falcon and gotten hurt. After her fear dissipated, she burst into a fit of laughter and buried her face in Ben’s chest. She couldn’t stop laughing and he felt her laughter echo within him. He placed his hands on her back to steady her and laughed with her. 

His laugh felt like waves from the ocean on her face and she buried her face deeper into his chest without thinking. She could hear his heart beating rapidly and the sound lulled her. Ben stiffened and Rey realized that this was not appropriate she instantly jumped up and sat across from him.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away. I shouldn’t have done that.” She looked down praying to God that she was not blushing.

He cleared his throat and sat up. “It’s ok. It was an accident.”

Their eyes locked again and he looked down at her cheeks. He looked like he was mentally counting the freckles across her face. Rey did her best not to flush again when his hand extend towards her face.

He gently grabbed a piece of her hair that was loose and tucked it behind her ear. His large hand lingered behind her ear as his eyes bore into her. They felt like magnets drawing her in. They roamed her entire face, starting from her eyes to her cheeks, to her nose to her lips. They lingered on her lips and he was counting the freckles sprinkled there.

Rey felt all of her breath being sucked out of her as he stared at her. He leaned forward before stopping himself. “Forgive me, I shouldn’t have done that.” He removed his hand from behind her ear and stood up.

Rey swallowed her secret disappointment and stood with him. _Why was she feeling a sense of disappointment_. It puzzled her. Again she pushed those thoughts to the back of her head. “I guess we should head out.”

He nodded at her and slipped down the side of the Falcon. He then turned back to catch her as she neared the edge. “Use your wings to fly?” He teased her, probably an attempt to break the previous tense moment.

“Oh shut it, you said you were a bird too you nerf herder.” She shot back as she leaned towards the edge. She can’t believe she called herself a bird, how stupid. Now he would forever tease her about it, even though he said he was one too. 

Rey leapt into Ben’s arms like it was the easiest thing in the world. He caught her of course and set her down while their eyes stayed lock. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” She grabbed her belongings and he did the same.

***

They were walking home from the hangar and decided to pick up some food. Hot dogs were apparently the only thing available but Rey didn’t mind.

“Ben?”

“What is it?”

“Do you think we could stay out a little longer. I….I don’t want to go home just yet.” She must have sounded pitiful, but she would much rather be with Ben than Plutt.

He looked at her softly and gave a small smile. “We can stay out as long as you like.”

She beamed up at him and he looked at her like he would do anything to keep that smile on her face.

“Well well, look what we have here.” A voice sneered in front of Ben and Rey on the sidewalk. They both turned to see Hux with his arm around Nettie’s shoulder. She looked between Ben and Rey and glared at her. There was another senior boy alongside Hux.

“Well look at that, the street rat with the patricidal monster how cute. On a date and everything.” Hux sneered again at the two them.

Ben flinched and stiffened. Rey threw daggers and didn’t attempt to be cordial. “If you have nothing agreeable to say then I suggest you move.” 

“I’m not moving anywhere sweetheart, you are. Trash doesn’t go before beauty and since you insist on hanging out with murderous men, I can’t trust your judgement to know the difference.” Hux stepped closer to Rey and Ben went rigid.

“Get out of our way.” Rey gritted out.

“What are you gona do about it if we don’t huh. Murderer Solo over here gona run crying to his mommy, and you scavenger whore. What are you gona do about it?”

Rey shot daggers into Hux.

He taunted her further. “What, you don’t believe me do you? That your little boyfriend over here is a murderous snake. Why don’t you ask him yourself. Ask about his fath-”.

“Enough!” Ben finally spoke up and cut him off.

“I’ll tell you what you should do.” The other senior boy rounded Rey. “Why don’t you flaunt those pretty little thighs of yours and let me in, take a turn like everyone else.” The group erupted mockingly in laughter. That was until Ben pushed the senior boy and slammed him to the ground.

“Ben!” Rey panicked but it was too late. He slammed the senior boy so hard to the ground that he didn’t get up. He turned over his side and groaned in pain.

“Hey!!” Hux roared and turned on Ben.

“Enough! Stop!” Rey jumped between them. “They’re not worth it, they’re cowards!”

Hux deflated as he stared with wide eyes at the murderous glare from Ben. He backed away and Rey could see the fear in his face. He truly was afraid of Ben. So he really was a weasel after all.

“Get up!!” He roared at the senior boy still on the ground. “We’re leaving, you two creatures aren’t worth it.” Hux spat as he backed away from them.

Rey glared at him again seeing red.

“You two are perfect for each other, you know that? The killer and the scavenger. Whatever spawn you have will be a perfect mix of the two.” Hux mocked as the trio backed away. 

Rey and Ben watched as they left.

“Urgghh! Why is he such a dick!” She roared as Ben turned to her surprise coloring his cheeks. She retracted her words, “Sorry, I know that’s not very lady like, but I’ve heard much worse on the streets.”

He shrugged, “It’s alright, I used to hear it all the time from pilots, but my mother couldn’t have a son with that kind of language. Wouldn’t look good on her political career now would it. My father had to tone it down completely if not all the way.”

She turned to look up at him. “Speaking of your father Ben, why does Hux keep saying things about him? Why does he keep calling you a murderer?”

Ben stiffened and grew cold. She could see the cloud of darkness shroud his eyes and he became completely detached.

“Ben?” She questioned, afraid that the boy in front of her had left and was only a shadow now.

“Forget about Hux, just forget it.” He gritted out as he abruptly turned and stalked down the sidewalk. She sighed and decided to drop it. Whenever his father was brought up, he turned into this detached emotionless creature. She didn’t like it.

They decided to continue on to the community park and sat at a table underneath the barren trees. They ate their hotdogs silently until a couple of children ran by playing with a kite. Rey stared at the children, remembering how she used to make her own kites. They were mostly rags put together but she loved playing with them. That was until Plutt threw them in the furnace… . Speaking of the demon, she didn’t want to go home yet.

“Ben, can we read a little before heading back.”

“Read?” He stated with a full mouth.

“Yes, I brought a book with me, the one you gave me for Christmas remember?”

His eyes softened as he nodded.

She scooted closer to him as he wiped his hands and pulled the book from her bag.

“What chapter do you want to start on?”

“The Netherfield ball, where they dance.” She laid her head on her arms that were resting on the table and closed her eyes.

He chuckled, “So I guess I’m the one reading, while you sleep?”

“Mmhmm.” She nodded at him and smiled mischievously with one eye open.

He snorted and shook his head. He opened the novel straight to the chapter will the ball, Rey was impressed he knew which chapter it was by heart. He cleared his throat and started reading to her.

His voice was soothing, like a warm blanket on a cold night. The deepness of it put her into a trance. He read so eloquently that she thought his voice should be on some radio or broadcast show. She felt her eyelids drooping and smiled as her eyes finally shut.

A bit later she felt someone tugging on her shoulder lightly. “Rey? Rey? It’s time to wake up sleeping beauty.”

She creaked her eyes open to see Ben’s amused face looking down at her. “Either you were really tired or my voice bored you.”

She yawned, “The first part yes, the second no.”

He stood to help her up. “The suns setting it’s time to head back.”

She nodded and they trekked back home. Ben walked her back to her neighborhood before stopping at the end of her block.

Rey noticed his hesitation and the dark memory from when he last walked her home. “I can take it from here Ben.” She put her hand on his shoulder as she walked pass him.

Again she was trying to reassure him, but the confrontation with Plutt last time was still thick in the air. “I’ll see you Monday?”

His eyes came back to her as he nodded.

“Great, thanks for everything Ben, I… I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

His warm eyes softened and she could see their light brown color changing. “Don’t thank me yet, the Falcons not done.”

“So does this mean I can come back to work on it again?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I do.” She stated firmly.

“Then it’s settled.”

She nodded before smiling and turning to walk the rest of the way home. At the end of the street corner she turned one last time to see if he was still there. He was and she waved at him as he waved back.

She turned and continued home. One thing was for sure in Rey’s mind at this moment. Ben Solo was becoming her very true friend. For some reason the term “friend” didn’t settle well in her mind but it was the only word that made sense. What else was she going to call Ben… .

***

That night she had a strange dream. She was with Ben in the plane hanger when suddenly the scene changed. The room turned dark and Ben was covered in blood. Not his blood but Rey could see the corpse of Han Solo lying on the floor. She screamed in horror as she realized it was Han’s blood that was splattered all over Ben. His face was emotionless and detached, almost like she was looking at a monster.

Rey awoke with a gasp and sat up in bed. She had to still her breathing as she realized she was still in her room. “_What in the world was that_?” She wondered what had caused her to have such a dream. Maybe it was something she ate, maybe it was the hotdog, maybe it was because she was thinking of Han Solo before bed.

Whatever it was, Rey knew she needed to get down to the bottom of this. What really happened to Han Solo, how did he die?

The next time she saw Finn, she was going to get the information she needed from him or from anyone else who could give it. Finn had been with Ben at the academy, perhaps he knew something that no one else would openly talk about. Everyone seemed hesitant to even discuss what happened to him from Chewie to Lando to Poe to even Hux. Finn seemed like her only option left.

She felt like she needed closure for Han Solo, she needed to know what happened to the only man who ever came close to being a father figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey will get some answers regarding Han Solo within the next two chapters. Hope you can stick around to find out. Oh, and as for the poem Ben wrote, I made it up LOL.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey discovers the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, it's been a bit but I've finally finished this chapter. I've officially graduated with my BSN now so I should have more time to update. I've been currently torn between updating and playing the FF7 Remake, I'm so sorry! Anywho, enjoy this angst filled chapter. The angst is real. Please comment and give feedback. Thanks:)!

CHAPTER 19

It had been a little over a week since Rey had discovered the truth of Ben Solo’s parentage. His mother was married to Han Solo, the rugged pilot that had saved her life 7 years prior.

Rey constantly thought about nothing since she discovered the truth. In her mind, she had pictured it a thousand ways how she would next see the older man. If she ever got the chance to meet Han Solo again, how would she react. Would he still look rugged and smooth. Wear a smile that looked similar to the one that Ben wore on the small occasions where he would actually smile.

Now that she thought about it, they had the same smile. Ben was his father just from his small lopsided grins. It was written all over his face. Rey knew deep down in the dark of her hazy memories that she had recognized that smile from somewhere. The one that looks like a cheshire cat with a knowing smirk.

Would Han Solo even remember her if she got the chance to meet him again? The small girl with no meat on her bones and fire in her spirit. He had called her a “little firecracker” at the time and indeed she was.

She liked to pretend that he would remember her and maybe, just maybe she would have taken his offer and gone with him back home. Rey would let Han Solo take her back to his home to have a better life the next time she saw him. 

The few years following her adventure with Han Solo, she thought about the deep gut-wrenching regret she held for not accepting his offer. There were so many dark times with Plutt that followed that made her question why she would ever reject his offer for a better life. How stupid she had been.

She could have met the people in Han Solo’s life. Chewie, Lando, Poe, maybe even Rose and Finn, and most of all Ben…

She would’ve been much younger, much more open to the world instead of closed in. She could’ve had Leia Organa for a mother and Han for a father. The fantasy appeared real in her head.

Although Rey thought on these things, deep down she knew, knew that all of these thoughts were invalid. She could never leave her home, she couldn’t leave Jakku. Her parents were out there, her real parents. Not the substitute of Han and Leia. Not the magical fantasy she had painted when she met Han. No, her parents were out there somewhere and they were going to come back. And when this war was over overseas…Rey was going to escape Plutt and go back home….to her _real_ home.

Still, after discovering the horrible truth, a deep agony still pulled at her heart. She would’ve wanted more than anything to meet Han Solo again. Would’ve paid any price, would’ve sacrificed if she could hear the husky voice of the man with a rugged yet kind heart. She would have given up all of her scavenging money if she could just meet him one last time.

The reality now was discovering the truth about his death. What happened to him? What happened to Han Solo?

This question is what drove Rey into pure determination. The truth, the truth about Han’s death. What vile thing took away the man who could have been her adopted father. Just like Lando was to Finn and Jannah.

Was it an accident? An illness or something more sinister altogether.

***

The next day Rey had conveniently agreed to help Finn with fixing up Lando’s Corvette. It would just be the two of them working on the car. It would be the perfect time to inquire about Ben’s father and hopefully discover some truths.

Later in the day Rey and Finn were leaning against the shiny Corvette taking a break after being elbows deep for about an hour in the engine’s bowels. They were greasy and sticky but that didn’t hinder them from having a good time. Being around Finn was easy, like hanging with your best friend. They were starting to know each other well and could even predict what the other was thinking. It still freaked her out how much he was able to read her.

It became more obvious when he blurted, “Ok, are you going to spit it out or am I gona have to beat it out of ya. I know somethings on your mind peanut. What it is?”

Rey sighed and curled in on herself. Was she that readable? Had Finn known something was on her mind this entire time. She instantly felt guilty and hoped he didn’t think she was using him just to get a chance to talk to him alone. Helping him only to get the information she wanted. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, she could never do that.

She breathed hard through her nose, “Guilty as charged.”

Finn chuckled as he padded the car’s hood, “C’mon peanut sit down and spit it out.”

She reluctantly turned and sat up next to him. She kept her eyes straight but didn’t hesitate to get straight to the point. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he nudged her, a little wary in the eyes by her expression.

“Did you know Leia Organa’s husband, Han Solo?”

Finn turned and looked at her surprisingly. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of her mouth and it was obvious. They were completely out of the blue for him and he wondered where this conversation would go. He hesitated and sighed before answering her question, “Yeah, I knew the man. I met him once. Got mad cause I called him ‘Solo’. When I first met him I said, ‘Hey Solo!’ which he responded by grumpily ordering me to call him Han. He was kinda rough around the edges.”

She chuckled as Finn recalled his past meeting with him. That sounded like something Han would say, he told her the same thing when her younger self tried to call him Mr. Solo. He hated formalities.

“Lando knew him too right?”

“Yeah they were war buddies and pilots together. Like brothers I guess even though I never saw them together. He always talks about the good old days with Han. They had a friendly rivalry going on but they never hated each other, as far as my father was concerned.”

Rey smiled, she recalled hearing how Lando, Chewie and Ben’s father were close. The first dinner at the Calrissians was when she first heard of the trio. Again she groaned to herself on how she didn’t put the pieces together as Han Solo being the same Han Solo that saved her life.

She forced her mind to get back on track, “What happened to him? Is it true that he passed away?”

Finn sighed but didn’t answer straight away. She could see hesitation creeping up on his face but was desperate for answers. He stayed quiet before breathing out, “Yeah, he died a little over a year ago. Almost two years ago actually. It happened a bit before Mayor Organa was elected.”

She didn’t wait a beat to ask, “How did he die?”

He hesitated again and looked around to see if there were any wondering ears. When the coast was clear he leaned a little closer to her. “I’m not sure Rey, he was killed….but they never said exactly how. There were only….rumors.”

A coldness crept up her arm like a snake slithering in the grass. She felt more hollow then when she had first heard about Han’s death out of his own son’s mouth. The air she was breathing felt colder and her eyes stung. “Killed? By who?” Maybe there was a mistake, maybe Finn meant something else.

“Look Rey I don’t know, I’m only telling you what I heard and saw. But it’s not my place to talk about this. I’m not comfortable talking about it.” His voice had a dark edge that she had never heard out of him, it made her shiver.

Rey panicked, “Finn! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, it’s just I need to know what happened.” Tears stung her eyes, her emotions betraying her. “It’s just, I knew Han Solo a long time ago, he saved my life back in Jakku and I’ve forever been indebted to him. He was the most amazing man I had ever met, it felt like he was the father I never had. I need to know what happened!” Her desperate attempt at getting Finn to understand tore at her. She didn’t want to force him to tell her but she needed the truth. She was turning too desperate and too foolish to listen to reason.

He stared at her stunned for a moment at the fact that she knew Han. He then reached over and took one of her hands, “Peanut, I didn’t know he meant that much to you, I didn’t know he saved your life.”

“It’s ok.” Her hand shook in his.

He breathed out heavily while resting his other hand on his head. They stayed like this for a while. The cold air filling up the atmosphere and the soft wind blowing the dead leaves made the moment last longer. It’s like they were frozen in time until Finn decided it was best to tell her everything he knew. He didn’t know what she would do with this information or how she would react. But the way he saw her become emotional over his death meant that she deserved the truth, or at least a bit of truth, no matter how twisted it would sound.

He swallowed and nodded like he was resolved to addressing the information she so craved. He let go of her hand and faced her. “Han Solo died while visiting the military academy I was in. I met him for the first time during his last visit. No one actually saw it, but he was killed out by the docs. They found his body there and…”

“And what?” Rey demanded.

“No one knows who killed him….but there were rumors.” His eyes turned dark again as he stared off into the setting sun.

“Rumors?” She questioned again as a chill ran up her spine making her almost wince. She did not like where this information was leading to.

“Yes, he…he was visiting Ben out by the docs supposedly. Remember I told you we were at the same academy.”

She nodded her head at the old memory and pleaded for him to continue.

“Well…the rumor was that Ben Solo….was responsible for his father’s death.”

The cold chill that had been crawling up her skin finally burst into a terror that she had never felt. Her whole body felt like ice, like being stuck in a freezer. Like being stuck in the hangar with Ben as he stood over his father’s body in the dream.

“What?” She rasped barely audible.

“I don’t know Rey. I’m only telling you the rumors. Han Solo was found dead at the docs with his son covered in his blood. No one actually saw him kill him but it was enough to convince me.” He stated bitterly like he didn’t even want to spill such vile information. “The whole thing got covered up somehow I guess by god knows how many officials. It was never actually decided the exact cause of death. My own father won’t even tell me the truth and I know he knows more than he lets on.”

Everyone knew more then they let on, she knew that now that Finn had confessed. What other secrets were being hidden from her by everyone else connected to the Solos. Either way she wouldn’t listen any longer to what Finn had to say.

“He couldn’t have…” She stated almost in denial. Denial that he was telling the truth. That Ben would actually kill his father.

“Rey, you didn’t see what I saw. The last time I saw Han alive was when him and Ben were heading towards the docs practically in a shouting match. They were arguing so loudly that the whole campus could probably hear. I saw the anger in Ben Solo’s face before he headed to the docs. He looked like an angry animal.” Finn winced as he finished. 

She shook her, “No, it can’t be. No…that can’t be true.” Her mind felt like it was melting and the room was spinning. She wondered if denial started playing its’ perfect part in her head. “I have to go Finn.” She stated like a zombie as she jumped off the hood of the Corvette and gathered her satchel.

“Rey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He pleaded with her as he followed her towards the street. “Look, you wanted to know the truth and now you know why I really don’t trust him. Why being even near him is difficult and hard!”

“Because of a rumor.” She spat back.

“Rumor or not Rey he is still a bad person! He doesn’t even seem remorseful. He’s an angry guy with issues bigger than anyone in this town combined!”

She highly doubted that, if anyone had bigger issues it was her. However, Finn had hit it on the nail with his second statement. Ben didn’t seem remorseful about his father’s death or even sad. It’s like he was empty, devoid of emotion. And Ben wasn’t always angry….at least not with her.

“I’ll find out the _real_ truth and then we’ll finish this conversation.” Rey stated boldly as she marched towards the street home. She felt terrible on the inside, like she was slapping her best friend in the face. She had just forced him to open up about something that clearly distressed him and then she throws it back in his face. Practically calling him a liar. She didn’t allow herself to cry…she was too angry at herself. Her own self-hatred acting as a barrier for the tears to fall.

Denial was eating away at her brain again like a wring warm that night. There was no way, no way that Ben could do such a thing. She thought about his soft smile, his deep laugh that would make her hairs stand up, the way his brows would crease when he would over think things, the way his beauty marks were accentuated by the sunlight, the beautiful poems he writes, the book that she sleeps with next to her almost every night, the coat currently wrapped around her and most all…his warm arms that made her feel safe. There was no way that those warm arms would kill their own father. No, Rey would discover the real truth.

***

The next morning Rey woke up with a severe headache. She had another nightmare, the same nightmare with Ben Solo, except this time Finn was standing in the hangar watching on. She hated herself, hated herself for not listening to her friend’s side of the story. How could she have treated him like that. He was probably upset with her for not listening or acknowledging his version of the story.

Today though, she would get some more answers. She needed to find another source. Another person who could give her more to this absurd version of Finn’s story. Why would he say it was Ben who killed him, he didn’t actually see him do it. Nobody actually did?

Rey thought of the next source as she dressed for school. She hated herself once again for thinking of confronting this person. But they surely must have known more than they were letting on. Afterall, it was this very person who had first brought up Han’s death in the most cruelest way possible.

***

Rey waited and waited outside the school yard for the little weasel to show himself. The spineless red head was bound to pass through the doors, no doubt with his ridiculous posse. She felt stupid for confronting Hux, but who else was she going to turn to. Maz had turned her away when inquiring about the Solo family, stating that she should just go straight to the source to find out the truth. Chewie would follow his wife and Lando surely couldn’t give her the information she wanted if he wouldn’t even give it to Finn.

Finn…. She felt bad about her friend for the prior evening and apologized the moment they met at school. They had smoothed things out, but also agreed not to speak of it again. That was until Rey got the full story of course. For the time being, she wouldn’t cause her friend anymore distress by bringing up Han Solo. She apologized if she had hurt him and promised not to do something like that again.

This left either Poe or Hux.

Poe would be too difficult to discuss this with. She felt it was too inappropriate and personal to discuss with him. Even he had blown her off when she inquired more. She remembered it when they were on their way to the dance. Poe had told her then that it wasn’t his place to discuss the Solo family issues. She knew he wouldn’t tell her anything in respect to his adoptive family. And she guessed she couldn’t blame him for that.

On top of that, Poe always seemed to defend Ben, in almost everything. He initially was the only companion that she had seen Ben had. What made him so defensive of the Solo family?  
Rey wasn’t paying attention as Hux exited the school doors alone. She came to her senses when she saw him walking down the sidewalk, no doubt on his way to his sleezy group of nerfherders. The ones that were insistent on making senior year a living hell.

She jumped up from the cement and dashed towards him. “Hux!”

He turned towards the sound of his name initially surprised. When he realized who had called him, he froze and narrowed his eyes at her.

Rey stopped a few feet in front of him and tried to be as civil as possible.

“What do you want!?” He snapped as he sneered at her. “You’re not with Solo are you?” He looked around nervously like Ben was hiding somewhere and they were going to jump him.

She laughed to herself, he was still afraid of their last encounter with him. _Good, he’s an idiot anyway_.

“Ben’s not here actually.” She saw the moment that Hux relaxed his face and turned back into the arrogant fool that he was. All bark and no bite.

“Then what do you want street rat?” He barked at her.

She had to bite her tongue from say something stupid that would push him away. She breathed once through her nose deeply and cleared her mind, cleared her mind of his remark. She looked around to make sure there were no other students around. “I have some questions for you. Why do you keep calling Ben a murder, what do you know about his father?” Her voice was steady yet nervous at the same time.

His eyes widened, unexpecting her to ask such a thing. After a moment a sadistic smile crossed his face. “Ohhh, I see. You want to know the truth now doncha?” He mocked her as he eyed her up and down. Something about it made her insides turn. She was truly beginning to hate Hux.

After a moment of silence, he started walking towards a shaded area of trees and gestured for her to follow. She rolled her eyes and had enough with his theatrics. She wanted to yell at him, tell him he was stupid and then punch him in his scrawny little pointed face.

As she followed him into the shade her anger got the best of her. “What’s the point of this!” She gestured dramatically at their new dark and private place. It was a bit frightening, the trees from the grove did an excellent job of blocking out the sun. She didn’t want to be alone with Hux in a secluded place, she might get tempted to punch him in the face if no one is around to witness it.

Once they were hidden enough he turned and faced her. “Some secrets are told best in the dark.”

“I’m being serious!”

“So am I!” He spat back at her.

“Tell me what you know.” She tried to keep her voice even and not let her anger flare through at the boy in front of her. She needed to play nice or civil to get the information she wanted.

“You wanted to know the truth. The truth is simple, I’ve been saying it to your face the entire time.” His voice was thick with venom and there was some truth to the way he said those words.

“What do you mean?”

“Ben Solo killed his own father! Are you stupid or something or do I have to spell it out for you.”

“You’re lying!” Again her emotions started betraying her. She was up on the defense immediately.

“Awwww, I get it, you didn’t want your _boyfriend_ to turn out to be a psychopath. Well sorry scavenger he is! He killed his own father and the whole thing got covered up! Guess it pays to be the mayor’s son. Nothing in this world makes sense except money. It can clean your hands of anything!” He spat the last part bitterly in her face, his own face red and hot.

She shook her head, afraid to be in the shadows any longer. She couldn’t take it anymore, Hux’s account matching with Finn’s made her stomach turn. She was about to dash away from Hux when he blurted, “4620 Varykino Way, search the archives, ask for the _Naboo Daily_, Issue 7. You can read the story yourself since you insist that hearing it isn’t enough.” He laughed at her menacingly as she skirted away from him. No longer able to take the aching pain in her chest. She couldn’t believe him she couldn’t. She closed her eyes as she ran off and thought of Ben’s arms that were warm. _No! He wouldn’t do something like that._

Within an hour she walked up the steps at 4620 Varykino Way and opened the large ornate doors that led her into the giant old library. She was greeted by a librarian on the way in and asked for the archives.

She didn’t know why she was doing this. Why was she doing this? Why was she so desperate to find out the truth, the real truth. She was turning into a madman and couldn’t stop herself.

But deep down she knew the truth, the real reason why she was on a wild goose hunt. Her reason was simple. No child would kill their own parent. It was impossible, it could never happen. Parents loved their children and children loved their parents back. Isn’t that how families worked? She could never ever even think about killing her own parents. No, Finn and Hux were wrong and she would prove it.

“These are all the archives here from the last 5 years. Is there a specific one you are looking for?” The old librarian gently tapped the shelved boxes filled with old papers and articles. The old dust almost made Rey sneeze.

“_Naboo Daily_, Issue 7.” She whispered gently, doing her best not to let her emotions slip.

The old librarian started searching through one of the boxes. After a few minutes of searching, Rey felt a pit in the bottom of her belly.

“It should be in here, but it appears to be missing from the records. It may be locked away for security purposes. May I inquire why you are interested in this issue?”

Rey felt her tongue go dry, “I-I’m inquiring for a school project on academies, you see I need news articles on military academies.” Her voice shook the whole time unsure if they were able to read through her lie. Rey was a terrible liar and she knew it.

The librarian continued to look through the boxed archives for almost a half hour but found nothing. “I’m sorry miss, but it would appear that particular issue is not here in the records. Which may seem odd since Issue 6 and 8 are here. I apologize but the Issue is not here and is no longer in our archives.”

Rey sighed frustratingly and groaned. This was getting her nowhere fast. She wanted to punch Hux all over again, he had placed her on a wild hunt for a newspaper article that probably didn’t even exist. She apologized and kindly thanked the aged librarian before rushing out of the old rustic building.

***

The following day her frustrations were getting the best of her. Plutt had been an absolute monster in the morning and her temper was spilling into her school day. She hardly talked to her friends, especially Ben, even though she did notice the way he seemed hurt by her ignoring him. It wasn’t entirely his fault or any of her friend’s fault really. She just couldn’t find any peace. She hadn’t slept right in the last few days and her nightmares grew immensely worse. It was the same nightmare over and over again, except this time Finn and Hux were both standing by as Ben stood over his dead father’s body.

She was ignoring her friends and everything in her life over the truth about Han Solo. It scared her. What was wrong with her? Why was she so anxious and hungry to know about his demise.

Later as Rey was leaving work, she spotted Hux waiting for her outside the yard. At first, she didn’t believe it was him, didn’t immediately recognize him. She froze when their eyes met and saw red. She charged towards him, “You liar!” she spat. “You led me on a wild goose chase! You made a fool out of me!” She shoved Hux to the ground in her anger and was about to tackle him when he pulled out a rolled newspaper from his bag and slapped her in the face with it.

“I knew they would try to erase it. I knew it! When I watched you at school today acting ‘normal’ with your friends, with Ben, I knew you didn’t find the article in the archives because it probably wasn’t there. Oh, I knew Mayor Organa was gooood but I didn’t know she was that _good_.” He cackled at her like a jackal as she grasped the newspaper and slapped him back with it. She stood up and unrolled the news article as Hux kept laughing hysterically on the ground.

The title was enough to unhinge her.

**_Teenage Boy Kills Father At Force Academy_**.

“I knew it would come in handy one day, I saved it after all this time. Can’t erase everything darling! Not even money can erase that, unless of course you have power which Ben’s family most certainly has. You think a newspaper article like that can remain in the archives with Mayor Organa being elected. It almost ruined her whole campaign, as it is her family has a dark past and now they have a dark present!” He threw his head back on the ground like a madman, like a snake recoiling and ready to strike again.

The headline was enough, her tipping point. Without another word she turned and walked away from Hux on the ground. He was still mocking her as she quickly moved away like a numb mindless creature.

She found somewhere to sit far away, as far away as possible from Hux and began reading the paper. Reading the blasted article that felt like a knife to the chest.

“**_Father, Han Solo, found dead impaled through the chest with SON standing over his dead body. Witnesses say the boy was responsible for his father’s death_**.”

She threw the newspaper article to the floor like it was burning her alive. She couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t. Her favorite friend denial came and crept its’ way in, like a warm embrace wrapping itself around her head.

Maz’s words came loud and clear in her head as she sat there with tears stuck in her eyes. Her very will acting as a dam to keep them from bursting down her face. “_If the truth is what you desire, perhaps you should go straight to the source.”_

The source….the source! It clicked in her head, Rey knew what she needed to do. Needed to do before she completely lost it. She snatched the paper from the ground with purpose and headed towards her destination. 

A few hours later she found herself in the park on Chandrila street. Waiting oh so patiently for him to show up. She was tired of this, tired of running away from the truth. She was going to confront Ben Solo now if it was the last thing she did. She suspected he would be walking BB8 in the park at this time and waited anxiously for his arrival. She would wait, wait all day and night if she had to.

Just as predicted, a few minutes later BB8 came running up to her. He gave her a few licks as she waited eagerly for his owner to show his face. BB had sensed something was wrong with her immediately, she was too tense, too eager and he whined as he rubbed up on her leg. She ignored the pup’s protests and kept her eyes straight for his owner to appear.

She hadn’t expected to see the face of Poe Dameron running towards her as he came after BB. “Poe?”

“Rey! How’s it going? We didn’t see you at Maz’s today.” He gave her a worried look as he came closer and leashed BB.

“I-I was busy with work. Where’s Ben?” She didn’t want to deal with Poe right now and got straight to the point. Her voice was hoarse and her puffy face probably gave her emotions away.

“Ben? He’s- are you okay Rey? You don’t look so good.”

“Just tell me where he is!”

He instantly flinched afraid at the tone in her voice. “Rey what’s wrong, you look a mess-.” He reached towards her and she stepped back.

“I’m fine.” She cut him off and stepped away from him. She saw the visible hurt on his face and hated herself even more. “I need to speak with Ben.” Again her emotions betrayed her for the thousandth time.

“About what Rey? You don’t look like you’re in the mood to have a conservation with him. You’ve been acting strange lately, even Finn. Please tell me what’s wrong. Why are you so upset?” He pleaded again but she ignored him.

“Poe please, tell me where he is.” He heard the desperation in her voice and it scared him.

“He’s not home Rey.” He finally sighed, “He’s working on something.” Poe hesitated like he was afraid to tell her where he was.

This irritated her more. She knew he was lying or trying to protect Ben somehow. “If he’s not home than he’s working at the hangar isn’t he!” She didn’t hide her anger, she had had enough.

Poe looked at her afraid, afraid that something was happening to her that he could not see with his eyes but felt in his bones. “Rey, that’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t need to say it. I already know where he is now.” With irritation she turned and left the scene. The last look on Poe’s face was probably going to leave her with scars, he looked so lost and he knew something was wrong with her. She pushed his face as far to the back of her mind as possible. She couldn’t think about him right now, she needed to find Ben.

Rey practically ran to the blasted old hangar where she knew he had to be. It surprised her how easy she reached the old building. She memorized the path just from two visits, both with Ben.

As she slipped through the hangar’s gates, the newspaper in her hand felt like molten lava. It was starting to crinkle in her fists from squeezing it so hard. She had pulled it out of her satchel on the way. The blasted thing felt like a death sentence written in paper.

Without thinking she burst through the plane hangar’s giant doors and entered the rundown building. When she walked in, she saw Ben Solo elbows deep beneath the Falcon’s engine. He was working like they had last time they were both here.

He was startled by her sudden appearance and practically jumped from the plane’s engine. When he saw it was her, he wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up by the Falcon. Something in him lit up at the fact that she had come to him. He felt his heart skip a beat, completely unaware of the oncoming storm that Rey was.

“Rey, what are you doing here? How did you know I was here, I…I was gona ask you to come but I didn’t think you wanted to today.” His voice was warm and his eyes lit up at the very sight of her. He appeared so happy at her presence, he gave her the softest smile and stepped closer to her.

However, within a few seconds his smile faded as he took in her appearance. His mouth slightly parted and his eyes widened. “Rey-”

“Did you do it!” She cut him off. “Did you murder him!” The tears that were held back suddenly burst like a dam as she spat those words at him. Her emotions were done through, she thought she would remain calm when confronting him, told herself to, but caution was thrown to the wind as she laid her eyes on him. She was shaking, the newspaper suddenly becoming much bigger in hand as her anger ripped through her. The wrath of Han’s death, of her savior’s death was clear in her eyes.

“ANSWER ME!”

Ben froze. The same look of shock and confusion clear on his face. He looked lost and clouded, like a boy lost in the dark.

In her anger she yelled at him and flung the newspaper at Ben’s feet. The article unrolled as it hit the ground before his very eyes and the headline blared in his face. Recognition became clear by his expression and he stepped back like he was burned. His eyes widened but didn’t leave the article.

“Did you kill Han Solo!” Her voice broke at the end, a sob escaping her. She wanted an answer, an answer now!

To her horror, Ben’s face took on that same detached and emotionless void that she had seen before. That same face whenever his father was brought in the conversations they had. Back then it had worried her but now it had absolutely terrified her. It was like putting on a mask of a different person.

He was trembling as his eyes bore into the paper at his feet. Within seconds the trembling ceased and he nonchalantly lifted his eyes away from the article towards her with the most emotionless expression she had ever seen on him. His face looked like a mask, a hardened mask with darkness in his eyes. It was almost as if the mask was concealing his true face/self. This was not Ben, but someone else. He looked like a cold and detached monster.

“**Yes**.”

He answered her question. He gave her the answer she wanted, that she craved.

Rey recoiled and felt the moment her eyes widened in horror. She hadn’t expected him to answer her straightforward. The masked boy before her was cold and his eyes dead. She started shaking violently as her vision grew dark and she felt the giant room closing in on her. The truth hit her in the head like a rock. Her mind felt like it had just burst into a million pieces of glass by his admission.

_Ben Solo killed his own father._

Suddenly within seconds every memory she had with Ben Solo had turned dark. Tainted by the horrible truth. She closed her eyes and thought of the moment that he had tucked her hair behind her ear after they’d fallen from dancing on the Falcon and realized now that it was a monster who had done that. A monster who had touched her. His soft humming in her ear as they danced was suddenly the sound of a monster, his gifts to her were suddenly the gifts of a monster, his smile was suddenly the smile of a monster and most of all his arms. His arms were the arms of a killer.

His hands that had touched her, were the hands of a murder.

She opened her eyes and glared at him with all the hatred in the world. He had used her, deceived her and betrayed her. Because of Han, because of what he did to the only man who had showed her kindness and mercy, she hated Ben Solo more now than Unkar Plutt. She couldn’t even look at him, couldn’t stand to be near him, couldn’t even think about his murderous deception. The bile in her throat made her want to vomit.

Ben Solo was a lot of things, liar, murder, patricidal hypocrite, a masked creature but most of all he was a monster. A monster for taking away the man that been like a father to her, her savior, the very reason she was still standing today.

“You’re a **MONSTER**.”

“A creature in a mask.”

Rey let the words flow out of her like a bitter truth. The venom and hatred clear in her voice and eyes. They were like daggers being thrown to hurt and disable. And they had hit their mark…

Within an instant he stepped closer to her with that same dark mask and narrowed his eyes at her. His eyes never left hers.

“**Yes I am**.”

He stated the words bitterly through clenched teeth. The self-hatred was clear as day in his voice. And the mask before her started to crumble.

She recoiled, taken aback by his sudden mask crumbling. What she saw after he admitted to being a monster was not what she expected to see. What she saw in his eyes was a coldness. Hurt and cold resentment mixed in one. He stared straight at her not even moving as the hurt was clear on his face and his lips shook. He looked so hurt and torn apart that Rey couldn’t take it any longer.

She shook her head and stepped back as more tears fell. The betrayal felt 10x worse by him openly admitting to being a monster and a creature. A simmering fire burned in her belly and she recognized it as a deep-rooted fear. She was afraid of Ben Solo, afraid of the monster in front of her. _His_ betrayal felt a million times worse now for how he made her feel. It felt like a cold knife through the chest. His admittance to killing his father made her feel a perfect mix of fire and ice. She never wanted to see him again, she wanted him to disappear from her life forever.

Rey made up in her mind that she would never see the monster Ben Solo ever again. With that she turned and dashed out of the hangar. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, her adrenaline at full speed. She needed to get away, run from the monster in the hangar and never look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the angst. There's more to the story, lots more and the next chapter will explain things with Ben. Thanks for reading and please comment and give feedback. I rely on commentary so please leave it! Stay safe, thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with the truth. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings! This next part of the story will be split into two chapters. I was gona force everything into one but it was too long and I'm not finished with the second part. I'll update the second half soon, when I finish. Have another dose of angst which will be followed by even more angst, sadness then fluff in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 20

The house felt empty and cold as Rey slammed the door shut, more than grateful that her foster parent wasn’t home, the air was too quiet and calm. He was probably out drunk somewhere, lying in the street outside some bar passed out. Good, that was where she wanted him instead of here.

Her chest ached and her lungs were exhausted, she had run home from the plane hangar without stopping once. It was pure adrenaline and the longing to escape that drove her forward. Her face was stained with an inglorious amount of dried tears, her eyes stung and were probably bloodshot red. She was grateful it had been dark out so people wouldn’t have questioned the girl running away like a lunatic.

She shuffled her aching feet to her bedroom and barley had enough strength to turn the light switch on. The light stung, it was already dark outside when she had run away from the monster in the hangar and her eyes were trying to adjust to the bright light bulb barely hanging from the ceiling as it swung back and forth in protest.

She was about to collapse on her bed from pure exhaustion when she spotted the hardcover book sitting next to her pillow. The book was opened face down, tilted upwards, it must have fallen out of her hand and landed that way when she fell asleep the previous night. A horrible dread burned deep inside of her and she was sure her stare had burned holes through the book’s hard cover.

Rey snapped inside, lost her resolve and yanked the wretched book from the sheets. The weight of it felt like the weight of Ben Solo’s betrayal. It made her want to break and tear it apart from the hinges. Rip apart the pages and shred them just like Ben had shredded her trust… her friendship and dare she say a part of herself. She didn’t know why it felt like that, like a part of her felt shredded and torn to pieces. Her heart was aching both physically and mentally which took her by surprise, she didn’t think that was possible. The source of the hurt was of course the murderous snake who had fooled her. The murderous snake who had wrapped his slimy scales around her and acted like he wasn’t one the whole time.

Her eyes were set ablaze as she held the book in her hand, staring at the front cover. The book he gifted her no longer felt like a gift, but a bad omen. “**Burn it**.” A deep dark voice inside of her twisted as she left her room and headed for the fireplace in the front room.

Plutt was a moronic fool as always. He had left the fireplace on when he left, something that was habitual. Rey had told him multiple times not to do such a stupid thing, it was how they lost one of their homes back in Jakku. She had suffered burns from that event by running back into the flaming house just to save her notebook with the tally marks. She couldn’t lose count of the days until her family returned, it had been worth the scorching heat.

But Plutt never listened, he was a drunken fool with no good logic left in him. He was constantly leaving the fireplace ablaze. Probably an attempt to warm his cold dead heart. Today however, the fireplace being left on was not an inconvenience. In fact, it was destiny playing with her. 

She neared the fireplace ready to set _Pride and Prejudice_ up in flames. “**Do it**.” The dark voice inside of her echoed. She stopped right in front of the fireplace and dangled the thick book over the flames. “**Do it. Make the sacrifice**. **You know you want to**.” The voice was seductive and almost comforting for the turmoil she felt inside.

It was a sacrifice. Rey knew deep down she cherished the book immensely but couldn’t keep it. Couldn’t keep something that was gifted to her by the boy who killed his father. Couldn’t keep any reminder of him and his false generosity. Her fingers started to sweat from the heat and the book was inches from slipping into the fire. She could see it sliding down closer to the flames. She felt the book release almost completely out of her hands until she stopped at the last second.

Her shaking fingers held onto the book’s hinges, as it dangled helplessly over the fireplace. For once in her life she felt power and control soaking into her from the flames. She had the power to destroy something and take control which was something her life never allowed her. All her life she had been constantly destroyed and controlled by the tragedies that came across her poor existence. She wasn’t free to control anything, except barely her own survival.

But now the flame’s heat spoke to her, told her to destroy and control. Take something back for once in her miserable life and obliterate, just like others had tried to obliterate her. Her eyes fixated on the wicked flames, watching them dance and she could already hear the pages crackling and burning in the fire when she would let the book land in the pit.

It would be so easy, so easy to have the power for once to do something on her own command. The power of life and death was in her hands and she felt a surge from that. Getting revenge on someone who had hurt and deceived her felt enticing. Avenging somehow the man who had saved her life felt like a balm to her aching soul. As stupid as burning a book sound, it still felt like revenge.

Her fingers unfolded to let the book fall but an image stopped her dead in her tracks at the last second. The image projected itself from the flames into her line of vision.

She was no longer looking down at the flames of the pit, but at the face of Ben Solo.

It was the very moment after she had called him a monster. The memory of his face came through to disable her. His eyes were filled with a dreadful hurt and his lips shook. The self-loathing was clear in his expression and he looked as though he had been shot in the gut.

Now that she had time to recollect on the moment, that face wasn’t the face of a murderous snake, it was the face of a hurt and shattered boy. A cracking dark mask being shattered straight down the middle it was she saw.

Rey stumbled back, clutching tightly to the book. Her head shook and she shivered trying to erase the expression that he had worn in the hangar, tried to erase the hurt in his dark eyes but it wouldn’t leave her. The way his lips had quivered made her back away from the fireplace and retract her steps into the room.

Once in her room again she slammed the novel on the wall as hard as she could muster in her weakened state and watched it slide down to land open on the floor. It was face down again and the pages were bent. Frustration finally caught up with her and consumed her like the flames in the pit. If she couldn’t burn it, she would at least torture it, damage it as much as she could without completely destroying it.

Ben’s face haunted her as she crashed into her bed. The sobs erupted from the bottom of her belly as she curled in on herself and let the tears fall once more. She had cried all night and couldn’t stop thinking about the broken mask of the monster back in the hangar.

***

Rey dreaded the very thought of going to school the next morning. She didn’t want to see anyone or anything, not her friends, not her classmates, not her job, not Hux, not the betrayers, no one. She wanted to stay home, locked away in her room, secluded away in her own misery. She almost did it, almost stayed home but knew that Plutt would bring down hell on her for not going to work.

Her nightmares had been amplified to the max last night. It was the same as usual, Han dead in the hangar, with witnesses around. Except this time there were two versions of Ben standing over Han Solo’s body. One with an expressionless mask shrouded in dark and the other with a broken and horrified expression.

She crawled out of bed like a crippled child and dressed for school, dreading the moment she would have to encounter familiar faces. The world felt much darker now that she discovered the truth about Han Solo. Her best and only option was to just embrace the darkness and wallow in its’ clutches.

As she walked into class, she was surprised to see two empty seats near Finn and Rose. It wasn’t until she sat down and heard Mr. Tekka lecturing that she realized who the two empty seats belonged to. They belonged to Poe…and Ben.

A relief washed through her that they were both absent, she concluded that she didn’t want to see either one of them again. The monster and the monster’s defense, her hatred burned at both. Especially Poe who chose to willing stand by a murderer. Now that she thought about it, everyone else in Ben’s life was standing by a monster too. Chewie, Leia, Maz and Lando, none of them appeared to treat him differently even though they knew the truth. Did they know the truth? Her anger suddenly amplified at everyone in this town. She couldn’t wait to escape Naboo and go back home to Jakku where people didn’t murder their own parents and have the town turn a blind eye.

“_Not even money can erase that, unless of course you have power which Ben’s family most certainly has_.” Hux’s words came back to memory to remind her of how Ben had gotten away with it. Power, power was what made people turn a blind eye, it must have been what made the information become erased from the archives. Leia Organa had probably done that, she had used some sort of power to erase the treacherous deed that her very own son had committed. How much more twisted could this town get, with a corrupted politician and a patricidal teenager to match.

“Rey?” She heard the gentle whisper of Rose beside her which broke her thoughts. “Are you okay?”

Rey slightly turned to have Rose eyeing her with a worried expression. The concern was clear in her eyes and her brows furrowed in confusion.

“I’m fine.” She lied, of course she lied, what else was she going to tell her.

Rose took in her tired eyes and the deep dark circles there. She was not fine, but Rose would drop it until later.

All day Rose had tried her best to get her to talk, but nothing she did was successful. She repeatedly told her friend she was fine and Rose concluded not to reach any deeper than Rey was allowing her. It would be an endless battle with no sides breached. But when Rey was ready to talk, Rose would be waiting for her, ready to listen.

Finn however knew better, much better. He knew something was wrong with her the moment his eyes met hers and had an inkling what it might have been connected to. Both Ben and Poe were absent today and he had a gut feeling that something was up. Both of them being missing out of the blue wasn’t something normal for them, especially when he and Poe had made plans for later today. Something crawled in Finn’s skin and he wouldn’t stop until he reached Rey.

Finn waited until him and Rey could have a chance alone to speak. The wait had been exhausting all day, he couldn’t figure out what was exactly wrong with her and his frustration grew. He awaited her arrival outside of Maz’s later that day and made sure no one was around. Once he spotted her, he cornered her by the diner’s entrance, “Rey, what’s wrong with you, what happened? Spit it out. And don’t say the words ‘I’m fine’ like you have been all day. You look like hell, no offense.” He put his hands up to show no harm done at his last comment.

Rey’s resolve began to crumble but couldn’t look him in the eyes. She kept them straight forward and her lips trembled. After a quick minute she cleared her throat, thick with an endless emotion, “You were right Finn, congratulations, you were telling the truth.” She tried to brush past him to enter the diner but he put his arm out in front of her to halt her movement.

“What?”

“You heard me,” her voice was even and laced with bitterness. She shook her head and started walking the opposite direction away from the diner. He stopped her before she could reach the street.

“Rey? What’s going on, what do you mean-”

“You were right Finn! He killed his own father. It came straight from his lips. I misjudged you and hurt you and I’m so sorry.” By the end of her words her emotions broke through and her eyes stung. She started hyperventilating until Finn grabbed her gently by the shoulders and sat her down on the curb.

“Rey, tell me please, what happened, everything.” He shook her softly to center her as she gazed off at the cobbled street that was before her. Everything felt hazy and her head hurt as she regurgitated everything that had happened the previous day. Not skipping a beat, not missing any details.

By the end of her recollection Finn felt his head spinning too. He stared at nothing across the road with a hopeless look in his eyes. His thoughts were murky and blinded by a cold rage at the hurt that she permanently wore on her face.

“I’m sorry Rey. I really truly am,” he breathed out. “I had secretly wished with all my power that I had been wrong for your own sake. I thought that maybe there was a chance I was mistaken and maybe, just maybe it was something else that killed Han. I knew how much he meant to you Rey, and if I could, I would lie to you and tell you that Ben didn’t do it. …But I’m so sorry that I can’t.” His voice trailed off at the end and he rested his chin on his hands as he shook his head in disbelief. The anger radiating off of him was palpable almost like a live wire.

Rey suddenly felt guilty for bringing out this anger in him. It was her who had indirectly made him this way and she couldn’t let him live with that angry guilt on his conscious.

“I’m not sorry. I didn’t want a lie, I wanted the truth and I got it,” she gritted out with the most animosity that she had stored up in her. “I asked for this, I asked for the truth. But, I didn’t think it would hurt this much,” her voice was laced with agony and she was sure her eyes were going to be permanently damaged from all the crying she had done.

“The truth has taught me one thing Finn, one crucial fact to life. There is nothing worth good in life, nothing but fortune and power.” She stood up to leave, unaware of how the truth to her words had stung, she was tired of talking about this. Tired of acknowledging the bitter truths in life.

“That’s not true Rey,” he stood to contradict her. “There is one thing, one thing that is more powerful in life.” He didn’t let her leave without finishing.

“I’ve seen it between people, between me and my sister. In the moments where everything seems lonely and desolate. I’ve seen it between my adoptive parents. I’ve seen it in other people too believe it or not. I may not understand it completely and some people may take their whole lives just to comprehend it. It’s something felt and not always easy to decipher. But there is something Rey. It’s the love between people, the bonds between people, love is supposed to be more powerful.” He stated the words with a finality that almost made Rey believe in him. He sounded so sure of himself yet unsure at the same time, she could see the hesitation on his face. It was his greatest attempt to comfort her, bring her some sort of solace, but it didn’t reach.

She was tired of the false preaching. “Yeah… but not in this town.” She rolled away from him and entered the diner in one swift movement where she sat and waited for Rose to come, not caring if she had hurt Finn with her last statement or not. Love and attachment were useless in life, they didn’t get you anywhere, at least not in Naboo anyway.

***

The next day Ben Solo had missed school again much to everyone’s surprise except Finn and Rey. They were eternally glad that he hadn’t shown his face yet. These last two days had been easier to get through without him.

Rey seriously thought about switching schools and leaving Jedi High, never having to face him again when he returned. But then she would have to leave Finn and Rose behind and that would never sit well with her. She couldn’t leave the last two friends she had left behind. The only _real_ friends she had ever known.

To her surprise though Poe had shown up to school at the last second and barley acknowledged his friends let alone anyone else. He kept his head down most of the day and only spoke to Finn every so often when prompted. Their conversations were somewhat tense and straightforward which was not a common occurrence. He made excuses for skipping lunch and constantly ignored any eye contact with Rey.

His behavior bothered her immensely at first but then she remembered she wanted to hate him anyway. It amazed her that Finn still had the patience to be his friend despite knowing the truth. The truth hung between all three of them the entire day, like an elephant in the room, like a guillotine waiting to be dropped and Rey knew things were never going to be the same. No matter how much they all tried to ignore the obvious.

When Rey finally got a good glance at Poe’s face, all she saw there was the weariness and fatigue etched into his skin. He looked tired and had dark circles around his eyes. It looked like he hadn’t slept in ages, it unnerved her and she wondered what might have happened at the mayor’s residence for him to appear so… .

Rey was walking down the school’s steps as the bell rang when she noticed Poe sitting at the base. Finn and Rose were nowhere in sight and she thought about ghosting past him, acting like she hadn’t seen him. He was anxiously tapping his thumbs together, looking like he was deep in thought and if he should go through with something or not. He looked resolved for confrontation.

She gritted her teeth and did her best to walk right past him unnoticed. She was successful in ignoring his path until she felt Poe tug on her arm from behind. “Hey, we need to talk,” his voice was firm and had a hint of accusation in it.

She pulled her arm out of his grasp, it wasn’t tight but she didn’t want him touching her. “I have nothing to say to you,” she hadn’t meant for the resentment to reek through but it had.

“Oh really, says the person who had a lot to say the other day,” he snapped at her and didn’t hide the venom behind his voice. He had never talked to her this way before in all the time she knew him.

The ticking bomb in her head went off. “What! How dare you-”

“What did _you_ do Rey!”

“What do you mean, what did _I_ do!” she drew out the emphasis on _I. _

“I think you know what you did.”

“No! Tell me exactly what ‘_I’ _did wrong.”

The other students had filed away from the steps and it was just the two of them.

“You have no idea what you’ve done, your so foolish!” he gritted out in frustration.

“_I’m_ the foolish one!” again she emphasized herself. “I’m not the one with a murderous snake for a brother!”

“You ignorant child, you know nothing!”

“I know everything I need to know about you and him and this entire town!”

“You do?” he challenged her.

“Yes, and I don’t need you telling me what I am and what I’m not. You know nothing about me!”

“And you know nothing about me or Ben or our family!”

“I know that Ben killed his own father and that you willingly decide to stay by his side knowing the blood he has on his hands. I don’t need to know more than that. That explains enough about you, Ben and everyone else connected to it.” She didn’t hide the cold malice in her voice, it amazed her how hard she glared at him now.

He took his time to breathe deeply before continuing. “You have no idea Rey, no idea what we’ve been through these last two days, what we’ve been through these last two years,” his voice trailed off into a hollow whisper. “You don’t know everything, you don’t know what really happened. You know nothing!”

Her emotions shook at the way he gazed at her with a pleading look. Poe stared at her with a look that told her he wish she understood. The look said, “You ruined everything, your ignorance ruined everything.”

After a few seconds of pure silence he scoffed, “You know, here I thought that maybe just maybe something good could walk into Ben’s life for once. Maybe understand him a little better but pfft boy you proved me wrong. You’re just like everyone else.” He shook his head at her incredulously before turning away and leaving her standing alone by the steps.

Rey was sitting alone in Maz’s diner, waiting for Finn and Rose to show up. She skipped work, not caring to show her face, she couldn’t work in her current condition, her state of mind wouldn’t have allowed her. Her foot was tapping repeatedly on the polished floors, the echoing sound giving her something to think about besides her previous conversation with Poe Dameron. Her anxiety was spiked, her anger flared and her emotions were in turmoil. She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t focus on anything, she wondered now why she was sitting in the diner like she would be able to study. Her mind wandered, wandered into that deep dark place of self-loathing.

A few minutes later she saw Chewie enter the front of the diner with a paper bag in his hand. He smiled as he passed Rey’s table but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He looked defeated and worn down.

He propped the paper bag on the counter and shook his head at his tiny wife from across the glass case of desserts.

She sighed defeatedly and gestured for him to join her on the other side of the glass. Once next to his wife, they began conversating, “How is he?” The small women whispered gently to her giant husband.

Chewie shook his head, “The same as yesterday, only this time Leia worries it may last longer.” A grim look crossed his features as he pursed his lips together.

As if on cue Rey turned her head towards the older couple to listen in. She hadn’t meant to, but her thoughts snapped into focus on the mention of Leia’s name. She did her best to remain conspicuous and oblivious to their conversation.

The older woman sighed, “It’s not as bad as the first birthday is it?”

“No, I’m afraid it might be worse, much worse. I’ve never seen him like this, it’s like the beginning all over again.”

Maz Kanata adjusted her large glasses, “I guess the best thing to do would be to give him time. I don’t know what much else could be done. If Leia calls on you again, you must go, you may be the only one who can help.”

“I don’t know what much else I can do. It seems different this time, like he’s broken even further somehow which I didn’t even think could be possible.”

The older woman nodded, “Nothing is impossible, especially for someone with a broken soul.”

A few seconds later, Finn and Rose had entered the diner to join Rey.

Rey pushed the conversation she had just heard to the back of her mind and locked it away with a key. Ignoring the details and focusing on her friends before her as the books were pulled and the study session began. No one asked why Poe hadn’t come and Rey was grateful for it. She did her best to control her emotions and erase the anxiety from her mind.

***

_Rey was standing in the old plane hangar on top of the Falcon. The giant room was dark and the only light visible was centered on the old rugged plane. She couldn’t see a thing except the plane on which she stood. Ben Solo was standing directly across from her covered in blood, shaking violently. She backed away in her horror at the blood he was covered in. That was Han Solo’s blood, he had killed him. _

_Ben mimicked her movements and suddenly backed away from Rey. He looked upon her in horror. It was then that she realized that the blood wasn’t Han Solo’s, it was his. Ben was covered in his own blood as he gazed at her in terror and agony. _

_She stepped back, confused as to why he was covered in his own blood. In that instant she felt her fingers curled tightly around a cold object. She then looked down at her own shaking hand and noticed there was a dagger drenched in blood she was clutching tightly. Her eyes immediately snapped back to Ben’s only to see him fall to his knees. He had his head bowed down as blood started pouring out of his chest. _

_The pieces fell into place as she realized that she had been the one to run the dagger through Ben’s chest. His bloody body stayed upright on his knees as the blood continued to flow until it hit Rey’s feet. The watery sound of it splashing against her boots as she backed away was enough to send her reeling. The dagger dropped out of her hand immediately as she stared at the destruction she had just caused. _

_As she turned to run away to escape, her lungs collapsed when she came face to face with her own dark reflection. It was like looking into a mirror. The dark reflection gazed back at her with an evil knowing smirk as she echoed the words, “You’re a monster!”_

Rey awoke with a loud scream that was enough to send her flying out of bed. She landed on the cold floor, panting heavily, sweat sliding down her neck. Her head spun, her thoughts jumbled until the reality of it just being a nightmare had settled in. It had felt so real though… .

She sat up against the bed and pulled her knees to her chest, afraid to close her eyes and see her dark reflection again. The dream played on a loop in her mind as well as Poe’s words to her earlier.

There was only one solution to this, one way out of this mess she found herself in. Rey knew what she needed to do, she needed to confront Ben Solo again.

***

It wouldn’t be hard to find him, or so she thought. It was the weekend and there was a high chance he would be working on the Falcon. Her first failed attempt to catch him was at school, which proved to be futile. Mrs. Tano’s poetry meeting was today in the student’s lounge but he hadn’t shown his face. That poor endeavor had turned out empty handed.

However, Mrs. Tano did seem concerned about Ben and even asked Rey if she knew anything about his whereabouts for the past two days. She shook her head and lied, not wanting to be near the poetry group any longer. Being there had reminded her of Ben’s poems and the betrayal stung even deeper.

A part of her pondered if she would even be able to track him down at all. Would he even be at the old hangar like he normally was? She decided to take a chance and look for him at the hangar, it might be a big chance, but one worth taking. What else did she have left to lose in her miserable life. Even if he wasn’t there, then that’s that, at least she attempted to confront him again.

A huge pit hit the floor of her stomach when she approached the plane hangar and saw the gate unlocked. _So he’s here_, Rey thought to herself as she pushed her way through the gate. The metal sound of the gate grating as she moved gave her chills. Something about approaching the entrance made her want to lurch and run for the hills.

This place stored bad memories now, all the good ones washed away by the truth, like a giant wave scattering the sand. This place where she had heard the direct truth about Han Solo’s death, made it so much harder to enter. A dark fear gripped her and she was afraid of what was on the other side.

Rey took three deep breaths to center herself before pushing through the entrance to the old building.

He was there. Under the Falcon, just as she predicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger hehehe. I promise to update the next part soon. Please comment, I love feedback! Take care!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with the truth. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, part 2 is here, took a great deal out of me to get it out. Have another dose of angst, sadness and then fluff, in that order. Slight mentions of abuse,some gore (not severe), heads up. Thanks for reading!

CHAPTER 21

The giant hangar felt empty and hollow, even though there were numerous planes scattered throughout. The air was thick almost suffocating as she stood there unnoticed by the boy moving under the old broken plane. The light from the hole on the roof was shinning down perfectly on the Falcon, giving it a warm glow. However, the boy under it was cast in darkness under its’ shadow.

His movements were jarring, accelerated with contempt and disgust at the old piece of metal. He clanked and banged on the old engine like he was trying to tame a wild beast by whipping it. She couldn’t see his face but imagined the abhorrence there as he worked away.

His movements were so intense she had to move her eyes away from him. As she did, that’s when she saw it, the scattering of glass that littered the cold floors. She followed the sea of glass until it led her eyes to a smashed in fighter plane. The small plane was almost completely destroyed. The windows were smashed in and the wings were bent inward in an awkward position. The body of the tiny plane was completely reshaped in multiple places where it looked like someone had struck it with a hammer or metal bar over and over and over again. The engine was torn apart and hanging from its’ belly.

Rey gasped audibly at the destruction before her earning her the attention she wanted. She heard a loud metal clang hit the floor and the movement of the rolling board from under the Falcon.

Her eyes shifted towards his in an instant only to have him already staring at her. Their eyes met and they both froze, like wooden statues. She stared back at Ben with widen eyes and her mouth open. She couldn’t conceal the surprise on her face or believe with her own eyes the boy in front of her.

His eyes which were once a warm golden brown were now black, pitch black like the dead of night. The dark circles around his eyes told her he hadn’t slept since their last encounter. His proud cheeks looked sunken in and sharp almost razor like. He seemed thinner, much thinner and his dark hair was a maze of tangles which probably hadn’t been combed through in days. It contrasted his skin perfectly and made him look more pale. He was so pale… .

He looked sick, like he was succumbing to some sort of illness or affliction. Rey wondered if it was physically or mentally, she knew both could be just as lethal. The loss of life in his eyes was almost enough to draw her to him and beg him for an explanation. The loss of light in his eyes was enough to convince her to turn around and run from the hangar again. He was the masked creature all over again with no emotion left in him, the familiar presence made her want to scream.

She almost ran again but stopped herself. No, she would get an explanation from him if it was the last thing she did on earth before she was dead. She didn’t care if Han Solo wasn’t her father and it was most likely impertinent to demand an explanation from his son. She would not run this time, she wouldn’t run from the monster.

Rey was about to open her mouth to form the beginning of a sentence when he abruptly turned his back to her and went back to working on the Falcon. He didn’t even look at her as he returned, refusing to acknowledge her presence by keeping his back evenly towards her.

He was ignoring her and it was blatantly obvious, only a fool would think otherwise. By the way his movements were, she could tell he was hoping she would just turn around and leave, like she had the last time she was here. Not once in her life since she’d known him had he ever treated her like this, ignoring her like a pestering intruder, a small part of her hated to admit that it stung. Well he was a jerk to her in the past, he never flat out ignored her presence like he did now.

He was back to tinkering with the engine’s bolts and didn’t bother to give her the time of day, not a single glance. The aggressiveness radiating from him was palpable as he wretched off the plane’s screws and practically chucked them across the room. The loud echo of the screws landing on metal nearby made her jaw clench. He banged on the engine’s metal loudly and purposely to drown out whatever words Rey was attempting to speak.

The anger within her stirred like a boiling pot of water. _How dare he_.

Her contempt at the boy under the plane intensified and her good conscious was thrown to the wind. She marched her way over to him practically stomping and stood right by the engine where she knew he could see her. The glass from the nearby broken plane crunched under her boots as she moved closer.

He still continued to ignore her, his eyes trained intently on the engine as he screwed on the bolts and his hands began to clench tightly to the wrench he was holding. The closer she got to him, the more he tensed. He was so rigid she thought he was going to break off the engine in front of her instead of repair it.

Choosing not to hyperventilate from her increasing anger and anxiety, she counted to ten and cleared her throat loudly, “Ben?”

She waited for him to respond and acknowledge her, but nothing happened. She began counting the number of seconds it would take for him to respond but stopped once she realized he wasn’t going to budge. Rey clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, the anger started radiating off of her like a stench.

“Ben Solo!” she finally hollered, loud enough that she was sure that her echo in the building was what sent the birds flying just outside the large windows. She was sure it was what made him snap now.

He dropped his wrench to the ground with a loud clank, “So it’s Ben Solo now, what happened to _Monster_!” He spat the words at her like daggers aiming to disable, just like she had disabled him when she called him that. His voice was hoarse and she wondered if he had done his own fair share of yelling and shouting since she last seen him.

“Go away,” he mumbled darkly at her before going back to tinkering with the wires. He was obviously struggling with them and needed a second hand to hold them apart. She had done that for him the last time they worked on it together. The distant memory made her feel a deep sense of sadness.

“I’m not leaving,” she ground out. “I-I want an explanation.”

He scoffed at her in detest, “An explanation! You don’t get an explanation!”

This was it, his final breaking point. He jumped up from the floor and hovered over her like a dark shadow within seconds. A small part of her brain told her to run but she ignored it.

“Leave now!” He snapped away from her and headed towards the back of the Falcon. Before he did, she saw up close the mask that was deteriorating. Underneath the mask he wore she could see the hurt etched there, like permanent marks. He was obviously hurt with her and something twisted inside her gut at the knowledge of that probably being true.

“No! I’m not leaving until you give me an explanation.” She rounded him at the back of the plane. “Why did you hate him? Why did you hate your father give me an honest answer! You had a father who loved you, he must have given a damn about you!” 

“I didn’t hate him!”

“Then why?!”

“Why what?”

Rey hesitated as tears gathered in her eyes.

“Why what- say it!” The resentment in his eyes made her back away from him.

“Why did you-,” she became overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t finish her sentence. “Why did you kill him, I don’t understand.” She shook her head in disbelief like she could never fathom what he had done. The tears finally streaked down her face as she did. He was seeming to bring out these forbidden emotions from her, the ones she refused to let others see, as she stood before him with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“No- you couldn’t understand could you, considering you don’t have any parents. That’s what you saw in him isn’t it. You feel like Han Solo was like the father you never had, he would’ve disappointed you!” Rey flinched as his voice escalated, feeling like a cold blade, aiming to disable her again. This was going to turn into a shouting match she was sure of it.

“Am I right!”

“Get out of my head!” she growled at him as more tears fell. She felt a deep sense of indignation at the fact that he had assumed correctly. She did think of him as a father and the fact that Ben had perceived that made her angrier that he was continuing to read through her, like he was rummaging around in her head somehow, against her will. It wasn’t fair. No one had truly done that before, she always kept her mental shields up, never allowing others to read her unless at her beck and call.

But this, this was different, he had hit it right on the nail and it made her uneasy. It’s like he was reading her like an open book, something she loathed to admit. “He saved my life, what did you expect!”

He flinched at her statement and turned to walk away from her, aiming for the nearest exit.

“Ben! We need to talk,” she followed him tracing his steps.

“No, we don’t! I don’t owe you anything. Who are _you_ to demand an explanation from me? You’re no one, just a scavenger that came rustling into this god forsaken town!” A snarl escaped his lips as he picked up a large piece of glass and slammed it at the wall. The glass shattered into a million pieces like hard rain falling before sunrise.

Rey froze, unable to move, paralyzed by his violent outburst. She thought she would be afraid, terrified to the core at the scene that just played out before her. But for some reason she wasn’t. She’d seen men have violent outbursts before, especially Plutt, on a daily basis.

However, this outburst felt different, he wasn’t using violence as a manner of dominance and control like she was used to. He was using it as a defense, like a wild animal trapped, afraid of being captured. It was all in his eyes, she could see his agony and felt what he was feeling. She wasn’t quite sure if it was because of all the times she had studied him or something else.

His shoulders heaved and his breaths were rapid. She could see the cold air escaping his mouth with each breath he took. His lips quivered almost as if in a silent prayer, asking to be released from this pain. He didn’t say a word as he turned his back to her and started shaking violently.

They stayed like this for a few minutes. Rey, just watching his back vibrate violently with emotion as the tears dried on her swollen face. Her throat felt hoarse from the yelling and she swallowed multiple times in an attempt to ease the lump there.

“Ben,” her voice was a gentle whisper being carried by the wind directly to him. “If you didn’t hate your father. Then what happened?” She kept her voice calm and dare she admit almost soothing, like she was soothing a scared animal or scared boy. She thought he wasn’t going to respond until he did.

“You want to know the truth?” He kept his back to her, his shaking subsiding, as he ran a hand through his dark wild hair.

“Yes,” she breathed out, not realizing she had been holding her breath at his question.

Instantaneously he turned and walked right past her to enter the Falcon. He didn’t glance at her as he climbed the ramp and entered the cockpit. She didn’t turn to follow him and kept her head straight. Her eyes closed and she could hear his movements from inside. Rey suddenly felt the air changing in the giant hangar.

Ben reached for the golden dice hanging from the pilot’s seat and grabbed them before heading back to the ramp. The very act had taken all of his strength from him and the dice felt like a heavy weight on his chest. He steadied himself against the Falcon’s interior, using it as a support for the story he was about to tell her, the story he was about to relive. He stayed silent for a good amount time with Rey still facing away from him.

Everything screamed within him to abort his resolve and send her away, he didn’t need to tell her _anything_. But he knew deep down, she wouldn’t stop, she was too determined for that, he knew that more than anyone. She wanted the truth and he wouldn’t deny her it. Even if recollecting the event was bound to render him in two, even if he wouldn’t recover from reliving this memory, even if his very soul cried out not to verbally recall the event, he couldn’t deny her anything. He learned that now, from the very moment he laid eyes on her freckled face and warm eyes. He wouldn’t deny those eyes anything… .

He latched onto a metal railing in the Falcon, one he used to swing from as a child, the better memories of his life, using it as a life support as he spoke clear for the first time in days. If she wanted an explanation, he would give it to her. It’s not like it would change anything anyway. He would always be a monster to her.

“It’s… been 18 months since…”

_18 Months Ago_

_Ben knew his father was coming for a visit, his mother had told him so, written it in a letter. He just didn’t think he would actually show his face, you know like a real father would when their child was away. _

_The moment he saw the older man walking through the barracks towards him he felt a deep surge to run away. He didn’t need Han Solo and Han Solo didn’t need him, Ben had learned that during his time at the academy. He was probably only showing his face now because his mother had made him. This was probably a guilt trip more than anything, an attempt to appease the harsh truth that his parents had sent him away. Guilty people always found some way to atone for the things they’d done by playing the good guy, acting like the decisions they made had been for the better, the greater good. Sometimes even villains and bad people acted that way._

_Ben knew this is what his parents did and what they were doing now by showing up for a visit. He was not looking forward to seeing Han Solo as he was the last person he wanted any interaction with. Perhaps he could escape their eventual meeting by ignoring him or acting like he hadn’t seen him._

_After all this time, he finally wanted to act like a real father. Like he didn’t just abandon him multiples times to go on some glorious smuggling mission or leave for days/weeks after his parents had a huge fight. He was always leaving, whether it was by plane, by car, by train, he was always watching his father leave him on some sort of transportation. Especially the Falcon, he lost track of how many times his father had left him on that blasted plane. Watching him leave on the Falcon always felt like ripping off a band aid, fast but stung deeply. _

_But now he was watching his father come to him instead of leaving and it scared him. This wasn’t something he was used to and it made him want to flee, flee from the unfamiliar. _

_“Ben!” he hollered at his son from far to call him over. _

_Ben hesitated and didn’t move, something rising inside of him, he recognized the feeling of resentment. _

_“Hey Kiddo,” Han Solo was obviously displeased that his son hadn’t come to him when he initially called to him. “How’s it going.” He padded his son on the shoulder like they were buddies or close friends, the gesture made him want to hurl. _

_Han kept his hand on Ben’s shoulder as he eyed the obvious turmoil his son was enduring. He could see the dark circles around his young son’s eyes and the scars that were covered up. He saw the concealed healing gashes on his arms and noted the slight purpling on the side of his neck. If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, he could have sworn that the dark circle under his left eye was a healing shiner. _

_The boy was being tortured and he knew it. Han gritted his teeth at the sight of his damaged son and clutched tightly to his shoulder. All he saw in that moment was the little boy with the wild dark hair, flying across the room with his arms stretched out as he swung his son in the air pretending to be a pilot. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm the rising agony at the sight of his boy who was well on his way in surpassing him in height. _

_Ben became self-conscious at the look in his father’s eyes and shrugged him off. “Fine.” His voice was even and had no emotion whatsoever._

_“Good, that’s good kiddo,” Han huffed as he ran a hand over his rugged beard, trying to regain control of his emotions. The man had aged a great deal since Ben last saw him. The gray hairs had slowly started to appear on the man’s head, yet he still had his roguish looks and style._

_ An awkward silence then fell between them and neither of them knew what to say next to the other. They hadn’t talked in over a year, much to Ben’s liking, he had nothing to say to the pilot._

_Han casually cleared his throat, “How’s it been here Ben, you liking it? I hear the academy has been offering-”_

_“Why are you here?” Ben couldn’t hide his aggressive tone as much as he tried when he cut him off. He knew his father was stalling from explaining the reason why he was really here. His small talk was pointless. He had to have come with some sort of goal or content. Ben didn’t want to play any games including acting like everything was fine between them, he wanted to get straight to the point. _

_Han sighed, “I could never get anything past you, could I kid. You always knew better.”_

_“So why are you here?” Irritation colored his voice again the longer his father stalled. _

_“I’m here to bring you home.” Han’s rough voice rang with a sense of finality, like no objections would be allowed in this conversation. He was removing his son from his torturer if it was the last thing he did on earth. _

_“Bring me home,” he snorted. “Why would you want me home, you sent me away from home and now you’re telling me to come back!” Ben hurled away from Han Solo heading as far away from the man as possible._

_ What a joke, his own parents had him shipped off and kept their precious charity case at home while he suffered. He remembers the day they had sent him away and the guilty look on his adopted brother’s face as he left. They had their golden child, they didn’t need him. _

_“Ben!” His father’s voice echoed loudly through the campus as he struggled to follow his son. _

_He ignored his father and continued striding away from him, hoping to lose him in the academy’s walls. _

_“Ben wait!” He hollered again as his son continued to flee from him. Frustration finally caught up with the older man as he snapped, “Benjamin Solo!”_

_“What!” He yelled back at his father furiously, earning him looks from the other students around, including the one boy named Finn. _

_“I said to wait! Can’t you just listen!”_

_“Listen to what, a hypocrite!”_

_“Watch your tongue boy!”_

_“Go to hell!” Ben snapped and headed for the docks, where he could disappear easily in the multitude of sailing boats. He could already hear the hushed whispers about the commotion they were making, but could care less. If Han Solo wanted a scene then he would get one, if he wanted a shouting match, he would most definitely get one. He should have never showed his face here._

_“Hey Solo…ugh Mr. Solo sir-, is everything alright?” The boy Finn questioned the older man as he watched his son fleeing from him. There was a weariness to his eyes like something wasn’t right._

_“I told you the name’s Han! Get it right kid,” he growled out before chasing after his son. _

_“Oh, right, umm sorry Mr. Han-I mean- Han.” Finn put his head down embarrassed before realizing the older man had already walked away. _

_Ben didn’t stop moving until he could hit the edge of the academy’s shipping docks and lose his father. As he came close, he realized that all of the sailing boats were out at sea. He had forgotten about the sailing tournament today and cursed loudly at the predicament he was about to find himself in. _

_He had forgotten all about the competition which some of the guys in his battalion had joined and even invited him to. He wished now more than ever that he had accepted the invitation and spent the day at sea instead of dealing with seeing Han Solo. What a stupid idiot he was, he should’ve left, knowing that he was eventually coming for a visit. So why didn’t he? _

_He had to bite back that small part of himself that knew why, that missed home, that missed his father. Ben knew the real reason why he hadn’t left, it was the weak part of himself that craved his father’s attention. The foolish part that dared hope he would save him, rescue him and take him home. Take him away from **Snoke**._

_ No, he squashed those feelings the moment they tried to surface and take ahold of his thoughts. Han Solo was weak and foolish and cowardly. Going back home with him now was not an option, not if he wanted to be stronger._

_Ben finally landed on the marina and started striding down a long narrow dock surrounded by rocks and water on either side. The wooden dock was old and rugged with no railings which always frightened him but he didn’t want to stop, he didn’t want to face his father._

_ As he was striding down the old dock, he noted the tide was low which wasn’t normal. The water wasn’t rising like he thought it would today, he hoped it didn’t affect the sea sailing competition. He also noted the rusted pieces of jagged metal and rubbish half buried under water that littered the rocks wondering if that would affect it too. A sharp narrow piece of jagged metal sticking up from the buried rocks caught his attention as he continued down the walkway. It was half buried in water and Ben thought for a split second about complaining about the metal rubbish that was littering the marina. _

_Ben was lost on his thoughts about the stupid tournament and rubbish that he didn’t realize his father had been following him. _

_“BEN!” His father’s voice halted him on the spot and echoed off the water’s rocks, loud and clear. He cursed under his breath that he had found him. He had nowhere else to run, unless he walked right off the end of the dock and into the ocean. Which at this point was a better option then facing Han Solo. _

_He heard the wooden boards creaking as his father approached him slowly from behind, like a hunter trying not to scare his prey away. A small part of his brain wished that the boards would give out under his feet and he could avoid a confrontation with the man. He kept his back to him, refusing to acknowledge that he was trapped with nowhere to go._

_ Ben started to panic on the narrow walkway but regained control of his raging emotions, he didn’t need his father and it was time he settled that notion once and for all. Snoke had told him that he would need to do it if he wanted to become stronger, and now was the moment. _

_He turned proudly to face his father on the narrow dock and gave him a cold stare. “Han Solo, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” His voice broke at the end, like he was lying to himself, forcing himself to sound strong when he wasn’t. His voice was veiled with a hint of strained agony. _

_Han approached him slowly, a strong breeze starting to form and flow between them like the current storm of emotions that both were feeling. He could see the mask his son was wearing, the one where he acted like everything was alright, like he was strong and didn’t need anyone or anything. It was a mask of hatred, arrogance, darkness and fear mixed in one. He knew he wouldn’t get through to his son, unless he took it off. _

_“Stop hiding. Take off that mask, you don’t need it.” _

_“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” His emotionless voice cut through him, the arrogance still lining it. _

_“The face of my Son.” Han stopped a few feet in front of him, hoping not to scare him away even as he saw him flinch at the word “son”. _

_Ben was rendered in two at the word “son” and tried to regain his resolve. He went on the offense immediately. “Your son is gone, he was weak and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him!” _

_“That’s what he’s been teaching you isn’t it. That’s what Snoke wants you to believe. But it’s not true, my Son is alive! He’s still in there.”_

_“No, General Snoke is wise, wiser, stronger and better than you’ll ever be!”_

_“Snoke is using you Ben! When he gets what he wants he’ll crush you.” He came closer to his son, attempting to plead with him, “You know it’s true. Snoke is an evil man Ben, he’s under serious investigation for criminal activity. I’m surprised he hasn’t been removed from the academy yet! He’s not who he says he is! He’s targeting you on purpose trying to destroy your life just like the man before him destroyed your grandfather’s life. They’re all connected Ben, to the same dark criminal world!”_

_Ben’s eyes started to glisten, hearing his father’s words cut through him, the truth defying his resolve to push back. He knew his father was right but would never admit it to him. _

_He knew Snoke was a criminal, had suspected it for a while now, even as he remained hidden as a general in the academy. Ben found himself trapped. Snoke offered him the opportunity to be something great just like his grandfather had been, being a part of their criminal world. Snoke promised him greatness, regardless of what avenue it came through._

_Ben was falling too deep, his life was already decided for him. He responded with the only thing he knew was left in him. “It’s too late.” _

_“No it’s not, leave here with me, come home…. We miss you.” Han could see now more clearly than ever that he had failed his son and his family. He had failed him as a father and all those times that he had left him made the wounds unbearable in his chest. If he had failed him as a father then, he wouldn’t fail him now, not anymore. He would put an end to the cycle._

_Ben blinked the water out of his eyes, attempting to regain control of the situation and defy his father but found he couldn’t. He froze, unable to speak anything but the truth. “I’m being torn apart. I wana be free of this pain.” Ben shuddered as his lips trembled, this was the most vulnerable he had ever been with his father, the most transparent about the truth. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. …Will you help me.” He didn’t attempt to hide the desperation in his voice or the agony that was dancing across his face. The boy was in torment. _

_“Yes, anything.” Han stepped closer, the need to hold and save his son crawling at his skin. _

_Ben finally let go of his mask, on the verge of crumbling before his father. _

_He knew he had to make a choice, either go home with his father and leave Snoke or stay, with a chance of becoming something greater. The war within was enough to render him in two, he felt lost, like a lost child searching. The weaker part of himself craved his father’s offer but the stronger part, the **better** part of himself knew better. _

_If he went home now, nothing would change. His parents would still look at him like he was some sort of monster and fear him. His father would go back to smuggling, his mother in politics and their marriage would still be the same, filled with regret and lack of attention, just like his childhood had been. His adopted brother would still be the golden child and he would be lonely. Lonely and isolated and abandoned just like before. _

_Han finally stood right before Ben, examining the shifting emotions playing on his face. He knew his son was contemplating his decision and was determined to do everything in his power to persuade him to come home. “Ben come home, please, we need you. You need your family again.”_

_“Need me…. Need me-.” Ben repeated the words to himself over and over again like a mantra. He couldn’t believe his father had said them, they contradicted to the fact that his parents had sent him away. Parents who needed their children didn’t cast them off to the side and abandon them. _

_Han Solo’s words were a lie, his family didn’t need him. His parents didn’t need him, Poe didn’t need him and neither had his uncle Luke. The very reason why he found himself in this place was because of that man, so much for family. Luke didn’t give two sarlaccs about him. That man was an arrogant fool, too self-righteous to realize how his reason for running to Snoke was because of him. No, his family didn’t need him and he didn’t need them. _

_“No,” Ben stepped back away from his father. “You don’t need me and I don’t need you! You’re a bunch of liars and hypocrites, only here because you feel guilty. I refuse to listen to you or anyone else who tries to persuade me otherwise!” _

_He went into self-defense mode and recalled every reason Snoke had given him for eliminating his family from his life. His father had abandoned him and his mother was too busy with her political career. _

_All those lonely dinners with her absent, all those false promises of taking him out to play and buy ice cream, all those promises of Han vowing to take his son out to the park to play with his new bike but never did, all those promises that they would spend more time with him later but never did came rushing to the forefront of his mind and played on a loop. _

_The disappointment of sitting in his room alone with no one to come to him. The loud arguments his parents would have that would result in his father leaving. The “don’t do this Ben or don’t do that’s” had been the worse. His angry outbursts always resulted with his parents arguing about what they should do to stop them. The replacement of him when Poe arrived was enough to cement the hurt and dejection. The way his mother had doted on him, cherished him and spoiled him had made Ben’s skin crawl. They didn’t have time for their real son, they didn’t need him. _

_If he went back with his father now, he would only be letting his family win in the end. They wouldn’t see their errors or mistakes, they would never understand the true pain he felt. They would go back to their selfish ways and act like sending him away was a good deed, a lesson well learned for him. Especially Luke, he would feed off of that and Ben knew it. _

_The moment that haunted Ben the most was that fateful night when he crawled up silently behind the door to his parent’s bedroom and heard them talking about him like he was some sort of monster. It was the birth of his complex, the beginning of his self-doubt, the idea that something was wrong with him. He was a monster who was disrupting their lives, becoming a nuisance. They treated him like a monster, and now it was time he started truly acting like one. _

_“Go away!”_

_“Ben, please listen! I know we failed you- I failed you. But if you come home now, we can make things better we can,” he placed his hands on either side of his son’s face in one final attempt to reason with him. “We can figure this out!”_

_“No!” Ben shook his head furiously, tears already gathering in his eyes, his decision was already made. His father’s hands were still around his head, trying to cradle him._

_“Ben please!”_

_He almost gave into his father’s voice, as his thoughts drifted back to the few sweet memories he had as a little boy. They had all taken place in the hangar, where his father would put him on his shoulders and pretend to fly with him. He was four the first time his father had taken him up for a plane ride, much to his mother’s dismay and it was his favorite memory with him. He thought about the way his mother would comb through his wild hair and sing to him when he was scared. She always knew how to bring him peace when he needed it, her loving arms always felt like a safeguard. For a split second he almost gave in, but Snoke’s cruel reality check came to mind to suffocate all the good memories with bad ones. _

_  
“No- I said no!” In his anger he pushed his father back roughly, so hard that he stumbled back to the edge of the wooden dock. He regained his footing and tried to reach for Ben again when he shoved him back even harder this time. He shoved him so hard that Han’s foot gave out and he slipped right off the edge of the narrow dock. _

_His father disappeared right before his very eyes in an instant. One second he was standing on the dock and the next second he wasn’t. He had fallen over the edge because of him. He heard the moment his father hit the water and a strangled cry was cut short. _

_ “Good,” Ben thought to himself bitterly, maybe the water below would wash him away. The dock wasn’t high from the water, it was probably only raised about 10 feet with the tide low, it wasn’t that bad. He deserved to struggle in the cold water and think about what he and everyone else in his family had done. How they had pushed him to this point and turned him towards becoming the dark criminal that his grandfather had turned into. _

_Ben waited to hear the splashing sounds of his father moving around beneath him. But nothing happened, the air was eerily quiet, no movement of water, no waves, nothing. _

_He turned once more to the spot where he had shoved his father away from him and made his fall over the edge. Finally, he heard it, a small agonized moan escaped from beneath the dock, barely audible but present. Ben cautiously walked over to the edge to look, afraid of what was waiting for him beneath. He looked down where his father had fallen. _

_When his eyes finally landed on Han Solo, he felt his very soul leave, leave him behind like an empty carcass. He hadn’t landed completely in the water, like he thought he would. Only his legs were submerged, but the rest of his body was hanging above the water, hanging upright by a narrowed piece of jagged metal that had pierced him directly through the chest and stuck out on the other side._

_The fall had sent him directly onto a piece of metal that stabbed him through, leaving him bleeding out and broken. It was almost as if the ocean had produced a sword and stabbed him through the chest with it. _

_This was his fault, he had pushed his father to his death. _

_“DAD!!!” Ben cried out in agony, leaping off the edge of the dock without hesitation. He hadn’t called him ‘dad’ since he was a child, the word sounded foreign in his ears, but none the less, Ben knew that’s what he really was to him deep down beneath the anger and hurt. _

_ He stumbled when he landed on the water, realizing that it was more rock than water. His feet stung and he keeled over in pain, not realizing how the sharp rocks had severely damaged his knees from his jump off the edge. The pain there was nothing to the one he felt rising in his chest._

_He could care less about his pain, he sloshed his damaged legs over to his father, trying to reach him in a desperate attempt to save him. But he knew it was pointless. He saw the life draining from his eyes, as blood poured out of the man’s chest. His eyes were almost on the verge of going slack. The gruesome scene made Ben want to vomit and he felt blood in his mouth from biting his own tongue._

_“Dad!” Ben sobbed as he reached his father, the sea of tears already blurring his vision. He placed his hands on his dad’s shoulders and cried into his neck. He sobbed and cried out, a scream threatening to escape him. This isn’t what he wanted, this wasn’t supposed to happen!_

_“B-Ben.” His father placed a hand on his son’s cheek lingering there in his final moments. His voice a choked dying whisper barely audible. Ben looked up at him into his eyes like a lost child, like those moments where he would have nightmares in the middle of the night and his father would pull him into bed with him, hoping to erase the bad dreams and rescue him. He would always look up at his father hopeless in those moments, and he did that now. _

_Ben saw the love in his father’s eyes before they were replaced with darkness. His father was unable to speak but his eyes never failed from conveying what he wanted to say. Seconds later his hand fell from his son’s face and splashed in the water, his eyes going slack, his heart permanently stopped. The current started to rise and the waves were pushing their way in now. _

_“Dad?” Ben choked out, trying to clear his throat, blinking wildly at his father’s lifeless form. “Dad? Dad? Dad!!!” He shook his father furiously, but he wouldn’t move. “No! Noooo!!!” He roared, roared so loud that his own voice hurt his ears. “Help! Someone help! Please!” He cried out as he sobbed into his father’s neck again. “Please…help”. He felt like a little boy again trapped in a nightmare except this time his father wasn’t going to rescue him. _

_A loud agonizing scream escaped Ben, so loud that he heard footsteps approaching. _

_From that second on he knew his life would never be the same. No matter what he did or what he said, he would always be the son who killed his own father. _

_***_

Rey was now facing Ben Solo as he finished telling her his story. He was bracing the Falcon’s interior like his life was depending on it, clutching his father’s dice, shaking violently with his head down, too ashamed to face her. He told her everything, leaving out the deeper truths about Snoke and his uncle, only giving her surface details. But everything that happened between him and Han that day was regurgitated to her.

“I-I didn’t want to kill him- I didn’t mean to…I- If I would’ve just listened to him, if I just would’ve agreed to come home!” Ben’s knees finally collapsed and he hit the floor. Tears streamed down his face as he pounded violently on the Falcon’s ramp, the dice flying away from his hands. “I didn’t want to kill him!” He roared as a deep sob escaped him, burring his face in his hands.

“No one believed me, not even my own mother believed me, she couldn’t even look me in the eyes for weeks. Everyone thought I killed him purposely, that I was a monster! … The only one who believed me was Poe.” He laughed bitterly to himself, recalling how the one person he thought for sure would accuse him ended up being his only ally.

As Rey watched him with tears streaming down her face, it all began to click, all the pieces. The reason why Poe was always defending him, always taking his side, it was because no one else had. He was the only one who had believed Ben, with the world against him it was his brother who had remained at his side.

“There were apparently witnesses, they accused me immediately and I let them. I deserved to be accused, I deserved to be called a _monster, _I deserve to suffer for killing my own father,” he choked out another sob before completely keeling over in pain. Strangled cries began to erupt from him and he could care less if she was watching him, watching the monster suffer.

Rey placed a hand over her mouth to stifle the cries that were threatening to escape her. She had to look away from him, away from the broken boy who was probably just as broken as her. Her small cries leaked through as she eyed the planes scattered around her, attempting to look anywhere but at him. She shook violently and took deep breaths in attempt to regain her composure.

Rey knew one thing for sure after hearing his explanation, she had murdered this boy, crucified him, fed him to the wolves. The tables being turned on her made her feel sick to the stomach. How arrogant she had been, how foolish, as she heard his strangled sobs her heart rendered in two. She was causing him this pain, she had forced him to relive the nightmare that haunts him every day.

She was a _monster, _her nightmare felt like it was coming to life before her very eyes. She didn’t know what to do, how to fix it, how to make the pain go away, how to make it better. The worst part she discovered was that he had been abused by this man named Snoke. She had accused an abuse victim which was the last thing she vowed not to do on earth, given her circumstances. The revelation made her sick, made her question her own sanity.

She also learned that he was wearing a mask of indifference about his father’s death most likely to protect himself, to hide the hurt and pain. And it was she who had forced him to take it off. Beneath it all was the boy in front of her, broken, ashamed, lost and hurt. 

She finally turned towards Ben, watching him cry out in agony and could take it no longer. She strode over to him, practically limping from the emotional pain she felt and kneeled behind him. She didn’t know what to do as she watched his back shudder from the cries escaping him.

Slowly yet gently she wrapped her much smaller arms around his torso from behind and buried her face in his shoulder blade. She began to cry with him, but had no idea what she was doing, she had never comforted someone before. Recently and usually others were trying to comfort her but not this time.

Ben instantly froze at the contact, unable to believe she was holding him, comforting him, but went back to sobbing a second later. He still felt ashamed for breaking down in front of her, completely losing it. Snoke would have laughed at him, mocked him for sure if he saw him now. But he could care less, the man was gone now for good and only left his scars behind.

Ben began to rock slowly with Rey still holding him from behind and she moved with him. The pain was unbearable almost enough to break him completely all over again, like reality checking in to remind him of his treacherous deed.

But, the warmth he felt radiating off of her as she held him was enough for him not to break completely. Her arms were warm, soothing, soft, like a balm to his aching soul.

He hated to admit how good it felt to be held by her, how those arms were saving his soul. A small part of his brain wanted to turn completely and pull her into his arms but he stopped himself. Regardless if that would make him feel better, she still thought of him as a monster.

Rey kept her arms wrapped around him still wanting to shelter him. She’d hurt him and couldn’t think of anything else to do but hold him in an attempt to make amends. His chest was stout and hard yet somehow soft, she felt him heaving, trying to gain control of himself before another wave of sobs rushed through him. 

They stayed like this for a while, Rey holding him and crying with him. Every sob that pushed its’ way out resulted in her pulling him in tighter. After a while her arms started to hurt from the exertion, but she wouldn’t let go. Somehow through all the pain she’d felt, holding him was comforting her too.

After some time, Ben’s deep sobs transitioned into gentle cries, then small whimpers and then sniffles. She felt his chest slowly moving back to a steady pace, trying to regain a normal rhythm. His breaths were more even now and he was easing himself out of the pain left bottled up in him. Maybe this is what he had needed, to let it all out, to stop trying to keep himself contained with his grief.

A good cry was never a sign of weakness to Rey, it was a way of letting pain flow out from you, not letting it stay inside and harbor. She’d learned that on the dark nights where she missed her parents the most.

Once she realized he was done crying and returning to normal she sniffed her nose, clearing her throat at the same time. She started moving her arms to pull away but felt his large warm hands stop her. They landed on her wrists with a steady grip, staying her retreat, prolonging the contact.

Rey started to become self-conscious, aware of his hold on her, she couldn’t move her arms away from him and his warm grasp was sending shivers up her arms. A small part of her brain admitted that she liked the feeling, but her arms were getting sore and in need of a position change.

“Please-,” his soft voice broke out. “Just a minute longer.” His voice was rough and hoarse still thick with salvia from his grieving.

She shuddered into his back and gave him what he wanted. She took a minute to just bask in his warmth, he was a human heater for sure, always running warm. His heat pressed against her head and cheek as she leaned on him. The room turned quiet, silent almost and as she was leaning on his back, she could hear his heart beating from behind. The sound was loud and thunderous, not as loud when she had heard it the first time, when she landed on top of him from tripping during their dance. But the sound still lulled her anyway, like a melody beating wildly.

Every time he would sniff his nose or clear his throat she could hear the little hiccups his heart would make from the movement. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound, even if her arms were getting sore, his heartbeat, knowing that he was alive was enough to bring her peace, peace for what she’d done to him.

Rey’s cheeks flushed when she felt him starting to rub circles on her writs with his thumb. The gesture felt intimate and she felt…cherished, when had she ever felt cherished in her life? She shuddered into his back again, she didn’t deserve to be cherished by him, not after what she had done to him. She treated him like a monster and yet here he was rubbing gentle circles on her wrists like she was a delicate cherished treasure. Her guilt ate at her and she forcefully extricated herself from him. She felt the hurt radiate from him as she pulled back.

Rey sighed, how much more would she hurt him today. She needed to focus on fixing the hurt and that’s what she did. “Ben.” Her voice rang loudly in the hangar even though it was gentle, every sound was always amplified in a place like this when there was silence.

“I-”

“Don’t, don’t apologize.” His somber voice overpowered hers. “I’m the monster here.”

“You’re not a monster!” She moved to sit right across from him and flinched when she saw how red and swollen his face was. She shook her head and stared down at the floor between them. Ben was sitting on his legs with one hand in his lap and the other dangling on his side. The sadness in his eyes felt like another dagger in the back. Her eyes found his dangling hand and she reached for it, gabbing it and pulling it towards her. She wrapped both of her hands around his hand and held it between them.

“You’re not a monster Ben,” her voice shook. “I should have never, I was a fool, I should have never said the things I did!” More tears streaked down her face. “I was just hurt and naïve and I never meant to hurt you. Please Ben forgive me!”

He couldn’t look at her, even though his heart started beating rapidly at the way she held his hand. He was trying to control his cheeks from blushing, he wanted to feel her hand in his forever, if she would let him. But felt guilty for how hard she was being on herself.

“You don’t need to apologize Rey, there’s nothing to forgive,” his deep voice sent shivers up her arms again.

“Don’t say that, yes I do! I called you terrible things.”

“Just as everyone else has. I’m used to it.”

“Well you shouldn’t be used to it!”

“I deserve it.” He was pretty much being a masochist at this point and he knew it. Talking about the truth was always painful and he really did deserve to be treated like a monster but the more worked up Rey got about him admitting it the longer should would hold his hand and try to contradict him. Only a fool like him would take the pain just to keep her hand in his.

“No, you don’t,” she finally huffed out in anger. “You’re not a monster, you’re- you’re a poet and a dancer and a good teacher and I’m assuming a pilot.” She laughed bitterly to herself, finally realizing the many things that Ben Solo was besides being attributed to a monster.

They stayed silent for a moment, Rey’s hands still holding his hand between them. Ben wanted more than anything for time to stand still and stay in this moment forever, with her hand in his. But he knew that could never be.

“I’m sorry Rey.” His voice boomed after a minute of silence. “I should have never said to you any of the things I said previously including you not having any parents. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, including letting my anger get the best of me.” He moved to pull his hand away from her’s, releasing her from her guilt, but she pulled back against him, not letting him remove his hand from her grasp.

Ben silently gasped, surprised to see that she still wanted his hand in hers. He was starting to feel guilty now, he didn’t want to beat himself up anymore so that she would hold his hand longer but apparently she wanted it anyway.

Rey wanted to contradict him, tell him that she did have parents and that they were out there somewhere, they just hadn’t returned yet. She didn’t want to tell him that she was waiting for her parents, that was too personal, too deep to reveal to him. So she stayed quiet and basked in the warmth radiating from his hand.

“I’ll accept your apology only if you accept mine.” She brought Ben’s hand closer to her and gave him a defiant stare.

A small look of amusement crossed his eyes and he shook his head in disbelief at the girl in front of him. “Stubborn, stubborn as always.”

“So does this mean you’ll accept it?”

His tired eyes flickered from their hands to her face as he pressed his lips into a thin line. “I suppose, even if you didn’t kill your own parent.”

She sighed defeatedly and closed her eyes. “Perhaps we should stop trying to hurt each other Ben. It appears we have been at crossed paths. I misjudged you more than anything. I… I want that to stop.”

“It will, it has for me already anyway.”

She stared at him confused at his statement, when had he stopped misjudging her, she wondered.

“I’ve made such a mess with everyone, you, Poe, Finn, I don’t even know where to start.”

“I’ll handle Poe,” he barked out, his fingers wrapping possessively around hers. “Don’t worry about him. …I made my own mess with everyone as well.”

Rey wondered what could have happened at the mayor’s residence and assumed it couldn’t have been good. She recalled the conversation that she heard between Chewie and his wife. Perhaps Ben did have to make amends with everyone else as well, perhaps they had both been fools.

She nodded at him regarding Poe, still feeling guilty for how she argued with him too. She had been a terrible friend.

“Rey,” Ben’s voice took on a dark edge. “You must never tell anyone what I told you. Especially about… Snoke.”

Rey knew there must have been more to that wretched man than he was leading on, but she didn’t want to push him to talk about it. They could talk about his abuser some other time, when she could properly distribute her hatred for the crooked general. But as for the truth about Han, she needed to tell Finn.

“What about Finn, he still thinks you killed him on purpose.”

“Let him think what he wants,” the sadness to his voice made her wince.

“Ben, he needs to know the truth. I won’t tell him all the details just that you didn’t do it on purpose.” She pleaded with him, hoping he would understand how important it was to reveal the real truth to Finn, as hard as it would be.

He sighed, “I guess, it’s not like it would change things between us anyway.”

Rey knew there was more story there but decided to leave that lid on the box for now. They had had enough for one day and she didn’t feel like discussing what happened between Finn and him. She was trying to ease the pain not bring up more memories that were probably displeasing to him.

“Ben- promise me that, you won’t let anyone call you a monster anymore including yourself.” It was her last request from him, a final plea, one she wasn’t sure he would hear.

“But I am.”

“No you’re not!”

“I killed my own father Rey, that should qualify me as a monster!” The agony reached into his voice again and she thought for sure the pain would come back full force on both of them.

She pulled his hand up to her face and rest her cheek on it. She held it there, closing her eyes and near close to pressing her lips to his palm. She kept her eyes shut, too ashamed at the proximity of his palm to her lips, she hadn’t done that on purpose it just landed that way.

Ben froze, unaware of his heart beating rapidly, her lips near inches from his palm. He stared at her with his mouth open, his breaths coming in and out more faster than they had been a minute ago.

Rey felt her cheeks bloom and opened her eyes to look at him. When had she ever been this physical with another human being. She had most certainly never held someone from behind before and most certainly never held someone’s hand for as long as she was holding Ben’s. What was wrong with her? Why was she barely feeling self-conscious now, perhaps it was the grief and need to comfort him that had blindsided her.

**It’s because you want to. **Rey shivered and push that thought immediately to the back of her head, locking it away, now was not the time for silly or ludicrous thoughts. Most of her reason for touching him was to bring him comfort. But that small other part of her reason was trying to overcome her unconscious self that wanted to touch him.

When her eyes met Ben’s they were immediately glued on one another. Despite his haggard appearance, messy hair and red eyes, she couldn’t look away from him.

His eyes were more handsome then she had ever seen them, the redness around them only amplified the golden color they were taking on now, a contrast from earlier. His lips were full and swollen, taking on a pinkish tint. He gazed into her like she was the moon and she felt her heart skip a beat.

She was still holding his hand to her cheek as she blushed furiously, she couldn’t take her eyes from his lips. When had they taken on the shape of a cupid’s bow? She looked back to his eyes only to have him staring at her lips. It’s like he was examining each breath that escaped there, counting them. His eyes instantly shot back to hers and he moved in closer to her.

Her hand tightened around his and she was a breath away from turning her lips and placing a kiss to his palm. Things were going too fast, one second ago she wanted to kill him and now her lips were drawn to his palm, to his skin.

He leaned towards her so close their heads were inches from touching. He leaned in further but pulled back, Rey mimicking his movements, almost like they were magnets dancing around each other. The moment hung, both of them breathing heavily, unaware of what was happening around them.

Finally, he sighed and shut his eyes. Hers were on the verging of shimmering, what was going on with her. Rey couldn’t pull it together, her emotions were all over the place. _Why did she want him to lean in_? _What was happening to her?_

Ben put his head down which came dangerously close to leaning on hers, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop seeing myself as a monster, but- if you do, then I guess that’s ok with me. Thank you Rey… for everything.” A small desperate sob escaped him, like he was grateful that she actually didn’t think he was a full-blown monster anymore. She felt his breath on her face, a shiver ran down her spine.

Rey’s lips quivered, and she swallowed loudly. “Will I be there to see the day when you do?”

A small smile reached his lips, hinted with pity and self-doubt. It was that same kind of smirk she had seen on him before, the Solo smirk that she had first seen on his father. “Maybe, only if you want to be.”

She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and shook her head at the boy before her. Rey closed her eyes and cradled Ben’s hand to her cheek again and … prayed. She prayed that one day maybe he would see the light, that maybe he could truly forgive himself and prayed most of all that she would be there to see it. Why she was so desperate to see it, she had no clue. She didn’t even know who she was praying to, but she figured if there was a God out there somewhere he would hear her prayer. Her prayer for the boy whose hand she held pressed against her cheek.

Her prayer for the boy who accidently killed his father.

***

Rey was exhausted when she finally came home that evening, the day’s events were enough to tire her for a whole week. Ben had walked her home as usual even though she objected, feeling guilty for everything that happened. He was still a gentlemen after everything and refused to let her come back alone. The walk had been mostly quiet, but easy, no tension, no pain, no anger just… peace, understanding and acknowledgement. She even found herself leaning on him again for warmth as the cold wind kicked in. He had of course offered her his arm which she gladly clung to, to steal the heat from him.

He walked her to her street before reluctantly letting her go, not wanting to lose the contact between them. She gave him one last soft smile before reaching for his hand and cradling it for a split second before dropping it abruptly and fleeing. What was wrong with her, she kept wanting to touch him, maybe to ensure that he was ok, at least that’s what she told herself.

She was about to collapse on her bed when she noted the book scattered face down on the ground by the foot of the bed. The pages were bent oddly and the spine to novel was propped up. She sighed deeply to herself as she recalled how she had flung _Pride and Prejudice_ at the wall a few days ago in her anger that she couldn’t burn it. She had left it there on the floor these past few days to remind herself that she was punishing the poor gift. The book was no longer a bad omen, but just that a book, one that she realized meant much to her, which is why she was glad she hadn’t burned it in her anger.

She picked it up curiously, careful not to let the pages close, to see where the book had landed on the floor. As she flipped it over holding the very page with her index finger, she recognized immediately the chapter it had landed on.

A shiver ran up her back and almost made her wince. Out of all the pages the book could have landed on, it landed on this one.

She read it aloud in her head: _“Lizzy,” he said, “what are doing? Are you out of your senses, to be accepting this man? Have you not always hated him?” How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate! … “We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” _

_“I do, I do like him,” she replied, with tears in her eyes, “I love him. Indeed he has no improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do not know what he really is like; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him in such terms.”_

Rey shuddered as she held the book, rereading the paragraph before her, with tears starting to gather in her eyes. This was the chapter that always made something twist inside of her. The part where Elizabeth had openly admitted that she was wrong about Mr. Darcy and how she wished she hadn’t thought so ill of him always made her think about the people she’d thought so ill of before getting to know them.

It made her think of Ben, completely misjudging and labeling him before realizing what he was really like, what was beneath the mask. Had Elizabeth been more sensible, perhaps she could of seen beneath Mr. Darcy’s mask of pride as well as flawed as he was.

How ironic that the book had landed on that chapter and matched so easily with how she felt now about misjudging Ben Solo. _Of course_ she wasn’t in love with him like the context of the chapter, but she still felt regret for not understanding what he was really like. It almost seemed like fate that the book had landed there, waiting for her to pick it up after discovering the truth. Life always worked out in mysterious ways. She wondered if fate was laughing at her now, making her realize how karma works. She would never be throwing another book at wall, that much was for sure. You never knew where it would land open and relate to reality. 

Rey crawled into bed, exhausted, cradling the novel to her chest, as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

Was she truly an Elizabeth Bennet, the thought scared her, as she realized her actions were very similar to the fictitious woman.

She fell asleep with the book cradled in her arms, with no nightmares to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I'm sorry for all the angst and sadness but more fluff will follow. Unfortunately this isn't the end for the pain train. There's still lots more to be uncovered with Snoke and Luke although it will not be the focus of the story. As for the last part, I really did quote Pride and Prejudice, not sure if there's a thing against that? Oh well.
> 
> One last thing, the inspiration for Rey hugging Ben from behind was inspired by one of my favorite games of all time. YouTube "Zack Cries Crisis Core," you'll see what I mean. Sorry I'm a huge nerd obviously :D  
I'll probably be taking a small break after this, but please comment and leave feedback, I love to read comments! Take care!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns to drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, please enjoy this chapter, I poured blood, sweat and tears into this. Thanks for reading!

SPRING 1941

The last few weeks had been uneventful in Rey’s life, given the eventful previous week prior. Things were back to normal with school, friends, work and most of all with Ben Solo. The only abnormality was the continuous dreadful bombings in England she read in the paper which started keeping her up at night again.

The road to patching things up had been a bit difficult and rocky, like scavenging through an unknown terrain. Something had changed between Ben and Rey since that day in the hangar, something that either drew them closer or further apart, she wasn’t sure how to label it or what exactly was happening. The revelation of truth always seemed to do things to people, make them think differently or act differently. She noticed this in the little moments she shared with him.

One minute he could be open and read like a book and the next minute closed, shut tight, he was like a revolving door. One second he would be telling her about his favorite poets as they worked together and the next a look of guilt and shame would cross his features. She knew he still felt embarrassed about completely losing it in front of her, in front of the girl who came waltzing into his life less than a year ago and she did her best to reassure him that it was ok. Ok to be human and feel things that were uncontrollable. This constant change of opening and closing is what made Rey wonder if the change was pulling them together or pulling them apart. Regardless she felt something shifting between them and couldn’t label it anything more than a growing somewhat rough friendship.

It wasn’t like a friendship with Finn or Rose or even Poe. Her friendship with Ben felt fragile yet solid at the same time, the irony always gave her headaches. She didn’t even know why her friendship with him felt distinguished from her other friends and found it peculiar.

For example, when she had revealed the real truth about Han’s death to Finn, how it was accidental, he had a hard time believing it. He still couldn’t believe that a tragedy like that could happen accidentally the way it did. He was judgmental and condescending about the revelation but believed Rey in the end with some convincing. It had hurt to see how Finn didn’t want to believe her, given how she had seen Ben completely break in front of her. Maybe she was more understanding because she had witnessed his pain firsthand and understood him.

This is what she was feeling that distinguished her relationship with Ben from everyone else. No one else had seen the way that Ben had opened up to her, completely broke in front of her and let it all out without shame, pride thrown to the wind. His transparency with her made her realize how misjudging she could be, how misjudging others could be, how cruel. And because Finn and Rose and maybe even Poe didn’t see how transparent he was with her that day, they would forever midjudge the broken boy who was damaged. Not beyond repair and she knew this.

Maybe her transparency with Ben was what made their relationship distinguished.

A similar transparency had been shared with Finn, when he opened up to her about his own dark past, yet it still felt different from Ben. Rey constantly wondered what exactly it was that made it distinguished but had no answer. Her thoughts and feelings about him were constantly evolving.

She had not been privy previously to the small moments that she had shared with Ben that made her feel strange, warm things. She had always pushed those silly thoughts and locked them away in the back of her head, where they belonged. They consisted of a range of things she felt from him, like the warm feeling in her belly whenever he would look at her intensely, or how safe she felt feeling the heat from his arms around her or how touching him made her heart skip beats.

The biggest thought recently was the constant need to touch and feel him. Sometimes she would lean towards him when walking with him without even thinking or shove him on the shoulder or laugh with him while tapping his arm. She even found herself leaning closer to him when they would be working under the Falcon together. He was like a magnet that her body was drawn to, always trying to connect.

And then of course there were those thoughts of when he had leaned towards her and brought their faces close. She recalled the times he had done this, the day he had confessed the truth and the moments where they had danced on the Falcon. Those feeling scared her the most, the thought of leaning in towards him without even knowing why made the hairs on her neck stand up. Why had she wanted him to lean in, what would that have accomplished?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, she was being silly, he… he just wanted to comfort her that’s all. There was nothing else to it, no ludicrous notions, no ridiculous assumptions or thoughts that would change things. She left it at that, her actions, feelings and emotions were just in the service to comfort and show kindness to a friend. She told this to herself everyday in order to live with these strange foreign feelings.

As for things with Poe, she had patched them up quickly. He had accepted her apology for her behavior and even apologized for his own towards her. He didn’t hold her lack of the truth against her and assured her that he was only lashing out because of the distress on his family that had resulted from the ordeal.

Rey had again wondered what happened those two days after she had confronted Ben the first time and he was absent from school. He had mentioned that he had to fix things with his family too and she wondered what damage she had indirectly forced him to mend. As far as she knew, things were ok now, even Poe had done his best to reassure her. However, she still felt guilty for hurting anyone connected to it especially Ben.

Things had changed between her and Poe too. As of late, he was no longer actively pursuing her affection like he previously was. His flirtatious ministrations and charming whims had toned down immensely with her. It was a stark contrast to how he had been towards her previously, the change was obvious even to the point where Rose had even mentioned something along the lines of him being over her. The change happened immediately after the confrontation/confession with Ben in the hangar. It was almost like a light switch on/off.

Nevertheless, he was still his charming and flirtatious self. Still slipping here and there with her but not to the point where it had been. Either way she was grateful, the less she had to worry about the better.

Poe and Finn smoothed things out as well even though Finn still wasn’t ready to completely trust Ben Solo. Poe understood and assumed he had his reasons.

She knew there must have been something else between Finn and Ben that transpired at the academy, but neither were ready to talk about it. It must have been something personal, considering the fact that the truth about Han Solo’s death had been cleared.

Finn and/or Ben must still hold something against the other and it gave her a headache just thinking about it. In time she felt they could get along better, baby steps have been taken since Ben confessed the truth about his father. With a bit more time the tension between them could be erased or hopefully completely eradicated or so she hoped.

On top of everything being mended, Ben hadn’t brought up Snoke or Luke since that day in the hangar and Rey planned on not pushing it. When he was ready he would open up to her and if not she would respect his wishes.

There was however something else that wasn’t resolved.

The facts about the rocky relationship with his parents that she had learned during his confession still bothered her. He didn’t tell her much, only stating that his parents sent him away and it had caused a further bridged gap between them. But he didn’t tell her much else. She wondered what his relationship was like with his mother now, given how he stated that she didn’t believe him about accidently killing his father at first. She must have had a change of heart, considering she did everything in her power, went to great lengths to erase the event and protect her son.

Rey wondered darkly if it was for political reasons for appearances or if she genuinely loved her son. She figured it must have been the latter. However, Hux had made it clear that she couldn’t be mayor with such a scandal behind her name. She hoped with everything within her that Hux was a stupid fool who only lived off of other’s misfortunes and was not to be taken seriously. Afterall, he had succeed in trying to convince her that Ben was a stone cold killer, she couldn’t trust the ginger weasel any longer.

***

It was close to noon on a Saturday morning when Rey and Ben were finishing up in the hangar. They had started to work on the Falcon again and came routinely on the weekends to fix it together.

They worked together naturally in sync without even having to communicate much. It’s like their brains were wired the same way, and they knew enough about mechanics to complement the other. It was just like it had been before much to Rey’s liking. 

She was worried at first that things would be a bit awkward after the fight they had in the hangar that had turned into a place of enlightenment. And it was, both her and Ben still had a sense of guilt with the other and it was amplified in the hangar, whenever they would lay eyes on the battered and smashed in plane that had become victim to his anger/pain. It was a reminder of the pain they had caused each other and it was difficult at first to work together with that constant reminder.

Once she reassured him that they could clean up the plane later, dispose of it eventually, he became more relaxed and the awkward tension faded. A few weeks had passed since then and they both agreed it was time to eliminate the reminder.

So finally, today they had agreed to clean up the mess and cover the damaged plane. Ben was reluctant at first, claiming that the destroyed airplane was a punishment to remind him of what he’d done but Rey had objected, claiming it was time.

Once the battered plane was covered up with drape and the scattered glass and metal disposed of, they both sat down to take a breather.

Now that the distraction was gone from clearing up the hangar, Rey’s mind wandered, wandered to the recent events that were occurring back home, in England. According to the paper this morning, the _Blitz_ was still occurring, the nighttime bombing raids ravaging Liverpool and everything surrounding it. The German bombers were relentless, thousands of lives were being claimed by these attacks everyday. And apparently children were being sent away and separated from their parents. A knowledgeable fact that made her wince when dwelling on it.

Rey felt herself slowly slipping into a dark place, where her mind wondered on a loop about the day she would return home with nothing to return to, about the day those children would return home with nothing to return to. Nothing but ash and death.

“Thanks, for helping me clear up the plane.” His voice was soft yet solemn.

She snapped out of her thoughts immediately and turned towards Ben. He was already watching her with a worried expression like he was trying to observe what was distressing her.

A second later he connected the dots as he eyed the newspaper stashed in her satchel. “You’re thinking about the bombings aren’t you,” he said it more as a statement then question.

She swallowed thickly, “What else am I supposed to think about. My home is probably completely gone. There’s… probably nothing to return to.”

“Rey-”

“No! It’s alright, forget I said anything.” She stood up immediately and reached for her bag, no longer wanting to talk about the war or anything related to it. She turned defensive and closed off within an instant, an attempt to ward off the dark thoughts that were already swirling in her head.

Ben sighed and stood up with her. He wasn’t going to push her to talk just as she had done the same for him regarding Snoke and his uncle. He would be patient and respect her wishes, even if he wanted to comfort her and be her ear to listen… her hand to hold.

After heading towards the exit for the hangar, she paused and stretched. Trying her best to change the subject and think about something else, something less dreadful. “Now what? I think were done with the hangar for today?”

Ben nodded and followed her as they both exited the abandoned building. He turned to lock the rusted metal doors and faced her. She was standing near the old pick-up truck that they had used to get here.

While they had both enjoyed walking to the hangar together, the journey had become tiresome, especially with the weather turning warmer. They had agreed it would be faster to drive to the old building then walk, and so Ben had decided they use his truck that used to belong to his father. It was gifted to him when he was younger, a surprise Han had planned for his 16th birthday. It had been his favorite vehicle that he wanted to pass down to his son when he learned to drive.

But he always felt too guilty to drive it.

It was a reminder of something his father had done for him that made him happy and made the remorse so much worse. Rey had gently tried to assure him that Han would have probably wanted him to use it and was able to convince him with some effort. It was a strange sight to see Ben in his own car, given the fact that she had never seen him in one, let alone drive one. Regardless she knew his family could probably afford any vehicle they wanted and it surprised her that he had chosen an old truck to be his mode of transportation.

It probably had something to do with the sentiment behind it. If Rey had a father who had gifted her a beautiful old truck such as this she would only want to drive it too. A sense of jealously crept its’ way in but she quickly snuffed it out.

She stood by the vintage hunk of metal and placed her hand over the shiny bumper, feeling the sleekness on her fingertips. In her eyes the old truck was a beauty, something to be cherished and well taken care of. She started to dance her fingers along the edge of the bumper without thinking, her eyes just following the trail of her fingers tip toeing mindlessly, her mind getting lost in her movements.

“You really like her don’t you?”

Rey jumped out of her gaze and snatched her hand away immediately. Her eyes found him and he was leaning on the old metal gate with an amused look in his eyes. Something about the way he was looking at her made butterflies rise in her stomach. His arms were crossed resting lightly on his chest and the shirt he wore accentuated the muscular structure of them. She wondered how big his arms were underneath, they had felt like iron bolts whenever he had held her. Like warm gentle iron bolts that pulled at some need within her to be felt.

She cleared her throat before her cheeks would start beating red at her thoughts, “She is definitely something to be admired.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line as he pushed himself up from the gate and moved towards her.

“Wana take her for a spin?” He held the keys up in the air before her as a small smile reached his lips. That same Solo smirk, the one that always made something want to jump inside of her.

She gasped at the keys dangling before her, her eyes suddenly looking around at anything but them. She fidgeted and eventually looked down, too embarrassed to admit something that even she herself _hated_ to admit. “It’s ok…I don’t think that would be a good idea.” She stepped back and started swishing her foot in the ground out of habit, stirring some dirt around, something she did when she was nervous.

He immediately caught on to her hesitation. “It’s ok Rey, I know you’re not gona wreck it. I’ll be right beside you anyway. I could easily take the wheel if need be. Just try it out.” He stretched his hand out again, this time like a peaceful offering, begging for her to give in to it.

“I can’t-” she started to retreat again. Her face flushing and eyes adverting his at all costs in attempt to make him understand. But apparently he didn’t.

“Why are you so afraid?”

“I’m not!”

He flinched, initially surprised by her sudden outburst. He had not expected it and Rey instantly regretted the harsh tone she had used with him.

She winced internally and knew she would have to tell him before he got hurt. “I appreciate the offer Ben, but I…I… I don’t know how to drive.” Her voice broke, laced with so much pity and insecurity she couldn’t look up at him.

If there was one thing in this world that she should know how to do, it should be to drive. Hell! She was practically a mechanic for crying out loud, a scavenger who had taken apart more motors and car engines then anyone could have ever imagined. She thrived in it, grew up in it and could practically count engine parts in her sleep. She knew every single part, every single valve, every inch of the crankshaft, all the compartments of the engine block by heart.

Yet she couldn’t drive to save her life. And she knew the real reason why.

It was Plutt.

Unkar Plutt had purposefully never allowed her to learn to drive. The reason for this was probably so that she could never escape him or attempt to run away. She remembered all the times she had begged him, practically thrown herself on the floor before him just for him to teach her. But he had denied her over and over again.

She was 14 the first time she had asked him and that had ended with a slap to the head and a nonsensical lecture about how females shouldn’t learn to drive. For three long years she had begged him to teach her but he never relented.

Once when she was 15 she had attempted to escape him by jumping into his truck and turning the keys in the ignition. He had come home in a drunken mess that day and thought she deserved a beating match to which she responded by running to his truck and fleeing. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it very far…she had driven maybe 10 feet before colliding with a tree she had no idea how to move away from before hitting. The impact had been intense yet no serious injury.

Luckily, she wasn’t hurt and neither was the truck severely damaged. But the poor tree was and so was her own inability to escape the horrors that awaited her.

Now she was 17 and still unable to drive a few feet. This fact always brought out the feelings of being an incompetent failure, good at nothing.

What was even worse was that Plutt had refused to let her even sit in the driver’s seat and only used her to fix up his truck or help whenever he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the engine. She hated not being able to drive, she felt insecure and worthless.

And now, here was Ben Solo dangling the keys to his father’s truck before her eyes and it was all too much. No one had ever offered her the opportunity to learn or even offered to let her drive. She had wanted to learn so badly but her own insecurities came to eat at her.

She backed away further from Ben, “I’m sorry but I can’t, it’s too much of a risk for the truck.” She gestured towards the magnificent vehicle and laid her hand on the steel frame of the back.

She stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes which she knew were watching her, as her memory of driving into a tree played on a loop. Her own embarrassment was tearing into her own ability to face him now.

He cleared his throat after what felt like the longest minute in her life, “So you need a teacher?”

Her eyes snapped to his and he was watching her reaction. The look in his eyes told her that he knew that she had wanted to learn but was never taught. He could also see the shame and pain buried within her.

“I guess so, I never learned. I was forbidden from learning.” She regretted her words instantly as she saw him flinch and an angry expression crossed his face. His fists automatically clenched and she saw his jaw lock into place as he breath heavily through his nose. She probably should have left that last part out, but it was the truth either way, the truth always slips its’ way out.

She wasn’t embarrassed anymore to tell him the truth or hide obvious things from him, they had started trusting each other a bit more sense the revelation about Han in the hangar. Nothing too extreme, they didn’t tell each other everything, they kept it all surface level.

There were too many things about her that she would never let him know and vice versa. Yet they still were open and understood one another. Which is why she knew he didn’t look down at her in pity, it was more like an understanding. But any mention of her past and anything to do with Plutt always put him on edge, she tried to avoid bringing him up as much as possible.

He took a deep breath to smooth his face out, “Get in, I’m teaching you how to drive.”

“What?! But Ben I can’t. What if I crash your father’s truck and ruin everything.”

“It’s not his truck anymore it’s mine. And if I decide the risk is worth it then it is.” He tried not to growl at her, but he was determined to get her in the truck and teach her how to drive. He didn’t want to see the pain or insecurity written all over her face anymore.

“But- what if I crash! I have before…I can’t destroy something that means so much to you.”

A long irritated sigh escaped him, “What would mean more to me is if you got in the driver’s seat and just stop being afraid.”

“I’m not afraid!” She shot back taking insult to his statement.

“Just get in the truck Rey…please.”

“No, I’m not wrecking it. I refuse.”

An annoyed huff escaped him and she could tell he was about to explode into an argument. She was sure this would be their first fight together since the confrontation in the hangar. Instead he channeled his frustration into reason and took deep breaths to concentrate.

She could tell he was contemplating what to say next in an attempt to convince her. He was putting on his logical convincing face. She knew that face well. It was the “I’m gona convince you one way or another if it’s the last thing I do on earth” face. She’d seen it before when they’d spent over an hour arguing underneath the Falcon about the greatest Shakespeare piece.

Ben had claimed that it was _Romeo and Juliet _while Rey had pleaded it was _Henry V. _She of course didn’t believe either were the greatest and just went along with it so she could hear his reasoning.

She liked to hear how he viewed literature, life and thematic elements from each piece. He was so passionate and serious with his explanations, that she secretly liked debating them with him. She couldn’t help but stare at him during these debates and smile to herself as they worked under the Falcon together. He would be staring up into the engine’s bowels, fixated on his work while debating with her, too busy to notice the amused looks on her face.

In a way she liked nudging him, pushing him into light debates because he was passionate and intense in everything especially with poetry. Recently he had convinced her to read books on poetry after lecturing for over an hour about the importance of it and how it shapes the human thought. He was good at trying to convince her and she felt herself slipping when she walked into the school library and picked up a book by Walt Whitman the following day.

It amused her to get him going on about something he liked and she wondered if he knew what she was doing. He probably did because she could have sworn that she saw him smirking back at her a few times when he thought she wasn’t looking. They always agreed to disagree and she wondered if that was just their thing. They would debate and he would attempt to convince her otherwise and he was good at it because he always gave logical reason. His logic was solid yet somehow unrealistic. His imagination could be very fairytale like and she wondered if all writers were like this, like him. Seeing things for what they could be and not for what they were.

And now she could see him standing before her with that same convincing face. He was going to get her in the driver’s seat if it was the last thing he would convince her to do. It had amused her then but right now she wasn’t so sure.

“Rey, take a look around, we’re in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing but open fields and one road that has no one on it. This hangar is isolated for a reason which means you can do whatever you want. There are no trees, no people and definitely no other cars around. It’s literally a straight line in the road. You have zero percent chance of hitting anything.”

And there he goes again with that same rational logic that pulls at her mind to believe him. But in actuality, it is irrational. She could have sworn that she saw one or two trees on the way here in the fields. And what if a car did decide to come down this abandoned old road or a person.

Rey thought about a bunch of what-ifs in order to defy his convincing reasoning. But in the end, she knew he was right, she was afraid. Afraid that she would ruin a gift from Han to his son.

Ben turned to unlock the door on the driver’s side and held it open for her, like a gentleman letting a lady go first.

She scowled at him and crossed her arms before reluctantly moving towards the invitation. His logical reasoning and convincing had won her over.

“Atta girl,” he smirked before helping her into the driver’s seat.

“Shut up Ben Solo,” she snapped at him as he gently closed the door and walked around to the passenger’s side. She couldn’t help but chuckle at his ridiculous antics as he strode to the passenger’s side with a glorious victorious look on his face. She wanted to smack it off of him but felt jitters creep up her back as she rested her hands on the steering wheel. An excitement rushed through her as she tried to calm her nerves and anxiety from spiking.

She heard Ben open the door and slam it shut. “Are you ready?” He asked softly.

She nodded her head and took a deep breath, ready for whatever was to come next.

“Ok so first relax, you’re too tense. Don’t grip the steering wheel too tight and relax your arms and body.” He scooted closer to her on the seat to demonstrate his relaxed posture.

She did as he instructed and attempted to calm her nerves again.

“Look down and find the clutch, the break and the gas.”

She looked down to locate the pedals. Her breathing increasing slowly as he placed her hand over the gear stick, explaining all the different gears to her.

“Now to turn on the car, press the clutch to the floor, put your foot on the break and turn the keys into the ignition.”

She took two deep breaths, nodding to herself that she could do this and did as he instructed.

“Put her in first gear. Give her a little bit of gas while laying off the clutch.” The truck started to move and the hairs on her arms stood up. “If you wana stop, put your foot on the break and press the clutch all the way down to the floor.”

She did as he instructed and the truck stopped.

“See not so bad, is it.” He gently moved back to give her more space. “Ok so now comes the real fun, shifting gears.”

To say that the last 2 and a half hours had been uneventful would be a complete lie. Rey discovered that she was the absolute worst driver that could have ever existed. She jerked too much constantly, didn’t exactly follow directions and forgot to press the clutch multiple times. Driving was like following a sequence of events, like following a sequence of flashing lights that she just couldn’t keep up with.

At first Ben was calm, gentle and understanding. But by the end of the first hour, he was starting to lose his patience.

Rey started to get frustrated and lashed out at her teacher.

This exploded into a passive aggressive argument while driving which resulted in Ben leaning over to steal the steering wheel. Of course she fought him off and insisted that she could learn the rest without him.

The next hour had consisted of both of them talking over the other while she continually jerked the poor old truck. Following this were a series of: “You’re not listening, I told you to press the clutch.” “Are you paying attention?” “Switch gears!” “Put your foot on the break!”.

Rey had finally snapped and they started arguing for real this time. She knew she was being stubborn, but he stoked that fire within her that couldn’t be put out. This was nothing compared to when he had taught her to dance. That had been easy, considering she had stepped on his feet multiple times, he never lost his temper with her. He was calm and gentle while teaching dance steps but driving was another story.

She knew she was partially to blame if not mostly. Maybe the reason he took this more seriously was because driving was more dangerous than dancing. And she had more than once almost driven them into a ditch and turned too sharply that the truck could have easily titled over. That had earned her Ben practically jumping over her to pull the steering wheel. She wondered if he regretted his decision to teach her, but something told her otherwise by the reassuring looks he would still give her through his frustration. She suddenly felt terrible again about the idea of damaging this poor truck.

However, by the last half hour, Rey found her rhythm. She was able to drive down the road without jerking much and was precise on switching gears when needed.

She laughed to herself, “I did it! I did it, Ben did you see that!?” She started to giggle like a surprised child and turned the truck to do it again.

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “Yes Rey I saw it.” A small smile crept up his lips as he shook his head in disbelief. “Ok, do it a few more times and I think you got it. Be careful with turning, not too sharp.” He was back to his gentle teaching voice again and a big relieved smile crossed her face as she repeated the drive over and over again.

Finally, after almost three hours of driving, she had finally learned. She was still rusty on the edges and a bit jerky but this was better than nothing on her account. She could get from point A to point B without hitting a tree which made her grateful.

She drove away from the plane hangar all the way to the edge of entering town where they wouldn’t be isolated anymore. She stopped right at the first neighborhood in sight and Ben instructed her on how to turn off the old truck.

“I did it, I can’t believe I did it.” She stated in disbelief over and over again like a mantra. She kept her hands on the wheel and faced Ben who was smiling congratulatorily at her.

“I knew you could, even if you did almost kill us multiple times,” his smile grew wider and she could see the toothy grin hidden there.

She chuckled and narrowed her eyes at him, “I did didn’t I.”

The previous tension from earlier had faded and both were relieved that the teaching session had turned out better than expected. The fear they both felt was replaced by relief.

“I saw my life flash before my eyes on that sharp turn though.” A sarcastic snicker escaped him.

She snorted, “But did you die?”

This time they both started busting up laughing. His a deep rumble and hers a light giggle filled with tiny snorts.

“Almost,” he choked out.

She was hiccupping from laughing so much that she placed her head on the steering wheel to hold herself up. Her hands still gripped the wheel as she rested her head there while the giggles kept escaping her throat.

“I thought we were going to kill each other,” he joked again more seriously while trying to clear his throat.

“Wouldn’t be the first time would it,” she snorted out as another set of giggles kicked in.

His grin grew bigger as he shook his head. Unable to believe that he had succeeded in teaching this girl to drive.

She kept her head on the steering wheel as more fits of laughter escaped her like a madwoman. She closed her eyes as her forehead rest on top of the wheel. The fits of laughter kept coming and coming until they slowly yet surely transitioned into hiccups and before she knew it, there were tears streaming down her face.

They were tears of joy, so why did she feel like crying?

Within seconds, the hiccups had changed to sobs and then the sobs to crying. Rey felt her whole body shake as sobs wracked through her and she completely broke down on the steering wheel.

Her cries and whimpers were gentle, yet she still felt her whole body jumping with each sob that escaped her belly. She felt so lost, she had no idea where the urge to cry had come from but it slipped out anyway.

A part of her felt embarrassed for the boy sitting next to her, for completely losing it in front of him, but she had no control, no choice. It was involuntary.

She finally realized where the urge to cry had come from, it came from the fact that she had actually learned to drive. All her life she had to beg and suffer for something she wanted but not today. Today she had been given freely of someone else’s time with no price at all. She was taught one thing that her heart had ached over not being able to do. She didn’t feel insecure or incompetent anymore, like a failure. She felt strong and independent, like she could take on the world now.

It all sounded silly from an outside perspective, crying over learning to drive. The world would think she was crazy, but she didn’t care. She was able to defy Plutt’s hold on her and that made the world of difference. What was once denied to her was no longer denied. Let everyone call her crazy, let even the boy next to her think it, she could care less. She felt like she was finally good at something, finally worth someone’s time, finally worth something.

Her small cries and whimpers continued until she felt the large hands that pried her fingers from the steering wheel. She didn’t even flinch, didn’t fight or gasp at the contact. She was too lost in her own ironic pain and relief that she had accomplished something for herself.

The hands that removed her from the wheel suddenly pulled her closer until she felt herself being turned into his side and her head being pulled to his chest. His warm arms wrapped around her, one on her lower back and the other resting on the back of her head. He placed his chin on top of her head and buried his face in her hair that had turned lighter from the sun reflecting on it.

She felt his heat immediately, from his arms to his hands. He held her so gently that she felt like a precious doll. Something to be cherished…and then the sobs increased again. She buried her face deeper into his broad chest as the cries came back full force.

What was wrong with her? She never cried on someone like this before, whenever she did allow herself to shed tears, it was just herself, alone in the privacy of her own dark moments. In her mind it was okay to cry but she was always did this alone.

In hindsight she always felt that crying was a severe form of weakness and vulnerability that always led to nothing. Crying never solved anything and as pointless as it was, it still didn’t stop her from having moments like this. She used to hate herself as a child, but now she has slowly embraced the fact that she’s human and can’t help when experiencing these emotions.

Ben instantly tightened his arms around her, like a protective shield surrounding her. His hand splayed up her back as he rubbed soothing circles, she could feel the heat from his hands through her dress. The hand on the back of her head felt warmer as he threaded his long fingers into her hair. He leaned his head down lower until his chin was resting on the side of her temple.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” she grossly sobbed out as her hands fisted on his chest.

He shushed her immediately and placed his lips to the top of her head near her hair line.

More tears sprang and her soft whimpers pulled at his heart strings. He had to control himself from losing it with her, falling into her despair mixed with pain and suffering. All he could do was hold her, hold and give her all the warmth she needed, all of himself that she needed.

Being held by Ben felt surreal and overwhelming, he was so large, she felt so tiny cradled up in his chest. She felt like she was wrapped up in a cocoon, warm and safe from the outside world.

After a few short minutes she ceased crying and pressed her ear further into his left side. And that’s when she heard it, his beating heart, pumping thunderously. The sound of music to her ears, a soothing wave, a steady calm, a sound of life and warmth and security.

She took the time to breath him in while listening to his heartbeat. His scent was distinctive, warm smelling like a forest during springtime, like fresh air in the morning. Without thinking she nudged her nose further into his chest, attempting to burn his scent into her memory. Why she wanted to do this she had no idea, no current answer in her head. Her small sobs eventually turned into sniffles and she took every sniffle as an opportunity to intake him.

She didn’t know what true peace felt like, her life had never allowed her. But she was pretty sure it must be something close to this, being held and cradled like you’re the most important existence on earth.

She slowly opened her clenched fists and let her hands sprawl on his chest, she heard his breath hitch and his heart rate increase the moment she had. It didn’t phase her how close they were or how intimate this contact could be. He was just easing the pain in her chest and she would absorb as much as he could give her, as much as she could take.

They stayed like this for a while, the sun hitting them softly through the front windshield, a soft glow on them, until her breathing evened out. She finally opened her eyes and unconsciously began playing with a loose stitch from Ben’s shirt that was in her line of sight.

Ben’s breath came out roughly now and she could hear him swallow thickly. His arms around her suddenly felt too hot and she felt the need to stay in his arms, to stay put overwhelming her. Maybe he was becoming uncomfortable, the close contact too much.

She winced internally, maybe he didn’t want to hold her anymore, maybe she had used too much of him, selfishly.

She lifted her hand gently to push herself away from him but he caught it immediately, staying her retreat. His own hand was warm and soothing, who would have thought that large hands could be so magnetizing.

She took his action as a sign that he didn’t want to let her go just yet. Perhaps she had been wrong, perhaps he didn’t feel like she was using him.

He gently slid her hand back to his chest where it had been and covered her hand with his. His enveloped hers, his fingers brushing gentle strokes on her knuckles. The touch was so light and soothing, she didn’t want his comforting gesture to stop.

She couldn’t face him though, too afraid of the feelings rising in her chest. So she kept her head still, resting against his broad chest, looking at his hand on top of hers. She couldn’t focus on anything but his hand gently caressing hers, her heart rate increasing immensely in the process.

His rough knuckles suddenly became appealing, so appealing that she wanted to place her lips there and….

Her mind felt numb but her heart ached at the need for contact, the need to kiss the hands that were easing the painful ache in her chest.

Without dwelling on her own sanity she pulled his hand closer, until his knuckles were right by her cheek. Her lips grazed the bony edges and she was about to descend when she heard the intruder just outside the window.

“Master Solo!”

Rey and Ben jumped away from each other in an instant, almost like lightning. She wasn’t sure if it was out of fear of someone intruding or probably the fact that they were so close and sitting alone in his truck. The impropriety of it all made her snap into her senses. Well she didn’t feel it was inappropriate, others might not like the way it looks, especially the intruder that just spotted them.

A sudden shame fell over her, how could she be so close to him without feeling any guilt or embarrassment. She had just wanted his comfort, his embrace, something to feel besides the numbness of her daily life. But she didn’t think about how others would perceive them like this without knowing the context.

Was it strange for a friend to comfort another friend the way they did? She was still new to this whole friendship thing, even with Finn, Rose and Poe. Was she screwing up?

A million thoughts zoomed through her mind, destabilizing her fragile insecurity and self-doubt. There was nothing going on between her and Ben, just friends she reminded herself. _So why did you want to kiss his hand? _She slammed that thought away immediately, hoping that it wouldn’t come back to haunt her later when she had time to think.

She momentarily scooted as far away from Ben as possible, her body aching in protest for his warmth. She scolded herself for missing his heat and sat against the door on the driver’s window, not daring to look at the person who had witnessed their intimate moment.

She heard Ben clear his throat as he rolled down the window more on the passenger’s side. “Threepio?” He practically growled in irritation at the older man sitting in his car.

Threepio, that name sounded familiar, he was the housekeeper at the mayor’s residence. He had greeted her at the door the day of the dance when she first visited Ben’s home with Poe. They had called him “CP” for short.

The older man stuck his head out further from the driver’s window, “Oh mastero Solo, are you alright? I was on my way to the market to retrieve things for this evenings dinner when I saw your father’s truck parked here on the side of the road. I was worried that you had broken down or ran out of fuel. So I drove up to see if you needed assistance.”

Ben sighed in frustration, the older man’s Italian accent always over the top and dramatic to the point where it was comical yet he was always serious. Of course he would catch them at such an inconvenient time. This wasn’t out of character for the old Italian, he was the most inconvenient man he ever knew.

Threepio or CP for short could be a nitwit, an idiot at times for a lack of better word. He was always prying, always lost, had no social skills whatsoever, was terrible at perceiving the emotions of another human being, could be awkward as hell and never knew how to just butt out or mind his own business whenever he thought he was “helping”. On top of that he was so single minded and abstract to the point where it would drive everyone nuts. Ben wondered if it was just the way he was raised, to be that way.

Both Ben and Poe had bonded over little while growing up but they did bond over trolling and messing with CP. It wasn’t uncommon for them to snake and prank the old Italian, especially when they wanted something. They would tag team and piss off the older man just for laughs, especially when he irritated them as boys. It was just their thing and they always escaped getting into trouble for it, most of the time.

Everyone in the house knew he could be such a fool at times and Ben wondered why his mother kept him around.

But deep down he knew why, it was because he was as much a part of the family as a blood relative. He was the faithful housekeeper who had been in the family for generations. And as much as Ben hated how much he irritated him, he couldn’t hate him or force his mother to fire him.

The house was never left out of order, he obeyed every command and was trustful/honest in almost everything. The old not-so-wise keeper was going to die apart of his family regardless of what he felt.

And right now, Ben felt that he might just die a little sooner for sneaking up on him and Rey.

“Everything is fine CP, keep driving,” he had to control the bark that was threatening to escape his chest.

“Oh-oh are you sure master Solo?” He wasn’t going to budge.

“Yes! And I told you to stop calling me that! You’re like three times my age,” he had to grit his teeth at the last one. How many times had he repeatedly asked him not to call him master, yet everyone was always “Master Solo”, “Master Organa”, “Master Poe”. Ben swore he made himself sound like a slave more than a housekeeper.

“Are you sure mast- Solo.”

“Yes, Threepio now head back to the house!” A loud huff escaped his throat, his irritation increasing.

“Yes, yes, yes of course, giovane maestro Solo.”

Ben had to roll his eyes as the man started driving away. While he didn’t know much Italian, he wasn’t stupid enough not to understand what he had just said.

“Sarà la giovane belle donna- be joining us this evening?” He had to make just one more remark.

“No Threepio now get lost!”

The Italian man grumbled as he drove off down the street.

Ben took a deep breath in the passenger’s seat before turning back to Rey who still sitting in the driver’s seat staring out the window. Suddenly the reality of how close they just were settled into the old truck, attempting to suffocate them.

He cleared his throat, “I’m sorry Rey, he can be stupid at times.” His voice was hesitant, almost afraid.

“Huh?” She snapped her gaze towards him, too afraid and lost in her own thoughts to notice he had spoken to her.

“Our housekeeper,” he clarified. “He’s always so intrusive, he’s kind of an idiot, a faithful idiot none-the-less.” He tried to joke but she stayed quiet, blinking up at him.

An awkward silence descended and Rey wondered what was happening or how they got to this point when a minute ago they were holding each other, lost in each other’s warmth. She didn’t know what to say or do so she just addressed the elephant sitting in the middle seat of the truck.

“Ben- I-…” she stuttered the words leaving her mouth. “About- about me losing it a second ago, I didn’t mean for myself to look crazy. I didn’t mean to break down and to-”. _To what, use you? _

She shuddered at her own thoughts, how many times would she use and abuse Ben Solo’s warmth that he gave so freely and kindness that she surely didn’t deserve.

Before she could finish her thoughts on what to say next he butt in, “Don’t. It’s not silly and you’re not crazy.” His eyes bore into her, truth lacing each syllable in his sentence, it was too intense to take in yet so believable.

“Right,” she gave out a shuddering laugh trying to be comical yet filled with relief at the same time. “Can we never bring this up to anyone, while you may never think I’m mad, others may or will.” She looked down, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.

She saw him extended his hand towards her lap but snap back at the last second.

A small deep-rooted seed of disappointment blossomed in her that he hadn’t taken her hand again. Her skin still ached for his warmth.

“Sounds like a deal,” he cleared his throat. “Considering you saw me not that long ago completely go off the wagon. I’d say were even on the nut case file.”

She laughed at his comment for real this time, and the tension slowly started to fade.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. At least I learned to drive though.”

A small smiled reached his lips. “Speaking of driving, we should probably head back, it’s getting late. I gotta refill the tank back at the garage but then I can take you home or… wherever you wana go.”

“Right,” Rey nodded as she slipped out of the driver’s seat. “I think it’s better if you drive in town, don’t want to kill anybody yet.”

“You won’t, so long as there aren’t any sharp turns.”

She slapped his arm playfully, “It was one turn!” She protested as he jumped in the driver’s seat and fired up the engine.

“Life’s made of little moments including accidents. It only takes _one turn_ in life to mess up a little moment or in your case a big moment.” A dry mischievous grin found its’ way on his face.

“Har har har, you’re so funny Ben Solo,” she smacked his arm again for such ridiculous humor.

“Thank you,” he grinned out.

She rolled her eyes at him as they started driving through town. He could be so cheeky at times, it drove her mad, yet it was one of her favorite personality traits about him.

“So when did you learn to speak Italian?” It didn’t slip her attention that the family housekeeper spoke to him in his native tongue.

“I don’t, I only understand a little that he taught me, but he didn’t teach me much. He did teach me Latin though.”

“Latin?”

“Yeah, it’s an old language.”

“It’s dead.”

“I know, but it still holds much significance. It was the birth of many European languages including English. Did you know that over half percent of English words have Latin roots?”

“No.”

“Exactly, it’s more important than people think.”

She smiled to herself, he was being such a scholar again but she adored his enthusiasm. “Was it hard learning it?”

“Oh yeah, I could barely speak it, let alone read and write.”

“You can read and write it?”

“Yep,” he nodded casually.

Now she was impressed, it was one thing to speak and another thing to read and right. She had barely picked up French back home and only because it helped her scavenge with her foreign neighbors. Other than that, she never learned to read or write a second language.

“Do you write poetry in Latin?”

He hesitated before answering, “Only when I feel inspired.”

“Inspired by what?” She asked causally as his hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.

“It depends, it’s a secret,” he smiled to himself as she scoffed. Why was he so secretive when it came to the poetry he wrote.

For some reason an image suddenly popped into her head. It was an image of the poem that she had read from the poetry wall that day she had attended Pro. Tano’s poetry meeting last fall. It had been written in Latin and English with the most beautiful penmanship she had ever seen. And the pen name had been _Kylo Ren_. She wondered if this poet wanted to remain anonymous for a reason or if it was for some purpose to avoid the attention of acknowledgement. Regardless she found Ben Solo and _Kylo Ren_ to be very similar in secrecy.

The rest of the ride to the mayor’s residence had been filled with conversation on Latin literature and languages. She had tried to impress Ben with her broken French and it had worked. He then proceeded into a history lesson between French and Latin which left her speechless.

Minutes later they drove up to Ben’s home and parked the old truck just outside the enormous garage. Rey sighed as she gazed out at the giant beautiful house, it still felt like a castle to her and she would be lying if she didn’t feel some sort of excitement about visiting again. She stepped out of the truck as Ben went searching for the gas can.

“Wait here, the gas can is inside.”

She nodded as he strode away to retrieve the gas container.

About two minutes later she heard something approaching her fast, catching her off guard and before she knew it she was being knocked down to the ground by a giant fur ball. She landed on her back with a loud thud and small gasp.

“BB8!” She heard Poe’s protest as the pup began to plant kisses on her face. She giggled as she struggled to push the energetic dog away from her and attempt to get off the ground. She hadn’t been hurt from the landing but she might have had he come at her a bit faster.

“BB off!” she heard Poe command sternly and the poor pup had no choice but to obey. He whined as he slowly backed away from her form, still wanting to play.

A second later he was extending his hand and helping Rey up from the ground.

“What happened?” Ben’s voice boomed loudly as he returned and saw Poe helping her stand.

“BB8,” was all he had to say before his brother snapped.

“Again,” he growled. “Why weren’t you watching him, he could have hurt her tackling her to the ground like that.”

“What! He was just playing,” Poe responded defensively.

“Well you should have been watching him, he pushed her to the cement,” Ben’s protective tone was harsh and she didn’t want them to start fighting over this.

“Ben,” she stated lightly, “It’s alright, I’m perfectly fine. He just wanted my attention I guess and he got it.” She smiled at the pup who was still whining to come near her and receive the affection that he knew she would give him.

He gave out a frustrated sigh, “You really need to watch him, she could have gotten hurt or hit her head!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry ok.” Poe pleaded with his hands raised in surrender. “Still working on it pal, it’s easier said than done with this little firecracker.”

Ben breathed out slowly relaxing, letting his rising anger fade.

“I’m really alright Ben, no need to worry.” She did her best to reassure him again. “Right BB,” she cooed, giving him permission to rush her again but not jump this time. An excited laugh escaped her as he rubbed himself on her legs before licking her shoes. “He just _adores and worships_ me, don’t you BB,” talking to him like a baby she started petting his fur coat.

“He’s not the only one apparently,” Poe muttered under his breath earning him a burning glare from Ben. Rey conveniently didn’t notice the exchange between the two brothers as she was too busy ruffling BB’s puppy dog ears, earning her an excited yelp.

“I’m gona refill the tank,” Ben mumbled darkly before hastily moving towards the truck. He still seemed upset about her being pushed to the ground but she figured he would let it go eventually. He couldn’t hold it against the poor pup but he could against his brother. 

“Anywho,” Poe chimed in trying to clear the air. “Whacha two been up to?”

Rey released BB8, wondering if she should tell Poe or not about Ben teaching her to drive. She still felt inadequate about the ordeal but figured there would be no harm done in telling him.

“Ben taught me how to drive, well drive the truck anyway,” she gestured towards him as he poured the gas in.

“Wow really! You didn’t know how to drive? I thought you knew how to drive?”

The air suddenly changed again and before she could feel embarrassed or insecure she heard Ben slam the tank shut, before turning to glare at his adoptive brother.

“What!?” He protested. “You’re like a mechanic aren’t you, I just figured-”

“Why don’t you just shut up.” Ben grumbled as he stood from the truck’s tank.

He sighed defeatedly, “I didn’t mean to offend her. I just thought-”

“Well you thought wrong,” Ben snapped back.

“It’s alright Poe, don’t worry. I never had the opportunity to learn until now.” She butted in before another fight could erupt. “According to my teacher, I passed,” she laughed as a big smile crossed her lips, remembering how he had given her that congratulatory smile.

“Nice! Now you can drive anywhere. Maybe I’ll take you out for a spin in the convertible, you’ll love it.”

She laughed, “I don’t know about that. I’m still learning the sharp turns, I don’t think it’s safe to drive near people yet.”

“Aww those pesky turns, they always get me. I remember one time when we were a bit younger and Ben here was learning how to drive, he almost flipped the truck from turning too fast out by the hangar.”

“I did not!”

“You don’t say,” she eyed Ben curiously while playfully narrowing her eyes at him. “He’s been giving me slack all day about those ‘pesky turns’. He claims he saw his life flash before his eyes on a sharp turn I took.”

“Oh yeah the one by the narrow bend, that one’s a killer. It almost took us both out,” Poe teased as he saw his brother’s cheeks turn red.

“I did not flip the truck,” he deadpanned.

“I said almost,” Poe clarified with a grin.

This time Rey was giggling. “Caught red handed I see. I guess sharp turns are neither of our fortes.” She beamed up at him with a glow in her eyes.

His embarrassment faded and he smiled down at her, the own glow in his eyes matching hers. “Guilty as charged madam.”

She snorted, “Although I hardly noticed now. Your driving is quite impressive.”

“With some effort. You’ll get used to it and then it’ll be as easy as walking.” He beamed down back at her and they both forgot about the other person with them.

After a considerable amount of time Poe cleared his throat and the two teens snapped out of their gaze.

“So Rey, what you doing later. Wana join us for dinner?”

“That is out of the question,” Ben interjected surprising her with his sudden hesitation.

“What? You two must be hungry, driving out by the hangar all day. It’s almost supper and CP is making his famous pasta. You’ll love it Rey, it’s delicious.”

“Oh- I…”

“Stop pressuring her Poe.”

“I’m not pressuring her, I’m asking her if should would like to join us.”

She looked between the two brothers and could see the worry and hesitation etched onto Ben’s face. He looked like he wished she would say no and she wondered why he didn’t want her over for dinner.

Maybe it had something to do with what happened a few weeks back at the hangar. He had fought with his family or with his mother as he stated previously. What if Leia blamed her for pushing Ben to lash out, what if the mayor didn’t want her around. She had hurt him after all, calling him a monster and murderous snake, letting her own ignorance pass judgement. And it had resulted in both brothers missing school, a decimated plane, a family quarrel, Ben not taking care of his health and outbursts of anger.

No mother would want someone who had indirectly caused those things near them or their child. She suddenly felt so insecure and small that she wanted to run from the giant house. She was too ashamed to face mayor Organa again, she didn’t want to think about the damage control.

However, if she did accept the invitation, then she would have the opportunity to apologize to the older woman to her face. She could settle this ordeal to rest and not have to live with her guilty conscious on the matter. She concluded that the latter was the best option.

“I guess I could join,” her voice came out small almost shallow and she saw Ben sigh defeatedly, his eyes staring off into the distance.

“Great! Let’s head inside and wash up.” Poe beamed as he leashed BB8 and left to put him in the backyard.

Both Rey and Ben just stood there alone, looking at anything but each other. An awkwardness started creeping its’ way in again and she fumbled with what to say next.

He eventually cleared his throat, “Listen Rey,” his voice was deep and somber. “I didn’t mean to exclude you, I just. It’s my family, my mother, this house. It can all be very…overwhelming and I didn’t want you to feel hurt or pressured.”

There it was again, that same protectiveness from earlier. He was trying to protect her from his family, from his own mother. He didn’t want her to get hurt and deep down he knew how his mother could be.

She wondered again about what his relationship with his parents had been like or was currently like with his mother. Maybe if she saw how he was with his mother at dinner she could determine if things had mended since the hangar incident.

But maybe she had miscalculated completely, maybe Leia truly did blame her and Ben was only trying to prevent a confrontation. Should she have rejected then? And not ignored her instincts to flee, how was his mother going to act around her, around Ben. Before she could panic, she centered herself and reminded herself of why she had accepted the invitation to dinner in the first place.

She sighed after a long minute of silence with her own thoughts, “It’s alright, I’ve had family dinners before with Rose and Finn. Both were different experiences but none-the-less I had enjoyed my time with them.”

He let out a deep breath he had been holding. “If my mother or anyone asks you too many questions you don’t have to answer them. And we can leave whenever you want, you don’t have to stay,” he told her all this sternly, protectively.

“I’ll be alright Ben,” she smiled up at him reassuringly, almost tempted to take his hand but hesitated. “Let’s head inside. I’m sure we’re both due for a meal.”

***

To say that dinner at the Organa/Solo residence would be a different experience from Rose and Finn’s would be the biggest understatement of the year. This wasn’t a family dinner, this was a fancy feast.

The dining room alone was probably bigger than her entire house. The décor was shinny and sparkly with a beautiful glass diamond chandelier hanging above the dining table. The color pallets of the giant room were warm, bright yet deep in richness.

The chinaware set out was elaborate and glamourous. The porcelain plates were white with eloquent blue designs on them with gold trimmings on the edge. The glass cups sparkled as they lined up perfectly next to the eight or so pieces of silverware by each set that were lined up perfectly too. There were numerous glass vases with candles lit and a giant array of fresh flowers that adorned the marble glass table. The lushness of the glass and flowers was enough to make her eyes hurt as the sun that reflected from the giant windows poured the evening light in. The place was lit up like a sea of crystals as the oncoming sunset hit every shiny object it could reflect off.

Rey swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling like a bull in a china shop, like she didn’t belong, like one touch would shatter everything. It was like walking on a sea of glass. She stiffened as she realized how much she contrasted this beautiful room. Her tattered dress felt much more shabbier and her shoes suddenly more worn out. Her hair was sloppy from the adventures prior and her three buns were already uncoiling in her hair. She saw her reflection in the glass china cabinet across from her and felt the urge to flee undeniable. She had never felt she looked more ugly then now in her entire life. 

Ben noticed her staring at her reflection, with a wariness in her eyes. It was all he needed to confirm that this was too much for her.

“Rey?” His voice told her that he couldn’t stand the look in her eyes. He reached for her elbow gently, “We can leave, c’mon.” His voice was reassuring, soothing to her rising insecurity. It made her wonder why a boy this rich would want to hang around her, dance with her…hold her hand. Now that she thought about it she must look so drab next to him, like a charity case.

She nodded without taking her eyes off her reflection, it was destabilizing her further and she let him guide her towards the exit.

“Are you guys ready, I’m starving!” Poe beamed before the pair could exit. He sat down towards the head of the table and gestured for them to join him.

The pair hesitated as Poe urged them on. “C’mon guys, madam mayor will be here shortly and you know how she is about punctuality.”

She hesitated and Ben grasped her elbow for real this time. “We’re gona go.”

“What? Why? You’re already here,” Poe complained with an urgency to his voice.

“Because I said so-.”

“No it’s alright,” her wary voice chimed in. “He’s right we’re already here and we don’t want to miss out on Threepio’s pasta right.” She tried to smile up at Ben as he gave her a confused look. She had to face this head on regardless of what she felt, so long as he was with her she could endure this luxurious out of this world dinner. She gently removed her elbow from his grasp and placed her hand near his shoulder.

“I don’t think an hour could hurt, do you.” She looked up at him for reassurance and he pressed his lips into a thin line, wariness still etched in his eyes. He still looked lost, since a minute ago she had agreed to leave but now he wasn’t so sure.

She did her best to convince him with her eyes that she could do this and that she was tired of being afraid or ashamed of who she was. She didn’t want to let her situation keep holding her back, she had started feeling this way ever since her and Ben had grown closer. She wondered if that had something to do with her rising boldness to face situations such as these.

His strained lips eventually softened and he nodded while looking down between them. “An hour couldn’t hurt,” he breathed out while trying to relax his posture.

She smiled softly while removing her hand from his shoulder. Their eyes locked again in the same trance from earlier. They eventually both turned towards the dining table, facing Poe who was watching them closely.

He chuckled to himself while shaking his head.

“What?” Ben growled as he saw the look in his brother’s eyes.

“Nothing, nothing,” he sang out in a high-pitched tone with his hands raised in surrender. He tapped the table while breathing out dramatically and ended it with a whistle.

“Maestro Poe! Could you help me bring the food out! The others are busy,” Threepio’s accent echoed from the kitchen.

He taped the table harder with his hand, “And that’s my cue to go. I’ll let you two settle in.” He winked at Rey as he disappeared into the kitchen to help with the food.

Ben sighed while shaking his head, “Are you sure about this?” He asked her gingerly still not sure of himself.

“Yes, I am.” She moved towards the table and took one last look at herself in the reflection from the china cabinet. Looking at her reflection she started trying to fix herself, adjusting her dress to appear more fitting and attempting to fix her hair that was loose from the buns. She didn’t want to look like some sort of street bum, even though she looked and played the part well.

But Ben stopped her immediately.

“Don’t,” he pleaded. “You look fine the way you are. You don’t need to change anything about yourself.” Something about the way he said that made butterflies gather in her stomach. Did he really think she was good enough not to change anything about herself? How could anyone think she looked perfectly fine, she wondered if he was lying but something about the gleam in his eyes told her otherwise. He was looking at her intensely again, like she was the sunrise for crying out loud, and the butterflies returned.

They both moved to sit down, Ben holding her chair out for her like a gentleman. She wondered how well-mannered he was and found him to be the most gentleman like person she had ever encountered.

Once they were seated, both Poe and CP returned with the food. They set everything out and a delicious smelling aroma hit her nose. She looked across to see a bowl of pasta noodles and next to it was a giant dipping bowl of pasta sauce. A whiff of tomato, garlic, sausage and something else made her mouth start watering. The bread was freshly baked and the smell of butter was fresh off the bun. Another giant bowel was brought out and the scent of tomato filled the air again. This bowl was a soup, juicy filled with noodles and vegetables. And finally a giant crystal salad bowl was brought out with fresh lettuce and vegetables, it made her practically drool. The food was in the most beautiful dishes she had ever laid eyes on. The elegance of it all made the food so much more appealing.

The full course meal was all spread out on a much smaller narrower table across from the grand table where they sat. She could feel her mouth watering and the anticipation of tasting the food almost made her bounce in her seat. If there was one thing she cherished it was food.

Ben smiled down at her enthusiasm and whispered low in her ear, “You’ll like it, it’s really good. The pasta sauce I would say is the deal breaker.”

A chill ran down her spine hearing his deep voice so close to her ear.

She turned to face him not realizing how close their faces were and suddenly felt the moment too thick in the air. They both froze out of embarrassment until the soft yet strong voice of Leia Organa rang throughout the dining room. They both snapped forward, Ben standing as his mother entered.

“Aww Threepio,” the older woman beamed. “I can’t believe you made my favorite dish. I could practically smell it from the garden.”

“Of course maestra, only for you,” he bowed dramatically earning him an eye role from the woman. “Please stop CP you’re not a servant here.”

“I know mistress, but it is my life’s duty to serve the head family,” he bowed again. This time earing him annoyed looks from both Ben and Poe who gave each other a side glance and shook their heads in unison. This resulted in Rey giggling softly to which Leia turned her head at the quiet sound that echoed louder then she intended.

“Rey dear?” The woman’s raspy voice broke the silence.

She stiffened at her name and instantly stood to show her respect, “Mayor Organa, please forgive me for intruding, I was asked to join for diner.” Her voice came out so shaky, so timid she probably sounded stupid as she gave her a little curtsy.

“Oh no dear-”

“She’s not intruding,” Ben barked loudly not letting his mother finish.

“That’s right, I invited her to try CP’s pasta!” Poe beamed sensing Rey’s wariness, trying to smooth the atmosphere out.

“Of course dear, it’s wonderful to have you over, I’m so glad you could join us.” She smiled warmly at her without hesitation, like a mother accepting a child to the dinner table.

She smiled back at her sensing her wariness fade. Perhaps Leia Organa wasn’t as mad at her as she thought. Maybe the night wouldn’t be as precarious as she thought it would be.

Once they were all gathered around the table, Leia sat first then her sons and Rey. She didn’t know much about propriety but she just figured that people who had money always followed proper manners. As the head of the house Leia sat first, she’d heard about this sort of thing back home but never saw it firsthand. Family diner at this house was proving to be much different from anything she had experienced in her life.

After grace was said, Threepio began to go around and serve the food. Another housekeeper entered and began to help serve, followed by another. Rey suddenly realized that they had servants to prepare and serve the food. She had never seen such a thing, no one had ever served her a meal before like this.

These housekeepers were well polished and wore nice clothes, much nicer than hers, she wondered how lucky it must be to work for an employer such as the mayor. They smiled warmly at her as they perfectly propped down the salad and served the soup.

“Is that enough miss?” One of them asked politely but she was too lost in awe of the scene before her to notice. After a second too long she finally nodded, her cheeks flushing in the process. She felt Ben’s eyes on her, watching her as everything played out.

Once everyone was served, Leia took the first bite and then everyone began to dig in.

The mayor was at the head of the table with her sons sitting next to her on either side followed by Rey next to Ben and then CP across from her.

She looked down at her meal excitedly to eat until she noted the multiple pieces of silverware laid out before her. There were probably eight or so spread out and she found herself getting a headache from trying to figure out which one to pick first. She tried to discreetly eye everyone at the table to see which fork or spoon they had picked up first but failed miserably.

A light conversation picked up at the table but she hardly noticed as her anxiety spiked at the thought of picking up the wrong utensil and making a total fool of herself. If she made a mistake, she would look even more poverty stricken and stupid.

Her eyes landed on Poe across from her who gave her a sympathetic look. “Work your way in,” he whispered so softly that no one else heard and she had to practically read his lips just to understand what he had said. Luckily, he had gestured with his index fingers to which utensils to pick up first as he whispered.

Ben then turned at the silent conversation between the two and Poe smiled encouragingly as she picked the correct fork. He gave her a small thumbs up as she dug into her salad.

Ben leaned towards her as he understood what Poe was trying to tell her. A sudden shame fell over him. “I’m sorry Rey, I should’ve explained-.”

“Mmm,” she groaned lightly, cutting him off, “This salad is so fresh, it’s amazing.” She was too preoccupied to notice what he was saying to her.

He then sighed and shook his head, “You never cease to amaze me at your ability to learn.” He gave her an amused look.

“Maybe it’s because I have good teachers,” she mused while digging into her salad.

“I thought I was your teacher,” he stated more seriously.

“Yeah, but Poe is a good one too.”

She heard him grumble something lowly as he stabbed his salad with his fork a little too aggressively and focused on his plate.

Luckily the diner conversation was mostly focused on Leia, Poe and CP that she didn’t have to talk much at the beginning. Even Ben was quiet and she wondered if he was like this for all family dinners. He still seemed a bit tense and ready for whoever would be the person to bring them into the conversation. He hadn’t conversed with his mother yet and it concerned her.

After the first course was served it was time for the main event. The pasta, she was so excited that she hardly noticed that her name had been mentioned at the table and everyone’s eyes were on her. She stared back with a dumb expression on her face not knowing what was happening.

Ben cleared his throat until his mother broke in again.

“How are you enjoying your time here in Naboo dear?”

“Oh,” she cleared her throat, unsure now that she had been pulled into conversation. “Fine, just fine, the weather is beautiful during springtime.” She tried to smile politely like she hadn’t made herself look stupid a minute ago.

“Oh yes, Naboo has the most beautiful spring and summers. The gardens are starting to bloom, perhaps we could show you them after dinner.” Leia gave her a warm smile that made her uneasiness fade again.

She couldn’t believe how kind and wonderful Ben’s mother was being towards her after everything that transpired. This woman truly was a treasure, someone with power but didn’t abuse it. She could tell by the way the housekeepers and cooks respected her and seemed happy to be here that she hadn’t abused it or how she had accepted her immediately after seeing her in her poor state of dress, that this women was more humble then she would have ever imagined.

She dwelled on these thoughts until she heard CP ask her a question.

“It appears I’m not the only foreigner here. Your accent darling, pray child tell me what part of Europa you hail from.” He leaned over the table dramatically waiting excitingly for her response.

“Oh- umm, I’m from England.”

“Ahh! God save the queen!” He barked out dramatically which earned him a laugh from everyone at the table including Rey. It was stereotypical enough but she took no offense.

“What city? I visited London once when I was a boy, kind of smelly there.” CP crinkled his nose at the memory.

She smiled to herself, London could stink or at least the parts she had been to. “A small town called Jakku, just outside London is where I’m from.”

“Oh I see, country girl. I was a country boy myself, from the region of Veneto. Oh how I miss those days. The beauty of my country cannot be outmatched.”

“Why don’t you ever go back Threepio, you love and miss it so much. It’s all you ever talk about,” Leia mused as she gently slurped her soup.

A darkness covered the man’s face. “Oh no mistress, I don’t think I could ever go back. The war is swallowing my country alive, I don’t think I have a home to go back to.”

Rey froze mid bite to her pasta, gently setting the utensil back down as his words shook her to the core.

“The war is unfortunate CP, I’m sorry to hear of it,” the older woman tried to reassure him.

“Pretty soon Italy will end up like Britain. Destroyed and decimated with nothing but ash. Pray child! I hope you don’t have any family left in Jakku.”

Rey froze again, one hand on the table near her plate and the older dangling to the side by her chair. The room suddenly felt suffocating and stuffy like someone had placed a sheet over her head, making it harder to breathe. This was a conversation she did not want to have or ever think about having, especially here.

“Where is your family child? I hope they are safe.” The old Italian probed completely unaware of the tension rising within her and bleeding into the atmosphere.

“They-,” her voice came out shallow as her breathing increased.

“Oh, they must be here right?” He interjected again not letting her continue. “I mean you’re here so that means they must be. Did you and your family come by ship. Or did they send you away?”

She winced at that last one, feeling her hand tremble under the table.

“Threepio,” Ben growled dangerously low, on the verge of snapping.

“Ugh, enough about the war buddy,” Poe lightly padded the older man next to him sensing the distress coming from the opposite side of the table.

“Yes, please,” Leia cleared her throat roughly sensing it also. “It’s only a matter of time before we enter it and I’d rather much not think about it.”

Rey still hadn’t recovered from the conversation a second ago. She was staring down at her pasta, trying to blink away the glassiness in her eyes and hating herself for it. She could not lose it at a table filled with people she barely knew.

A moment later she felt something brush her fingers that were dangling beneath the table by her chair. She didn’t look down but she could feel Ben’s fingertips brushing hers gently. They were warm reassuring, soothing and soft. She then moved her fingertips against his almost automatically and felt herself being centered. He didn’t look at her and kept his head forward as she did the same. They both attempted to eat with one hand as their other hand was occupied beneath the table.

The conversation about the war had picked back up again but neither one of them payed any attention. All they could feel was their fingertips attempting to intertwine discreetly underneath the table. Ben eventually hooked his pinky around hers and she felt the world stand still.

A peace surrounded her and if it was up to her, she would keep their fingers hooked until the meal was over or someone noticed. She then slowly turned her head towards him but didn’t look at him and he did the same. The conversation around them was blurred out and muffled, the people in the room were suddenly invisible and all they could see and feel was each other.

When she finally did steal a glance at him from the corner of her eye, he was discreetly looking down at their fingers intertwined, reaching to hook all of them together.

The moment was too intense and she suddenly wasn’t hungry for the food anymore. She then snapped her head forward to look straight, at anything but him when her eyes met Poe’s.

He had been watching them.

While no one else had been or noticed…she’s not so sure how much of it he saw or understood. She thought the table was shielding them from the outside world.

She instantly snapped her hand away from Ben’s and cleared her throat. Forcing herself to continue eating without thinking about the loss of his hand.

The boy across from them just smirked but his eyes seemed clouded as he took a drink from his glass. Poe then spent a few seconds just looking back and forth between the two teens across from him. Analyzing something in his head before plastering a look on his face.

Neither Ben or Rey looked at him again.

“C’mon madam mayor, how long do you really think the U.S. will remain neutral. I’m telling you by this time next year, we’ll be at war.” Threepio pounded the table proudly making some of the glass shake. It made Rey focus on the conversation again which was unfortunately about war still. 

“I don’t want to think of it. There’s too much to lose,” she groaned out while eyeing her sons.

“Yes there is. …But you boys will look so sharp in uniform. There’s no doubt you’ll be drafted and find yourself in the bowels of Europa,” the old Italian stated so casually at the two brothers sitting across from each other. He looked at them so proudly, like he couldn’t wait to see the day.

“The current draft age is 21,” Leia gritted out while instantly placing a hand on each of her son’s wrists, stilling them. A protective instinct kicking in.

“And you don’t think they’ll lower the draft age once the war reaches our shores. You have two fine pilots for sons and with their physic, stamina and youth, Uncle Sam will practically be banging down your door for them.”

Rey thought she was going to be sick to the stomach.

“Well I won’t let him take them,” the older woman’s fingers curling harder around their wrists as she narrowed her eyes at CP.

“Mother…” Ben started with a sense of purpose. The first sentence he had given her at the dinner table. “You may not have a choice.”

She jumped back, like her son had just burned her.

“He’s right,” Poe joined in. “I can’t help but feel like if the war does come to us, we’ll have no choice but to join. It would be an honor to serve and protect the people I love.” The fire in his eyes made Rey realize the reality of the war reaching here. She could feel the food twisting in her belly even more, trying to push its’ way back up her esophagus.

Leia released her son’s wrists while sighing and placing her hand on her forehead, she looked deep in thought. “Please do not ruin this dinner any further Threepio.” While her voice was light, there was a seriousness to her raspy voice that made her an intimidating lioness.

“Per favore, mi scusi signora. I will now shut up.”

“Good, probably should have started with that,” Poe snickered, earning him a small chuckle from his brother that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Boys,” Leia warned, although she couldn’t help but agree inside.

The conversation then switched to a much lighter topic, blocking all things about the war completely out, which made everyone at the table breathe lighter.

Rey discovered that Ben had been right about Threepio, he really didn’t know when to shut up or how to sense the feelings of others during conversation. She thought that’s just how the older man is and there’s no way to change it. She also felt sympathetic towards him, considering his true home was being eaten alive by the war…just like hers. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t hate him so much for his probing about her family, as much as it had hurt.

Although the war topic was long pass, she was haunted by images for the remainder of dinner. The image was the same, it was an image of Ben, in a soldier’s uniform, a pilot’s uniform to be exact. His hair was trimmed much shorter and the uniform made him so much more handsome and appealing. However, the horror of reality came to snuff it out and the image would change to him being sent off to war and never coming back…

She would be waving goodbye to him as a platoon of soldiers would drag him away from her for the last time she’ll ever see him.

A small tear escaped to the edge of her eye but she swiped it so quickly that no one noticed, not even Ben.

She remained mostly quiet the rest of the dinner, only joining in conversation when prompted. The conversations weren’t as light as they were at Finn and Rose’s houses, but she still found herself laughing here or there. Poe and CP were really the life of the conversations and if they weren’t present, she’s not so sure how it would have been with just her, Ben and his mother.

Ben was extremely quiet, not completely participating in conversation and she wondered why. His mother and family seemed to care for him a great deal yet they seemed so distant. He hardly talked to Leia let alone Poe, yet this type of behavior seemed to be the norm for them. Maybe he was just always quiet, even Poe had warned her about this when explaining his moodiness.

Yet, she couldn’t help but feel like there was this light tension between Ben and his mother. It was like every time she would reach out to him he would back away not so much in actions but demeanor.

This bothered her greatly and she hoped that one day her and Ben could talk about it. Maybe while they worked under the Falcon together, and there was more freedom to discuss such things. 

Throughout the family dinner, Ben had occasionally checked on her, making sure she was alright and comfortable. She did a good job at suppressing her anxiety and smiled warmly at him every time he would steal a glance. He still kept up a protective air to his posture and was ready to shield her from anymore uncomfortable questions and conversations.

It drove her a little insane if she was being honest, but she felt safe with him nearby. He was her shield and she was his. 

***

“The gardens are beautiful aren’t they.” Leia Organa reached for a delicate sunflower and took a big whiff.

Rey watched the older woman next to her, as Ben and Poe wrestled around with BB8 from a distance in the garden’s clearing. They were trying to train him not to eat the flowers, yet he was determined on swallowing some roses whole. The frustration was clear on the brother’s faces even on their mother’s, yet they were determined on training the free-spirited canine. The pup was for sure a renegade, a wild beast who could not be tamed.

The sun was almost gone, reflecting the last of its’ light on the stone marble statutes that adorned the giant garden. The garden was for sure at least three times the size of her house with coble stone pathways leading in all directions. There were secret passages leading in all directions with giant trees for arch ways. The clearing contained one giant tree with a large wooden swing that looked like it had been played on too much.

A little further was a long giant garden pool with a three-tier fountain planted in the middle that quietly squirted water to the lower depths. The sound was soothing, like light raindrops in the morning’s dew. There were vines wrapping around the fountain and the pool was adorned with every type of rose you could think of on the marble railing. There were short Greek stone columns that aligned on the edges of the pool.

She thought for sure she had stepped into paradise the moment she exited the giant house and landed in the garden. She was so full from the pasta that she devoured that a walk outside was sure to help with the digestion.

A walk in paradise, a walk in Eden is what she felt like when her eyes practically bulged out of her head at the sight before her. So many flowers, so many roses, so much green and life, it made her wonder why she had been deprived of this all her life.

But she knew why. Only people with power and fortune could replicate the garden of Eden so easily without effort. And to think that Ben had grown up in this made a hard pang of jealously reach her chest.

Her life was dry and barren while his was green and warm filled with lushness.

But according to Ben, the lushness wasn’t always enough in life. Always enough to erase the hurt, pain and rejection. 

She stared off into the distance at the boys wrestling BB as he yelped and ran between their legs, disappearing into one of the secret passage pathways with them in pursuit.

Both women laughed at the scene and she felt herself relax a bit.

“That dog will destroy everything in sight before summer begins,” Leia mused as she walked beside Rey.

“Perhaps he needs a teacher.”

“Hmph, Poe not so much, but Ben I’m sure he can rifle him up.” The older woman paused by the edge of the pool, her face turning a little more serious.

Rey smiled at her comment, if there was one thing he was good at it was teaching. He seemed to be teaching her a lot recently.

“Rey dear, … I can sense your hesitation around me.”

She stiffened completely taken off guard by the woman’s words that seemed to appear out of nowhere. The mayor was smart as she was cunning, able to read her and it made her wonder if Ben had gained his ability to sense things from her. Like mother like son.

She smiled gently and padded the stone marble next to her as she sat down and gestured for Rey to join her.

She slowly lowered her body next to Leia, afraid of the conversation that was about to ensue. She placed her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers as she refused to completely face the prestigious woman, her foot tapping lightly on the ground.

They stayed quiet for a short minute before the older woman started, “I know what you must be thinking. That I was going to mistreat or berate you for causing my son distress a few weeks back.”

Here it was, the moment of truth, the time bomb waiting to go off. She braced herself for the woman’s words ready to accept what punishment would come her way.

“But you’re quite wrong. My son… he carries heavy loads on his chest. Some I may be responsible for and wish that I could release.” A sadness shadowed the woman’s eyes, yet she found the strength to continue.

“We were worried about him a few weeks back, when the confrontation occurred. He wouldn’t say who or what exactly had caused him to lose it or breakout in his bursts of anger and self-hatred but Poe had been perceptive enough to fill in the gaps.”

There he was again protecting her, he never said who or what had caused him such emotional distress and if it wasn’t for Poe, no one would have known it was her. Rey felt something coiling deep in her chest. Even when he thought she hated him and was a murderous monster he still shielded and protected her… like he always did.

Now that she thought about it, how many times had he saved and protected her from things that would try to distress her.

When she was cold, he would give her a coat, when she was passing out from her injury, his warm arms would catch her, when she didn’t know how to dance, he would teach her, when she didn’t know how to drive, he would teacher her, when Hux had bullied her that day at the diner, he had fought for her, when Hux’s friends had disrespected her, he had shoved them to the ground, when she had no Christmas gift, he gave her one, when Plutt tried to reach her that day he had walked her home, he put himself in front of her, when she need his body and warmth…he had given that to her too.

How much more would she take from him and abuse his kindness. Her eyes became glassy like a gate holding a dam back and the woman next to her noticed.

“Oh Rey dear, please don’t blame yourself,” she placed her much withered hands on top of hers. Completely unaware of the real reason why she was feeling emotional.

“I don’t blame you. This isn’t the first time this has happened. It just happened a little more intensely this time and it made me realize how much he must think of you. How much he must care about you and what you think of him.”

Rey swallowed thickly, clearing her throat and blurriness from her eyes. “What I think of him?”

Leia sighed, “He’s an intense boy, always has been. From what I hear of Threepio, he takes after his grandfather.” A dark shadow covered the woman’s eyes, but she shook her head to clear it out quickly. There was more to her words but Rey couldn’t understand them, it made her more curious.

“When he cares about something, he goes all in without hesitation. Yet he’s still always afraid, afraid of losing things important to him. I…I think he was afraid to lose you Rey and this may have caused him to have such violent reactions or outbursts.”

She turned more towards Leia. “So it _is_ my fault,” her voice breaking on the edge of being swallowed up by her own ignorance.

“No dear,” she laughed out with a shudder. “What I’m saying is that Ben was only lashing out of fear, not because of you. You’ve seemed to have some sort of effect on him somehow, and I believe it’s for the better.” Her raspy voice carried her words and she couldn’t help but believe the older woman.

“So, I make him better?” She tried to comprehend this but couldn’t.

She gave her a motherly smile, “Yes dear, except maybe you don’t or didn’t realize it until now.”

“Oh,” was all Rey could think of to say.

“Alright, enough with the heavy,” she released the young girl’s hands while standing. “You are always welcomed here Rey, and don’t ever doubt it. I’m always happy to see you and don’t be ashamed of who you are.”

She stood with the older woman, completely shocked with how this brief conversation had turned out. She always expected the worst and this had turned out to be a much welcomed surprise. His mother didn’t hate her and actually wanted her around.

She felt she understood a little better now why Leia had tried to erase the papers on her husband’s death. It was an attempt to erase the heavy loads that her son carries on his chest, even if she fully wasn’t capable of doing it perhaps eliminating reminders was one step. 

“Rey?” Ben’s voice cut in deep as he appeared from one of the secret passageways with BB8 trailing him. His seemed wary as he eyed her and his mother together, almost like he didn’t trust her with Rey. 

“I think it’s time we retreated, the sun is almost practically gone and the gardens won’t need our presence any longer,” Leia excused herself and headed towards the house.

“What was that about?” Ben questioned her with a hint of accusation in his tone.

Rey faced him with the most relieved posture she could conjure up, “Nothing, just talking.” She smiled casually and turned abruptly to head towards the house, with him trailing her, watching her every step.

She tried not to think about the conversation she had just had with his mother and how she mentioned that she was responsible for making Ben better. It still perplexed her greatly and she didn’t want to think about it now, her head was spinning so much recently she was sure to gain a headache.

Once inside, Rey gathered her things to leave for the night, dreading the thought of going home. Today had been a long day, but a good one at least. She learned how to drive, ate an amazing meal and got to experience the lushness of the gardens. It all made her feel satisfied and content with everything and on top of that Mayor Organa didn’t completely hate her guts, which made everything so much better. She wouldn’t sleep restlessly tonight.

“You ready to head out?” Ben asked lightly as he helped her gather her belongings. She nodded with a small contented smile on her face.

“Oh! I almost forgot! I wanted to show you something.” He then grabbed her hand abruptly and started leading her down one of the large hallways quickly, like a child excited to display something.

The softness of his hand in hers made a warm feeling flush her skin. He held her hand so casually like it was the most natural thing to do as she struggled to keep up with rapid pace. His legs were much longer than hers and he was practically pulling her with him.

After a minute, they stopped right before a pair of giant ornate wooden doors that were white and gold. He released her hand and turned towards her, an excited gleam to his eyes.

“This is my favorite place in the house,” he shrugged casually before turning to open the doors and leading her into the giant library.

The library was massive, extending up to the second floor, with thousands of books littering the shelves. The staircase wrapped around the entire room and in the middle was an old wooden chandelier lit up by long white candles hanging from the ceiling.

She gaped at the giant room, “This place- it’s incredible Ben.” She couldn’t help but breath out a smile as he started showing her around. Towards the back of the library was a large bookshelf that was covering a small table and chair behind it. It was secluded, like a little secret study.

He gave her the quick rundown and led her to the second floor to get a larger view of the giant room.

“Your favorite place huh,” she mused while eyeing the books on the shelves. “Have you read them all,” she teased lightly.

“Only the ones in Latin,” he deadpanned earning him a soft breathless laugh from her.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think it’s a dream come true for a scholar, a poet” she smiled up at him and their eyes locked.

She giggled softly as he put his head down a second later with amusement.

“I think it’s wonderful and might be my favorite place too. Although the gardens are probably higher up there,” she beamed while her eyes drifted throughout the shelves.

“Fair enough.” His eyes followed her, like the moon rotating in orbit.

“Ben! Can you come help Poe with BB8! He’s gotten out again,” Leia’s voice boomed from just outside the room, as she noticed the library was occupied.

Ben sighed, “Just give me one sec, I’ll be back.” He rushed down the staircase and exited the library quickly with an excited gait.

Rey then stood there alone atop the staircase and walked across the second floor. As she was gazing at the many titles of books, her eyes landed on the secret study with a bird’s eye view. She looked over the edge of the wooden staircase and noticed Ben’s satchel stretched out across the secluded table. She slowly descended the stairs and walked behind the tall bookshelf into the small study.

As she neared the old wooden table, she could see his rusted notebook sticking out of the corners of his bag. She came a little closer and noticed that the book was bent open. A small view of handwriting peeking its’ way out could be seen and she felt herself being drawn to it, like a magnet. 

Without thinking about consequence, she pulled out the notebook from his satchel and eyed the beautiful writing more closely. She should’ve felt ashamed for snooping through his things but for some reason his beautiful writing had blinded her ability to think straight.

The calligraphy of course was out of this world, so beautiful his penmanship was that it looked unreal. She realized quickly that the page of writing it was open on was arranged in stanzas and most likely a poem.

However, it was written in a language she could not comprehend. It looked similar to the language that she had seen the day of the poetry meeting with Pro. Tano when she pulled the poem off the wall. _Kylo Ren_ had written that poem whoever that was and for some reason this handwriting looked extremely similar, especially in curvature and style. That poem had been written in Latin and she concluded that this one must have been too.

With shaking anticipation, she flipped the notebook’s page to the other side, where it appeared that the same poem was written/translated in English.

She cleared her throat and read the following poem quietly to herself.

“**_My soul belongs to you, therefore it is shrouded in light, the light consumes me against my will, and I follow its’ command. What power you have over me my dearest light, that I follow you like an unrest babe. I must be under a goddesses’ spell for there is nothing known higher than a goddess that can consume and capture my soul. Tell me light of mine, why have thou bewitched me, I am no longer unable to resist thee. Your eyes cannot be rejected, your cheeks peppered with heaven’s kiss cannot be ignored, your mouth that condemns and captivates unravels my soul and the spell takes its’ effect. Your spell is the numbest, the cruelest, completely dulling until all I can fathom is your light. I am undone by the light. Oh light of mine, please release me. I want to be free of this pain. This lovely alluring pain that makes me aspire for more, more of your light, more of you. My soul is drenched and bathing within your light. The beautiful light in thine eyes that guides my soul unto paradise, unto you._”**

_ **Kylo Ren** _

Rey set the notebook down gently before placing it back in his bag exactly the way it was before, bending the page open where it had been. Her heart was beating rapidly and she was tempted to read the poem again, tempted to engrave it in her head and never forget the mesmerizing words she just read.

They were frightening to her, intense yet beautiful at the same time, so much so that her thoughts felt clouded and muggy. She stepped back, placing her hand on her chest as her breaths came out roughly like she was being suffocated by the light that was mentioned in his poem.

“Rey?” She heard Ben’s voice loud just outside the library’s doors.

She jumped so fast and dashed out of the secret study so quickly she thought she gave herself a heart attack. She rushed and waited for him at the bottom of the staircase like she had been there the whole time, trying to catch her breath, like a child running and trying to hide something.

He entered and walked towards her, eyeing her curiously. “Are you alight?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded casually unable to speak, too overwhelmed by the stanzas rotating on a loop in her head.

“Let’s go home?”

She nodded again, this time more relaxed and ignored the banging in her head from reading the poem by _Kylo Ren_. She suddenly hated herself for snooping.

***

That night she had a strange dream, not a scary one but not a good one either.

In her dream, she was watching Ben march in his pilot’s uniform, the most handsome soldier she had ever laid eyes on, with the other random soldiers trailing him. He turned to salute but when his eyes found hers, they softened and he smiled that Solo smirk at her that she felt it hit her chest.

He was leaving off to war, the war to end all wars again and she could have sworn she saw the shadows of Poe and Finn following him, like blurred images in the background.

Suddenly the other soldiers disappeared and all she could see or feel was him as he smiled at her one last time and turned to leave into the blinding light described in his poem. A rifle was slung on his back and in his hand was a paper, the poem he had written, that _Kylo Ren_ had written as he walked into the light never to be seen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so first off, I don't speak Italian, so sorry if the translation is off but when Threepio was talking to Ben earlier he was referring to Rey being "the young beautiful woman"- joining them for dinner. Also I hope Threepio isn't too corny, I tried to make him humorous and likable. Secondly, the draft age was initially 21 during the start of WW2 but as Threepio mentioned the draft age was really indeed lowered to 18 later on during the war. And lastly, the poem at the end was made up by myself. I don't claim to be a poet, I just make stuff up as I go which I hope isn't too cheesy or corny. Please please please comment below, I love to read feedback and get so excited to be engaged with readers. Thank you so much for reading, take care!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go to the movies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, so sorry for late update, it took me a week to edit this chapter. Secondly, please enjoy this chapter filled with fluff, angst, more fluff and then BAM violence. Please mind the tags, this chapter will not have a happy ending, it's an intense ending so please be aware before reading. I'll explain more after, thanks for reading!

Chapter 23

Spring 1941 cont’d

“Rey!...Rey!”

A high squeaky voice filled with excitement radiated off the school building’s wall and echoed until it hit her.

She turned towards the echo and saw none other than Rose, practically skipping to her.

A soft smile graced her lips, as she saw her friend approaching her fast, her black flippy curls bouncing in the process. She knew her friend must have some news for her, something exciting to tell her judging by the way she was glowing. And it must have been something good for her to be smiling from ear to ear.

“Rey,” she practically jumped in front of her, plopping herself right in front of her while clutching her books so much out of excitement. “You’ll never guess what happened,” Rose squeaked.

“What happened Rose?” She laughed lightly at the bounce in her step.

“Ok- are you ready?”

“Yes, what is it?” Rey became impatient, wanting to hear the exciting news and having a slight suspicion as to what it could be.

The excited girl gave a quick glance at her surroundings before she blurted out, “Finn asked me out on a date!” She shout whispered, looking around frantically to see if others had heard her. “He asked me to go to the theater with him this weekend, just the two of us. It’s gona be a movie date!” A set of giggles kicked in as she rocked back on her heels.

This came as no surprise to Rey. “You don’t say,” a knowing look crossed her face.

She had been in the known since last week maybe when she was visiting Finn, and Lando had all but lectured his adoptive son on how to ask her out. The conversation was quite entertaining considering that Lando had much previous experience with the ladies much to his wife’s dismay. “Man the hell up and ask her out already,” were Lando’s exact words during his lecture. This was followed by, “You need to show her a real man and not a coward.” It was all said in jest, yet Finn took every word to heart.

She had quietly laughed during this conversation and wondered if all men were cowards when it came to confessing relations. Rey hoped her friend would take his advice… and apparently he did.

It was true though, he did need to man up. The two teens obviously had it so bad for each other and it was time for Finn to make a move. She was more than glad that it had finally happened, I mean the two of them were practically holding hands now while walking in the school hallways.

If you’re holding hands like that, shouldn’t that be a sign that your together for crying out loud!

_“Just like you held Ben Solo’s hand under the table.”_

Rey slammed that thought shut immediately, ignoring it and acting like it never happened, that it was never in her head. A chill ran up her spine just thinking about it.

It had been a week since that dinner with the Solo-Organa family and she was still reeling in from the information that Leia had given her.

Either way, it wasn’t like that with Ben. They were just friends, friends who gave each other comfort and assurance. Friends who helped chase the dark thoughts away and helped you center yourself. Friends who laughed together and worked together, friends who read to each other and friends who cried together. Friends who made each other better…and did it together.

“_Stand together, die together_,” Rey remembered and thought about those lines from a poem that Ben had read to her the other day. They were sitting under a tree in the park on Chandrila street, it was a warm afternoon and they were trying to relax from an emotionally stressful day, when he began reading to her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes to focus just on his voice as he read aloud. His deep voice vibrated within her and she didn’t remember any of the other lines except those last four.

_Together, _it seemed like that word was describing their friendship now.

She pulled her thoughts back to the present and made sure to focus on what was currently in front of her. There was no time for distractions or day dreaming.

“I’m so excited for you Rose!” Rey beamed. “I’m sure you two will have a great time.” She was genuinely happy for her friend and it made her happy to see her happy. 

“Thank you, I am so happy!”

“Good, I’m glad he finally asked you out. It was about time,” she gushed hugging her friend quickly and then releasing her. “Any idea what film you’ll see this weekend?”

Rey turned to open her locker carrying on the conversation, when a book came sliding out and hit the floor. A small note was folded in it, sticking out of the middle pages. Someone had stashed it in her locker.

“I’m not sure, Finn didn’t say which one. Hmm maybe- oh _Fantasia _or maybe _Zorro, _I didn’t even think about which film to watch.” A sudden panic filled her cheeks.

“How about _Pride and Prejudice_?” Rey noted mindlessly as she sifted through the book that fell out of her locker to remove the note. She had recently discovered from Ben that the film existed and if she were going on a date to the cinema, which would probably never happen, it would be her first time and that would be her film of choice.

“Oh! I didn’t even think of that one. It’ll probably be easier to understand the movie since we had the book for a reading assignment.”

Rey wasn’t paying attention anymore as she read the note stashed in the book, 

** _Dear Rey, please read, you’ll see what I mean._ **

** _Ben_ **

After admiring his penmanship, like she always did, she finally examined the cover of the book. The _Iliad_ by Homer.

She sighed, recalling one of their previous discussions about whether Helen of Troy was a significant piece in the events of the Trojan War. Rey had flat out blamed her for the war while Ben argued that she was only a fraction of its’ cause. His argument was that the war would have started anyways without Helen’s infidelity and so it was better for her to be with the one she loved than to suffer in Sparta. She accused his argument on the pretense of being a romantic which resulted in them going back forth on the matter, not coming to a decisive conclusion.

The discussion or debate ended with him persuading her to read the _Iliad _again, although she preferred not to, to stand her case. But of course, he would provide her with the means to do so.

She shook her head, breathing out a whimsical smile as she clutched the book close before putting it in her bag. A dreamlike phase crossed her face as she could already hear the upcoming conversation they would have when she saw him again, her mind zoning out at the imaginary conversation in her head.

“Ugh, earth to Rey?” Rose waved a hand in front of her face, removing her from her stupor.

“Huh- Oh! I’m sorry I zoned out.”

“Yeah I can see that.”

“You were saying?” Rey pressed with a guilty look on her face.

Her friend just laughed, “We were discussing what film to watch this weekend. But it’s ok, your book seemed to distract you.”

“I’m sorry Rose, I was listening I promise.” She slammed her locker shut and began to walk with her friend to class. She felt bad for her previous lack of attention. 

“It’s ok, what book is it anyway?” She asked curiously.

“Oh, it’s on the Trojan War, nothing too fun.”

“The Trojan War? …Let me guess, Ben told you to read it,” it was more of statement than question and she didn’t skip a beat.

Rey’s face initially flushed but she gained control immediately.

“I know he’s the only one who could convince you to read such a thing. And since we’re not learning about it in class, this has to be his doing, considering you seemed surprised to find the book in your locker. I’d say he took all the time and effort to put it there himself.” Rose laughed softly, gauging her friend’s reaction to her analysis which judging by her face was spot on.

“You would be correct,” Rey shrugged like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just been read by her friend.

“Hmm, that’s what I figured. He’s got you reading books out of the palm of his hand you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing- it’s just…you two seem to be getting a lot closer these past couple weeks. Which to be truthfully honest is a bit surprising. I’ve known Ben Solo for a long time, more like observed, and he has always been an introvert. He only used to ever talk to Poe in school and was always too intimidating to approach. Quiet and moody and somewhat dark? Is how I used to describe him. But now, I feel like he has somewhat softened a bit somehow, you know what I mean?”

Rey thought about this. Of course she didn’t know what she meant, she’d only known Ben Solo a handful of months, what less than a year? Rose has known him her whole time here in Naboo, which is much longer than she has known him. When had the change taken place?

She remembers that he was exactly how Rose just described him initially. In fact, she absolutely hated him initially. A spoiled moody brat with a rich momma to coddle him is what she thought of him. Yet somehow, between the dancing, working on the falcon, driving, reading poetry, confessing truths, feeling his warmth…she had completely forgotten what he used to be like. It almost seemed like a completely different person.

The more she thought about it, the more she did know what Rose meant.

“I guess he has changed a bit,” Rey stated casually like it was nothing, yet Leia’s words to her in the garden kept playing on a loop in her head_. Did she really make him a better or at least an easier person to be around?_

“Hmph, I think it may have started ever since you came around, but we’ll save that conversation for another time,” the girl with the dark curls just smiled and wiggled her eyebrows at her.

“What!?” Rey boomed, her cheeks on the verge of blushing at her friend’s absurd insinuation, it was sounding similar to the mayor’s. 

Rose was about to open her mouth again when the boys came up rushing next to them to head to class. The hallways were suddenly loud and packed with students.

The conversation was dropped, yet Rey could still feel her friend’s eyes on her as Ben began to probe if she received the locker gift.

***

“Okay! Give her some gas!” Rey shouted from the ground as Ben attempted to fire up the Falcon’s engine. She stood back giving him a wide birth to start the old classic plane.

Today was the day where they would attempt to fly the Falcon…or at least get her going. The morning air was chill, yet still refreshing since they were worked up from slaving over the engine for over an hour.

Ben attempted to fire up the engine again and switched on the propellers.

A bolt of excitement rushed through her skin as she saw the thin blades begin to slowly move on the airplane. Seconds later her excitement deflated when a loud popping sound went off and the engine blew out. A series of popping snapping sounds followed until a huge dark cloud of dust puffed out of the plane’s bowels.

The Falcon went completely silent.

She rushed up to the small window where the captain’s seat was, looking for his face in the dark cloudiness. “Ben, are you alright?” She tried not to panic as no response came or no movement could be seen inside.

“I’m fine,” he boomed from behind her.

“Ahh!” She jumped at his sudden presence expecting him to be in the plane still. “Christ you scared me!”

“Sorry,” he shrugged with a guilty look. “I had to jump out of there quick, didn’t want to get rained on by the smoke.”

“You could have at least said something- and you most certainly failed at that,” she reached up to wipe off a small patch of black smoke that had landed on the tip of his nose. She then moved her hands towards his cheeks which were dusty too but stopped herself last second.

He blushed at the gentle tap of her fingertips, grateful that the smoke hid his reddening face.

She stood back after handing him a rag to wipe down. “Well I guess we tried right.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out and that’s when she saw it, the black stains littering his teeth from the smoke. His front teeth were completely blackened.

A burst of giggles escaped her suddenly as she saw the piano key design his teeth had taken on.

“What?” He asked confused, not knowing why she had suddenly started laughing at him.

Another fit of giggles escaped her with a tiny snort to top it off. The image of his teeth too hilarious to contain herself.

“What’s so funny?” He smiled widely at her absurd behavior which resulted in an even clearer view of his stained teeth.

She laughed _again_, this time harder while shaking her head. Sensing his impatience, she mustered up the courage to blurt out, “Your teeth!”

“What? What do you mean?” He then closed his mouth completely and that’s when he tasted it, the smoke that dusted his pearly whites tasted bitter. He rushed over to the Falcon’s window and saw his own reflection. Not only was his face covered but his teeth were stained in the front too.

Rey couldn’t contain herself even though she now felt bad.

“Oh I get it, you think this is funny,” his voice turned predatory yet somewhat playful. He wiped his face down and spit out the smoke he licked off his teeth, crinkling his nose at the taste.

“No I just-” she tried to explain, but the gleam in his eyes cut her off. Something about the look on his face made her shiver.

“If I have to look like this,” he stalked towards her. “Then you do too!” He rushed her quickly and attempted to forcefully rub the soiled smoke-filled rag on her face.

“No!” She yelped playfully, as she fought him off, dreading the rag touching her face.

She then took off running away from him as he chased her.

“Ben stop!” She hollered at him excitedly before giggles escaped her lips as he chased her around the Falcon. She only made it around the old plane once when his much longer legs eventually caught up to her. God his long legs!

He snatched her from behind, wrapping his long arms around her thin waist and lifted her into the air, spinning her around as she screamed out in terror.

“You nerf herder!” She laughed out as he spun her twice before setting her down and turning her quickly to powder the tip of her nose with the dirty rag.

“There,” he gave her a goofy grin, proudly displaying his teeth now.

She turned to look at her reflection in the Falcon’s window and saw a small black patch on the tip of her nose. It matched the one he wore on his perfectly.

“Stand together, die together,” he quoted as he lowered his head to hers and brought the tips of their noses to the same level.

The tips of their blackened noses were mere inches from touching when he gave her the biggest smile and she returned it, crinkling her nose in the process. It was such a childish act, yet she could resist him or his smile.

After a moment, he turned and left to retrieve his bag with the waters they had brought. Rey felt the breath being sucked right out of her as his nose left hers, being up close to his face made her speechless for some odd reason.

He tossed her a canteen and they both cleaned up until they were refreshed, the smoke cleared from their faces.

“It’s not fair you know, you’re much taller than me,” she huffed as she sniffed her nose, attempting to clear out the smoke there.

“Hmm, perhaps you shouldn’t laugh at people who are taller than you,” he teased.

“Dully noted Mr. long legs,” she snorted.

He smiled at that, “I guess that would make you Miss short legs wouldn’t it.”

She scoffed at him as she gathered her belongings, she didn’t like being made to feel small, yet it was impossible not to when she was near him.

“I think we’re done with the Falcon for today, I don’t feel like fixing up the mess we caused. It’s probably like a black tornado in there.” She gave the poor plane a long look, wishing that they had been successful in getting her going.

“She’ll be alright,” he reassured her. “I’ll just leave the boarding ramp open, let some air clear out the smoke until we come back.”

“Do you really think we’ll get her going?” Rey asked as she dusted off some smoke from the plane’s window.

“Eventually, although I’m not sure how long it’s gona take. Gota get the engine to run without spewing out black dust. Maybe she just needs a few more weeks work.”

“You could say that again.”

They both gazed at the plane, admiring her beauty yet unsure if they would actually be able to fly her again one day.

“Hmph, come on Miss short legs,” Ben eventually cut in. “It’s time to go. And if you come nicely, I’ll let you drive.” He grinned at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

She laughed breathlessly, “Challenge accepted Mr. long legs.” She then snatched the dangling truck keys from his fingers and headed towards the old beauty waiting outside.

Rey was slowly getting better at driving. The more she practiced, the better she got and Ben was persistent that she constantly take over the wheel whenever possible.

He let her drive all the way into town, guiding her when necessary and giving her reassurance whenever she forgot to press the clutch. She stopped at the first park they drove up to, not wanting to drive near pedestrians, she wasn’t ready for that step yet but eventually she would be.

Rey let him take over the wheel as they drove into the downtown plaza. Naboo was currently blooming, the trees were full and flowers were sprouting everywhere. Springtime seemed to make the city glow somehow and the people walking around town all seemed extra lively this weekend, perhaps enjoying the beauty of the city. The sun was perfect and the greenery was heavenly, there was so much green and life in this town, it completely contrasted Jakku, much to her amusement.

How could one place be so green and full of life, while another dead and dry. It always perplexed her thinking about such things.

As they were driving slowly with the windows down, she admired the busy sidewalks and businesses. They were colorful and full of life with people constantly moving about.

They drove up to a street corner when Rey noticed a pretty pink and white sign that caught her attention. The sign was an advertisement for one of the shops in the plaza. It advertised an ice cream parlor that was just up the block.

When they finally drove up to the shop, she noted how the small building was painted pink and blue with bright colors on the inside. The lively parlor had dozens of colorful flowers sitting on the window sill and she could see the kids hopping out of the shop with a cone in their hand, excited to eat their ice cream.

They looked so happy and so did their parents, as they held their cones too. Rey never had ice cream before in her entire life, and she wanted some now more than ever as she gazed towards the shop. It looked so enticing, she wished she had the change to buy a cone. But that wasn’t going to happen.

It made her think about back home, when she had first seen ice cream or heard of it. She remembered seeing some of the wealthier kids back home with their fancy tricycles and toys, licking a pretty ice cream cone as they played during a hot day. She used to practically drool over them, watching them eat their melting ice cream while she dug through the trash looking for something to scavenge for her next meal.

There was one time where a little girl had dropped her untouched cone on the ground and her mother told her to leave it when she tried to pick it back up. She remembers seeing the mother drag her daughter annoyingly back into the store to buy a new one and exiting with an even bigger cone. Rey was almost tempted to snatch up the cone from the ground and eat it herself, but stopped before she could act on her thoughts. These were the only memories she had of ice cream.

But she learned quickly that ice cream wasn’t a necessity like regular food, and so she could never waste her money or rations on such a luxury.

Rey was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt the truck stop abruptly on the sidewalk, across the street from the ice cream parlor.

“Where are you going?” She asked him as he started opening the driver’s side door.

“You mean where are ‘we’ going. ‘We’ are going to get some ice cream.”

“What? Really!”

“Yes, Rey c’mon.”

“But I don’t have enough for ice-”

“Don’t worry about it, please just come,” his eyes softened. “I saw you staring at the parlor for two minutes straight. I know you want some,” his smile was gentle, with no pity behind it.

“Was it that obvious?”

“Just get off the truck-please.” Ben insisted despite the wariness in her eyes.

She hated when he begged her for stuff like this, but she couldn’t resist his “pleases.” He was always too convincing, and she knew deep down she couldn’t resist those soft eyes of his.

“Fine, but I’ll buy yours if you buy mine.”

“That makes no difference than you buying your own.”

“It does to me,” she opened her door and stood by him on the sidewalk. She couldn’t believe that she actually agreed to burn money on ice cream, on any given day that would have been an absolute no.

“Always so stubborn-”

“And always too generous.”

He sighed and smiled at that, “C’mon my lady, shall we.” He propped his arm up for her to hold onto as they crossed the busy street. She gently laid her hand on his arm as he guided her across.

“I’ll have the strawberry,” Rey pointed to the pink tub filled with fresh strawberries laid across the top. There was a bounce to her step that she couldn’t contain, an expectant sugar rush she couldn’t wait to taste, as the storekeeper piled on her ice cream cone.

“Any toppings Miss?”

“Toppings?”

“You can put stuff on top, like whipped cream or peanuts,” Ben whispered to her as she eyed the list.

“Oh, I’ll have…chocolate fudge!” She could never resist chocolate.

“Excellent choice madam.”

A big smile crossed her face, she was conflicted between choosing strawberry or chocolate ice cream but now she found a compromise with both.

“I’ll have a chocolate cone with peanuts,” Ben’s deep voice boomed beside her as she grabbed her cone from over the counter.”

“That’ll be 10 cents for both,” the owner gave them a soft smile, as they reached for their change.

Rey pulled out 5 pennies while Ben pulled out a nickel and set it all on the counter.

“Perfect! You two kids enjoy the rest of your date now,” the owner winked at them as they both blushed furiously.

“Oh-um we’re not um…” Rey’s voice trailed off, she was trying to say it wasn’t a date, but the words never formed.

“Uh- let’s go Rey, our ice cream’s gona melt soon,” Ben led her out quickly before they would both be blushing embarrassingly to the point where it was uncomfortable. He didn’t want it to be awkward.

Once outside, the air felt more relaxed, and their ice cream cones suddenly became more entertaining than dwelling on the owner’s farewell to them.

“Mmmm!” Rey groaned as she bit into her ice cream only to shiver and squint her face sharply. The cold hurt her front teeth and she had to learn the hard way not to bite into ice cream so quickly.

“Gota be careful biting, the front teeth can be sensitive. It’s better if you lick,” he droned on as he licked the peanuts off his cone. 

“Yeah, I think I learned that now,” she shuddered shaking off the sensitive feeling in her teeth. “But the strawberry is delicious! Who knew that ice cream could taste so good.”

“Is this your first time eating it?”

“Yep, and it won’t be my last.” She smiled up at him as she took another lick from her cone. Ben’s face reddened at the action and he had to look away, afraid that she would notice his stare.

Watching her eating ice cream for the first time was quite the adorable sight to him…

They walked through the busy downtown area in companionable silence, enjoying the warm air, each eating their cones, although she was much faster in finishing it then him. She was always faster at eating then him, it came as an instinct, probably from her long years of near starvation. If you didn’t eat food quick enough, it would disappear and never come back.

“Rey?” Ben broke their companionable silence with his rich deep voice. “Can I ask you something?”

“Huh, what is it?” His question caught her off guard as she was currently lost in eating her cone. She saw him fidget and squeeze his cone a little nervously, almost as if he were going to crush it accidentally.

“You don’t have to answer this but…what are you planning on doing after we graduate high school?” His voice was hesitant almost fearful, like he was afraid of her response. “It’s only a few months from now.”

“Oh, I-I never thought about it.” It was true, she never thought about it because she didn’t have a plan. She figured this question would eventually come up, considering it was all her friends were currently talking about.

Rose was of course going to college, either for nursing or something medically related, she wasn’t quite sure yet. Her parents were pressuring her towards medicine, yet she still felt lost on the matter.

Finn was being sent by his adopted parents to the university, just like his older sister. And she could only guess correctly that the mayor’s sons would be off to college no doubt. With that much wealth and political prestige she had no doubt in her mind that Ben and Poe would join Finn at the university. They all had their futures set except her.

She had been smart in ignoring the question of what she would do after, playing it off and letting her friends babble on about their futures. Luckily, no one had flat out asked her, until now. And it would be Ben of all people.

But the truth is, she didn’t actually have a plan, only a goal. Her only goal in life was to escape Plutt and attempt to return home. But she couldn’t do that because she wasn’t an adult yet. If she was, she would’ve left Plutt, left Naboo a lot sooner, but since her birthday was in the summer, that meant she couldn’t legally be free until after she graduated. If her birthday was before graduation, she would’ve been gone, not even caring to finish high school, she didn’t even have a plan to graduate.

Overall she didn’t care if she completed high school or not, it wouldn’t do her any good anyways, despite being at the top of her class. Her goal was to turn 18 and escape Plutt’s god forsaken grasp for good.

She would leave him and return to Jakku, to wait for her parents to return. That was her one and only goal in life, everything else was insignificant, didn’t matter.

Except maybe her friends and Ben…

How could she leave him, the thought made her throat constrict. She would miss him.

Sensing that he would think her plan was absurd, she only gave him a fraction of the truth. “I guess I’m going home to Jakku.”

“Jakku?”

“Yes, Jakku.”

“But Rey, there’s war raging over there. How could you possibly go back?” His response was shocked almost unbelievable that that was her plan. She expected this kind of response.

“I belong in Jakku, I don’t belong anywhere else.”

“So you belong in a warzone?” He shot back at her, giving her an exasperated sigh.

“It won’t always be a warzone,” she remarked defensively.

“True, but it will still be one when graduation is over and for god knows how long thereafter.”

She winced at his remark, not wanting to hear anything that would contradict her plan, contradict her going home…contradict her going back to her parents. It was bad enough that they had to leave Jakku in the first place, it was Plutt’s fault that they had to flee and he dragged her all the way into another country. Forcing her to leave her home, the only good thing that came out of their escape was that they completely missed the war bombings by mere months.

But to Rey, staying in a war zone would have been better than being pushed around by Plutt like some rag doll. Sure, she would have been there during the attacks, but at least she would be home and away from him.

Dying in the middle of a war would have been better than surviving with Plutt these past couple months.

“Thanks for the reminder,” she shot back, getting irritated with him much quicker than she expected.

“It’s not a reminder Rey, it’s a reality.”

“I know what reality is- unlike you,” when had she turned so defensive.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He didn’t hide the subtle anger in his voice.

“Well- take a look around,” she gestured to the beautiful city they were standing in.

“Everything in this town is not drenched in reality, it’s the complete opposite. This place is beautiful, green, devoid of any homeless people or beggars, mostly everyone here has a nice house and fancy cars. This place is literally unrealistic especially compared to other parts of the world. And _you_ grew up in this and _you_ were raised in this town. This town knows _nothing_ about the harsh reality of war and poverty. How could you possibly understand reality when you were practically raised in paradise.”

His eyes widened taking on a hard edge. “What, so you think I’m some ignorant spoiled brat who doesn’t know what the world is really like?” His voice could be scary when it was threatening, and she saw the hardness taking over his soft features turning them to stone.

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you insinuated it. Right, that I’m some brat who grew up with wealth and ran through the plush gardens of his family’s mansion.”

“That’s not-”

“It is too Rey, you didn’t have to flat out say it. And if that’s what you really think of me, then you know nothing about me or my life,” he growled as he shoved the rest of his melted cone into the trash and strode away from her. She could see the hurt etched between his eyes.

“Ben, please!” She caught up to him, forcing him to stop as she stood in front of him.

His eyes didn’t look at her and she could see the anger lying subtlety there.

“Ben I’m sorry, the truth is…I don’t have a plan, ok. I just need to get home. And even if the war is raging, I will find a way.”

He still didn’t look at her, but he eventually pressed his lips into a thin line. She saw the sadness swift through his face replaced by supposed understanding. She could tell he still wanted to hopelessly argue, but he dropped it instead. “Ok Rey…if that’s what you want…I’m sorry.”

Something in his voice made a pit drop in her stomach. His tone was so pitiful and depressing, so much so that she couldn’t look up at him anymore.

Did he not want her to leave?

Was that the source of his miserable expression, of his anger?

She cleared her throat, attempting to bring the conversation out of the dark cloud it had somehow become shrouded in. “What about you Ben, I’m sure you have a plan right?” She finally looked back up at him with a gleam in her eyes, pleading with him to respond.

“College actually, but I’m sure you already deduced that.” The hurt was laced in his words and it was visibly obvious on his face.

“Oh Ben,” not being able to take his long face any longer, she reached her small hand up to cup his cheek but froze before her hand could land.

“_No, it can’t be_,” she thought to herself as she saw the old rusted familiar truck parked down the street. It was parked on the busy sidewalk, sitting there like an obvious needle in a haystack. And inside the driver’s seat was Unkar Plutt, watching her with the window rolled down.

He had an ice cream cone of his own in his hand which he was eating as he eyed her like a hawk circling prey. His eyes reminded her of a snake, of the scary things you see in the middle of the night during nightmares. 

Was he spying on her?

Something about the gleam in his eyes told her that she was correct. A chill ran up her spine as she backed away from Ben. Fear immediately taking over her, to the point where her breathing sped up quickly. She wasn’t afraid so much for herself, but for the boy in front of her. Plutt’s eyes were circling Ben too, like he was some sort of target.

Her conversation with Ben was completely forgotten, replaced by a fear that she thought would consume her.

“Rey?” Ben’s eyes finally landed on her and he gave her a quizzical look before recognizing the alarm in them. “Rey-what’s wrong?” his voice turned urgent, completely forgetting the argument they just had.

She backed away further, “We need to leave now.” The seriousness to her tone made his worry increase tenfold. She didn’t look at him but kept her eyes on the truck.

“What? Why?” He didn’t skip a beat, the visible stress on her face knocking him out short.

She shook her head, “We need to leave _now_.” Her voice jumped and quivered, almost like a child praying before receiving punishment for something they did.

Ben in his alarm turned to see what her line of sight was following. It took him a second to register what or who he was looking at, until he realized he locked eyes with the demon sitting in the truck down the street.

He initially flinched, feeling a strong sense of fear wash over him as he eyed the monster in the truck. His eyes were menacing, animal like, he recognized the predatory look. He had seen it before many times on his old cruel mentor, when he was ready to strike. For some reason he could literally feel the physical scars left on his body by Snoke, as if they were fresh, just by locking eyes with the man in the truck. The pain from them reminded him of how helpless he was then and how helpless he felt now. The memory of this type of look was enough to destabilize him. Ben internally stiffened, as understanding dawned on him.

“Ben,” Rey’s voice came out in a choked whisper before she grabbed his hand and started dashing through the crowds, running away.

He followed her, not letting her hand slip out of his. They started sprinting, grateful for the weekend crowd of town’s people. They didn’t stop as they moved down the sidewalk, praying that the truck hadn’t started following them. Looking for a building or street corner that they could escape to, they swept through the crowds.

Rey didn’t look behind her and neither did Ben. Their fight or flight response kicked in and right now all that mattered was their safety, _Ben’s_ safety. She didn’t want to think of what Plutt would do to him, if he found them. While she knew Ben could probably physically fight him off, stand his own ground, the boy was a tall giant for crying out loud, she knew Plutt always kept weapons stashed in the folds of weight. A knife, a pistol, he was capable of anything and the thought of Ben near him again almost made her lungs collapse.

She knew Ben wouldn’t hesitate to fight him, especially if it was to protect her. It would turn into utter chaos and she suddenly felt a visceral sense of protection over Ben, overwhelm her. She felt like a lioness attempting to protect its’ own, attempting to fight for him if she had to.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she was looking for somewhere they could hide, somewhere they could escape. Her eyes roamed everywhere but had no idea where to go. She felt lost in a daze, the crowd around her making her feel dizzy and anxious.

Ben sensed her visible anxiety and eventually took over, leading her now. She followed his long steps, as he gripped her hand tighter. He seemed to know the area much better than she did, considering this was his hometown. 

He rushed her down a back alley quickly that led into another busy block of shops and restaurants. They stopped just before the edge of the alley, staying secluded in the shadows for a few short minutes so they could catch their breath.

Once they caught their breaths, Ben peeked his head out onto the busy block, noting that the coast was clear. Plutt was nowhere to be seen. He then pulled her out of the darkness and headed straight for the giant building in front of them with the bright posters and signs. It was the nearest building in sight that could shield them.

The large building was old but stylish, with a giant metal sign hanging over the entrance. It stretched over the entire entrance, with black and white lettering stretched across. As she eyed the bright posters, some humorous and others serious, she realized he was dragging her into the cinema. A car nearby honked at them as they didn’t use the crosswalk in their frantic trek, they had practically dashed through traffic. But Rey didn’t care, they needed to keep moving.

They jumped through the rotating doors of the cinema so quickly that the ticket man didn’t even notice they hadn’t paid. It was a busy afternoon, with people constantly moving in and out.

Once inside they discreetly moved off to the side of the atrium, away from the crowds. He finally released her hand and instead placed his hands on either side of her face.

Rey felt herself shaking, trying to shake off the adrenaline rush, trying to shake off the memory of Plutt’s eyes on her.

His hands cradled her head gently, like she was the most precious object in the world. “Are you okay?” He breathed out, as he rubbed his thumbs over her freckles, which were more prominent now as a small sweat glistened on her cheeks. She felt the tremble in his voice and the way his words shook with concern. Unable to speak, she nodded her head and prayed to god her cheeks weren’t blushing from his contact. His large hands practically scaled her whole head and she didn’t want him to move.

The fear from escaping Plutt was suddenly replaced by a different kind of fear. The fear of not being able to stop herself from turning her head and kissing the inside of his palm.

It would be so easy and her lips ached, it was like they had a mind of their own. Instead of acting on her impulses, she closed her eyes and took peace in his warmth. The moment hung between them and she could feel his forehead resting lightly against hers. She wasn’t even sure when he had brought their heads together, but it didn’t matter, all she wanted to do was just feel him. She didn’t dare open her eyes, too afraid of what she would do or see if she did.

They stayed like that for a long moment, just breathing, feeling their breaths bounce off each other, knowing that they were both alive and safe. She felt herself being centered just by being in his presence.

“Stand together,” she eventually breathed out, keeping her eyes shut. A solemn vow escaping her soul that she couldn’t contain.

“Die together,” he breathed back to her instantly, pressing his forehead a little more urgently to hers.

She had no idea where the urge to quote those words had come from. But he had followed her anyway, their minds slowly becoming wired as one, two that are one.

Maybe it was because they had just escaped danger _together_ that the quote burst from her lips.

Either way, it felt like they had just made some sort of sacred vow to one another. A vow that couldn’t be broken, no matter how far across the universe their lives would take them. They would always be together, no matter the danger, no matter the circumstance, no matter the distance.

They stayed with their foreheads glued to each other, forgetting the rest of the world until a loud voice interrupted them.

“Tickets! Tickets sir! You youngsters better show them up quick!” The ticket man dressed in uniform eventually confronted them. Observing the scene, and not seeing the paper tickets in hand, the worker tapped his foot annoyingly waiting for the two teens to respond.

Rey slowly opened her eyes and noted how close Ben’s face was to hers, he still had his eyes closed and she could feel his long lashes flutter against her.

Instead of jumping away from Rey by the sudden intrusion, Ben slowly slid his hands away from her face and turned to the man who was about to throw them out of the theater if they didn’t act quick.

“It appears I lost our tickets sir. Please let me buy a new pair.” Ben’s voice was smooth, convincing and didn’t skip a beat. You wouldn’t be able to tell that he was just running for his life a few minutes prior. He was good at playing things off quickly, acting like everything was fine when it really wasn’t.

“Lost your tickets huh?” The grumpy ticket man came closer but stopped short once he recognized the young man, his face changing completely. “Well if it isn’t young Solo!” He bellowed and came over to roughly pat him on the back. He seemed excited to see him.

“And here I thought you were a bunch of young teenagers just trying to pull the wool over my eyes. We’ve been having a bunch of high schoolers sneaking into the cinema lately for a free show. Been driving the manager nuts, so they put me up for guard duty.”

“Then they picked the right man,” Ben shot him a grin, completely easing the tension out of the situation. Why was he so good at convincing people, it drove her nuts.

“How’s the family Robert?”

“Oh they’re good, my boys are off to college now, so I gota work extra shifts at this fun house,” he waved his hand at the building they were standing in.

“Any who, you lost your tickets Benji?”

Ben cringed at the sound of his childhood nickname that Poe had unceremoniously given him when they first met. But given the circumstances, he didn’t feel it was appropriate to correct the older man. They had just snuck into the theater.

“Oh yeah- we must have dropped them somewhere, probably in the bathroom or atrium somewhere,” he gestured nervously to the floor littered with popcorn and soda stains.

“Oh no worries, I’ll get you youngsters a new set. What movie were you going to see?”

“Umm-”

“_Pride and Prejudice_,” Rey blurted out, earning her a surprised look from Ben who was clearly lost. He hadn’t expected her to speak in front of him.

“Really,” the man named Robert placed his hands on his hips. “The last showing for _Pride and Prejudice_ just ended. …You kids are late.”

Ben stiffened, wondering if he would be able to play it off. “Oh, I thought the showing was at 2pm.”

“Nope it was at noon, you just missed it. But don’t worry I’ll let you guys catch another film. What looks go to yah?” Robert pointed to the sign that was brightly lit up on the wall with the list of films showing. “Or would the young lady like to pick,” he winked.

Rey felt a strong sense of disappointment for missing the last showing of _Pride and Prejudice_. But now wasn’t the time to be picky, she had to pick something and pick something fast.

“Uhhh, I’m not sure.” Rey didn’t recognize any of the films listed, she had never been to a theater before in her life. She hesitated before shrugging and looking to Ben for help.

“What’s the next showing for _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_?” Ben asked casually like he knew what he was doing.

“The last showing starts in 20 minutes. But that isn’t really romantic enough for you two kids is it? And wouldn’t you prefer something more recent?”

Both Ben and Rey blushed at the man’s implication.

“Oh-we’re not, umm were not,” Ben fumbled with his words just like she had previously in the ice cream parlor.

“_Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ sounds wonderful,” she saved him from fumbling and put on a bright smile, even though she didn’t feel confident.

“Ok, Walt Disney it is! It’s a classic even though it’s been released for a while now. Just wait here a sec while I grab your tickets.”

As Robert walked away to the ticket booth, Rey leaned towards Ben and whispered, “I feel terrible, we didn’t even buy movie tickets.”

“I know,” he whispered back. “I’m gona tip him largely for helping us out.”

Now she felt bad, “But I want to help too, but…I can’t afford a ticket.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“How can I not, when you always insist on paying for everything. I can pay too you know…even if I can’t afford it,” she huffed out, getting annoyed with him and letting her pride get the best of her.

“Relax, I’ve known him and his family since I was a kid. I went to school with his daughter who had a crush on me all the way into the end of middle school. She was an annoying little thing.”

“Hey,” she slapped his shoulder. “That’s not very nice.”

“Trust me you didn’t know her.”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“Robert’s very generous, he would never accept money from a lady and I’ve known him long enough to know that he trusts me and my family. So don’t do anything brash.”

“Anything brash?” she muttered under her breath.

“You know what I mean,” he muttered back.

“Annnnd here you go,” the older man returned and handed them their tickets. “You two hurry along now, make sure to stop at the concession stand to pick up some popcorn and drinks.”

“Uh, Robert,” Ben reached into his pant pocket before the man could leave and pulled out a dollar bill. “Here for helping us out,” he stretched out his hand with the dollar bill.

“Woah there young Solo! That’s way too much, that’s the price of four tickets.”

Four tickets, geez, perhaps they should’ve invited Poe or Finn and Rose to join them for how much Ben was forking out. Finn and Rose…

_Finn and Rose_! Today was supposed to be their date here, how could she forget. She hoped they didn’t run into them, she didn’t want to disrupt their special day. She couldn’t recall if Rose said if they were coming in the afternoon or evening. She was pretty sure it was in the evening, considering it’s all her and Rose talked about the entire week, you would think she would remember.

“Please, as a token for helping us out, I insist you take it. We feel bad about not buying tickets for the different film we’re about to watch. Don’t want the wrong studio company gaining profit now do we.” Ben’s voice was so convincing, maybe he would make a good lawyer some day or maybe a shop owner who’s good at convincing people to buy things. He really knew how to work with people when necessary, other than that he could be quite introverted. It surprised her how much he can change within seconds.

“Oh all right. I’ll let Don at the concession stand know so he can hook you up with some free snacks.” He kindly took the dollar bill from Ben and pointed to the stands. “Tell him I said it’s on the house. And enjoy the rest of your date kiddos.” He waved at them as he walked back towards the entrance booth to sell more tickets, leaving the two teens behind. 

“Wait!” Rey ran back up to him before he could hit his booth, a thought popping into her head. “I have a small favor to ask…some friends of mine are coming here on a date later. Perhaps you could use the price of the other two tickets on them. Just tell them it’s on the house.”

“Sure thing kid,” he smiled. “What are their names?”

“Uh-Finn and Rose.”

“Finn and Rose,” he repeated slowly. “Ok my lady you got it,” he nodded at her kindly.

“But oh! Don’t tell um it was me or us who got their tickets.” She gestured towards her and Ben.

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded his head as he walked back to his booth to resume his job.

Rey and Ben both finally took a deep long breath, finally free of any danger. Without Plutt or the thought of getting thrown out of the cinema hanging over them, Rey finally was able to digest what just happened.

Plutt was spying on her, this much she knew. But why? She had no idea, and they memory of his eyes on her and Ben made a bile rise in throat that made her want to vomit. She started turning pale the longer her thoughts wandered. And what about her conversation with Ben about leaving back home, that hadn’t gone well either. She was starting to feel terrible for causing such stress on both of them.

“Rey,” Ben reached for her hand and took it in his, sensing her weary thoughts. “It’s ok, we’re going to be alright. He can’t reach us now, I won’t let him.” Something about the seriousness in his voice made it sound like a vow, like he would never let anything happen to her. She’s not sure how long that would last…

“I know, I’m so sorry for everything,” she breathed out still overcome by her raging emotions. She still felt bad for arguing with him, but if they hadn’t stopped to argue, she never would’ve noticed Plutt’s truck.

“Hey, no apologizing ok, let’s just enjoy the movie and kill some time here.” His warm voice was deep and reassuring, letting her know that everything was ok.

She nodded as he released her hand to move towards the concession stands. “I’ll grab some snacks while you freshen up. I’ll even get you a Dr. Pepper,” he winked at her before jogging over to the booths.

She smiled after him and decided a bathroom break may not be so bad right now. How could he be so caring and attentive after the fight they just had, she had insulted him even though she hadn’t meant to. And the conversation hadn’t been left on a good note, but either way they had both apologized to each other and she figured that was ok, for now.

After washing her hands and face, she took a long look at herself in the mirror. Letting the water dry from her face, she couldn’t help but stare back at her reflection.

After examining for a few seconds, she concluded that she looked terrible. Her eyes were sunken in from not sleeping, she was still a bit sweaty and her hair was a knotted hot mess. The intensity of escaping Plutt was clear on her face and body.

The longer she stared the more she felt so dull and pale, devoid of any color on her cheeks and forehead. Her face was plain, her body was plain, she was plain.

She slightly glanced in the mirror at the other girls and women next to her freshening up, hearing their light chatter echo around her. As she watched them, she concluded that they were very pretty, especially compared to herself.

Their hair was lush and beautiful, with perfect curls pinned up in different places. The lip stick and powder they wore highlighted their faces brightly, accentuating their beauty. Their dresses were lovely and they matched their shoes and stockings perfectly.

Most of all their body shapes were glorious and their breasts were perfectly shaped, filling out their dresses nicely. They looked like real women, elegant women with a sense of purpose. And their nails were perfectly trimmed and polished unlike hers which were broken and stained with grease.

Rey suddenly looked down at her own tattered dress, more like a mixture of wraps and winced. Her eyes then found her own breasts which were hardly there and the absent shape of her hips made her feel like a skeleton.

_When had she ever cared about her own breasts or hips?_

Maybe she needed to eat more…

If she weren’t wearing a dress right now, she felt she could easily be mistaken for a boy. A lanky boy with no shape what-so-ever, dull and completely wasted.

The other girls in the bathroom glanced at her quickly as they powdered their cheeks. Some turned their noses up at her, while others gave her surprised looks, some looked at her in pity and others like “poor thing”.

Some of them she recognized from school, but they were the girls who hardly paid any attention to her.

Most girls didn’t pay any attention to her at all, the only girl who did was Rose.

Maybe they ignored her because they didn’t see her as competition for attention. Most girls at Jedi High were in competition to see who was the prettiest or who could get the most handsome boy in school. But since she was out of the equation, they ignored her completely, leaving her well enough alone which she was grateful for.

There was however this confusion at the winter dance when Paige had practically transformed her into a woman for the day. She remembered the day of the dance clearly, when their jaws had practically dropped to see her transformation. It was the only day that Rey had ever felt “girly” or like a woman. But even then, the spell nor the surprise from the transformation lasted. She went back to school looking plain and the girls completely ignored her again.

She wasn’t complaining though, the less attention the better.

But now, for some reason it hurt to see how she compared herself to the other girls in the bathroom. She was feeling self-conscious and started fidgeting with her dress to make it appear more fitting. She pulled her hair down out of its’ buns, in an attempt to appear more feminine she thought and tied a small half ponytail to keep the hair out of her face. Maybe if she fixed her hair, wore it down, she would look nicer. She kept picking and probing at herself until she finally sighed out in frustration. 

“_Why am I doing this_? _It doesn’t matter_,” she thought to herself as she straightened out. “It’s all silly anyways,” she muttered lowly under her breath, “It’s just Ben out there.”

Ben…was he the reason she was trying to fix herself? _Did she fix her appearance for him_?

These questions gave Rey a headache until she remembered the dinner at his house when she was trying to fix herself up in the china cabinet’s reflection, embarrassed by her appearance.

He had told her to stop and that she was fine just the way she was. And she concluded he was right, she is fine just the way she is, even if she does look like a dirty mop next to him.

She still couldn’t comprehend why someone like Ben would want to even be seen with her. Perhaps he felt sorry for her, perhaps she was a charity case to him, something to pity.

_“No, Ben wouldn’t do that_,” it was the only thought in her head that made sense. He wasn’t friends with her out of pity and this much she knew.

She eventually gained the courage to leave the restroom, tired of dealing with her evolving emotions on her appearance and saw Ben waiting for her right outside. He had two drinks in his hands and two popcorns which she wondered how he was juggling, which somehow he was, probably thanks to his large hands.

“Hey I-” he was cut off short by her slight change in appearance, sucking in a deep breath, as he took her in.

Her eyebrows raised a bit, giving him a confused look as he gazed deeply at her. She hadn’t changed much, except wash her face and put her hair down. Yet he was staring at her like the sun was orbiting her. Why did he do that sometimes?

“Hey,” she croaked back, her throat a little more anxious for her Dr. Pepper now.

He was still rendered speechless, staring at her face and then her hair. She tugged on it nervously as she followed his eyes, “It was kinda hot and messy, so I just put it down. I don’t know, it looks stupid anyway.”

“_Pulchra_,” he breathed out, like he was in a daze.

“Huh?”

He shook his head and swallowed thickly, bringing his head back down from wherever it had flown up to. “Here,” he handed her the bottle of Dr. Pepper and her bag of popcorn a little too roughly, like he was in a hurry.

“Thanks, …what does _pulchra_ mean?”

“Nothing,” he blurted a little too quickly. “It’s, nothing. Just something you have to look up.”

“It’s Latin isn’t it?”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “You jerk, you can’t mumble things to my face that I can’t understand.”

“It’s not bad.”

“Then what is it?”

“A writer never tells,” he gulped.

She groaned and rolled her eyes, “Fine but I’m gona call you things in French and then not tell you what I said.”

“I look forward to it.”

For once she hated his cheeky side, even if she could sense the nervousness behind it. 

They walked to their theater room and entered through the double doors. Once inside, Rey noted it was dark, very dim lighting and there were various people and children scattered about. The theater room was large and she saw a cartoon playing lowly on the giant screen stretched out across the stage.

“I thought the movie wasn’t supposed to start yet? Are we late?” She seemed thoroughly disappointed if this was the case. This was her very first time in the cinema and she was already missing her first film.

Ben chuckled, “No Rey, the movie hasn’t started yet. They always play short cartoons by Walt Disney before his films start.”

“Oh,” she felt stupid now.

He smiled, “Where would you like to sit?”

“Where do you think we should sit?”

“Hmm, I usually prefer towards the back, so you can get a full view of the screen. But some people prefer the middle. What sounds good to you?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Let’s just sit where you normally sit.” There, that was the best suggestion she had made all day.

“Are you sure?”

Rey shrugged, “Yeah, you seem to know the best spot.”

“Alright c’mon,” he sighed as he led her to the fourth row from the back. They scooted all the way towards the middle of the row and sat down together, settling themselves in.

“So?” Rey asked as she crunched into her first bite of buttery popcorn which ended with a pleased groan. Why did popcorn taste so good, she wished she could take some home. “Have you seen this film before?”

“_Snow White_? No,” he shook his head lightly. “I wasn’t home when it was first released.”

“How long has this film been out already?” She was surprised by his response.

“A few years I think. Not sure why they brought it back but people seem to love Walt Disney.”

“It must be good then.”

“Most of his animations are.”

They continued to munch on their popcorn for a few minutes, as more people filled the theater seats. Eventually the theater was semi-full and Rey was grateful they had sat towards the back. The front rows were filled with children and their parents. It didn’t seem like older people came to watch these film for themselves, which made her feel a bit embarrassed.

But, Ben didn’t seem to care. He was currently enjoying the short about “Donald Duck” that was flashing across the screen. The cartoon was silly enough but somehow entertaining. She shoved her embarrassment to the side and decided to just enjoy the cartoon with him. She had never been able to do this as a child and she wasn’t gona let embarrassment stop her from enjoying something for herself. Soon, her and Ben were both laughing at the misfortunes that “Donald Duck” was currently enduring on screen.

As the short film continued on, Rey started hearing strange noises coming from behind her. The noises sounded like they were a few rows behind them but not by much.

She found herself straining her ears to listen to what exactly those noises were. They started bothering her for some reason. When the cartoon’s music stopped, she heard it more clearly.

The sound she heard was of two people breathing roughly, their breaths mingling into one. Multiple smacking sounds could be heard and she snapped her head behind her when a loud high pitched moan escaped one of the person’s lips.

The scene she witnessed made her blush.

There was a boy and a girl, making out feverishly. Their hands and lips were all over each other, hungry for something she couldn’t comprehend.

She only looked for about 2 seconds before snapping her head forward and groaning out in frustration. “_It had to be them two,” _she scoffed out in her head.

The boy and the girl were none other than Hux and Nettie.

Ben’s eyebrows creased when he finally caught on to the noises. He turned towards Rey who was staring straight forward, visible anger and annoyance on her face.

He finally turned his head around when he heard a loud groan from behind him and saw Nettie crawling onto Hux’s lap. He then snapped his head forward like Rey had and sighed out while placing his fingers on his forehead.

Nettie started giggling loudly, very loudly.

“Really!” Rey shouted in a whisper. “There are children here, what is wrong with them!”

Ben sighed again, “It’s actually more common than you think.”

“What do you mean? People just come here to make out!”

“Surprising yes, but since this was a children’s film, I didn’t think this would be an issue. Him and Nettie must have snuck in here, like all the other stupid students who’ve been doing it,” he leaned his head back on the seat, staring up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the sounds behind him.

“You’re supposed to go to the cinema to watch films right, not do what they’re doing. It’s disturbing and disgusting. _They’re_ disgusting.”

“Completely agree,” he sighed out in annoyance. 

The couple behind them got louder, to the point where the people in front of them were turning around, including their kids. Annoyance and shock were clear on their faces from the couple’s indiscretion. The parents started glaring at them and then at her and Ben thinking that they were here for the same reason.

“They could at least be a little more quiet,” she ground out, ready to throw something at them.

“They don’t care, they’re being selfish and inconsiderate.”

They then heard the theater seat bend backwards until it hit the ground with a hard clank. Both Nettie and Hux laughed as they landed on the floor. The theater seat probably broken in the process.

Rey’s anger was starting to get the best of her and she wanted nothing more than to turn and throw her soda bottle at them. Hopefully clank Hux right in the forehead.

“C’mon, we’re moving seats,” Ben growled as he stood up, gathering their things.

She followed him as they both started exiting the row. As they were moving, she noted the noises from behind them stopped abruptly. Her head automatically turned at the stillness and she of course locked eyes with Nettie.

She was sitting in the seat next to the broken one while Hux was still getting up from the floor, wiping the lipstick off his face. Nettie’s eyes glanced between her and Ben repeatedly, before landing on Rey with a burning glare.

She glared at Rey, with a look that could probably kill. With one look she suspected that Nettie was extremely jealous for some reason and it irked her to see her following after Ben.

Rey snapped her eyes away from her, no longer wanting to acknowledge her and forget she was even here. She didn’t care what Nettie felt or thought, she was a pointless person to dwell on.

Ben led her down to the middle rows, further away from the pair of stupidity behind them. Once they found good seats, they were much more comfortable. Not only were Hux and Nettie’s sounds further away, Rey actually liked sitting more towards the front, it made the screen look bigger. It felt like she was being sucked into the moving pictures.

The lights finally dimmed until it was completely dark, signaling that the film was going to start. Rey leaned forward in her seat, excited like a little child, ready for it to commence. Instead of the bright cheery colors and sounds of Walt Disney, a black and white news reel started rolling.

It was debuting the destruction in Europe. The man’s voice in the news reel was alarmed and frightening, making the urgency of the war feel like you were in a horrific nightmare. 

“_War continues to rage overseas while America sits put. While Germany occupies France, English forces are struggling to retaliate and rebuild. Poland, Norway, Belgium and now even Greece have fallen victim to German rule. Will it be a matter of time before Great Britain falls! Is the queen safe_? _Will the Americans help before it is too late!_”

A slide show of various destroyed cities from the area begins to flip across the screen and among them are small towns. This is the first news reel Rey has ever seen about the war, most of the information she gleamed from the newspaper.

Among the small towns destroyed in England, she recognizes one specifically, one she could recall in her sleep.

In the slide of this specific town destroyed, it only focuses on one area, an outpost to be exact.

In the slide, the outpost is completely burned to the ground, with various bodies scattered around. The familiar metal posts that used to hold up the tents are still standing yet barley. And there’s that same stone well, the one she used to steal water from, still standing in the background now with a large gaping hole completely blown through it. All the vendor’s booths are shattered into pieces and everything is soiled in ash.

It only took her mind a millisecond to recognize the slide as it flipped by, it was Tuanul Village, an infamous outpost in Jakku. 

She inhaled a deep breath and turned her head away from the screen, feeling the air getting sucked right out of her. It was like if someone had directly punched her in the chest, cutting off her airway. Her hands started shaking and she was trembling violently. Her breaths came out haggardly now, yet she wouldn’t let the tears fall. _She was tired of constantly crying!_

The cruel vendors and taskmasters she would forget there, but not the children she scavenged alongside with. Them…she would never forget. She would never forget their starving faces or their poor unfortunate sufferings that they all endured together.

“Rey?” Ben slipped his hand into hers, yet she pulled back instantly, like his touch had burned her.

“Rey,” he stated a little more urgently now but she shook her head at him without facing him, needing to endure this wretched moment of sorrow alone. She couldn’t keep relying on him to make her feel better, she needed to learn that for herself. Even if a small portion of her brain cried out in agonizing protest for his arms, she wouldn’t allow herself to fall into him.

“Rey-” he sighed out again impatiently before moving the arm rest between them up and pulling her into his side.

She wanted to fight him, fight him so badly and claw him off. She hated this, she hated getting used to his comfort because it wouldn’t always be there. He would leave once they graduated, either to college or god forbid the war hit their shores. A flashback of the dream she had about Ben leaving her in a soldier’s uniform came to haunt her mind. She felt her throat constricting.

Regardless, she needed to be self-sufficient and independent of him, like she was before she met him. She didn’t need Ben Solo, she could take care of herself. The faster she let him go, the better off her life would be.

_But his arms_.

She couldn’t resist them, it was her greatest weakness. Since when she has no idea, maybe it had been the moment when he first caught her from falling out of the chair or the moment he taught her to dance on the Falcon. She can’t recall when it exactly became her weakness, but it might have also been the day when she held him from behind after spilling the truth about his father.

Whenever it was or wherever it was, his arms were becoming her personal drug. A quick fix to her aching chest that felt like a balm to the burn scars she carried deep within her. How could she resist him, her mind and heart were at war with each other. Her mind being rational but her heart not.

Her heart had won this time, as she relaxed her tense posture and snuggled herself closer into his side. She placed her trembling hand on his chest and blurred the rest of the newsreel out completely.

“It’s ok, I’m here,” he whispered gently as he reached for her hand and wrapped his fingers around hers. How warm and lovely his fingers felt, her heart clenched at the thought of _losing_ this one day.

“My home, it’s-” she croaked out, barely above a whisper. The image of Tuanul burned down to the ground forever engraved into her memory.

“I know,” his lips brushed her forehead but didn’t land.

** _Why have thou bewitched me, I am no longer unable to resist thee. _ **

** **

That specific line from the poem by Kylo Ren, whom she suspected was Ben all along, was currently running through her head. It was the poem that she wasn’t supposed to see, but read secretly in his library the day of the dinner at his house.

Right now, she was cursing herself for reading that blasted poem in his notebook. Why, because those specific lines were describing exactly how she felt right now. She felt like she was under some sort of spell, unable to resist him. Unable to resist his arms, unable to resist his hands, unable to resist the feel of his chest under her hand moving up and down with each breath he took, unable to resist his scent, unable to resist his eyes, unable to resist his warmth and most of all unable to resist just him.

She wondered where in the world he had gotten the inspiration to write such stanzas, she was surely jealous of the source. What had caused him to feel that way…

How could one line of words have such an effect on her. When she had first read the poem, it had practically put her in a daze. And now, those line were a reality to how she felt.

Minutes later the film started for real this time and she straightened herself, extracting herself unwillingly from Ben’s embrace. Her mind was somewhat back to normal as was her breathing and she didn’t want to spend the entire film being drowned in her own dark thoughts. She shoved her sorrow to the side, for now.

He straightened out too and they both relaxed a bit, leaning casually in their seats to watch the screen.

Perhaps they would talk about what happened later or maybe not. Either way she was grateful for the comfort he gave her. It was becoming easier/ more natural for them to provide physical comfort to each other and she wondered if that was a good thing or a scary thing.

About half-way into the film, Rey found herself truly enjoying what she saw on screen. The animation was beautiful, the singing was catchy and she was secretly loving the seven dwarfs, especially Dopey.

She leaned on the edge of her seat every time the evil queen would confront the magic mirror. The evil queen was terrifying, completely vile and she couldn’t wait to see how the tale gets resolved.

As the kids in front of her seat munched on their popcorn, it made her want some more. She looked down at her small bag and wrinkled her nose. Good things didn’t last long, especially popcorn. She shrugged and was about to toss her bag when Ben reached for it.

“Do you want some more?”

“You mean I can get more?” She asked a little too excitedly by the way her voice jumped.

“Yes,” he chuckled at her excitement. “Wait here, I’ll go grab some.”

As Ben was exiting the row, the evil queen on screen was conjuring up some sort of potion. It freaked her out a bit, she was a very vicious women going to such great lengths over beauty.

Rey turned back to look at Ben as he was climbing the stairs to exit into the atrium when she felt something simmering in her blood at the scene she saw playing out behind her.

She saw the exact moment that Nettie’s eyes had landed on Ben as he was climbing the stairs. She had practically jumped out of her seat and rushed towards the aisle way, towards him as she saw him approaching. She reached the stairs just in front of him as he was walking up.

Conveniently, she placed her foot right in front of him before he reached the last step in the aisle way. It was dark and still sort of difficult to see. If it weren’t for the flashing lights on screen, Rey’s not sure she would have even witnessed the scene.

Falling into Nettie’s obvious plan, Ben had accidently bumped into her as she moved into the aisle way and knocked her to the floor. It all happened so fast, within seconds. She landed so roughly and Rey secretly wondered if Ben had truly seen her or not, judging by how hard he had run into her. Maybe he had wanted to push her out of the way…

Of course Ben helped her up, being the gentleman that he is, even if she did wish that he would have left her down on the floor and kept walking. As Nettie stood up, she placed her hand on his bicep and the other on his chest. Rey could tell by her gestures that she was probably giving him some over the top “thank you” like he was some sort of hero or knight in shining armor.

But Ben stiffened immediately at the contact.

Rey then looked back at Hux who wasn’t paying attention at all to the scene that his girlfriend or whatever she is to him had caused. He was too busy sticking his weasel face into his bag of popcorn to notice the game she was playing.

Rey growled as she saw Nettie follow after Ben into the atrium attempting to hold onto him even though he was visibly uncomfortable from the moment her claws had latched on him. Something about her touching _his_ arms made a fire burn within her soul that she thought would consume her.

Nettie stayed latched onto Ben’s arm as they disappeared from her sight.

“Whore,” she muttered out bitterly, turning her head forward again and not knowing where this burning fire had come from.

“Those arms don’t belong to you,” she thought aloud to herself.

“_They don’t belong to you either,_” Rey shuddered at her own thoughts, completely caught off guard by her own conscious.

While she knew this was true, she hated the fact of having another girl touch him that way. Ben didn’t like to be touch, this much she knew. However, with her it was different because they were friends…and only friends could reach out and touch hands and arms, right? Not filthy whores who only wanted them for their own selfish gain. Who does she think she is touching him that way without even truly knowing him?

“_I know him, therefore it’s ok to touch him, right_?” She questioned herself, not even knowing why her mind had gone down this line of thinking.

“_It doesn’t matter anyway. But… what if Ben secretly likes it, likes the attention. What if him and Nettie start hanging out and going on dates?_ _What if Ben and Nettie end up like her and Hux in the back of a movie theater, making out feverishly and breaking chairs._”

The thought of Nettie climbing onto Ben’s lap made her wince, she almost had to bite back the small quiver in her lips. A strong sense of hurt washed through her and she had to remind herself again that Ben’s arms didn’t belong to her. He could do with them whatever he pleased, regardless if she was hurt or not, her feelings didn’t matter.

Nettie _was_ pretty in every sense outwardly. She had the perfect face, the perfect body and if that’s what Ben wanted, then she couldn’t stop him.

Rey shoved her burning sadness and insecurity to the side in order to focus on what was right in front of her. She wasn’t gona let her first time at the cinema be ruined over stupid pointless people or stupid pointless thoughts.

She went back to focusing on the screen and was frightened by the evil queen’s transformation into an old hag. The change had been so drastic…and it made Rey think if that’s what she looked like to other people, to Ben. An old rundown hag. Her thoughts were somehow affecting her viewing of the film.

Seconds later Ben returned, relief washing through him as he sat down. He immediately noticed her downcast expression and pouty lips as she stared up at the screen. Her face completely different from what it had been a few minutes ago.

“Ah, finally,” he cleared his throat loudly. “I had to escape the ‘evil queen’ out there,” he added smoothly like it was the most natural thing to say.

A burst of laughter was trapped between Rey’s lips as she processed his words, her saddened demeanor starting to melt away. She shook her head without looking at him.

“What? It’s true, I felt like Snow White out there,” he winked at her as a set of giggles finally kicked in, even though she didn’t face him and kept her head glued to the screen.

“Oh Ben,” she slapped his arm playfully still not looking at him.

Seconds later he jumped back a little in his seat, staring at the screen with wide eyes. “Woah, _who_ is that? What did I miss? She looks terrifying,” he whispered to her.

She chuckled at him, “It’s the evil queen Ben, she transformed herself into a hag.”

“What? Really, wow I leave for two minutes and people start transforming on me.” He gave her a knowing look, his words having a double meaning to them, like he could see how her demeanor had transformed from when he left to get her more popcorn to how it was now.

She finally turned to him and couldn’t resist the smile that stretched its’ way onto her lips. He was giving her that Solo smirk, the one that made blue butterflies flutter in her stomach.

“The only transforming here should be on screen.” He placed his hand on top of hers for a few seconds before releasing and watching the movie in front of him.

She stared at him as he faced forward now, suddenly feeling her insecurity and sadness begin to wash away. 

***

It was almost dinner time by the time the movie finished. The coast had been clear of Plutt as far as they were concerned. Rey knew he wouldn’t wait around for hours, he was too impatient for that. They never brought him up again, neither wanting to bring him into the conversation or think about the vicious look in his eyes. As far as Rey was concerned, she wanted to completely forget what happened before the movie, it had apparently scarred them both to the point where he was never brought up.

And so, after the movie they drove around to find some place to eat, their bellies a growling mess.

Eventually they found themselves driving to Maz’s and parked down the street from the rustic diner, wanting to walk around a bit after sitting for so long in the theater.

They both stretched their legs once out of the truck and started heading towards the diner. The evening sunlight was glowing perfectly to the point where it wasn’t warm or cold, but just right. Rey wished the weather could always be like this, Naboo truly did have the best springs. 

“So,” he began as he walked alongside her. “Did you like the movie?”

“Surprisingly yes,” she smiled warmly at Ben even though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Buuut?” He questioned sensing the hesitation in her eyes.

“But what?”

“I know that look. There’s something you’re not telling me.” He eyed her suspiciously with a playful look in his eyes.

Did he really know her looks? As she knew his.

“What? I said it was good, I liked it. I’m extremely grateful I got to even watch the film in the first place.”

He chuckled lightly at her, his eyes gleaming, “Rey, if there’s something about the movie you didn’t like then just say it.”

She hesitated before giving into him, “It’s not that I didn’t like it. I just thought it was strange, unrealistic.” How dare she complain about a movie she didn’t even pay for, but Ben was too hard to resist when it came to being honest.

“Of course it is. It’s a production by Walt Disney, not a historical account.”

“No, I know, I get it. I loved most things about it. The dwarfs, Snow White, the evil queen, the animals, the plot, the singing and dancing. It was a wonderful film.”

“Buuuut?” He questioned her again, egging her on.

She sighed, secretly tiring of his probing. But they were always honest with each other whenever it came to literature and poetry and fairytales and myths. Those were some areas where they could be completely honest with their opinions with each other, when it came to how they perceived those things.

“It’s just,” she sighed out again not sure if she should continue but did anyways.

“The whole plot with Snow White and the prince seemed completely unrealistic. I mean they only met just once before walking off into the sunset married. And they technically didn’t even speak one sentence to each other the entire film before kissing. He sings one song to her for two seconds and then they’re magically in love. She didn’t even know his name and vise versa, yet it was true love’s kiss that broke the spell. If you asked me the dwarfs deserved to get kissed before the prince did. He didn’t do anything, the dwarfs chased the evil queen away, causing her demise. They did the most action yet didn’t get the princess in the end.” She finished her speech, making sure her point was made.

After a beat of silence, Ben busted into a fit of laughter, shaking his head, his deep voice rolling beside her. He had to contain himself as he sighed out a chuckle, ending it with a small smile on his lips. “So that’s what you didn’t like about the film.”

“I just thought it was a little silly that they fell in love at first sight without even getting to know each other.” She responded in her defense.

“It’s a fairy tale Rey, like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I know but still. They at least should have had some sort of interaction before happily ever after, don’t you think?”

“So, you don’t believe in love at first sight?”

“No, how could I? It’s a silly notion that doesn’t exist.” The more she thought about it, the more impossible and irrational it became in her head.

For some reason, Ben went silent. His face turning a little more serious than the conversation had been leading on. After a few seconds he blurted, “I believe in it.” His voice was deep and filled with emotion that had come out of nowhere.

She looked up at him, surprised by his response. “Really?” She scoffed. “But you believe in anything. You’re a writer, your head is always up in the clouds.” She pushed against him lightly, playfully elbowing him.

But he hadn’t responded to her playfulness. He kept his head forward, looking at something far off that she couldn’t see.

“You truly believe in love at first sight?” She asked again, noting how he was taking this more seriously then she thought.

He didn’t look at her as she asked him again. But his cheeks started reddening immensely, he still couldn’t look at her directly. “Yeah,” he breathed out, barely audible. “A version of it. But, I guess it is a silly notion, right?” Something about his voice made it sound like he had experience with the feeling. Like he had fallen in love at first sight before. She wondered who or what had caused him to feel that way.

For some reason she couldn’t swallow, as she felt a lump forming in her throat. She suddenly felt bad for making him feel stupid for believing in something that clearly wasn’t stupid to him.

“Ben I-”

“Never mind,” he breathed out, completely erasing the tension from the conversation. His head finally snapped to hers as they reached the diner’s entrance. “Let’s grab some food shall we,” he held the door open to the diner for her before she realized they had even reached the place.

The seriousness from a few seconds ago was completely gone from his face, he was back to his normal self. They entered the diner and sat at their usual table. The conversation about love at first sight was completely forgotten.

“You know, I will say one thing though,” he leaned over the table towards her as they sat across from each other. “You might just be Walt Disney’s greatest critic.”

“I’m not a critic,” she rolled her eyes. “Just realistic.”

“Maybe you need a little more imagination.”

“Nothing in my life has ever been imaginative. Only realistic, it’s better that way, less disappointment.” She thought about her past and current situation, concluding that always expecting the worst was an easier way to live than wishing for more. Sure, fairytales and myths were fun, but they weren’t realistic. They were like a bag of candy that tasted good but wouldn’t always last forever, the bag would eventually go empty.

“That may be true,” he countered her. “But, maybe having something unrealistic, makes us forget what reality is really like.” His eyes softened as he gazed at her, hoping she would understand his meaning.

“So, you want to forget?” What was with him and always forgetting things.  
“The past…yes.”

She sighed, “Let me guess, kill the past, right. That’s like your motto for everything. Not everyone wants it to die Ben.”

“Only if it’s holding you back.”

She stared at him, not sure where this conversation was going. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to talk about her or himself.

He looked down, noting how she was eyeing him. Her eyes stayed on him though, yet she couldn’t think of what to say next.

“Hey there younglings!” Chewie’s loud rough voice rang next to their table, startling them as they looked up towards the towering giant. “Good to see you guys here. You all don’t usually come on the weekends.” He stretched out his hand and ruffled Ben’s hair, turning it into a mess.

Rey giggled softly, noting how his hair was now covering his eyes.

“Thanks Chewie,” he muttered annoyingly as he attempted to smooth out his hair.

“No problem little starfighter,” he ruffled it again, just as Ben finished fixing it, until it was messy just like it had been a second ago.

He was about to snap at Chewie until he noted the giggles that were escaping Rey’s mouth. He didn’t want her smile to go away or the sound of her small laughs to fade. The sound made his heart skip beats.

“We were in the area and decided to stop by. But don’t worry, we’ll all be back on Monday,” she beamed up at Chewie.

“So, it’s just the two of you huh?” Chewie leaned his large hands which were more like paws on Ben’s shoulder, making him lean to the side. 

“Yeah, and… we went to the movies!” She sounded a little too excited but couldn’t contain herself. It was her first time after all and she wanted everyone to know how grateful she was to Ben for going.

“Really, you took little peanut here out on a movie date did you now.” Chewie shook him roughly by the shoulders. “You Solos, always charming the girl-”

“Chewie!” Ben growled, embarrassment covering his dark features.

“Um, it wasn’t a date!” Rey blurted quickly as her cheeks flushed. Her voice was weak and fragile, like a nervousness shrouding her thoughts.

“Oh ok, whatever you kids say,” he winked at Rey as she stared down at her hands in her lap. _How many times were people going to say that today?_

“Alright, alright, diner is on the house tonight. I’ll bring you guys out the special, sound good?” They both nodded as he padded Ben on the back a few times before leaving towards the kitchen to prepare the food.

“Sorry,” Ben muttered lowly.

“It’s alright, Chewie must care about you deeply.”

He looked up at her, his eyes a bit weary but he nodded anyway. “He’s been a part of my family for a long time. We were close when I was younger.”

“And now?”

Ben shrugged, “I guess it doesn’t really matter now, especially when you’re grown up.”

“Being grown up doesn’t mean anything.”

“He treats me like a child,” he protested.

“Is that such a bad thing?” She eyed him closely.

“No, I guess not, sometimes. He’s like the _uncle_ I never had.” For some reason a dark cloud shrouded his face, like he was thinking about someone else when he said the word “uncle”. He was probably referring to Luke.

She noticed he did this sometimes, randomly interjecting the thought of his real uncle into conversations. It always had a dark or negative effect on him though, she didn’t like it. His face was now hardened as he stared down at the table.

She reached over and placed her hand over his, wanting to ease his discomfort. His eyes snapped to hers instantly. “It’s ok you know, I think Chewie is an excellent uncle. I wish I had him for one.”

He breathed out slowly, before turning his hand up, so her fingers could lay gently in his palm. His palm was rough yet smooth, she found herself wanting to trace the lines there.

“Ben,” she breathed out, distracted by his thumb moving against her pinky. “Do you want to talk about it,” her voice shook as she tried to regain her focus.

He scoffed lightly while removing his hand from hers. “No, it won’t do any good.”

“Maybe someday?”

“Hmph, maybe,” he sighed a little too darkly for her liking.

Chewie returned with the food and placed the dishes out before them. “Tonight’s course meal is baked chicken with mushrooms, made famous by yours truly.”

“Oh, Chewie how could we not pay for this?” Rey eyed the perfectly served plate of chicken, mash potatoes and steamed vegetables covered in sauce. It looked so good, she felt her stomach growl harder as the scents hit her.

“Nonsense, I said it’s on the house.”

Chewie then placed a small candlelight in the middle of the table, making it glow. This was followed by him placing a small bouquet of flowers between them, that had practically come out of nowhere. 

“What’s all this?” Ben asked as Maz came out from behind the counter with two glass champagne cups and a bottle of cider.

“Oh you know, just stuff we need to get rid of before it goes bad.” Chewie winked at his wife as she rolled her eyes at him.

She poured the cider in their cups. “This bottle is going to expire soon, it needs to be used.” The older woman smiled warmly at Rey, before reaching out to tuck a small piece of her hair behind her ear.

“Don’t worry though, there’s no good stuff in it. Can’t serve alcohol to minors.” Chewie bellowed before leaving back to the kitchen.

“You two kiddos enjoy your dinner,” Maz said as she left to the counter to assist new customers entering the diner.

Rey looked around at the other tables next to them, noting that they looked cold and empty without flowers, candles and cider glasses. Their table stuck out and it was obvious.

Ben started fidgeting nervously, obviously annoyed by what the two owners had done to their table.

But Rey didn’t mind, it looked more appealing in her head. And the candlelight made the boy’s face across from her light up. His cheeks were warm and his beauty marks more accentuated by the light reflecting off him. The flowers were beautiful, bright red roses and daises. And for some reason she wanted to drink the cider even more because it was in a shiny fancy cup.

“Shall we,” she gestured towards Ben, as she started digging into her plate.

He looked at her for a few seconds before sighing and digging into his plate too. If she hadn’t noticed what they’d done, setting them up like that, then he wasn’t going to tell her. He’d push away his embarrassment and enjoy the food with her.

Besides, the candlelight made the freckles on her face more prominent and he had to stop himself from counting them or he was never going to eat.

The food was delicious, and Rey and Ben spent the first half of their dinner debating if Walt Disney was a good director or not.

Between the small laughs and giggles at their table, they didn’t notice that someone had entered the diner.

The woman’s heels clicked as she strode from the door towards the counter. A loud echo as the restaurant was nearing its’ closing time and there were less customers. As she was passing their table, her large bag accidently bumped Rey in the head, causing the fork that was about to enter her mouth to bounce out of her hand and onto the floor. Rey’s dress was suddenly smothered in mushrooms and sauce.

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” the woman turned around towards Rey and eyed her before adding, “You poor thing.” She gave Rey a look as if she were in _her _way and that’s why her bag hit her head.

Ben instantly sat up and passed her his napkin.

“It’s alright,” Rey turned her head up to look at the woman, only to have her snickering down at her.

The woman was very pretty, probably in her late 30’s. She was tall and lean, with bright red hair that matched her bright red lips. Her blue eyes were piercing and she could have sworn she had seen them before. Her dress and hat were perfectly tailored, she looked like she just stepped out of a clothing advertisement. Expensive and flashy is how she would describe her with a pretty pointed face.

Ben finally looked up to see who had hit Rey in the head, when his eyes went cold, all emotion leaving him.

She clicked her tongue down at Rey, “You poor, poor thing. I am so sorry for ruining your dress. Perhaps it’s time for a new one.”

“You would know,” Ben muttered under his breath without looking up at the woman.

She then looked across from Rey, her eyes narrowing automatically as she realized it was him. “Solo,” she greeted him, her expression cold and devoid of any kindness.

Rey looked between the two, wondering who in the world was this woman.

The woman then turned her gaze back to Rey, eyeing her closely for a few seconds before adding, “Oh! I know who are, you must be that new girl here. The young orphan girl from England.” She crinkled her nose as she eyed her tattered dress and shoes.

“My son has told me all about you. How you’re staying with that cheap drunken gambler down in that old shack out in the slums. That explains sooo much.” She shook her head as her eyes traveled up and down her body.

Rey suddenly didn’t feel so good and she concluded that this woman was surely mocking her. Something about her eyes and pinched nose told her that she was disgusted by her. “You really shouldn’t step out into society like that, some people might think you’re a beggar.” She wiggled her painted fingers over the sleeves of Rey’s dress, like she would be contaminated if she touched it.

“And some might think you’re pretentious,” Ben barked completely catching her off guard.

She narrowed her eyes at him, “Still the same ill-mannered boy I see.” She smirked at him revealing some shiny white teeth between her red lips. They reminded Rey of fangs.

“Still the same obnoxious crone I see.”

“Ben,” Rey finally whispered, not wanting him to continue this back and forth of insults. She wanted the woman to leave their table, not stay and continue to speak to them.

“I am not as much a crone as you are a troublemaker. Let’s not forget the matter of your family shall we. I’m sure the whole town knows what you truly are.”

Ben fists clenched, his teeth grinding.

“And you,” she faced Rey again. “You would be well better off staying away from young men with serious issues.” She pointed her powdered nose towards the boy across from her.

Rey’s eyebrows creased, “I’d say the only person here with serious issues is you,” she spat back at the older woman. Disgust filling her mouth with how vile she was speaking to them.

“You would be well enough to mind your manners young lady, or do you even have any? Considering your living situation with a barbaric junker, I highly doubt you’re able to step out into society. It’s an embarrassment to this town having you walking around looking the way you do, you poor uncouth girl.”

Rey felt a lump forming in her chest.

Ben stood up out of his chair immediately, his face turning red like he was about to yell at the woman across from him.

“Caroline!” Maz Kanata’s voice rang from behind the counter, like a soothing calm buffer. She couldn’t hear the conversation that had been exchanged at the table, but judging by Ben jumping out of his seat, it couldn’t have been good.

“Your order is ready dear,” Maz’s smooth voice rang loud enough that everyone in the restaurant could hear. She was gona pull that vile woman away from them as fast as she could.

The woman named Caroline scoffed before adding, “I’m coming my dear Maz,” in the most fake nice voice Rey had ever heard. Caroline snapped away from their table but not before giving her a snooty look that made her feel like trash.

Ben slowly sat back down in his chair as the woman’s heels clicked towards the counter.

“Thanks Maz! Your pies are just the best, can’t have my Sunday after church get together without your famous pecan pie.” The redhead gushed obnoxiously as she passed her change over the counter. “And how’s old Charles doing?” She looked around the counter, trying to spot the giant man.

“Oh, he’s the same you know. Hey honey, Caroline is here!” Maz called out to her husband, who was suddenly too occupied with washing dishes.

“Hmph, well do tell him when he gains some manners that I said hello,” she gave a fake smile before turning on her heels and exiting the diner with two boxes of pies in hand. She completely ignored Rey and Ben’s table as she passed by, putting her nose up in the air as she did.

Once the door finally closed behind her, Rey and Ben heard a loud clash of dishes followed by, “Finally, the wicked witch of the west has left the building!”

They both started busting up laughing at Chewie’s loud exclamation.

“Charles!” Maz boomed as he continued on with his chore.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“Would it kill you to say hello, the poor girl can’t help it. …She’s changed so much,” a sad expression crossed Maz’s face.

“I ain’t saying hello to _that_. I don’t feel like being thrown into the lion’s den,” he made a growling sound and lifted his hand out of the sink to imitate a lion’s paw.

The older woman threw a rag at her husband before laughing at his ridiculous intimidation of a lion.

After finishing laughing, the two teens cleared their throats, attempting to get back to their meal. Ben went to get Rey a new fork as she contemplated the cruel words of the woman who had just insulted her. It had stung, but the woman was obviously very rude and snobbish to whoever encountered her.

“Who was that woman?” Rey finally asked as Ben returned with her new fork.

“Do you have to ask,” he snorted. “Take a look at her face and tell me who she reminds you of.”

She thought long and hard until it finally hit her. Her face reminded her for some reason of a momma weasel, a pretty one, but one none the less. The first time she had ever seen a picture of a weasel was back in London when they were advertising some sort of cartoon on the billboards.

After thinking of who reminded her of a weasel, it clicked in her head.

“Is she?”

“Yes, it’s Hux’s mother.”

“Oh,” was all she had to say. “That makes sense.”

“Like mother, like son,” he ground out as he attempted to eat the rest of his chicken.

“But, I don’t understand. Why is she so vicious? And why does she hate you so much?”

He sighed, taking a long drink from his glass, before clearing his throat, “It’s a long story, but basically she married into money, turned into a snobbish witch and hates my family’s guts.”

“Really, why?” She was suddenly curious about Mrs. Hux.

“Well, it’s simple really,” he shrugged. “My mother ran against her husband for mayor and it was kind of an ugly blood bath. Brendol Hux, which is Armitage’s father, was responsible for many treacherous deeds including exposing my family during the elections. He’s a cruel relentless man who will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”

“So Hux’s father ran against your mother and lost. That’s why he hates you so much.” Things were finally starting to make sense in her head.

He nodded, while continuing to eat. “Armitage Hux has always been jealous of me ever since I could remember, although I’m not entirely sure why.”

“What exactly did his father expose during the elections? ...Oh! Ben I’m sorry, I-” she stopped short realizing what Brendol Hux had probably used against Leia during the most critical time in her political career.

“It’s ok, you’re right on that account, but not only did he use _me_, he used my mother’s family as well. That was the bigger bomb than my father. He exposed the truth about my grandfather, which almost caused her to lose everything. All credibility and status she had built up for herself, almost went down the drain.”

“Your grandfather?” She was surprised that he was finally telling her all of this, so much new information in one sitting.

He placed his fork down, suddenly done with eating. He sighed before resting his chin on his hand. “It’s a long story really, but basically my grandfather…he wasn’t a good man.”

She could see the dark cloud that shrouded his face and regrettably felt bad for making him bring it up. “But Leia, she still won anyways.”

“Yeah, she won by a land slide after Hux started proposing ridiculous policies and laws. He stuck his own foot in his mouth and has been blaming everyone but himself ever since.”

“I see, so that’s why Armitage is the jerk that he is.”

“Like father, like son. Runs in the family I guess.” He took another drink from his cider.

Rey went back to eating, trying to forget the arrogant family and their cruel intentions towards others. She wanted nothing to do with the Hux family and concluded that they were too toxic to waste energy on.

A few minutes later someone had started playing music on the jukebox and beautiful melodies started filling the air. Rey turned and saw Chewie wink at her as he inconspicuously stepped away from the music machine to retreat back into the kitchen.

She smiled and started to sway in her seat to the rhythms that started playing as she took her last bite. Her feet were moving back and forth underneath the table, as the music started to carry her away. Eventually a small humming sound escaped her lips as she recognized one of the big band songs playing.

The evening light was almost completely gone and the candlelight on the table was shining more brightly than it had been before. Everyone else was gone from the diner except them two and the two owners, who were still prepping food for the coming up week and cleaning up. 

“You two kiddos take your time!” Chewie roared from the storage room, as Maz collected their plates.

“There’s no rush, you two can sit here as long as you like. We’ll probably be here another hour or so before we finally close shop.” She nodded at the young pair before heading towards the sink.

“Ben, we should probably leave them a nice tip, after everything they’ve done for us.” Rey whispered gently as he reached into his pant pocket to pull out some change.

“Don’t worry I got it.” He set the money down on the table.

“You always get it, let me help.”

“No, you helped with the ice cream remember.”

“That doesn’t count Ben,” she protested as he smiled warmly at her.

“It does too.”

She rolled her eyes at him, tired of his over generous chivalry.

The next record started playing, filling the air loudly with a romantic yet somber melody. She recognized the song immediately, it was their song. The song Ben had taught her how to slow dance to on the Falcon.

The singer’s voice boomed from the jukebox as Rey began to move in her seat gently. She really did like this song, despite its’ somber tone. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the melody or if it reminded her of dancing with Ben. She tried her best not to think of it as _their _song but failed miserably. The memory of him dancing with her was etched into the melody every time she heard it playing.

“There is one way you could make it count, or…repay me.” He swallowed thickly, hoping he didn’t sound too nervous, as he eyed her moving in her seat.

“Hmm?” She questioned him, eyeing him curiously.

He stood up slowly from his seat and went to her side, his steps set with purpose. He bent towards her before offering her his hand. “My lady, can I have a dance?” It was the most polite offer she had ever heard from him.

She gazed at his hand and then back up to him, surprised by his actions. “Here? Now?” She questioned him, looking around the empty diner for some sort of protest. 

“There’s no one else here,” he shrugged lightly, like it was no big deal.

“What about Maz and Chewie,” she whispered, afraid they might be offended for turning the dining area into a dance hall.

“Just take the hand,” Chewie whispered loudly to the point where it wasn’t a whisper at all.

They both flushed as they turned to look for Chewie’s voice but couldn’t find him. Perhaps he was busying hiding or acting like he wasn’t watching. Either way, they both turned red and Ben cleared his throat before scratching the back of his head anxiously.

“We’ll be outback dumping the trash, you two look after the diner while we step out,” Maz’s voice carried from the back of the restaurant to them. She snatched Chewie from his invisible hiding place and they proceeded to drag two large bins outside as the back door shut loudly.

Ben faced her again, the candlelight reflecting off his proud cheek bones. As he stretched his hand towards her again, she smiled and accepted his invitation. She gave into him, if this was the payment he wanted, then she would pay it. Not that she minded though…she finally allowed herself to admit that she liked dancing with him.

They moved towards the aisle way between the tables and booths and started to sway together, the rhythm taking them away. She held onto his shoulder as her other hand was in his. His other hand was placed lightly on the small of her back, as he led her down the rows of tables and chairs, the music carrying them away from the diner.

They both laughed breathlessly as he spun her around and she landed back in his arms a little too roughly. He continued to guide her back up the aisle until he spun her again, lifted her gently into the air and landed her directly on top of his feet.

She breathed out a set of giggles as she landed on his feet, feeling the firmness of his boots guide her effortlessly. He smiled down at her the whole time, as he continued to lead her, the candlelight casting beautiful shadows across the large room.

The music continued to play in the background, the woman’s voice echoing throughout the diner, sweet yet somber. The words to the song were finally starting to hit her.

“**_Don’t let this parting upset you,_**

** _ I’ll not forget you, sweetheart,_ **

** _We’ll meet again, _ **

** _Don’t know where, _ **

** _Don’t know when,_ **

**_ But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day_**.”

Rey’s eyes became glassy as she thought about her previous conversation earlier with Ben, when he had asked her what her plans were after graduation. She was determined to leave back home but didn’t think about the idea of leaving her life here behind, of leaving him behind.

“Ben,” she finally spoke her face leaning into his shoulder, she couldn’t look directly at him.

“Hmm?” His warm voice rang softly near her ear, as he leaned his chin near the top of her head.

“About earlier,” her voice became thick. “When you asked what I was doing after graduation-”.

“Let’s not think about graduation,” his arms tightened around her as he cut her off mid-sentence. “Ok? Let’s just focus on here and now.”

She sighed heavily, burying her head into his shoulder, not wanting to think about saying goodbye to him, but she did anyways. “We’ll have to say goodbye eventually, one day,” her voice shook.

Ben stiffened then breathed out deeply, “When you go back home right? Until then no goodbyes.” His warm voiced wavered and she could hear the shudder in it. His grip on her was visceral, instinctive, like she was his life support that he couldn’t let go.

“Ok,” she mumbled as she buried her face deeper into his shoulder, biting back the tears that wanted to fall. Leaving him almost felt unfathomable for some reason and she couldn’t figure out why. When had she gotten to this point…

The song ended and the diner went silent, apparently that was the last song on the track. However, he still kept guiding her with her still standing on his feet. He continued to sway her as he started humming the song softly in her ear. It felt more like a lullaby and the deepness to his rich voice was like a soothing wave, calmly moving back and forth in her ear.

Her lower lip started quivering as he continued to hum the song in her ear. She bit it back to the point where blood started forming at the cracked edges. She licked her lips to swallow it, trying to focus on that pain then the gaping one she started feeling in her chest.

Eventually she had to let go. She pushed herself off his shoulder and looked up at him, their arms still connected.

He gazed down at her, his eyes large and blown wide, the golden color replaced with black. He released the hand behind her back and lifted it to caress the padding just below her eye, noting the glassines there. His hand covered the whole side of her face.

“Nolite flere puella,” he mumbled deeply in his husky voice, sending shivers down her spine.

She had no idea what he had just said, but it shook her to the core. He leaned his forehead against hers, their breaths bouncing off one another, mingling together. She then eyed his plush lips that were turning a deep pink, almost red. And for some strange reason she wanted to lean forward and have their lips touch, but couldn’t figure out why she would even think that.

** _Why in the world was she even thinking that!_ **

A sudden fear shrouded her, she’d never felt anything like this before, her heart was pounding in her chest. These new and foreign feelings scared her, she didn’t like experiencing foreign things, it was too frightening. This scene was too frightening, she felt her whole body quiver in fear or anticipation she wasn’t sure.

The intensity of it all, made her pull back as Ben did too. Maybe it was too overwhelming for him as well.

She gently stepped off his feet, her mind screaming for her to jump back on, but she hushed it immediately. They released each other as Rey started to smooth out her dress, Ben fumbling with his own shirt to smooth it out too.

He cleared his throat, “We should head out.” There was a nervous edge to his voice, a quiver to his own lips.

“Yeah,” she breathed out, feeling a little lightheaded.

The atmosphere was bleeding with such an intensity that neither one of them knew how to contain or comprehend it.

They trudged back to their table to gather their belongings when Chewie and Maz returned from outside through the back door.

“Thanks for watching the diner starfighter, I’ll take it from here.”

Rey and Ben said their goodbyes before heading for the truck outside.

The ride back home had been quiet. Rey turning her feelings over and over in her head about what she felt back in the diner, standing on his feet, with his mouth near hers. For some reason, she couldn’t think straight on the matter. She kept asking herself over and over again what had possessed her to think such a thing.

Perhaps she was going mad because clearly her and Ben were just friends. She knew there was no way in hell’s inferno that he could ever like her that way. The thought was just impossible, unfathomable. He didn’t belong with someone like her, he needed someone like him, with family and wealth. His family would never let him settle down with someone as poor as she was.

_She_ wouldn’t even let him end up with someone as poor as she was. Perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her and she was imagining things. A good friend would want the best for their friend, which is exactly what she wanted for him.

She wanted him to go to college, have a nice job or career, become successful and then maybe settle down one day with a nice girl and live the rest of his life happily. Yes, she wanted that for him as a friend.

She wanted him to eventually forgive himself for his father’s death and live without guilt or shame. She wanted the best for him, a good life filled with people who loved him and without weights holding him down. She wanted him to find a good companion, a good wife who could make him happy and maybe even give him children one day.

For some reason an image rapidly popped into her head, a bright image. It was the image of a baby girl, her chubby toddler legs running through a large house, with black wild curls just like her father, screaming from the top of her lungs as he chased her around playfully. She could see Ben lifting the beautiful baby girl into the air and laughing with her as he spun her around.

Yes, that is what she wanted for her friend Ben Solo. A future full of hope and life and love and family.

And even if she could never have a future like that, she at least wanted him to have one.

“Rey?” Ben asked softly, ripping her away from her shifting thoughts.

“What is it?” She asked quietly looking over to him in the driver’s seat as the truck bounced on the old street roads.

“Nothing, it’s just…you’ve been quiet the whole ride.”

“I’ve…just been thinking that’s all,” she smiled warmly at him attempting to give him assurance that everything was ok.

“What are you thinking about?”

She hesitated before answering. “Honestly, you’re probably going to laugh. But,” she could be honest with him, in just this one instance. Right? “I was thinking about your future.”

“My future?” He questioned her, surprised by her response.

“Yeah, you know. Like what you’re going to do in college, what you’re going to do after college…”. Her voice trailed off, afraid that she was sounding stupid to him.

“Strange, I haven’t thought about any of that,” he shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“You mean, you don’t know what you want in the future?”

“No, not exactly,” he hesitated as if he did know but wasn’t sure of himself. “I don’t completely believe in plans and goals. I believe in fate and destiny.”

How ironic that early he was the one asking her what her plans were after graduation, yet he doesn’t believe in plans himself or clearly he does if he’s going to college.

She sighed, “You really believe in fate and destiny, like they control what happens in the future and what doesn’t?”

“Yep, my future is whatever destiny wants it to be. Whether my fate is to stay here…or thus go across the universe with-, travel across the globe, I’ll let it decide what happens.”

For some reason it sounded like he was trying to quote something just now. He did that sometimes randomly during conversations. He would interject or sneak quotes or phrases into his words or sentences. Rey knew it was the writer in him that made him do that.

“Ben, that is the most silliest plan I have ever heard.”

“Almost as silly as trying to return to England after graduation.” He regretted his words the moment they flew out of his mouth, but he said them anyways.

She glared at him as he pressed his lips into a thin line, that was a cheap shot. But since she had called his plan ridiculous, she supposed she had that one coming.

For some reason she started repeating the lines in her head that he had just spoken to her about his fate. “_Thus go across the universe with-”. _What exactly did he mean by that? Where had she heard that stanza before? She recognized those words from somewhere.

Within seconds, something clicked inside her brain, those weren’t just words he said. Those words were a line from a poem, a poem that Kylo Ren had written and pinned to the poetry club’s wall at the school.

It was from the very first poem she had ever read from him. She searched her memory to recall every single stanza from the poem word for word, as she realized that it was Ben who had written it all along.

** _From the very moment my eyes thus laid upon you,_ **

** _ you captured my eyes, _ **

** _and then my eyes captured my mind, _ **

** _and then my mind captured my heart,_ **

** _ and then my heart captured my soul._ **

** _ And I knew from that moment onward,_ **

** _ that I would “thus go across the universe with” you._ **

** **

She then thought about Ben’s statement on love at first sight. He believed in it or at least in a version of it he said. And she wondered if that poem was influenced by his love at first sight, considering it starts off from the moment his eyes laid upon them.

She started feeling something heavy sitting on her chest, as her emotions started to rage at what could have possibly caused him to feel that way about someone. Whoever it was, they had truly had an impact on him.

Seconds later they pulled up to Rey’s block, her home a couple of houses down. The night had officially settled in, there was no sun left in the sky.

She cleared her throat, “Thank you for everything Ben. I really had a great time today and I’m extremely grateful for-”.

“Don’t go,” was all he said to silence her.

“What,” she couldn’t even form the word, as her breath gave out, overwhelmed by the emotion in his.

“Please stay, don’t go home,” his eyes locked with hers, she could see the weariness there.

He always did this, every time he would give her a ride home. But, today he was more urgent than usual, the events from earlier probably haunting him. The image of Plutt earlier in his truck was enough to haunt anyone.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’ll be ok Ben, I promise. Whatever he was doing earlier, I’m sure he’s already blown over it.” This much she knew was true, Plutt was too impatient to dwell on something for the whole day. He would usually act on impulse immediately and if not then he was over it. She was pretty sure there was nothing waiting for her at home that she couldn’t handle.

He shook his head roughly, “Please don’t go.” His voice was heavy with an emotion that pulled at the lungs in her chest.

“I have to,” she whispered lowly, like she had no choice. She knew she really didn’t.

He gave out an exasperated sigh, his hands shaking on the steering wheel. “You don’t have to. You could come with me.”

“Ben,” she shuddered out, not even dwelling on what he meant by that. “Please don’t do this. We…we’ve been over this.”

He finally released the steering wheel and faced her, breathing out his anxiety. “Let me at least walk you to the neighbor’s gate.” She could see the helpless anger mixed with anxiety laying subtly in his eyes, attempting to plead with her.

She breathed out heavily but nodded.

They both stepped out of the truck and walked side by side. Rey leaning on him as the chill air kicked in. She started to shiver and within an instant he was removing his sweater and placing it around her.

“Thank you,” she whispered lightly.

He nodded and wrapped his arm around her smaller form to give her warmth. She leaned more into him absorbing his heat, he was always like a human heater. They continued their walk in silence, enjoying the sound of their feet on the ground, the night time sound of crickets and their breaths moving in and out evenly. It felt peaceful, it felt right.

They stopped right at the neighbor’s gate, shrouded by the tall bushes, clearly out of sight from her front porch. She removed herself from his embrace and started removing his sweater to give back to him.

“You keep it,” he told her softly. “You can always give it back to me later.” He tucked the much too big sweater around her more tightly and secured the top button.

She smiled and looked back up at him, “Thank you Ben, I’ll see you Monday morning?”

He nodded but his eyes were still so weary. She then slowly reached her hand up to cup his cheek, wishing to erase the strain from his face. “It’ll be ok Ben, I promise.” Her eyes were soft and warm and filled with an emotion that was hidden deep within her.

“Scio,” he mumbled as he turned his face quickly and placed his lips to her palm. He didn’t move them, but she could feel them trembling in her palm with each breath he took.

Her breath came out more heavily now, as she felt his lips in her palm. They were so soft, the sensation was sending shock waves throughout her frame.

Seconds later he pulled away and released her, thankful for the darkness shadowing his beaming red face. Rey too was grateful for the same reason.

“Goodbye Rey.”

She nodded without thinking, without even responding as she turned abruptly on her heels and dashed towards the house. She felt his eyes on her as she neared the front porch and turned one last time to look at him. He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes, she could see the worry and anxiety permanently etched there. They were telling her to come back to him, practically begging, a silent plea for her not to enter the house.

She had to blink away the emotion that was threatening to eat her up, as his eyes were on the verge of making her rush back to him, to his arms, to his warmth.

She tried to give him one last reassuring look and smile before opening the door and entering the house.

As she walked through the front door, she felt a blooming heat growing in her belly that travelled up to her chest and then her heart. Her heart was beating rapidly and the funny feeling made it skip beats. A feeling of euphoria washed through her, as she recalled his lips in her palm. 

This euphoria was suddenly halted as she entered the living room and eyed Plutt sitting in his usual seat, with a bottle in hand.

His eyes had locked onto her the moment she had come skipping through the front door. The warm feeling in her chest was replaced by a coldness, like the coldness in his dead soul.

“So,” he began like an eager child. “I see that things are going according to plan.” He leaned back in his chair as he put his feet up by the fireplace, attempting to gain some warmth there.

She ignored him completely as she moved towards her bedroom.

“I can’t say how much I am proud of you,” he hissed, as he casually tossed a small piece of wood into the fireplace.

“What are you talking about?” She finally snapped.

“You! You’re following my plan as intended. You and that Solo boy my god. At this rate, you’ll be pregnant by summer,” he stated with a sick and twisted excited glee.

“Seriously,” she scoffed. “You really need a new plan,” she barked at him, not hiding her irritation.

“No, the plan I have right now is working just fine. And if you would just stop playing hard to get and open up those bony thighs of yours, we could have a reeeeealy nice Christmas. I can already see the dollar signs gained by you having the mayor’s grandchild.”

She rolled her eyes at him, when had they ever had a real Christmas, the only ones she knew were filled with sorrow and agony.

“You’re disgusting, I’ll never let you use me _or_ him that way. We’ve been over this before,” her growl was feral and turning threatening.

“So that’s how it’s gona be then, huh,” he sneered at her as she opened her bedroom door.

After a moment’s heartbeat, he continued on.

“Did you enjoy your time at the movie theater,” he sang to her smoothly like a snake coiling to snap, ending it with a mocking laugh. 

She turned back to him furiously, “Why were you following us!” A terror suddenly ran through her bones at the thought of him knowing where they were all along. She felt violated, harassed and most of all afraid.

“Did you really think you could hide from me,” he spat at her as he stood up from his chair. The smell of liquor running hard off him. Besides the obvious, something wasn’t right with him, she felt the air around her turning dark.

“You’re nothing but a snake!” She roared, ignoring the ominous feeling in her gut. “You just love to prey off others don’t you,” that cold fire in her belly started to grow as her anger grew.

“But a merciful one,” he gleamed at her, shinning his teeth at her, like a displaying of fangs.

She snorted sarcastically and turned towards her room.

He then cleared his throat dramatically waiting for her reaction. “Dear Rey,” he read mockingly, “I’m glad you changed your mind about Mr. Darcy.”

She snapped her body back towards him like lightening, as she saw him holding the book that Ben had gifted to her. He was reading out loud the message that he had written for her inside the cover. His Christmas gift to her.

**She saw red**.

How _dar_e he go through her things and violate her that way!

“Hah! How desperate is this boy,” Plutt eyed the cover, ridiculing his penmanship.

“Give. That. Back. To. Me. Now.”

She stalked back towards him, like a lioness ready to pounce. Punctuating each word like it was a threat that he didn’t want to ignore.

“Oh wow, look at you getting all worked up over a silly book. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just as crazy about him as he is about you.” He laughed dramatically at her as she came closer.

“Give it to me now!” She roared, feeling the desperation roll off her shoulders.

“Only if you agree to the plan,” he clicked his tongue at her before plastering a menacing smile on his crooked lips.

“Go to hell!”

“Oh, I’m not going there just yet. But this might,” he dangled _Pride and Prejudice_ over the fire.

“No!!” She screamed, jumping towards him as he dangled it even further.

“If you take one more god forsaken step towards me, I swear on my mother’s grave, I’ll burn this book!” He snarled at her just as she was about to tackle him.

She halted her advance immediately, deflating her anger completely, feeling like a helpless child. She couldn’t take her eyes off the book.

He had trapped and tricked her, he had her right where he wanted her. She started to tremble at the growing helplessness within her. This was a battle she was about to lose. Why had she ignored the dark feeling she felt the moment she entered the house.

“Now Rey dear,” he taunted. “All you have to do is agree to our plan and you can have your precious book back.” He spoke to her like a stupid child, like she was a worthless piece of trash, too dumb to understand anything.

She started breathing heavily, her chest moving up and down dramatically with each breath she took. She was like a wild caged animal but without the cage, attempting to gain control and remain calm. She stayed like this for a few heartbeats, contemplating her ultimatums. She could always lie to him, act like she was agreeing to his plan and then take back what was hers.

The book meant more to her than her own life at this point. What she wouldn’t do for it, she didn’t know how far she wouldn’t stop.

There were so many nights recently where she couldn’t sleep, and she would read and cradle the book to her chest. It was like her comfort and support, something to lean on when the dark thoughts came to haunt her at night. She always kept it near her pillow and for some reason it had felt like a piece of Ben was there with her. In the middle of the night when her loneliness was the greatest, she would keep his gift to her near her.

After a considerable amount of time, she decided to falsely agree, because it was the only way to keep a part of Ben with her.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what,” he spat back at her.

“Yes, I agree to the plan,” she gritted out, hating herself for playing along with his sick game.

“That doesn’t sound too convincing. You have to mean it!”

Rey’s eyes flashed to the crackling fire for a split second and then back to the book, the sound crawling in her skin. Plutt saw the desperation in her eyes and fed off it.

“Get on your knees…and beg,” he sneered, attempting to make her bend to his will.

“What?!”

“You heard me girl. You want this book. Get. On. Your. Knees. And. Beg.” He punctuated his words with the same tone she had used when she spoke to him that way. “Convince me, do whatever it is you have to do to persuade me!”

Rey glared at him with a hatred that could kill a thousand men. But she had no choice, the view of the book over the fire was enough to kill and disable her.

Ironic, how not that long ago she was about to burn the book herself, when she was naïve and misjudged Ben about his father. But now she realized how much more stupid she had been that day when she almost burned it.

She slowly went down onto her knees, not taking her eyes off the book. She hated herself more then Plutt in this very moment. How stupid could she possibly be for letting him treat her like this, like some slave begging their master. She was only agreeing out of desperation, which she learned can affect the way you think and act. Desperation was the worst kind of feeling in the world. Her eyes started to glisten, but she wouldn’t let them fall.

She would do anything for that book to be back in her hands, and Plutt knew it.

“Good girl, that wasn’t so hard, see,” he pulled the book from over the fire and stretched it out towards her.

A cool relief washed through her at the sight of the book being removed near the fire. Rey’s trembling hand reached up for the book, like it was a heavenly boon, a precious treasure that could never be replaced. 

Her fingertips barely grazed the hardcover when Plutt snatched it back at the last second and thrusted it into the fireplace. A cruel laughter escaping his throat.

“No!!” She cried out in agony as her hand dived into the fire, attempting to rescue it before it was completely destroyed. The scorching heat was enough to make her hand fall off, but she grasped the book and yanked it out safely, only to have Plutt slam her to floor and throw it back into the fireplace. She hit the ground so hard, that her head slammed against the floor with a sharp snap. A loud ringing sound pierced her ears.

She watched from the floor with a sideways view as the book went up completely in flames. Her head was resting on the cold ground, her entire body lopsided, as she watched the message from Ben burn into ash. The book had landed in the fire with the cover open, and the last thing she saw of it was his beautiful handwriting completely being obliterated.

She stayed down on the ground, as she finally let the tears fall, but didn’t make a sound. It was the most silent cry she had ever given herself.

Something about the sound of the pages burning made her realize something. It made her realize how much she hated fire, how much she hated how fire completely destroys and makes life miserable. How burns are the worst kind of pain a human can ever experience.

The image of the outpost in Jakku burned to the ground that she had witnessed earlier during the newsreel flashed before eyes. Fire had always caused her to experience the worst kinds of pain imaginable.

Fire never did anything good, it had always been responsible for taking everything good from her life.

Right now, she was experiencing her own personal hell. Except the fire wasn’t hot, it was cold, a cold fire that threatened to consume her soul. A cold burn that makes everything else numb and unfeeling.

Plutt scoffed as he picked up a pike and shoved the book into the fire even further, making sure that every last bit of it went up in flames. It was like pouring salt in an open wound.

Rey should have known better than to trust him to give her the book back. She should have tackled him right then and there, how stupid could she be. If he was going to burn the book anyways, she would have been better off fighting him.

She wouldn’t be making that mistake again, she had learned her lesson. Something in her snapped and for once she decided not to let the cold fire consume her.

Instead, she became the fire. The fire that would consume Unkar Plutt and burn everything down with it. It was more than just a book to her and he was going to learn the hard way just how feral she could be. The world may think she is crazy going berserk over a book, but to hell with it!

She shot up from the ground instantly, ignoring the ache in her head. She reached for the nearest object she could find and thrusted it directly at Plutt’s head.

The glass vase that hit the back of his head made him stumble as it landed with a shattering sound.

Her eyes then shot to the next nearest object, she picked up the sitting stool and aimed it directly at his spine. The stool slammed against his back with a hard smack that sent him on his knees.

But that wasn’t it, she wanted more, the fire wanted more.

She continued to throw objects at him repeatedly, relentlessly as he cried out from the assault. She was like a wild beast set lose, a lioness tearing its’ prey apart, piece by piece.

Every single agony he had ever caused her made her even more aggressive.

Finally, she grabbed the pike out of the fireplace with a snarl and beat him repeatedly on his back. A darkness started to take over her and she let it. It told her to take back what was hers, to get revenge and to kill. She was going to kill him and the thought didn’t even phase or scare her.

She never thought in her life that it would be possible for her to kill another human being, but now she wasn’t so sure. Vengeance for what he’d done to the gift that Ben had given to her felt exhilarating.

She felt a great satisfaction wash over, as he cried out in agony, every single hit was an increase to the amount of power she gained. She started to smile viciously and knew she wasn’t herself, but didn’t care.

Why did revenge always taste this _good_ and why hadn’t she done this a long time ago. It could’ve saved her a lot of suffering and she could have killed him sooner.

She was so high on her power over him that she didn’t stop striking him no matter how hard he cried out.

However… her power didn’t last long.

As she raised her hand high to strike him again, he turned abruptly, using his sheer weight to knock her to the ground.

She stood back up quickly, but not quickly enough. Plutt was on his feet now, a banged up bloody mess and if she didn’t act quick, he was surely going to kill her based off the look on his face.

He lunged for her but she dodged him. This was it, she had to flee now, her physicality alone wasn’t enough to face him. His weight was ten times the size of hers, his muscles were too strong and if he caught her, it would all be over. He would smash her into a million pieces.

She had her chance when he was down on his knees, but that chance was over now.

It was time to run, she had had her fun, her power trip, but it was all over now.

She dashed to the front door of the house, almost out, almost free but cried out before she hit the porch.

He had thrown a metal wrench directly at her head causing her to stumble. The stinging in her skull ached terribly and before she knew it, he had his hands around her neck.

She felt the moment her airway had been completely cut off. He lifted her off the ground, choking her, squeezing his hands around her neck.

Every time she tried to pull him off, he squeezed harder. Rey started to see stars in her eyes and felt her body convulsing. She winced and the choking noises escaping her made a cold fear run down her spine.

This was it, this is how she was going to die, how her miserable life was going to end. He was going to choke her to death, her life started flashing before her eyes in brief but swift images.

He dragged her to the front room, not releasing his grip, when she felt herself slipping into unconsciousness.

“Oh no you don’t,” he snarled before slamming her to the ground and releasing his hands from her neck.

She turned to the side and gasped so loud, she felt the moment her lungs had expanded again. Coughing noises ripped through her throat and the gasps she was taking sounded like she had been under water for too long. She then started to choke up violently on the oxygen that was forcing its’ way back into her airway.

Her body was shaking and she felt her chest convulsing. The fire in her lungs burned horribly as she gasped for each intake of breath.

“I want you to be awake for this,” he taunted her like a cruel torturer as he pulled his pocketknife from his belt.

A terror caused her to gasp even more violently as he hovered down on her and placed his knee on her stomach, locking her into place on the ground.

She was shaking as he attempted to open up his pocketknife. He growled out his frustration as the switch blade wouldn’t budge open. It was jammed shut.

Rey took the opportunity to thrust her fist into his throat which caught him off guard. He jumped back, surprised by her sneak attack. She then punched him directly in the nose, like it was the fight of her life.

Which technically it was, there would only be one of them left alive once this was all over. And she was sure it wouldn’t be her…once she hit the ground, she knew she wasn’t ever getting back up.

Plutt roared as blood gushed from his nose and spilt down onto her cheek. But she didn’t stop, she punched him again and again. If she was going to die, she would go down swinging.

“You little whore!” He screamed as he brought her head close and headbutted her so hard that her mind went blank.

This was it, she had lost.

Plutt then continued to punch her repeatedly, over and over again in her face as she lay defenseless on the floor. Her eyes were starting to swell shut and she felt the blood oozing from her nose and mouth.

She then felt the punches and kicks that came to her body and limbs and decided it was best to give in at this point. To accept her fate with welcome arms, to accept her death whole heartedly. It was better this way, to just go numb and silent as he took her from the land of living.

It was better to go this way than to go in fear and agony. And so, as he roared every time he kicked her side or punched her chest, she didn’t cry out. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of killing her with the pleasure of hearing her cries.

Not even as he dragged her across the floor by her hair had she made one single sound. Not even the repeated hits to her legs by the spike from the fireplace had caused her to cry out. She didn’t even scream on the inside.

He was punishing her like a ragdoll yet she wouldn’t make one sound. It was as if the pain and torture had maimed her voice. She would never speak again…

As she started slipping into unconsciousness from the torture to her entire body, her mind started thinking over her life and the things that transpired. She thought about the small amount of good things that happened in her life.

She thought about her friends, she thought about Rose, Paige, Poe, Finn, Chewie, Maz, Lando and all the people connected to them who had shown her kindness. She thought about Leia Organa and the warm motherly feeling she had caused her to experience, despite everything that happened with her son.

She thought about how she never got to say goodbye to them, how sorry she was for leaving them all so soon. Her mind then wandered to her parents, she never got the chance to see them again.

If they would ever come back to Jakku…she wouldn’t be there waiting for them.

A small tear escaped her swollen eye, her face was so puffy she wasn’t even sure it had fallen.

And lastly, before her mind and heart would completely give out from this violent abuse, she thought of him.

She thought of his beautiful smile, the one that was contagious and alluring to the point where it made you smile back. She thought of his eyes that were warm and intensely attractive. She thought of his deep laugh, his warm hands, the strength in his arms and mostly she thought of his stout chest that housed his beating heart. His beating heart that had given her peace and lulled her to sleep.

Another tear escaped the corner of her swollen eye as she realized she never got to say goodbye to Ben. She had missed her chance earlier, when he had said goodbye but she was so dazed that she couldn’t even respond except by turning and fleeing to this house.

The guilt ate at her, almost made her not want to die, not to let go. But it was pointless, she would never see him again, and she hoped with everything in her heart that he would be ok living on without her. That he would forget her, not blame himself for her death and live the rest of his life happily, just as she imagined earlier.

_“Goodbye Ben… I…I…”_

Was the last thought her brain could allow her to form before giving out. She couldn’t finish the thought.

Weather she meant it as a friend or more, she couldn’t say in her dying moments. Even if she did sound pathetic or knew that he would never love her back anyway, she just knew that she loved him. Maybe she was just so desperate to be loved in her dying moments and that’s why she felt it. Regardless, she wouldn’t take the feeling back.

For the girl who knew nothing of love her whole life, she at least got to pretend that she did before dying.

The last image in her head before slipping into utter darkness, was of the chubby toddler from her imagination that she had seen earlier. She saw her chubby little legs and wild black hair before giving out completely.

***

Finn Trooper, or now Calrissian, taking on his adopted father’s name, was resting outside the front porch to his house on a net hammock, staring up into the stars as the night air filled the sky.

He was using one of his legs to push himself back and forth as he swayed on the hammock. His hands were up resting behind his head as he gazed upward, a satisfactory smile permanently etched on his face.

His head felt light and his chest airy, he felt like he was on cloud 9.

“_Could this day be any more perfect?_” He thought to himself as a soft chuckle escaped his lips. He wondered if all guys felt like this after a successful date, the blushing smile that Rose wore the entire time was enough to render him speechless. They even got free movie tickets from the gentleman at the ticket booth, which was quite a surprise.

Finn was so lost in his successful thoughts that he didn’t hear the screen door open and shut quietly. His father had joined him and leaned gently against the outside of the house as he eyed his adopted son, swaying back and forth like his head was up in the clouds.

“So,” he started, as he adjusted his velvet cape around his shoulders. “How did it go?” He grinned down at the young man, assuming to know his answer by the obvious smile he wore.

Finn cleared his throat, “It was good, nice.” His smile grew wider.

“Ohhh boy, I know that look,” he teased. “Did you earn a kiss from the young lady?”

The younger man froze, attempting to hide the embarrassment from his cheeks. “Ugh, yeah. I mean no- I mean here.” He pointed to his cheek, indicating that there is where he was kissed.

“A kiss on the cheek huh, I’d say that’s pretty good,” Lando congratulated him, his smooth suave voice giving him reassurance.

Finn shrugged casually, “Yeah I guess. The date went really well and she was really happy.”

“I can tell and so are you,” he laughed as he gently kicked his son on the hammock, causing him to sway more. “Your mother is dying to hear all about it. She hasn’t had much to entertain her or talk about since your sister left to college.”

He groaned, “Ugh, I don’t feel like talking to her about it. She always probes too much.”

“She’s your mother, what do expect,” he pushed his son again, swaying the hammock a little further.

“Touche,” he sighed out. “She was always talking about dating and gushing about boys with Jannah. Perhaps she needs to come back for a few days.”

“She will, once spring break comes around.”

“I miss her,” Finn responded suddenly, trying to hide the emotion from his voice. He had never been separated from his sister ever since he can remember. It was difficult for him the day she left for college, it was difficult for all of them, especially L3.

Lillian or “L3” was the only mother they had ever known, and they were the only children she had ever had.

“I know, me too. She’s only an hour away, yet your mom is dying, she can’t handle having her gone. But, it’s for a good reason. Your sister is doing a good thing and we want her to do her best. The separation is only temporary.”

“I know, I know,” Finn breathed out.

“So, back to our previous conversation. When do we get to meet the good ol’ doc’s daughter?”

“Ugh,” Finn placed his hands on his face. “I don’t want to think about that stuff yet. I’m terrified to meet her family to be honest, even though I’m sure she would love ours, I don’t want to rush into that stuff yet.”

“You don’t think her family would like you?” Lando questioned his son curiously.

“I don’t know, I think I’m just anxious. She seems nervous every time she brings up her parents and I’m not sure what their deal is. We barely went on one date, there’s need to rush into these things.”

“True that, families can be quite interesting,” the older man sighed out as he gazed up into the sky, counting the stars.

Contemplating what to say next, he decided to give his son some advice, some advice that has saved him.

After a moment Lando cleared his throat, “Just know this, dealing with families and relationships won’t always be easy. Trust me, I know from experience. Your mother’s family hated me at first, when they first saw me, her sisters crinkled their noses at me,” he scoffed recalling the memory.

“But with time things get better and they learn to accept you. And even if they don’t, you can lay your head on your pillow each night knowing that you did the best you could and tried to build something with them. You can’t change people, you can only do your best to get along with them. And no matter what happens, if your feelings for this girl are real, then there’s nothing you two can’t face together.”

“Wow, that actually makes me feel a lot better,” Finn sat up and faced his father. “I’m surprised by such advice and wisdom, considering you said you were quite the player in your day,” he gave his father a look, followed by a mischievous grin.

“Yeah, I know, I know.” He admitted unwillingly. “I just didn’t meet the right girl until I met your mother. She’s the only woman who could put up with me, put me in my place and humble me, in a good way though.”

Finn chuckled, “Thanks for the advice.”

“That’s what I’m here for, talking from experience. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. It’ll be a difficult road if you can’t build a relationship with her family. Ever heard the saying once you marry a girl, you marry her family too. That’s a true story bro.”

Finn laughed as his father padded him on the back. “But don’t wait too long, your mother is gona find some way or another to get her here, so watch out. She works in mysterious ways,” he gave him an exaggerated head shake, his voice taking on a dramatic edge.

“Thanks for the warning,” he laughed again, shaking his head thinking about the ridiculous antics his adoptive mother would do to get Rose into this house for a visit.

“I’m gona head inside, you gona stay out here all night?”

“No,” Finn shook his head. “It’s getting late, I should probably head inside too.”

Lando chuckled at the gleeful sprint in his son’s legs as they both entered the house.

It was a quarter till midnight when Finn heard a sound coming from downstairs. He was laying in his bed, unable to sleep as he kept thinking about his date and how great it was. He was already thinking of where he would take Rose next or what they would do. He started to list places off his fingers when he heard the sound again, this time a little louder.

It sounded like a gentle tapping sound, almost like a knock. And if he were asleep by now, he’s sure he wouldn’t have even heard the sound in the first place.

He turned on his lamp and crept down the stairs quietly, wondering who in the world would be at his house this late. His parents were fast asleep still in their bedroom, not having been disrupted by the sound.

As he hit the bottom of the stairs, the gentle tapping sound returned, except a little more weaker than before. His eyes snapped to the front door and that’s when he saw the shadow behind it through the screen.

Someone was at the door. And they were deadly silent.

A fear struck him quickly, and if he didn’t act fast, their house may soon have an intruder inside.

On instinct, he reached for the baseball bat stashed hidden between the coat rack for times like this. Even though his father had guns stashed away throughout the house, he didn’t have enough time to retrieve one.

He gripped the bat tight as he neared the door, the shadowy figure hadn’t moved, not an inch.

In his head he had two options, open the door slowly and observe the intruder or, open it quickly and start swinging. The latter option he felt was better.

So, within two seconds he had switched on the porch light and flung the door open, ready to strike only to have the baseball bat collapse out of his hands at the sight before him.

The shadowy figure that had been behind the door was suddenly much smaller now. And as Finn stepped closer, he realized that the shadow was in fact a girl but not just any girl.

The girl before him was a bloody mess, beaten to a pulp. Both of her eyes were swollen shut, purple, bruised and cut. There was blood coming out of her nose and the sides of her mouth and her face looked disfigured.

His eyes then traveled down to her neck, where there were deep bruises and finger marks, it looked like she had been choked repeatedly.

But that wasn’t the worst part. Her chest and collar bone were purple and bruised, with cut marks littering her shoulders.

There was dry blood on her arms and legs and bumps which looked like welts littering her extremities. Her dress was torn and tattered and she was barefoot only having one shoe on. The deep bruises that scattered her entire body, made Finn’s eyes budge from his sockets.

The girl looked dead, pale, like she was a ghost. He must be in some sort of nightmare, having this horrific looking girl show up at his doorstep in the middle of the night.

The girl was hunched over, on the verge of collapsing from the amount of bruising and bleeding. She looked tired and wearied, like the journey here had been too great for her, like she was hanging on by her last limb.

Most of all she looked like her heart was about to stop and her body would give way to death. Not a single sound escaped her, her swollen eyes couldn’t even meet his, he wasn’t even sure if she was looking at him or not.

As he took a step closer, he realized who the girl was even though he had a feeling the moment he laid his eyes upon her, even though he was in denial that it was her. He didn’t want to believe it…

“Rey?” His voice came out in a heartbroken whisper, it felt like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his lungs shut.

The moment hung in the air between them before the girl collapsed and went unconscious.

“REY!” Finn caught her head before it could slam to the ground. He shook her violently, fear and agony mixing into one.

“Rey! Reeeeeeyyyy!”

He checked the side of her neck for a pulse but found none. He thought she was dead. Before the tears could escape his eyes like a dam breaking lose, he cradled her broken and possibly dead body.

A light from inside the house finally turned on and before Finn knew it, he was screaming from the top of his lungs for his father.

“Lando!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so 1st, Rey was NOT sexually assaulted in this chapter, just want to make that clear. 2nd this is probably going to be the most violent chapter unless things change with the war but my intent is to keep the rating teen. Just think of it as PG-13. 3rd This chapter marks the beginning of Plutt's exit out of the story completely. The next two chapters will be heavily focused on Rey and Plutt and I'll be putting up some heavy warnings. Plutt will be completely gone from the entire story after this mess is resolved. I don't want to torture Rey longer than I have to. 4th I want to try something different by telling the story from different character's point of view (kinda like I did with Finn at the end of this chapter). The next chapter will not be completely from Rey's point of view. 5th I'll go ahead and translate the Latin for ya. "Pulchra"-Beautiful, "Scio"-I know, "Nolite flere puella"-Don't cry sweetheart. I got these translations off google so if they're off, sorry. 6th Snow White came out in 1938 and since I'm a Disney addict I had to incorporate it somehow. Zorro and Fantasia were also released during this time frame in the story. And most importantly please You Tube "We'll Meet Again" by Vera Lynn it's the reylo song for this chapter and story. There are two versions and the one in this chapter is referring to the 1939 version. I had trouble trying to post the link. I prefer the 1940's version but the lyrics are a bit different so I'm using the 1939 version for now. Please comment and let me know what you think of the story so far. Trust me it is going somewhere I promise. Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm so so sorry I couldn't update last month. I try my best to stick to monthly updates, but the editing process took forever. I'm hoping I'll be able to stick to that schedule but I won't be making any more promises, I don't want to disappoint! I'm so sorry! Anywho, please enjoy this chapter filled with nothing but angst. This won't be a very happy chapter as it will revolve on everyone's reactions to the events from the previous chapter. This chapter jumps A LOT. There are many different character pov and it's intentional for the story and I hope it makes sense. I hope you all can keep up. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 24

Spring 1941 cont’d

Lando was fast asleep when he suddenly heard his son move about down the hallway quietly. He noted his son did this often, he would either get up to get some water or go hunting for a midnight snack. Other times he had difficulty sleeping and this would cause him to move about at night. Sometimes Lando would get up to check on him and other times let him be.

When Jannah first left to college not too long ago, his son had trouble the first couple nights. He knew he was having withdrawals, having never been separated from his sister before. Both him and his wife had gotten up with him in the middle of the night and just sat with him as he expressed his feelings and concerns. They had been there to hold his hand and embrace him during the transition. And he hoped now more than ever that his son would be okay and that with time the separation would be easier for all of them. He would do anything for his children, ease their pain and bring them comfort. They were like his own and he would never let anyone else tell him otherwise.

But he noticed he was extra quiet tonight as he moved down the stairs, not making a single creak on each step he took down. He faintly heard his son pause at the bottom of the stairs before silently moving towards the front door.

This wasn’t new either, he had done this a few times before too. He would step out to get some fresh air to clear his head. It would usually happen after a nightmare or bad insomnia.

He then heard his son grab something from the coat rack before swinging the front door open and dropping an object on the floor with a loud clank a few seconds later.

Lando finally opened his eyes, curiosity getting the best of him. There was only one object in the coat rack that could make that kind of sound on the ground. It sounded like the wooden bat they kept stashed there for obvious reasons. His wife next to him started to stir at the sound on the front porch.

There was a pause from his son that seemed to stretch on for forever but he heard him whisper something, something that was too low for him to make out.

A heartbeat later he heard his son’s voice ring out loud and clear. “REY!”

Lando jumped up into a sitting position, something in his chest squeezing at the immediate pain in his son’s voice. His wife finally joined him as they both sat up and looked at each other in the darkness, feeling the ominous air swirl around the house.

Something wasn’t right….

“Rey! Reeeeeeyyy!”

Lando shot out of bed followed by L3 as they dashed to the hallway towards the staircase. She switched on the light to hallway as they hit the stairs, not wanting to be lost in the darkness.

When they were about halfway down the stairs, he heard the most agonizing sound that ever escaped his son’s lips as he cried out for him.

“Lando!”

Not once had he ever dreaded hearing the sound of his name until now. A terrible dread took them over and they were practically clawing at each other down the staircase to reach their son.

They hit the bottom of the stairs and noticed the front door was wide open with their son sitting on the ground outside on the front porch. They could only see the back of him as he cradled someone and rocked them gently, sobs wracking his back.

Lando stepped outside slowly as he heard the rough deep cries his son was giving out. As him and his wife came closer, they finally examined who exactly their son was holding. When their eyes landed on the body, their breaths gave out completely. It felt like their voices had been completely muted.

They thought their son was holding a dead girl. 

The body was bloodied and severely damaged, her skin looked so pale and Lando swore he didn’t see her breathing. There was no breath escaping her mouth or no rise or fall of the chest.

L3 gasped and placed her hands over mouth, this alerted Finn that his parents were here.

Lando came closer until he was right in front of them, each step towards them was like a heavy weight on his heart. L3 forced herself to move towards her husband, although the agony was already gripping her soul just looking at the poor girl.

Their son looked up at them now through his sorrow and Lando knew this was forever going to damage his son. He would never be the same….

“Dad,” he choked out as more tears streamed down his face. “She’s dead, she’s dead!”

“No,” Lando shook his head and within a flash he was kneeling next to the two kids, praying his son was wrong.

“She’s not breathing dad, she’s not breathing!”

L3 kneeled next to her son wrapping her arm around his back, trying to hold back her own sobs.

“I checked her neck, there’s no beat!” Finn placed his head on top of Rey’s and rocked her gently. As if rocking her would somehow bring her back, wake her up from the dead.

“Let me check,” Lando’s voice was thick and if he didn’t act quick, his family was going to fall apart before his very eyes. He grabbed the damaged girl’s arm and placed his fingers on the inside of her wrist. The girl was so cold, a shiver ran up his arm just at the contact of touching her frozen arm. He took deep breaths before applying pressure and searching for a pulse.

He heard his wife gently whispering to their son in his ear, trying to bring him comfort as he searched for any movement in the girl’s artery.

A few seconds later, he felt it. The gentle but weak movement of the girl’s wrist.

She was alive, but barely.

“She’s alive,” Lando breathed out, his agony slightly sedated as he realized she wasn’t dead.

“What!” Finn practically shouted.

“I feel a pulse, in her wrist. It’s faint, but she’s not gone.”

“What do we do dad, what do we do,” his broken voice made him sound like a five-year-old child begging out of desperation for help. He had never heard his son speak this way before, he was always so strong and defiant when faced with adversity. Even when he first came home after the adoption had he never heard such desperation out of him. But something in his voice now made Lando’s heart feel like it was being squeezed painfully.

“Lilian, call the doctor, I’ll get a hold of the police.”

“The police!” L3 protested.

“Yes, this wasn’t an accident.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Finn sniffed as his eyes hardened, resolve turning in them. “Look at her injuries,” he interjected, a knowing look on his face. Something dark twisted on his features.

Both of his parents took a few seconds to eye the poor girl’s injuries, concluding that their son was right. Something started twisting in both of their guts.

“It was him…, it was Plutt!” A fiery rage took over his son before his very eyes. Lando saw something consume him from the inside out and it frightened him greatly.

“He’s the only one would do such a thing,” Finn gritted out, hatred laced with every word he spoke. His agony was suddenly replaced with violent rage.

“Plutt? Her foster father?” Lando knew there was something up with that man. The few times he had encountered him, he knew he was no good. And to discover that he was Rey’s caretaker always made something vile rise out of his throat. He should have known better, he should’ve tried to acquire the girl before it was too late. Now it was too late.

“He’s no father to her! He’s a MONSTER!”

“Ok, it’s ok, calm down,” Lando placed his hands on his son’s shoulder’s noting how they shook with rage. He needed to assure him that they would deal with this, the right way and that everything would be ok. If he was responsible, Unkar Plutt was not going to get away with this, this much he knew. He wouldn’t rest until this vile man was behind bars.

“How dare he lay a finger on her!” L3 finally roared, feeling her son’s fire rub off on her. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand it was abusive men, abusive parents. Something broiled within her bones as they cried out for justice. If this man was truly responsible, he would have to be stopped immediately, she wouldn’t rest until he was.

“We’ll take care of this, ok. I promise. Lil, get the dock on the phone asap while I get a hold of the sheriff.” Lando tried to keep his voice even but urgency plagued every word he spoke.

L3 nodded before squeezing her son’s arms in reassurance and rushing back inside the house to call the doctor.

One thing was for sure in Lando’s mind as he kneeled next to his son and helped carry Rey’s body to the truck. None of them were ever going to be the same after this night.

***

Hue Tico rolled out of bed in the middle of the night, having received a desperate emergent call from a woman whom he considered a friendly acquaintance. He had expected to be called if he was being truthfully honest with himself. He was the night doctor for a few weeks and none of the other doctors wanted to pick up a night shift. Most of them complained that they had families to care for and couldn’t be gone all night taking care of other people’s problems. Which was understandable but it came with the job.

And so, wanting to gain good favor with the other doctors who mistreated him sometimes and were prejudiced, he agreed to take shifts in the night. He was hoping they would respect him more as a doctor considering he was doing them a favor that he surely didn’t have to pay. Deep down he knew it was pointless though, you can’t buy people’s approval or acceptance. You can only do your best to persuade, which is what he thought he was doing by working in the wee of hours of night.

The phone on his nightstand had blared right next to his ear, each ring made him want to smash it with his pillow. He almost didn’t answer the phone that had jolted him out of sleep but considered the consequences if he didn’t.

He wondered what could have caused the women on the other line to sound so urgent as she practically yelled at him for them to meet him. He’d known the woman Lilian since they were younger, given that she had defended him when he first came to this town. The woman was always vocal with her beliefs and fought for people’s rights whenever others would try to snare them away. This was the case with him, when he first started practicing medicine in this town. Some people were cruel, racist and prejudice but good ol’ Lilian wasn’t going to let that settle well. The woman was a firehouse and if you got on her bad side or did something cruel based on the color of someone’s skin, watch out, cuz she was coming for you. He respected that about her and looked up to her in a sense.

He left his home quietly, not wanting to alert his family at his departure in the middle of the night.

Dr. Tico yawned as he entered the medical bay, waiting for the party to arrive with the young girl that was in need of desperate medical attention. There was something about Lilian’s voice over the phone that made the hairs on his arms stand up, this poor girl must have found herself in some serious trouble. 

A few minutes later he heard a truck drive up, followed by not so hushed voices outside. Seconds later Lando Calrissian came busting through the hospital’s doors carrying a young girl who looked dead beyond all reasons. He was followed by his wife and son who trailed quickly behind him.

As they came rushing up to him, Hue Tico dropped his clip board and pen, as he eyed closer the horrific scene before him. The sound of his clipboard echoed on the polished floors loudly. The girl must surely be dead….

“Doc, she needs help,” Lando Calrissian’s voice boomed beside him, as he nodded silently in agreement and turned to call out for the night nurse closest by. He didn’t want to panic but this girl was either dead or surely dying.

The nurse and aide rushed her onto a gurney and led her away into the examination room. Dr. Tico’s thoughts were spiraling at the thought of what could have possibly happened to this girl. He didn’t want to think about it, he just wanted to reassure that she wasn’t gone.

Before dashing into the examination room, Lando Calrissian stopped him by the shoulder urgently. “I think I have reason to believe this was assault. I’ve already contacted the sheriff, they should be here any minute.”

Dr. Tico nodded, dreading hearing the story behind this horrific scene. He had a feeling that this was the case and in the back of his head wanted nothing more than to euthanize the perpetrator.

“The girl is Rey by the way,” Lando whispered hollowly as he released his hold on him, sadness taking over his smooth features.

The doctor’s eyes widened as his face twisted in agonizing realization. “No, it can’t be,” he choked out, shock and disbelief clear on his face.

But suddenly, he believed him. Behind the blood and bruising, he knew he had seen this girl’s face before. A familiarization he couldn’t quite connect until now.

“I wish it wasn’t true,” Lando’s voice came out thick and he had to swallow the lump in his throat, as his eyes became glassy.

Dr. Tico nodded solemnly as he turned and left towards the nurses who were guiding his daughter’s friend to the examination room. He now felt an even heavier weight on his chest with each step he took, as he attempted to fathom how in the world he was going to tell his daughter about her dearest friend. The only real friend she had in a long time besides her sister Paige. Perhaps he could spare her but he knew that endeavor would not last….

The doctor had to shove his sorrow and the thought of his daughter’s heartbroken eyes to the side as he entered the examination room and ordered the girl’s clothes to be removed from her broken body.

***

Leia Organa was sitting in the back seat of her car as her chauffeur drove her through town to reach her destination. Today was Sunday and she was supposed to be attending morning service, the whole town expected her to be there, as per usual. And while she would much prefer staying at home and spending time with her sons, she knew she had a duty to fulfil. Her duty was always pulling her away from her family, it was the norm for her.

It’s not that she minded the Sunday services though, they usually brought her peace. It was the people at the services that drove her nuts sometimes.

She wanted a place of refuge and what should have been a good place ended up turning into a house full of hypocrites and gossipers. Not everyone who attended fell into this category, which is why she continued to attend. The few amount of good people were always worth the sacrifice, even when having to deal with people like Caroline Hux.

“They’re all nothing but a bunch of old yuppies,” Han used to grumble whenever they had to interact with such people. She smiled as she recalled her husband’s rough voice and roughish smile he used to give her whenever he capped on the “yuppies”.

Her smile faded as she dwelled on the thought of missing him. She always missed him, and she knew there wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t. But she couldn’t dwell on such things, not if she wanted to keep her sanity.

But today she wasn’t going to church, she was going to the hospital. Lando had called for her early this morning, urging her to come quietly and meet them there. Something was off in his voice and she knew it, yet he wouldn’t tell her exactly what was wrong.

She felt a pit in her stomach at the thought of him or anyone in his family being in the hospital. She hoped he was safe and sound and maybe it was something else he was calling her in for.

Leia ordered her driver to stop as they came up to the parking lot. She stepped out once the driver opened her door and felt the chill morning air sneak up her arms and face. She tightened her cashmere coat a little tighter around her frame and began heading towards the hospital’s double doors.

Once inside she noted the ward was quieter than usual, not that she came that often though. Of course she funded the charity work here and even supplied the hospital with new supplies. But she hardly ever visited such places and only came now out of the urgency in her old friend’s voice. The last time she had been here had been with her son, when he went on a violent rage and smashed in the glass hutch with his fist. He ended up needing stitches, and her and Poe had to practically drag him here. Ben had fought them the whole time but she didn’t care, she wasn’t gona let her son bleed out to death.

That was not too long after Han died….

She shoved the memory away, knowing it would do her no good dwelling on it.

As she entered, her eyes roamed the medical bays, seeing only a patient or two sleeping quietly on their beds with a nurse by their side. The place seemed calm and contrasted the urgent call she received early this morning.

However, the building was eerily quiet.

A few moments later a young nurse aide approached her after coming out of a room towards the back of the ward. The young girl looked tired, worn out and her eyes were red, like she had been crying all night or hadn’t slept. Her white apron was soiled and she appeared disheveled, she didn’t look a day over 16.

“Madam Mayor,” the young aide curtsied politely although not as polished, her tired body not allowing her. “We’ve been expecting you. Please let me inform Mr. Calrissian of your arrival.” The young girl slightly bowed her head at her and took off towards the back where she had come from. There was a form of secrecy to her manner and she wondered why.

A few moments later her old friend came out of the same back area and walked towards her slowly.

If Leia was being truthfully honest with herself, he looked terrible. Perhaps something did happen to him or his family. She dreaded finding out.

“Leia,” Lando greeted her softly with a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Though she was used to being formally greeted, she never cared about it when it came to her closest friends and family. She came over to her old friend and placed her hand on his forearm. “Lando, is everything alright?” Her raspy voice was laced with concern and worry.

“Not really princess,” he breathed out sorrowfully with his eyes casted downwards.

“Oh Lando,” she breathed out while shaking her head and grasping his arm a little tighter. She hadn’t been called that in years. The old nickname he just used for her made a flood of memories flash though her head.

It’s what Han used to call her when they were younger, when they had all first met. At first it had annoyed her, she was young and prideful and easily offended when made to feel weak. The word “princess” made her feel like some damsel in distress, like some weak creature who needed to be coddled. And Han was persistent in calling her princess which drove her mad.

Later when they were married, he had justified the nickname by stating that she was “his” princess and he her prince. She would always roll her eyes at him whenever he called her “Princess Leia” and look for something to throw at his face playfully. The nickname had stuck even amongst their closest friends and loved ones, and she decided to just let it be.

Later on when Ben was born, he had insisted on changing the name to queen, since their son would be a prince. She remembered he used to march around the house calling out “Queen Leia” whenever their son had a dirty diaper or was hungry for her breast. “Thou son is waiting for you!” He was always so theatrical and charming whenever it came to caring for him as a baby. He knew nothing about caring for an infant yet he took it all in full stride and gave it the best shot he had.

“Queen Leia” didn’t stick though, everyone around her insisted on keeping “princess” and her husband ended up accepting defeat ungracefully. It didn’t matter though, she knew she was royalty in his eyes, regardless if she was a queen or princess.

Those were the good days…before things started falling apart.

Leia cleared her throat, bring herself back from her walk down memory lane, “Please Lando, tell me what’s wrong. What can I do to help?” She wanted to ease the distress from her old friend’s face.

“It’s a long story,” he breathed out heavily as if there weights on his chest. “But we need your help, we can’t do this without you.”

“What? What is it that I can do?” She desperately observed his face looking for something in his eyes that could tell her what she needed to do.

He sighed again with a hard edge to his eyes. “Come with me to the surgical bay.”

She nodded, and followed after him, as they entered the private room in the back. It was a relatively larger room with medical supplies spread about and inside was Dr. Tico who was talking quietly with sheriff Biggs. The curtain was pulled over the examination table with someone laying on it.

“Mayor Organa,” both men greeted as she approached them.

She was surprised to see the sheriff, he was an old time friend as well who had helped her father Bail in the past. She wondered what had warranted the sheriff’s presence and why he was here along with herself. The dark and tense looks in their eyes did not go unnoticed.

“Leia,” Lando started as the other men came in closer to their circle. “Something…terrible has happened,” he paused trying to gain the strength to continue.

Her eyes shot to him.

“It-it’s about Rey. I’m sure you know who were talking about.”

“Rey?” Of course she knew who they were talking about. “Rey” was the current obsession of her son and it was proving to be fruitful. However, her heart dropped at the mention of the girl’s name and she found herself holding her breath.

“She…she was assaulted last night.” He didn’t skip a beat.

A heaviness fell on her quickly. Leia looked between the three men, confusion clear on her face.

Lando sighed before nodding at Dr. Tico who reluctantly nodded back and removed the curtain around the operating table revealing the girl laying deathly still.

When Leia’s eyes landed on her, her breath gave out and she gasped so loudly if felt like her ears were ringing. Her eyes widened as she took in her damaged face and damaged body that was slightly covered with a thin sheet.

The girl looked dead.

She placed a hand on her chest and stepped back, completely startled. She started hyperventilating while sealing her hand over her mouth in an attempt to halt the sounds that were threatening to escape. She didn’t realize she was shaking until Lando grabbed her and pulled her into his side.

“Oh my God,” she finally cried out as tears fell from her eyes like water.

“Leia.”

“I can’t,” she shook her head. “I can’t look at her again….”

“It’s ok, I know,” Lando soothed her by rubbing her back gently. Trying to ease the pain but it was pointless. Nothing could ease the sight of this poor girl.

“Is-is she alive?” She couldn’t help the sob that escaped her chest.

“Yes,” Dr. Tico answered, “But- she has some extensive injuries.” The solemn grave tone wasn’t missing from his voice.

“What’s the diagnosis?” Sheriff Biggs finally cut in, realizing the mayor was too distraught to respond, he found himself slipping into the same boat.

“Multiple bruising throughout the entire body, three fractured ribs, a busted lip, bilateral black eyes, head trauma, multiple red markings on the upper and lower extremities, a laceration to the back of the head and…loss of consciousness.” The older man couldn’t even finish the list, it felt like his tongue had turned to lead just talking about it out loud.

Leia buried her head into her hands, wishing she could permanently erase all the information she just heard.

“There’s more Leia,” Lando whispered softly in her ear.

“I don’t want to hear!” She barked pushing away from her friend and turning to a nearby metal table to rest her shaking hands. She didn’t want to hear anymore and didn’t dare look again at the half dead girl on the table.

“I’m afraid he’s right,” sheriff Biggs cut in, his voice rising a little.

Of course, that’s why the sheriff was here. “Has the perpetrator been identified? Has anything thing been done to detain them?” The questions slipped out of her mouth faster than she could think it. Her voice sounded torn between heartbroken and rage.

She would be locking them up herself…a fire started searing through her blood.

The sheriff sighed, “I’m afraid not. When I received the call from Calrissian last night, I went to investigate the girl’s house. They had reason to believe that her foster father was the one responsible for this horrific mess and so I took the initiative to search the house. And…they may have been right.”

“You searched Plutt’s house without a warrant?” Dr. Tico was surprised by this.

The sheriff shrugged and shook his head, “It doesn’t matter now. Unkar Plutt was nowhere in sight at the house and I received valuable information from the neighbors. The neighbors said they heard loud yelling and screaming coming from the house around 9 to 10pm yesterday. And an hour or so later, …one of the neighbors saw Unkar Plutt drag Rey’s unconscious body by the hair from the front porch and into the back of his truck. By the time the neighbor realized what was happening, he had already driven off with her body. The neighbor said he’d wished he known sooner, he would’ve stopped him from dragging her around like some bag of trash.”

Leia winced, feeling her heart starting to shatter. She’d known from her sons that Rey was a foster child, but they never mentioned much else. Except that one time where Plutt’s name was brought up in a conversation and Ben had practically turned red and furious at the mention of his very name. It was obvious he hated the man and now she understood why.

Why those times after coming back from a weekend with Rey the whole day he would look so broken and angry. Why he would always clench his fists while hanging up the truck keys and go straight to his room. Why sometimes before heading to his room he would stand in front of the empty guest room and stare at it intensely. Why it looked like he was imagining someone there living in it. It happened whenever he dropped her off at home….

Why? Why her of all people…why had her son chosen her. Perhaps it was because she was just as broken as him. And broken things tend to connect with other broken things in order to be whole. And now her son would be broken all over again, this much she understood, he wasn’t going to survive this. 

And she was afraid neither was she or the grave girl she started to care for deeply. Outside of her son, she saw something warm and bright within the girl, it contrasted the obvious torture she lived with.

A motherly instinct kicked in and she wanted nothing more than to run a bullet through Plutt’s head. Just like she had wanted to run one through Snoke’s.

“Leia,” Lando finally grasped her shoulder which caused her to turn towards the three men, her dark thoughts dissipating. “Please, we need to find Plutt. He’s probably in hiding or staying out somewhere. Biggs went back to the house early this morning to investigate if he had returned but he hadn’t. It’s obvious he’s hiding something or maybe on the run. God knows what he’s doing or what he’s been up to.”

“I agree,” sheriff Biggs chimed in. “We also have reason to believe from the local authorities that Unkar Plutt has been involved in some suspicious activities going on in the outskirts of town. We need your help mayor Organa in setting up an investigation. And-” He stopped before adding the last part, somehow not able to finish.

Lando sighed while closing his eyes, continuing on the conversation. “A serious investigation won’t happen unless your power and influence is used on the chief of police. We’ll need the funding and Rey may possibly need legal support. If- when she wakes up, she’ll be able to testify against Plutt but we will most likely need a family lawyer. Since Plutt is her legal guardian, they would want to place her back with him.”

“That won’t happen,” Leia gritted out, getting a headache from all this information flying out at her like bullets.

“I agree,” he continued. “But without any actual proof of him carrying out the assault or other evidence to use against him, they may side with the blasted man.”

“What do you mean proof of assault. Just look at her! The neighbors saw him drag her body!” Leia felt the irritation wearing on her skin.

“Yes, but the neighbors didn’t actually see her being physically assaulted by him,” Biggs cut in. “If Plutt gets a lawyer they could argue that no one actually witnessed the assault and that he placed her in the back of his truck to help her.”

“By dragging her by the head!” Leia snorted sarcastically. His argument was almost as stupid as the idea of Plutt getting a lawyer who would be stupid enough to defend that.

“I agree Leia, but the only one who can actually provide an actual account of the assault is Rey herself. If she testifies against him and we slam him with other criminal charges, it could work. The judge will have no choice but to side with her and make plans for placement.” Lando finished like he had just given a long speech that was exhausting.

“Placement? As in-”

“Yes,” he cut her off. “As in a new foster home. She’s underage and I’m willing to make the step if necessary,” he stated with purpose as if his mind was already made up.

“They’re not even from here,” she whispered hollowly, already seeing another issue pop up in this mess.

It took everyone a moment to process what the mayor had just said.

“Are they on a visa, do they have papers?” Biggs turned to Lando eyeing him curiously.

“I- I’m not sure. But their country of origin is at war, deportation won’t even be possible, I think?” He turned towards Leia who was deep in thought.

“You’re probably right,” she eventually sighed. “Europe is a mess right now, there’s no way either one of them is going back.”

“So the trial would be here? Right? They can’t go back to a warzone, mayor Organa what are the circumstances in cases like this? Do they have to go back?” The sheriff asked her with a strained expression.

“Rey is not going anywhere near Britain!” The three men jumped back a little, surprised by the passionate anger resonating in her voice. She was starting to snap, her angering rage getting the best of her. If one more person mentioned the idea of Rey back in Europe she was going to throw something across the rom.

She needed to be professional and for once in her life she was finding it challenging.

She breathed through her nose already making up her mind that the girl would not be deported. And that she needn’t snap at others for insinuating it. If her guardian had to be so be it. Let it be done. Send him back and tie him up on the Tower of London for all she cared and have him hit by a bomber after being hung upside for hours on end.

Yes, that is what she wanted for the sick man, to be rid of him.

She cleared her throat, finally deciding on what she needed to do. “I’ll provide full funding for the investigation and a lawyer for Rey. I also want an officer here posted to provide 24hour surveillance in case Plutt tries to come near her again. And this situation is to remain under wraps. We don’t need the whole town finding out what happened, it could start the rumor mill and Plutt could overhear about her whereabouts,” Leia barked her orders like the hardheaded leader she knew she could be.

“Of course, it’s best to keep this hidden from the public. But, you’ll have to speak with the chief of police in order to fulfill those tasks. As soon as you two speak and the authority is given, we’ll send some men down here to keep watch. And a full-blown investigation will be initiated, but we can’t do that without approval. As it is, we have very minimal evidence besides Rey to begin with,” Biggs didn’t skip a beat but said everything in earnest. He wanted more than anything to help but couldn’t do so without his superior’s approval.

“I’ll take care of that. After morning service I’ll meet with the chief and arrange everything myself.”

The sheriff nodded at her, hopeful that she could persuade him. If there was one thing Leia Organa was good at doing, it was persuading, the woman was a vision when it came to making speeches.

The doctor finally cleared his throat loudly, throwing himself back into the conversation after being silent for some time. “You all are forgetting one crucial point out of all of this.” Everyone in the room turned to him again. “The matter of Rey’s health. She is…she is in a coma and I’m not sure when she’ll wake up. She suffered a traumatic head injury that is yet to be determined as either mild or severe. By God’s grace she didn’t need a craniotomy and I can’t help but feel like we’re all jumping the gun here when the girl hasn’t even gained an inch of consciousness. This barely happened last night, less than 24 hours ago and we have minimal evidence with the supposed assailant. Please by all means carry out this investigation but do not rush my patient into anything that can’t be handled without her. She needs time to heal, to recover.”

The air turned tense, and Lando noted the mayor’s eyes glistening. They were all so caught up in charging Plutt that they didn’t even consider the poor girl’s health.

“I know doc,” Lando moved to place his hands on his shoulders and stood right in front of him. “You’re right, the most important thing here is her health. We won’t let the investigation get in the way of that. Whenever she is ready to wake up, she wakes up. We won’t pressure you or her during the recovery process. You take care of her health, while we take of the ugly business. That’s how it’s gona work here.”

Dr. Tico nodded, the exhaustion clear on his face. It was obvious he had been stressed the whole night and the weariness etched on his forehead matched the man’s standing across from him.

They had both been up all night along with L3 and Finn who refused to rest.

“So it’s settled then,” Leia’s raspy voice cut in. “I’ll speak with the chief while you take care of her for the time being Dr. Tico. We won’t start the investigation until at least Tuesday, to give us some time to think things through. I…I don’t know how to thank you,” her voice became thick, a heaviness weighing her down. “You’ve been the voice of reason and rationality that I can’t seem to think straight with at the moment.”

She truly was grateful to this man, she trusted his medical expertise and knew that he was right. Rey’s state of health must be the priority. “I’ll be covering full medical expenses from here on out. Whatever she needs will be taken care by me while she is here.”

Dr. Tico nodded respectfully and turned to assess the young girl laying still with his stethoscope.

The sheriff nodded as well. “I’ll wait around here for the time being, make sure no unwanted visitors show up.”

“You’ve been up all night,” Lando protested.

“So have you,” Biggs shot back. “Why don’t you take you and your family home, get some rest. I got this.”

“I would but I don’t think my son will be able to go home. He refuses to leave and I’ve already spoken with the doc. He’ll remain here with me while my wife returns home and rests. And then once she has rested, she’ll return here with my son and I’ll go home and rest. But the boy is not leaving. He’s been waiting patiently in the waiting room and when the doc says it’s ok, he’ll be by Rey’s side.”

Biggs just nodded, understanding the look on the man’s face. He padded him on the shoulder before turning to leave the room.

“Lando,” he turned towards the mayor’s voice. She came in close to him, bringing their heads close to speak only to him. The look on Leia’s face shook him for some reason as she eyed him closely.

“There’s one final thing I must get out before I walk out these doors,” her voice was seriously grave and pointed to the point where he knew she was about to tell him something vital. “You must promise me something before I walk out.”

“What is it Leia,” he whispered lowly to her, sensing the worry and hesitation radiating off her.

“While I know this will all eventually come out and it may be a futile attempt, you must do something for me. I want to prolong and prevent the inevitable for as long as I can.”

“What’s the inevitable Leia?”

“We’re all on the same page of keeping this entire situation under wraps. For the sake and safety of everyone involved. And so I ask you, I beg of you….”

Lando leaned closer sensing the fear from her.

“**Do not tell my son**.”

He stepped back, surprised by her request.

“Ensure that **him** and none of her friends or acquaintances find out. For now, at least. Please Lando I’m begging you!”

He swallowed thickly, trying to conjure up what to say. After a few moments, he gave her the most honest response he could give her. “Leia, I’ll do my best to ensure that no one else finds out. But you must know it _will_ come out. I can’t prevent your son or her friends from discovering the truth no matter how hard I try.”

“For the sake of Ben’s sanity please Lando, do not say anything. Please do your best.” The hopeless and forlorn expression she wore sent a shiver up his spine.

He wondered what Ben had to do in all this, he learned through his son that he was starting to become a part of their group of friends but not much else. It was obvious that his son and Ben still didn’t get along well, judging by the way Finn spoke of him.

From Finn’s account, it sounded like Ben had burned quite the amount of bridges with his son and Lando swore he was eventually going to slap some sense into the young Solo.

But he could never find it in him to do so. He was supposed to be his “unca Wanwo” and while he did initially hate the young man for what happened to Han, he could never stop being his uncle. The irony always tore at him, he wanted to loathe the boy but he couldn’t. Though he hadn’t spoken to him since Han’s funeral, he knew there was this wedge between them for a while now. Perhaps he needed to forgive the boy still. Chewie had been able to, but not him.

That was another story for another day….

Given his previous issues with raging violent outbursts, he concluded that maybe Ben would react violently to this situation since Rey was in their group of friends. It made sense now, Finn had initially responded the same way, with a terrifying rage. Ben would probably do the same and now he finally understood the mayor’s request.

“I’ll do my best Leia,” he promised her before pulling her into a sideways hug. Not only was he going to have to look out for his son, but now Ben too. Two young hotheaded teenage boys filled with rage against an abuser was almost a recipe for disaster, with good reason.

He hoped he could keep his son in check and hopefully stall young Solo for as long as he could. That much he could try to do, attempt to do.

***

Rose was walking on the sidewalk Sunday afternoon, on the way to surprise her father with a late lunch. He had apparently left last night in the middle of the night but didn’t say a word. She didn’t even hear him leave but she does remember hearing a telephone ringing. She thought it was part of her dream and tossed and turned until she fell back asleep.

As she reached the hospital, she bounced through the medical ward’s doors, searching for her father. The medical bay was surprisingly quiet and there was only one or two patients resting in their beds. They didn’t look seriously injured and she wondered who in the world her father had got called in for. Surely it wasn’t these two patients, maybe it was another patient?

“Hello Sarah,” Rose greeted the young nurse’s aide.

Her sister had worked the night and now she was on board. She liked Sarah and her sister, and it was always too bad that they were in private schooling. If they weren’t, she’s sure they would’ve become great friends at Jedi High. It would’ve been a lot less lonely if they had attended the same school. But she was grateful that she had Rey now, she was becoming her best friend and companion.

“Hello miss Rose,” she smiled back politely at her though a bit strained. 

“Have you seen my father?”

Sarah hesitated, unsure of what to say and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“He’s…he’s in the surgical bay miss.”

“Surgical bay?”

“Yes miss, he’s been…caring for a patient.”

“Oh.” That makes sense now, that’s probably where the emergency patient is, in a surgical procedure and why she hadn’t seen them when she entered. It all made sense to her now. “I brought him some food from my mother, perhaps I could see him?”

“Um- I’m not sure if that’s possible right now.” Sarah hesitated again, twisting the white apron she worn into knots while trying to avert her gaze.

“Oh, um, he’s busy isn’t he.” Of course her father would be busy but she at least wanted him to eat, to have some food in his system. You can’t work on an empty stomach, that’s what her mother always taught her.

“Yes,” she breathed out, hoping that would prevent her from insisting on seeing the doctor any further.

“Rose?” Dr. Tico suddenly appeared from the supply room with some instruments in his hand, shocked to see his daughter’s face here.

“Papa!” She rushed up to him, excited to see him, completely unaware of the dread building inside him. “You’ve been gone all night and all morning. Mama and I wanted to surprise you with your favorite dish.” Rose pulled out the bowl of food she had brought for her father, looking up at him expectantly, waiting for the excitement in her father’s eyes…but it never came.

“Rose darling,” he cleared his throat, feeling the air around him starting to decrease. “What are you doing here, you needn’t trouble yourself with worrying about me. Thank you for the food but you must return home now.” His voice was stern and demanding, laced with a sense of urgency.

Rose flinched a little, surprised that her father was sending her away. While she knew he could be cranky sometimes from a stressful day, what doctor wasn’t, he had never flat out sent her away before. He was always happy to see her, even in the midst of his worse days. She was his ball of sunshine that would lighten up his day, make a smile form on his face. Something had to be wrong with him, he was acting so strange.

“Father, what’s wrong?”

There it was, he knew his daughter would be able to read him, she could always read him like an open book. He should’ve known better, should’ve been more cautious, maybe called the house and told his wife what was going on and to keep their daughter as far away as possible from this place. He was going to do it, but never found the time. And it was too late now.

His daughter’s heart was about to be broken and everything in him wanted to scream for not being smarter and thinking ahead. Perhaps it was his current lack of sleep that was lapsing his judgement. He’d been up for hours on end and no amount of coffee could cure his current fatigue.

He felt like the worst father in the world at this moment, like he had somehow failed to protect and shield his daughter from the darkness and cruel reality of the world. He vowed Rose would never know the harsh reality of life like the girl in a coma laying on the surgical table. It made him imagine his daughter in the poor girl’s place and a deep sorrow began to drown him. He winced at the thought of his daughter broken and damaged, dying on a hospital bed.

He wanted nothing more than to protect his daughter from reality, let her believe in happily ever after and fairytales and prince charming and everything good in the world. As a little girl, he would read her good night stories that always ended in a happily ever after. In those stories there were never abusive parents, police officers, princesses in a coma with broken bodies, lawyers, judges, deportation sentences and most of all the foster care system that would likely take the princess away.

He swallowed thickly before gaining his resolve back and finding the courage to break his daughter from the “happily ever after” mentality for the first time ever. In everyone’s life there always came a time for the reality of the world to set in. And now it was his daughter’s time. Maybe he had waited too long, he should’ve taught her sooner.

“Rose my dear,” he started softly, “I must speak with you about a serious manner. One that may be difficult to discuss.”

She nodded, weary of the stress in her father’s voice.

“Come with me darling,” he guided her towards the doors of the surgical bay and stepped into the supply room with just the two of them.

After ensuring no one else was around, Hue Tico laid it all out, everything. From the moment he had received the phone call last night up until this very moment. The extensive injuries, the police, the investigation, all of it was relayed to his daughter.

Except one crucial point that would change everything.

He never mentioned the girl’s name or anybody’s name for that matter. He didn’t even reveal the gender.

He wanted his daughter to have a clear head before mentioning the name. He wanted her to have all the information and facts so she could process them later after her grief.

“Oh Papa, I’m so sorry. You’ve been so busy with this poor patient and I disrupted you from giving them the care they need.” Rose’s voice was apologetic and guilty, like she had halted this patient’s critical care needed.

“No sweetheart,” he placed his hands on his daughter’s shoulders urgently, hoping that she wouldn’t blame herself. “It’s…it’s not your fault musume, there’s a lot going on right now and the most important thing is this girl’s health and safety. You understand me right? It is not your fault.” The harsh reality of the world would never be his daughter’s fault, he would ensure that she never felt that way.

“Ok, I understand,” she nodded her head while her father released her shoulders, surprised that he revealed the patient as a girl.

“Rose…there is one more thing, something I can’t withhold from you any longer.”

“What is it?” She stepped closer towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “You look so stressed Papa please tell me. Let me take some of the burden off you.”

He winced, whishing he could take all the burden for what he was about to tell her.

“The patient, the girl is….”

“Is what father?” She gave him a confused look, waiting anxiously for what he was going to say.

He breathed out shakily before placing his warm hand on her cheek affectionately. He used to do this all the time when she was younger and needed reassurance that everything would be okay. Something made her more anxious now, something was terribly wrong.

“The patient is Rey.”

A long silence followed, neither one of them speaking.

“Rey? As in….”

“Your friend Rey, sweetheart.”

She immediately shook her head, disbelief and shock clear in her eyes. “What?” She breathed out, stepping away from him.

“Rose,” he moved towards his daughter, her face completely distraught but she moved back even further. “Darling please-”

He didn’t even have time to finish as his daughter dashed off quickly, away from him and towards the surgical bay.

“Rose wait!” He tried to stop her, but it was too late.

She entered the surgical room and moved the white linen curtains hanging from the ceiling, revealing the girl’s body on the table.

“No,” she sobbed out, her whole frame shaking, as she took in her near disfigured face and purple swollen body. She started to cry loudly, placing her hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle her cries. 

She was failing miserably, she stumbled to Rey’s side with both hands over her mouth, agony ripping through her as she eyed her face shrouded in the bruising. She almost looked unrecognizable, the only remainder that her friend was actually there were the small freckles hiding beneath the bruising across her cheeks. Her body was so pale and her arms covered in deep red marks, purple and black littered her entire body…she looked horrific.

Rose started sobbing loudly as she reached out to touch her friend but stopped herself. She didn’t want to feel the cold and absent warmness to her body, it would feel like she was dead.

She was about to collapse onto her knees and bury her face into the mattress when she heard someone enter the room quickly.

She turned abruptly and saw Finn looking back at her with wide eyes, the same pain in his. The agony and sadness was bleeding into the air in the room.

She sobbed again and stumbled before he rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face into his shoulders and they both fell to their knees, holding onto one another like they were each other’s life support.

She cried into his shoulder as he held her, rocking her gently. They were both shaking, becoming consumed by the sorrow that was threatening to drown them.

He held onto her tightly, not letting her go as he buried his face into her hair. The burning in his eyes was enough to undue him.

“I-I don’t understand,” she sobbed into him.

“Shh, I know, I know,” he rocked her gently, rubbing soothing circles where he held her.

“Why-how, how could someone do such a thing!” She shook even harder, the pain so deep. She was losing the only real friend she ever had besides her sister.

“I know Rose, I know. He’s gona pay,” Finn gritted out with so much anger it made her flinch.

“What do you mean he- you mean… Plutt?” She sobbed again as she realized what this meant.

It made sense, it had never gone unnoticed the way that man treated Rey. She remembered the last time Rey was in the hospital and how cruel her foster father had been when he came to pick her up. She remembered how ill-mannered he spoke to her father and how he treated Rey like a ragdoll. The small bruises and marks never went unnoticed by her and she wanted nothing more than to pull her friend away from that man.

She remembered how embarrassed Rey was to face her again after that incident and how she had hidden herself away in fear of being rejected. She remembers reassuring her that she didn’t care and that she would always be her friend no matter what.

But how naïve she had been, how foolish and stupid. She should’ve forced her father to report Plutt right then and there, maybe offer for Rey to come live with them since Paige was gone now.

She always told Rey that she could talk to her about it whenever she needed someone to express herself to, but she had always pushed her away for some reason or shoved her out. She never wanted to talk about Plutt’s treatment towards her and she understood why. Still, it hurt terribly knowing the conditions she lived under and how she wished she could have changed it.

“Yes,” Finn answered her question.

She cried again, this time harder. Somehow hearing it confirmed made everything so much more worse.

“How dare he! How could he,” she roared, anger finally settling in after her grief.

“I know Rose, he won’t get away with this. I promise.” He pulled back and used his hands to wipe the tears from her face, cupping her cheek.

She could see the fire in his eyes and it matched hers.

“She needs us Finn, I-we can’t abandon her now. We have to help her.” She sniffed her nose as his other hand went to her cheek.

“We will, I won’t stop until justice is brought about.”

Rose nodded as Finn leaned down to place a gentle kiss to her forehead, sealing his promise. The action made her blush and she was suddenly grateful that her eyes and face were already red from crying.

***

Hue Tico watched as his daughter fell apart, taking in her friend on the surgical table. He was about to rush to her side until he saw Lando’s boy rush into the room and straight towards her.

He instantly threw his arms around her protectively as she fell to her knees. They both started crying as he rocked his daughter gently.

The action was so instinct, almost natural to them and he wondered how close she was to the boy.

He buried his face in her hair and started whispering soothingly to her.

The way they talked to each other and their body language was enough to tell him that there was something more going on between this boy and his daughter.

His suspicion was confirmed when the boy eventually leaned down to place a kiss to her forehead gently. It was endearing, yet shy at the same time.

Initially he was shocked, which was followed by a hint of anger. He was becoming upset that his daughter hadn’t told him about her and Lando’s son or the relationship between them.

How long had this been going on and how much was she keeping from them. How serious were they in terms of a relationship. When had his daughter been so secretive.

While he didn’t mind Finn Calrissian as a young man, the times he had encountered him he was quite the respectable being and he thought him quite the looker, he didn’t expect him for his daughter.

Deep down he knew he wasn’t what he wanted for her.

He always wanted his daughters to marry within their culture and beliefs. He always thought anyone outside of it wouldn’t value their heritage or way of life. His oldest daughter Paige had been successful in finding a young Japanese man, filled with pride and ambition. He valued their culture because he had been raised in it and understood the importance of it.

But this boy Finn, he was an American, born and raised here. And while he knew his daughters were accustomed to the American way of life, he made sure to instill to them the value of their heritage.

Perhaps now, as he realized the relationship coming to life between her and this boy, he was more afraid than angry…afraid that the values he raised his children with would be lost to the ways of this country. To the ways of this boy.

He sighed as he stepped away from the room unnoticed by the young couple. Now wasn’t the time to deal with his feelings on his daughter possibly dating Lando’s son. It was selfish of him to think of it at time like this. There were more important things like Rey’s health and his current lack of sleep to deal with.

When the time was right, he would speak to Rose about the matter, but that probably wouldn’t be for a while….

***

Monday morning came swiftly for the mayor’s household. Nothing eventful took place over the weekend, except their mother being absent the entire day yesterday. Poe wondered what had kept her out since the early morning.

They hadn’t seen her face at all until late in the evening. When they finally saw her, she looked so tired and worn down, like she had been out all day doing mayor duty stuff on a Sunday which normally didn’t happen.

Sundays were supposed to be family days or at least service days then family days. However, whenever something urgent came up they turned into work days. And so him and Ben didn’t question her when she walked in late to dinner. They were practically done eating when she finally sat down and attempted to eat. She was so strangely quiet and hardly conversational. In fact, she wasn’t conversational at all, it must have been a rough mayor duty day.

She kept avoiding their eyes for some reason, especially Bens and kept it all small talk for the remainder of their meal. The lines on her face were telling of the stress she had endured throughout the day and Poe wondered again what could have caused his mother so much worry. He wanted to approach her on the subject and inquire about her demeaner but thought better of it. Sometimes being the mayor would just take its’ toll on a person, especially when dealing with a city’s problems. When Leia was ready to talk about it she would, regardless of how difficult it was.

Still… she was hardly ever like this, only when something bad happened. It had been like this the first couple of family dinner’s after Han’s death, when everything was still fresh and his brother was a broken shell of a person, but they eventually got through it.

This seemed to remind him of those rough first months where their mother was afraid to speak at the table.

Her demeaner now didn’t go unnoticed by him and Ben, but they ultimately didn’t comment on it.

Poe yawned loudly as he walked next to Ben up the school’s steps, waving at one of the senior jocks as he passed by. He knew mostly everyone at the school and they knew him. It was normal for people to approach him and start conversating easily, especially with the guys involved in sports. Poe himself had been an ace in baseball and was particularly fond of sports.

Everyone was Poe Dameron’s friend or at least an acquaintance of him. It was like he was a social magnet, while his brother was the complete opposite. They would always stop to talk to him but completely ignore or pass by Ben. Not that Poe blamed them though, his brother could be quite aloof, especially when it came to flirty girls who would bat their eyelashes. No girl could ever catch his attention and he thought he would never see the day where one could…until now that is.

Poe yawned again, passing through the busy hallways. He hated Mondays, they were such a drag. It always meant another five days of school filled with boring lecture and waking up early. He always dreaded getting up unlike his brother who was mostly up before the sun rose. He never understood how he could wake up early so easily. It drove him nuts just thinking about it.

As they entered their first morning class, he instantly noticed the empty seats. He turned to Ben who was already looking at _her _seat. His eyes always instantly shot to _her _seat every morning, it was the first thing he laid eyes on as he entered.

So, it came as no surprise that he was shocked that Rey’s seat was empty. He saw his brother’s eyes widen for a second before narrowing and pouting his lips. He looked like a disappointed child whose toy had broken.

Poe sighed internally, his brother had it so bad but he refused to acknowledge it. Even a blind mute goat could see how hard he had fallen yet he wouldn’t openly talk about it. It didn’t matter though because Poe was almost certain that _she_ was starting to fall just as hard. And eventually they would both stop dancing around denial or whatever it is that their innocent naïve brains were thinking.

He did find it strange that both Rose and Finn’s seats were empty too, something felt off about it. None of them were ever late in the past. 

“Wonder where the others are, all three of them missing, perhaps they’re walking together late.” Poe commented to Ben as they sat in their usual seats. It was unlike them to be late but perhaps today was an exception.

However, as class started and droned on, they never showed their faces.

Poe concluded that they were all absent by the end of first period and it made him worry a bit. Not as much as his brother though. He seemed completely on edge the entire day, looking as if he wanted to inquire about their whereabouts, about _her_ whereabouts but couldn’t.

He was being extra moody and extra temperamental without _her_ to calm him, to buffer him.

Poe was getting quite frustrated with him honestly and he contemplated calling Finn to inquire about all of their whereabouts. After a long thought, he decided to drop it though, concluding that they were probably sick or had caught something.

It didn’t go unnoticed that one day without Rey had set his brother back completely. He had been acting moody since Saturday night but now it was intensified by her absence.

“Ben, I’m sure they’re fine. They probably just got each other sick or something. Maybe the flu is going around. Maybe we should check our temperatures when we get home, just to be safe.” These were the words he attempted to comfort him with, but it came to no use.

Poe instantly regretted his attempt though, noting how his brother tensed immensely at the idea of _her_ being sick. He couldn’t succeed in reassuring him no matter what he did.

Hopefully Rey and their friends showed up tomorrow…or this was going to be a long week for him.

That night, Leia didn’t join them for dinner, instead she opted to take it in her study. She claimed she was busy with an important matter and decided to not show her face at the dinner table.

She was acting so strange, almost as if she was avoiding him and Ben at all costs. Whether it was intentional or not, it irritated them both and they finally decided to comment on it.

Maybe their mother needed someone to confide in or share her burdens with, which is what caused Poe to enter her study uninvited, with Ben trailing him.

“Madam mayor,” he began casually, he only called her that in jest which annoyed her, but it would always get a good smile out of her. He wanted to liven up her mood, make her feel better somehow. Today, it wasn’t working though….

“Is everything all right?” Poe sighed frustratingly, getting straight to the point, noting how his adoptive mother didn’t smile at all to his playful character.

The woman sighed back heavily, something shifting in her eyes that him and his brother couldn’t read. They looked contemplative, almost as if they were searching, searching for some sort of hope in the matter she was dealing with. She couldn’t look her sons directly in the face and did her best to appear busy with her work and unable to conversate much.

After a long minute she cleared her throat, realizing she had to speak, or else they would push her more. And she wasn’t sure she could handle that right now. “It’s nothing my darlings, just…mayor duty, that’s all.” The sad attempt at a smile didn’t reach her eyes, yet they appeared to be glassy.

“Are you sure?” Poe asked with a crease to his brow, their mother only used terms of endearment when she was trying to protect them by hiding something. It didn’t go unnoticed and she was hesitant to respond.

“It’s obviously not nothing,” Ben finally barked stepping forward now which caused Leia to flinch. Her body language was shifting the closer he got.

“You’re right,” she stood up quickly from her desk, straightening her dress, attempting to be businesslike yet failing miserably. Her hesitation was growing the more her eyes bounced between her sons. After a short but enduring period of silence she cleared her throat, “There is a matter I’m dealing with that requires my attention. I must find a resolution and all I ask for is your…patience. Please understand…in time I will explain everything. But for now,” she stepped up to her sons and placed a hand on each of their cheeks. “Let’s just not worry about me, ok? I can assure you I will be fine.” She then reached up to place a chaste kiss on their cheeks, like a doting mother, eyes becoming even more glassier before turning and dashing for the door, leaving the study completely.

Both Poe and Ben were stunned at their mother’s fast exit. A few moments later they heard her bedroom door open before slamming shut with a final ring, indicating she would not be coming out for the entire rest of the night.

The two brothers looked at each other completely lost before shrugging and shaking their heads, deciding it would be best to let her be. Eventually the cause of her strange behavior would be discovered and Poe figured that would be enough for now. As mayor of Naboo, she had a huge responsibility on her shoulders and maybe it was starting to wear her down. The best way to support her at times like this was to give her some space and respect her wishes.

Poe sighed while rubbing his head, deciding it didn’t do any good to dwell on overthinking things. Before he turned to exit the study, he noticed his brother’s hesitance to leave. He was standing in front of her desk still, lingering near the stacks of paperwork piled on top. Poe followed his line of sight and noted that he was staring down, his eyes deep in thought as he gazed at the stacks of paperwork littering the surface. His eyes seemed focused on a specific paper that was piled in the corner. 

“Ben?” He wondered what his eyes had landed on. “What is it?”

After a minute he shook his head and swallowed thickly, “Nothing,” he pushed out, barely audible before turning to leave and ignoring him as he left.

Poe sighed again, now his brother was acting strange, he didn’t know how much more of it he could take in this house.

He walked over to the space his brother had just occupied and looked at the small paper pile he had been observing. On top was a letter, a legal letter stating some lawyer’s name on top. And next to it was an envelope with the hospital’s logo posted on it. Poe wasn’t sure what it all was or what it all meant but something seemed strange about it.

“I guess… mayor duty right,” he said to no one, as he exited his mother’s study, attempting not to feel lost or in the dark.

***

The next day they arrived to school almost late.

Poe had decided to sleep in a bit from not having been able to sleep much last night. The same went for Ben which surprised him when he woke up at the same time he did.

He looked much worse than him, the dark circles under his pale skin told him that he had probably tossed and turned all night. They both hadn’t slept right…something was off, but he couldn’t pin it. Perhaps it was the conversation from last night or Leia’s behavior that caused them distress in the night. Either way, they both felt terrible and run down.

They both walked into first period, expecting everything to be back to normal but it wasn’t.

All three seats from yesterday that were empty were empty yet again. No sign of Finn, Rose or Rey.

Poe cringed, not wanting to look towards his brother’s reaction but couldn’t resist.

Ben’s eyes were narrowed deeply, he took a few heavy breaths that seemed more like heaves. His lips formed into the same pout as yesterday and the visible irritation radiating from him was not unnoticeable by anyone within ten feet of him. The disappointment, worry and confusion were fused onto his face.

His eyes burned holes into _her_ seat, as if he could magically make her appear by doing so.

Poe found his brother’s demeanor rubbing off on him and felt his own lips slipping into a pout at the absence of his friends, _again_.

They sat down at their desks and before Poe could open his mouth and make a comment, Rose Tico came rushing in at the last second.

Both of their heads snapped to hers instantly as she rushed to her seat and sat down so fast that she didn’t even greet the two boys. They didn’t even see her face, it almost looked like she was hiding from them.

Poe was about to open his mouth towards her when the school bell rang with a chilling sound and class had begun. The classroom instantly fell silent and all eyes were on Pro. Tekka.

He tried to gain her attention during the beginning of lecture but after multiple attempts of trying and failing, he gave up. It was blatantly obvious that she refused to acknowledge him or Ben.

The entire lecture Rose hadn’t even glanced or looked towards them. It was becoming frustrating and Poe knew right then and there that something wasn’t right. She had never acted this way towards them, not once.

When Pro. Tekka finally dismissed the class, after what felt like an eternity, she was the first one out, rushing out quickly to avoid facing them. Poe heard Ben give out a frustrated sigh, like he wanted to drag her back in and demand information from her.

But he wasn’t going to let that happen, Poe was going to get answers first.

“Oh no you don’t,” he muttered under his breath, jumping from his seat and following after her. It took him a minute to realize that Ben had followed him and that he was even trying to rush him. They were both on edge now, with the goal of reaching her.

He dashed through the school hallways until he caught up with her, avoiding the traffic of students almost hitting him.

They both caught her completely off guard as she yelped when Poe reached for her shoulder.

“Rose!” He started, turning her to face him. He immediately regretted the action.

She flinched and stepped back, her eyes not meeting theirs, but it was clear as day on her face. Something was not right, something was…wrong.

“Rose,” he started more gently this time, “What’s wrong? Where have you been? Why are-”

“Don’t,” she whispered brokenly, cutting him off. “Don’t ask- please.”

A visible tension fell between them and he could feel Ben tensing next to him.

“What? What do you mean, what’s going on? Your obviously not alright. Just look at you!” As harsh as his words sounded, he wasn’t lying.

Her face was pale and worn down, it looked like she had cried all night or hadn’t slept for days. The sadness in her eyes was enough to render him speechless, but he had to know the truth, regardless if hurt her or not.

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” she blurted out with tears threatening to blur her vision. She shook her head and moved away from them.

“Rose please,” he pleaded again not letting her leave. “I know everything is not alright. What is going on? And where are the others? Have you seen them?”

She shook her head again in disbelief, flinching at the word “others”. Somehow the action had given herself away.

“Did- did something happen to Finn? Or to…to Rey?” He cringed just at thought of speaking her name out loud.

Poe heard his brother let out a shuddering breath, the tension within him rising even further at the sound of _her_ name. The air was bleeding with such an intensity it almost felt suffocating. If she didn’t spit it out now, he didn’t think he would be able to hang on much longer, and neither would the boy next to him.

Rose let out a small sob.

“Rose,” Poe breathed out before grabbing her arm and moving her towards a corner of the hallway, away from the crowds. “Please, tell us what’s wrong.” He was pleading with her now.

“I- I can’t,” she sniffed, trying to erase the blurriness from her eyes. “It’s, it’s too difficult…to explain. All of it!”

“What do you mean? What happened?!”

She gritted her teeth, frustration and anger and sorrow mixed into one. This wasn’t the Rose they knew. After a long and tense period of silence she finally opened her mouth again.

“Rey,” was all she had to say before he felt the moment his heart shook a little.

“Rey what?” He breathed out again, feeling something closing in on him and whishing that his brother wasn’t here for this, wasn’t here to hear the terrible thing that had caused such a reaction out of the girl in front of him.

“She-”

“She what?” Poe turned desperate, he could hear his brother’s breathing increasing rapidly next to him.

“The hospital,” was all she blurted before they heard Ben slam his fist into the locker nearby and dash immediately towards the school building’s entrance.

“Ben!” He roared hopelessly as Rose finally let her tears fall unashamed.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, the agony etched into her voice. “I thought I could handle showing my face here, but I can’t! Please, don’t go! Don’t let him go! Please!” She pleaded with him as his head swam. Her pleas sounded desperate, like she was trying to prevent them from walking into some sort of nightmare.

While he wanted to comfort Rose, he knew he needed to contain his brother or at least talk to him, attempt to calm him down. Things were moving so fast, too fast.

“Rose, look at me,” he placed his hands on her shoulders gently yet still urgently. “I’ll go after him, I’ll take care of this. But you take care of yourself first. Ok?”

She shook her head at him in disbelief, breathing out a pitiful scoff, the sadness still etched in her eyes. She finally nodded at him silently before he released her and chased after Ben.

By the time he hit the stairs to the entrance of the school building, he saw his brother slamming his keys into the door of his truck in the school’s lot. He flung the driver’s door open so roughly he was sure it was going to come off the hinges.

Poe was surprised it hadn’t. “Ben wait!” His voice boomed as he dashed down the stairs and ran to the parking lot, attempting to catch up to him.

He came up to the passenger side and swung the door open, finding him already starting the truck. “Ben wait!” He shouted again.

“GET OUT!” He roared at him so loudly that he felt his ears ringing.

“No,” he finally took a deep breath to clam himself down. At this point Poe had two options, either let him go or go with him. The fire in his brother’s eyes was enough to tell him he needed to act quickly. “I’m going with you.”

“FINE,” he gritted out. “Then get in and shut the door!”

Poe took another big deep breath, now was not the time to fight or argue with him. He hopped in and before he even shut his door Ben had already started driving off, skidding out of the school parking lot. He was driving like a crazed maniac, he prayed he wouldn’t get them killed.

The entire ride was silent, neither one of them saying a single word. Poe already knew where he was driving them to, he just hoped for the best even though he knew his hope was a lie. The look on Rose’s face was already enough for him to expect the worst. And he couldn’t let his brother go at it alone….

Not when his fists were gripping the steering wheel so tight, that he thought he was going to rip the wheel off. He was like a caged beast waiting to be released. And he needed to be there for him.

As they drove up to the hospital’s entrance, Ben didn’t even bother parking correctly as he slammed his breaks at the nearest spot reserved for emergency vehicles only. They exited the truck and beelined straight towards the entrance. He attempted to keep up with him, but Poe was finding it more difficult the longer they remained in the dark.

As they entered the hospital, Poe noted that things appeared to be normal. Some patients were in their beds resting while others were ambulating with the nurse’s guidance. There was soft chatter filtering throughout the ward with people moving about. The air felt warm and the atmosphere appeared normal, it did not match the distress on Rose’s face.

Perhaps they were wrong, what if what they thought, wasn’t what it actually was. It all appeared fine.

No…that was the false hope talking again. He knew something wasn’t right. There was a horrifying truth waiting to reveal itself.

Both his and Ben’s eyes searched for her, searched for any sign of Rey. But found nothing, maybe she wasn’t here, at least not anymore.

Poe’s eyes finally slid towards the back of the ward, where he saw an officer standing outside the door to a large room. He looked like he was standing watch, guarding the entrance to the medical bay. It took him a split second to recognize the police officer, it was sheriff Biggs. A long time family friend and companion to Leia.

Poe looked at Ben, whose eyes had already landed on the sheriff. They both started moving towards him and as they came closer, they saw him stiffen.

“Benji, Poe,” sheriff Biggs greeted them kindly yet still with a stern voice as they approached him. The familiarity with the man felt forced, like he was trying too hard for some reason.

“Sheriff Biggs,” Poe asked confused, “What are you doing here?”

The sheriff cleared his throat, “I could ask you the same question, and longtime no see you two. How long has it been? Gosh you two get bigger every time we meet.” Something in the man’s voice was off, like he was trying to play it cool, like everything was normal but failing miserably.

“It’s been too long,” he smiled at him but it didn’t reach his eyes. Poe knew something was up, the officer seemed a bit on edge. 

“It sure has. How’s everything with-”

“Where is she?!” Ben finally barked, not caring to cut off the older man. Poe could tell he was growing tired and his patience was wearing thin. And so was his.

“Pardon me,” Biggs shot back, probably offended and not liking the tone in his voice towards him.

“Where is she?!” His voice raised and before Poe could cut in and tamper the situation, he heard another voice from behind the officer.

“Biggs, I’ll handle this.”

Out of nowhere came Lando Calrissian from behind the sheriff. He stepped right in front of the two teenagers, eyeing them closely.

“Lando?” Poe was even more confused now.

“Hey there pilot,” Lando forced a gentle smile at him. “And Starfighter,” he then nodded at Ben uncertain of his response.

“What’s going on?” He cut in, feeling the tension rise within his brother even further. “Did something happen to Rey? Finn? They didn’t show up to school and were-”

Lando held up his hand to silence him. “Why don’t we go some place to talk, to sort everything out.” He looked defeated and stressed out as he spoke, like he didn’t want to be having this conversation with the two boys but had no choice. He looked like a man who had broken his promise to someone and now had no other alternative but to explain the truth. The weariness was clear as day on his face.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Ben finally growled, “You’re obviously hiding something behind that door. Get out of the way!”

“Ben!” Poe scolded him sharply, anger was not going to do them any good at this point.

Sheriff Biggs went rigid and a heavy tension fell in the ward. He took an aggressive stance against them. “Now listen here boys, there is a serious matter that is being sorted. I can’t allow you two behind this door. It’s for your own good and for the protection of everyone here.”

“Ben,” Lando pleaded softly as he witnessed the boy visibly shaking with anger. He felt his throat constricting as he spoke. He hadn’t talked to the boy since everything happened with his father and he wasn’t sure when he would be ready to. He was supposed to be his uncle, but now he wasn’t so sure what he was supposed to be to him. “Please, let me explain the situation. Sheriff Biggs is right. There is more going on here than either of you can-”

Lando was cut off by the sudden actions of the boy in front of him.

“BEN!” Poe shouted as his brother pushed his way through Lando and the sheriff, slamming his way through the double doors.

The sheriff was about to attempt to tackle and halt his advance before Lando stopped him. “Don’t! I’ll handle this.”

The sheriff gave out a frustrated sigh but let him go after him instead.

Poe followed him and noticed the sheriff didn’t even try to stop them.

“Benjamin wait!” Lando shouted but it was too late.

Ben entered the surgical bay and stepped onto the other side of the curtains. Poe caught up with him and stood right beside him with Lando trailing them.

When his eyes landed on the body lying on the bed, Poe felt his chest clench from the inside. Everyone in the room froze and the air was completely sucked out of him as he gazed at the scene before him.

The girl lying there was supposed to be Rey, this much he could comprehend, except she didn’t look like Rey. She looked disfigured and most of all like death. If it wasn’t for the oxygen mask strapped to her face, or the lines running through her veins, he would have thought her to be dead.

Poe gave out a shuddering breath, swallowing thickly as his eyes immediately became glassy. He found his lips trembling and couldn’t find the courage to speak. The room fell deathly silent, not a single noise escaping anyone. His brother was eerily quiet….

No one dared to break the silence and Poe was glad for it. The agony on Rose’s face started to make sense now, as his starting matching hers now. He shook his head while looking down, no longer able to tolerate the view of the broken girl stretched across the operating table. He wondered what on earth had happened to her and why she of all people deserved this to happen to her. His throat felt thick, like someone was forcing an object down that he couldn’t swallow.

Poe finally found the strength to utter some sounds, “I don’t understand,” he whispered lowly, even though it came out loud in the utter silence. “What-how…how did this?” He couldn’t even finish, his emotions running high.

Lando slowly came to place his hand on his shoulder, “Please- come with me. I’ll explain everything.”

“What do you mean explain! What happened to her!?” Poe raised his voice, trying to keep his emotions in check but failing. He saw his brother shaking violently from the corner of his eye.

“She was assaulted.” The older man tried to explain calmly while attempting to guide them both out of the room. Ben flinched aggressively when Lando reached for him.

“Assaulted? Assaulted by who!” Poe barked.

“Plutt.”

He turned to his brother who had finally spoken since they entered the room. He couldn’t see Ben’s face but he knew it was his voice that had spoken the name.

Lando sighed deeply, giving himself away that his brother was right.

“Plutt, as in Unkar Plutt, her foster father?”

“He’s. No. Father. To. Her.” Ben growled each word menacingly, yet completely broken, like a demon raging in torment. He shook even harder and Poe flinched.

Poe swallowed thickly, attempting to continue, “Is this true?” He turned towards Lando. “Did he do this?”

The older man buried his forehead in his hands. “We have strong reason to believe, yes he did. I’m so sorry-please you two come with me. There’s much to be explained.”

A moment later a crashing sound made everyone in the room jump, including the nurse aide just outside the room.

Poe turned and saw his brother fling a glass vile at the far window furthest from Rey. He repeated the action twice before the room turned into utter chaos.

“Ben!” Lando roared attempting to restrain him but it didn’t work. He shoved him off so quickly and before he knew it, the sheriff entered. Both of them then grabbed him by the shoulders and drug him out with Poe trialing behind them.

He roared once he was in the medical ward and pushed both Lando and Biggs off him.

Ben then picked up a metal instrument tray and slammed it at the wall, the end of it hitting the nearby glass window leading outside, shattering it to pieces.

Everyone in the ward gasped and cried out in surprise at the boy’s behavior. He began to rage violently and throw objects.

“What in the world is going on!” Dr. Tico finally shouted after hearing all the commotion and rushing to the scene. Poe saw Finn trailing behind him, eyes widening in shock at the scene Ben was making.

“Benjamin!” Lando roared again and attempted to stop him by grabbing his arms.

Ben shoved him aggressively almost making him fall to the floor and Finn snapped at the scene of his father being pushed like that. Poe watched as everyone trying to restrain him failed.

There was a fire burning in Finn’s eyes, one that was simmering the moment Ben had put his hands on Lando. As it was, he didn’t like Ben, there was this rift or wall between them that made it uncomfortable sometimes when hanging out together with his small group of friends. This seemed to be the tipping point though, an excuse to fight him after harboring such feelings for a while. Poe saw Finn ready to lunge at him, the energy in the room running high, and jumped right in front of Ben before he could.

“Ben-stop!” Poe threw his arms around his neck, like they used to wrestle when they were kids and finally got him down.

He was only down for about three seconds before starting back up again.

“Get him out of here!” Dr. Tico shouted from his gut, tired of the scene he was causing in front of everyone in the hospital. 

Before Poe knew it, him, Lando and Biggs were all pulling him out of the hospital, dragging him like a ragdoll. He didn’t fight them off but instead starting trembling violently. They dumped Ben on the steps and he landed on his knees, breathing roughly. His whole frame was shaking and Poe heard his silent cries.

Poe turned to look up at Lando, who was staring down in broken disbelief at his brother. He looked defeated and lost, like he had failed them somehow. Failed his promise to Han that he would always be his uncle.

Poe shook his head at Lando, attempting to apologize to him for the scene that just played out. He stepped closer to him and before he could open his mouth, he heard his brother get up and dash towards the truck.

“Ben!” Poe hollered, watching him jump in the truck and start it before him or Lando had a chance to stop him.

They attempted to open the passenger’s door but he locked it, before punching the gas and skidding out of the parking lot.

Both him and Lando jumped back and watched as he sped off quickly onto the street, disappearing from their sight.

They were both breathing loudly, attempting to catch their breath. Neither of them knew what to say to the other, this was turning into an utter mess real quickly.

Eventually Lando placed his hand on his shoulder, “C’mon son, it’s time to head inside.”

“What about Ben!” He shouted, feeling just as defeated as him. “We can’t leave him alone at a time like this, who knows what he’ll do. What if he tries to go after Plutt!”

“He’s probably already on the way to his house.”

The young man looked up at him shocked, “Well shouldn’t we go after him then?! What if he tries to attack Plutt!”

“He won’t find him there. He fled from the house the night of the assault.”

“What? Oh…,” Poe looked down, relief washing through him that his brother hopefully wouldn’t get himself into trouble for the time being. This was all a terrible horrific mess.

“C’mon buddy, we- we got a lot of explaining to do. And…I have to make a phone call to your mother.”

***

Ben didn’t stop, not even as his brother attempted to open the passenger’s door. He slammed his foot on the gas and dashed down the street. Away from everyone and everything. He didn’t want anyone to be present for what he was about to do.

He needed to do this alone.

He felt his eyes burning, like they were on fire. His very soul was being consumed from the inside out.

Seeing _her_ body like that, seeing _her_ shattered and despicably broken had set a time bomb off within him. A time bomb that couldn’t go completely off, not until he had his hands around Unkar Plutt’s neck. 

Which is exactly what he was going to do. He was going to kill the man, this much he knew. He had killed a man before…and if he could survive that, if he could survive his father, then he could _surely_ survive killing Plutt. His soul was already damned anyway, had been since he took his first life, what difference would this make.

The only difference is that now he can get rid of _her_ monster for good. Even if he died in the process, he didn’t care, _her_ monster would exist no longer.

He pondered if he should take his time or not, kill him slowly or all at once. It would be too easy to finish him off quickly. NO- he wanted to take his time and do everything he had done to _her_. The dark thoughts swarmed in his head.

The blackened eyes, the marks around _her_ neck, the blood and bruising, the red marks all across _her_ body, all of that would be tenfold on him. He would make sure to make him cry out and beg for mercy, mercy that would never come.

He was getting close to her neighborhood, only a few more blocks and he was there.

As he turned the corner, he thought of _her_ bruised lips that used to be so full and damningly enticing. “_How dare he! How dare he touch her!_”

_Her, _his beautiful Rey, his beautiful light that had brought peace to his darkened soul.

Her beautiful smile that would make him breathless, her lovely cheeks that were peppered with heaven’s kiss, her lips that were constantly and maddingly magnetizing and most of all her eyes, that were an endless green field to him, all suddenly became dark. There was no more smile, no more green in her eyes and no more life to her lips.

He stepped on the gas harder the more his thoughts ran until he reached the house. His foot slammed on the breaks with a loud screech as he stopped right in front of the gate. He swung his door open barely remembering to turn off the vehicle and stormed to the front porch.

As he neared the house, he noted the front door was slightly left open.

“_Good, won’t have any trouble getting in_,” Ben snarled to himself as he stomped up the porch stairs.

He busted through the front door of the house, expecting to see Unkar Plutt sitting with a bottle in his hand like usual. Whenever he saw the vile creature, he always had some sort of bottle near him.

But the house was quiet, not a single sound of life present. In his rage he began searching the house, knocking through the rooms and every corner where he thought he could be.

After not finding him inside, he rushed outside to see if he was anywhere around the house but that failed too. Unkar Plutt was nowhere in sight, he was gone.

Ben yelled out in his frustration before heading back inside the house. He went and stood in the living room, noting that there was broken glass and furniture spread about. He started pacing, unable to contain himself, his eyes bouncing all across the room.

His eyes then trailed down to the old wooden floors when he saw it. The small trails of blood, _her_ blood, that were littered across the wooden floor. The floor near the fireplace was stained red and as he looked closer, he noticed a metal pike pole that had small traces of blood left on its’ tip.

It took him a second to realize that he probably used that to beat _her, _the marks on her body must have been caused by him hitting her repeatedly. And the more he stared at the metal pike, the more the marks on her body matched the shape of it.

His mind went down a dark path as he started to think of _her_ cries, of _her _agony. He could hear _her_ cries of pain, _her_ whimpers of fear, _her_ begging him to please stop and most of all he could hear _her _calling out for him, calling out for him to save _her _as Plutt tortured her body.

In his head Ben could hear his name on her lips every time Plutt struck her. A cry out for help, a cry out for salvation. 

But, he never came for her…he had failed her…he failed to protect her. He failed to keep her safe and happy…he failed to love her.

An agonizing cry escaped his chest and before he knew it, he was flipping the furniture upside down and completely thrashing every object he could lay his finger on. He threw the furniture around like small toys, the crashing sounds giving him some sort of satisfaction in his misery, in his personal hell where his light was snuffed out from him, lying broken in a hospital bed. He thrashed the entire living room and then moved to the kitchen where he broke every single glass object in sight. The small wooden table was completely cracked in half and the poor excuse for cupboards were ripped off the hinges.

His eyes then landed on Plutt’s bedroom and he thrashed that room the most. Ripping and tearing and shredding every single lousy possession he owned that his hands could find. He thrashed the entire house, except _her_ room. He left _her_ room in perfect peace, he would never harm a possession of hers. And while he thought about seriously setting the house on fire, he couldn’t do that with _her_ belongings present. At least that small rational part of his brain was still functioning.

Tired, bruised and bloodied, his hands were dripping now, Ben walked back to the living room like a zombie. He stood in the middle of the tiny rundown house and just stared at nothing, while his nostrils flared. His brain felt numb, just like his entire body, he was heaving.

After a minute of silence, his eyes were snagged on something in the fireplace. He stalked over to the fireplace again and reached inside where he saw the object still sticking out. When he pulled it out, he realized it was a book or at least the remnants to a book. All that was left was the hinging, he turned to examine it and could hardly make out the title.

The closer he looked, he realized it was the book he had given her last Christmas. A copy of the original text. He let the book’s remnants fall to ground and collapsed onto his knees.

The air rushed out of him and he shoved his head into the ground with his hands in fists above his head, pounding harshly on the wooden boards.

He started to cry, cry for real this time. He felt himself choking on his own sobs as they tried to push their way out. He hadn’t cried like this since he killed his father.

Rey had seen a small version of it, when he broke down in front of her in the hangar, but that was nothing compared to this.

He eventually fell onto his side and laid on the cold floor, curling in on himself into a ball. He felt like a small child, weak, foolish and nimble. Like a stupid naïve child who should have known better.

How stupid could he have been to not know this would happen. It was obvious since the moment he realized that Plutt was spying on them over the weekend that this would be the outcome.

This was his fault, he couldn’t deny it, he would blame himself forever. And he would gladly carry that burden, just like he carried his father’s death. If he had just forced her to stay with him that evening, if he had just waited an extra five minutes outside her house, if he had just busted through the door and stopped Plutt right then and there, none of this would have happened.

Ironic isn’t it? His father’s demise was filled with a bunch of would’ve, should’ve, could’ve and now _hers_ was too.

His beautiful Rey would still be alive and smiling, would still be able to open her eyes and laugh, would still be able to hold his hand and lean on him for warmth. Her soft fingers that felt like heaven to him, her touch that would burn him forever and her feet that would stand on his, would still all be his had he acted sooner. He should’ve been there, he should’ve stopped Plutt but he didn’t. Just like he didn’t listen to his father and pushed him over the ledge.

A darkness started filling his heart, the same darkness he felt after being labeled a murder, a monster. He now added failure to the list.

He cried and screamed and shouted into the wooden floor, letting his agony drown him. For once in his life he just wanted to die, to just fall asleep on the floor and never wake up. If **she** never did wake, then he was certain he wouldn’t either.

But he wouldn’t let himself get to that point, not until he spilt Unkar Plutt’s blood across the floor.

***

Leia Organa sits in her office at city hall completely drained and exhausted. Today is Wednesday, four days since the assault and every minute of it has felt like a living nightmare that’s never ending.

Yesterday…had been the worst day so far. In the late morning she received a call from Lando, explaining that the cat was out of the bag and all hell had broken loose. She remembers physically tensing at his words and a terrible dread overcoming her to the point where she went completely mute.

All in all, her actions to protect her son had backfired immensely, to the point where she doubted if she was qualified to even call herself a mother. Was she even a good mother or at least a decent one?

After examining Rey’s condition over the past few days, which hadn’t improved, she concluded that she was at least a decent one, there were others who were much more worse….

On top of the damages caused at the hospital yesterday, her son had completely wrecked Plutt’s home and then, when the police finally found him and escorted him back to their home, he completely thrashed the dining room.

Yelling and screaming at her from the top of his lungs for lying to him and keeping the truth hidden was only the icing on the cake. He broke their new set of china ware and glass figurines just imported as a gift from some old time acquaintance of her fathers.

The whole house froze during his outburst, including the staff, no one had tried to stop him. Not even her other son.

He just watched from the background, completely silent during his brother’s rage.

She knew then that she had failed Poe too. The look on his face told her that he was disappointed in her for keeping the truth hidden. And that she had probably made things worse by doing so.

After Ben’s outrage, she saw the weariness and sorrow permanently etched onto his pale face. He looked so tired, his eyes were bloodshot red from crying so much and he looked so sad. Her own tears had fallen after she saw him march to his room completely defeated and slam the door shut.

She had swallowed her own sobs down, shaking her head to steady herself but could not help the tears falling. She wanted nothing more than to run to her son and cradle him, hold him like she used to when he was a baby and he would cry for her. She wanted to pull her son into her arms but she knew he was too upset with her.

“Mother,” Poe cut in as she attempted to hide her tears from him. “It’ll be ok…just give him some time.” His voice was tired and stressed out, but he was used to this, used to dealing with this ever since she adopted him.

She cleared her throat loudly, “I know. We all just-”

Her emotions got the best of her and she couldn’t even finish. She swallowed again, “We all just need some time to process things. …Can you forgive me?”

Poe had looked down and she feared the worst. “When were you going to tell us Leia? Did you really think this was the best idea?”

“I was trying to prevent the inevitable, but it looks like I was wrong. He would’ve reacted either way if I had told you all the day it happened or now,” she choked out, try to still her trembling voice. “The only difference now is that I’ve made him angry at me.”

“I know,” her son had kicked a small piece of glass away from his shoe. “I think we need to focus on Rey’s recovery now. There’s no use on dwelling on what ifs.”

Leia sighed and came over to place her hand on his cheek. “I love you very much,” she whispered with tears glistening in her eyes. “And I am so sorry for lying to you.”

Poe pressed his lips into a thin line, leaning his cheek into her palm. She could tell he was contemplating her apology, contemplating what she had just said. He had eventually nodded, giving her a tight smile.

“When you’re a father one day,” Leia started. “I hope you understand what it means to protect your children. I’ve failed so many times and I want to prevent you from making the same mistakes I did. Sometimes parents do things that their children never find out and its’ for their own good. And other times, not so good. My job is to protect you and Ben at all costs. And though I went about it the wrong way, you’ll understand one day the hard decisions I’ve had to make. But because your young and naïve to understand what it is to have children, you won’t comprehend any of it. But you will one day I promise you.” She stepped up on her tip toes to place a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“I know my apology is broken, but please understand. If not today, you will eventually.”

Poe nodded at his mother before hugging her. They had stayed like that for a few moments, just basking in each other’s comfort. Eventually he had released her and headed to his room to rest, tired of the day’s events.

Leia sighed as she continued to recall the events from yesterday. As she sat in her office now away from home, she had time to think over all of it. Yesterday had been an utter nightmare.

But, she didn’t have time to dwell on it right now, she didn’t have time to dwell on Ben being angry with her still. She needed to keep searching for Plutt, they needed to detain the assailant. And the investigation was in full blown motion now. Her discussion with the chief of police had gone exceedingly well in her favor. Being the mayor had its’ perks and she was glad she was able to use them in situations such as this.

She started busying herself with paperwork when the phone on her desk rang loudly, startling her in the process.

She picked it up swiftly and recognized the chief of police’s voice on the other line. After a few seconds she stood up from her desk, surprised at the news he was giving her. Her heart started pounding and an adrenaline rush took over her.

“I’ll be there right away!” She stated sternly, a bolt of excitement at the news that they were finally getting somewhere in this mess.

“Thank you chief, I’ll see you in a few,” with that she hung up the phone and ordered for her driver to ready the car. The chief had just given her some news that she wanted to hear.

Unkar Plutt had been found and detained.

Leia entered the police station and was escorted towards the interrogation room. As she entered, she was greeted by Lando and Biggs along with the chief and other officers. She looked through the glass window of the interrogation room and saw Unkar Plutt sitting on the other side of the room for questioning. He looked awful, his clothes were run down, he had bruising on his face and he looked like a dirty tramp.

“We’re about to start the interrogation now. We wanted you to be present,” chief Wedge stated sternly as he gave her a slight head nod.

“Where did you find him?” She gritted out, not removing her eyes from him. For some reason seeing him in person made it so much worse.

“He was hiding out in the back of bar, got a tip from one of the local gamblers that he was swindling money under the table for a local gang. And that he’s been hiding there since late Saturday night.” Chief Wedge explained.

“Please don’t say the Guavian Death Gang,” Leia moaned, already hating the man even more.

“It appears so.”

“Well this is good news right?” Lando interjected, sensing her distress. “We’ll have more criminal evidence against him.”

“Yes,” Leia sighed, “But the Guavians are brutal and we’ve been trying to fight them for years. I wanted to avoid any confrontation with them at all costs but it looks like Plutt won’t let us.”

“We’re ready to begin,” sheriff Biggs cut in.

Wedge nodded at him and he gave the ok for the interrogation to commence.

Lando stood next to Leia alongside the chief as Biggs and another officer entered the questioning room. They were protected by the soundproof wall but could hear and see everything on the other side. There was a mirror on Plutt’s side so he couldn’t look into the other room and Leia was grateful for it.

She would be throwing him hateful daggers and didn’t want to disrupt the interrogation process.

“Mr. Plutt,” Biggs began professionally while clearing his throat, “Do you know why you are here?”

Everyone on Leia’s side of the room fell silent.

After a few moments of the question hanging in the air, the vile man leaned over the table and scowled at the man sitting across from him. “No, why would I know why I’m here,” he mocked.

Sheriff Biggs sighed, “I think you know why you are here Mr. Plutt. We are here regarding multiple reasons but let’s get to the biggest one first.” He leaned over the table more, “Why were you hiding out in a bar and what do you know about your foster child Rey.”

Plutt scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Your foster daughter Rey was found bloodied and bruised and beaten Saturday night and we have strong reason to believe-”

“It was me,” Plutt blurted. “I did it!” A sadistic laugh escaped his throat, so chilling that everyone in the room froze. Disbelief and shock clear on everyone’s faces.

“Sir,” Biggs began sternly, clearly disturbed by his outburst of laughter, “Are you saying that you were the one who assaulted her Saturday night?”

“Yep-it was me,” he threw his hands up in the air mockingly, like he had been caught. “I beat the little whore and you know what- She. Deserved. Every. Second. Of. It.” He pointed his finger at the sheriff across from him after punctuating each word proudly, like it was his life’s greatest accomplishment.

Leia gritted her teeth, she started heaving and Lando placed his arm around her to soothe her.

“Well…at least we got a confession,” Wedge breathed out barely audible. The air in the room was sickening by Plutt’s demeanor. 

“Mr. Plutt, do you realize that assault is against the law in this country?” He was growing irritated with the man quickly.

“Yes, of course it is,” he spoke to him stupidly, like this entire thing was a joke. “But I didn’t assault her purposefully your honor,” a sickening smile stretched its’ way onto his crooked lips. “It was self-defense.”

Leia snorted, shaking her head as Lando continued to rub soothing circles on her back. She was finding it very hard to contain herself.

“Self-defense?” He questioned, surprised by the man’s response.

“Yes, you see the girl started it first. She beat me on the back with a metal pike and I got the marks to prove it. And! You see this busted thing here,” he pointed to his nose that was swollen and purple, completely disfigured, “She punched me straight across my face. So, let me ask you this your honor,” he mocked. “Is self-defense against the law!” He roared so loud, practically spitting in the man’s face.

Everyone flinched including Biggs.

“Where’s the proof that this was self-defense?!” He shot back.

“I just told you! Why don’t you ask the little harlot herself. She’ll tell ya, she’s the one who started it!” Plutt roared again, this time urging the other officer to move and restrain him. Chaos was about to erupt.

“If it was self-defense, then why did you run? Why hide away?” Biggs gritted out, slamming him with the obvious. 

“That ain’t none of your business,” he snarled. “That’s not why we’re here, right. We’re here about the little slut and nothing else!”

“I don’t think that’s the case. If you think we’re only here about Rey you got another thing coming,” he scoffed at him with a hard edge to his eyes, barely able to contain the seething anger building inside of him.

“Oh- well you all do too.” Plutt shot back as a matter of fact, gesturing with his hands towards the people on the other side of the mirror whom he knew where watching. Leia took it as a threat.

He continued on, “Cuz I already got a lawyer. And he’ll be seeing all of you in court including the girl.”

Leia stepped back, rubbing her hands on her head. She was getting a headache and succumbing to her angry fire fast.

While she was glad they got a confession out of him, she hadn’t expected him to get a lawyer so soon…or one at all. Who would represent such a man.

“Oh yeah, and who’s your lawyer?” Biggs shot back at him.

After a moment of silence, he placed an evil knowing smile on his lips. As if he was dropping the ball on all of them. “It’s none other than the great Wilhuff Tarkin,” he sneered busting into a cruel fit of laughter.

“Bastard!” Leia barked, almost punching the glass, completely being caught off guard by the name. Everyone in the room turned to her, surprised by her colorful outburst. They had never heard her speak that way before, she was supposed to be a lady of power and grace not someone who loses her temper. But to hell with it at this point, he had just hired the most cunning and conniving man she had ever met.

“Leia,” Lando whispered in her ear, trying to bring her down. “Perhaps its’ best if you step out.”

She was shaking furiously as her rage at the audacity of the man started consuming her. She eventually gained the strength and composer to restrain herself and nodded towards him, agreeing with his suggestion.

She apologized to everyone for her outburst and exited the interrogation room with as much dignity she had left.

There was a whole nother battle to be fought now. With Tarkin in the picture, she feared the worst. She was going to need a good lawyer….

***

Poe had no idea what he was doing as he slammed his foot on the gas pedal and raced towards the police station. When he heard from Finn that Plutt was detained, he already decided that it was probably best for everyone to keep this information under wraps. Until it was the right time, even though no time appeared to be the right time. 

But of course, Ben had found out immediately. He overheard a conversation with their mother over the phone.

Apparently Plutt was getting a lawyer and she was busying herself with finding one for Rey. He wondered who would be stupid enough to represent him until he heard Trakin’s name come up. Poe gritted his teeth just at the very sound of it. Fitting that a ruthless and cutting man would represent another just like him.

Leia had no idea that Ben had overheard the entire ordeal and she didn’t notice when he dashed outside and into his truck. Fire and anguishing rage consuming him.

He skidded out of the driveway and he knew exactly where his brother was going.

He was going to the police station to kill Unkar Plutt. He saw it in his eyes and a horrible dread overtook him.

Before Poe could even attempt to stop him, he was already barreling towards his truck, and taking off from him. 

Poe ended up jumping into his own vehicle, the convertible that he had promised to give Rey a ride in someday and dashed down the street chasing his brother.

They were now racing each other, both trying to reach the police station before the other. It was like they both knew what the other was thinking. One was trying to prevent and the other take.

They both ended up arriving at the same time, thanks to Poe taking a short cut through an alley, an alley that was about to prevent the worst.

He dashed out of the car and raced towards the station’s entrance. Before Ben could crash through the doors, he slammed into him so hard that he fell back and landed on the bottom of the stairs.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Ben roared like a wild animal as he snapped up from the fall instantly.

“I could ask you the same question Ben!”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

“NO!” He shouted back.

His brother then attempted to get pass him, but Poe didn’t let him.

This resulted in them physically fighting one another, both shoving and pushing, while others around began to watch the commotion start playing out. 

“Let go of me!” Ben yelled as Poe wrapped his arms around his neck. He wasn’t going to let go though, not if it meant saving his brother’s life.

Ben then body slammed him into the ground, the sheer force of his weight making him release his hold around his neck.

His brother stood back up quickly and was about to dart inside the building before Poe reached his leg up and kicked him hard right behind the knee.

Ben tripped from the blow to behind his leg with a loud snarl. It was just enough of a delay for Poe to wrap his arms around him again and tackle him back to the floor.

They wrestled relentlessly on the ground, each one not giving the other a chance to give in. The frustrated growls and grunts from their fighting eventually drew a bigger crowd around.

People started gasping and whispering to one another, frightened by the scene.

Poe never thought in his life that he would ever have to fight Ben this hard. He had so much rage, so much anger, so much hurt that he wondered if he should just give in and let him enter the station to kill Plutt. He would deserve it anyway, after what he did to Rey. Poe was even tempted to assist him in killing him.

But no good thing comes out of taking another life, this much he understood after examining his brother after Han’s death. It’ll eat at you, completely dull your senses until you’re nothing but an empty corpse. Which is exactly what he turned into for the longest time…until _she_ showed up and turned his world upside down. And now that small glimmer of light and life in his life was being taken from him.

And his pain was too great.

“Ben stop!” He shouted as they pushed and pulled, both struggling to dominate. He eventually gained the upper hand and shoved Ben’s face into the ground, the grass kissing his cheek. He was grateful that their fighting had pushed them onto the lawn.

He pushed harder as Ben growled.

If it wasn’t for their rough housing as children, he wouldn’t know his weak points and vise versa.

Poe dug his knee into his side as Ben pulled at his shoulder. It was starting to hurt and pinning him down was tiring him out quickly.

“Ben listen to me!”

“NO! GET OFF ME!”

He elbowed Poe right in the gut, causing him to gasp for air. He shook a little and it was just enough for Ben to gain the upper hand.

Ben slammed him again into the ground, causing his breath to leave him and stood to dash into the police station. Poe turned onto his side, moaning in pain as it seared up his side.

There was no use, Ben was just too physically stronger than him, he was losing this battle. He could not keep him down no matter how much he physically tried. Since physicality had failed, it was time for voice and reason. What else did he have left?

“If you do this! You’ll never see her again!” Poe shouted so loud that everyone heard. He was trying to catch his breath, the pain in his gut starting to throb even more.

“If you kill him! You’ll be a murder! You’ll never get to be with her!”

Ben froze, just as he was about to exit the lawn and climb the station’s steps.

Poe saw this as his opportunity and ran with it. It was now or never. “Think about it Ben,” he stood and moved closer to him cautiously, not wanting to scare him away. His voice lowering so the others around them couldn’t hear much. One wrong move and he would miss his chance to stop him. “If you kill him right now, you’ll be arrested and locked up. Behind bars for good, and then what? When Rey wakes up, she won’t be able to see you and you her. You’ll stay locked away and any chance to be by her side will be taken from you. What’ll happen when she needs your comfort, needs your strength, needs you by her, to hold her hand and…cherish her. You can’t do those things if you’re locked up! You’ll fail her by abandoning her when she needs you most!”

Ben started heaving, his whole form shaking as he took in his brother’s words.

“But,” Poe stepped closer, “If you let the law handle this, let our mother handle this, justice will be brought the right way, without you losing her. If you come with me and don’t do this, you can be right by her side when she comes to. And the first thing she’ll see is you.”

Ben let out a shuddering breath as he turned to his brother roughly with tears in his eyes.

“You know I’m right,” Poe placed his hand on his shoulder gently, like a trainer attempting to tame a wild animal. “Don’t do something that will cause you the same pain as when he died.” He emphasized the “he”, indicating his father. “That death lost you your father, this death will lose you Rey.”

Ben stared at his brother completely lost, like a young child wandering in the desert. He looked between his eyes and then at nothing, his own eyes turning his words over and over in his head.

Pondering the outcomes, Poe could tell he was turning over the consequences of his decisions in his head. This was a stake in the road for him, a life decision that he had to make. The severity of it was hanging in the air.

Ben had made the mistake of not listening last time and it cost him his father. If he didn’t listen this time, what would happen. What would be the outcome, what would happen if rationality and reason were thrown to the wind in exchange for blinding rage.

After a considerable amount of pondering, Poe could see the rationality finally taking place on his features. He could either go left or right and only one outcome would get him Rey.

The outcome where he could be there when she wakes up.

The outcome where he turns around and walks away from slaughtering Unkar Plutt.

“I failed her,” a heartbroken whisper finally escapes Ben’s lips, as he stares at nothing. “I already failed her-how can I be by her side now?” The tears slide down his cheeks as he grits his teeth, sorrow and fury mixed into one.

“That’s what you think,” Poe started hesitantly, almost unsure of what he was going to say. “But I’m sure she’ll feel otherwise. You didn’t fail her Ben- her…her caretaker did. Your job now is to not fail to be there when she needs you. Deep down, I know you truly don’t want to do this.”

His brother scoffed bitterly, shaking his head at the thought of him not failing her and not actually wanting to go through with this. Of course he failed her, how could he have not, he should’ve been there, he should’ve protected her. And of course he wanted to go through with killing Plutt. But….

“Ben? Ple-”

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” He blurted it out on instinct, cutting off Poe before he could finish. The same words from **that** day haunted him again.

“You do,” Poe exclaimed. “But the choice is yours if you want to use that strength or not. The choice is yours if you want to use your strength to overcome your weakness- your pain.”

Ben shuddered again while looking away from the building, this time moving down the lawn, away from the stairs, completely lethargic.

Could he really live with himself being labeled as a monster again, a murder, a killer? Outside of the satisfaction for revenge, he wasn’t so sure.

Plutt had damaged his beautiful Rey, but was that worth throwing her way in the process of killing her abuser. At first he thought so, but now Ben wasn’t sure yet again.

Before Poe had another chance to continue, his brother fell to his knees, the entirety of the situation finally overcoming him. His form sank into the grass as he wept bitterly. His sobs were rough but only loud enough for him to hear. He shook and snorted as his cries grew gently more louder.

Poe sighed, finally realizing he had won this battle, this battle that was about to destroy him and everyone else he loved. The voice of reason had been the answer.

He walked over to Ben and knelt beside him, wrapping his arm gently around his back. “It’s alright buddy, it’s ok.” He comforted him as his cries grew more desperate. This wasn’t a cry of anger or furry, no- this was a cry of helplessness and sorrow. He could sense his sadness leaking into him and before Poe knew it, he had his own tears that were threatening to fall.

He stayed with his brother, not moving an inch until he was ready to move. Eventually the small crowd watching moved away, some lingering, watching the mayor’s sons completely fleshed open.

His family had enough publicity, but Poe could care less, his brother needed him and he had just prevented him from making another huge mistake in his life. He knew the situation was bad for his brother to be crying in public, he never would have shown this much emotion in front of people if his brother didn’t love the broken girl on the hospital bed, fighting for her life, fighting to wake up again.

God his family could be so tiring! But-after thinking about it, Poe decided he wouldn’t trade it in for anything.

Relief washed through him at the thought of him just saving what he loved. That’s how his family was going to win this battle, not by fighting what they hated but by saving what they loved.

***

Lando and Chewie both sit outside the surgical bay at the hospital. Exhausted and tired from everything going on. The day’s events were finally starting to take its’ toll on everyone.

Maz Kanata eventually walks out from Rey’s room with tears in her eyes, trying to compose herself.

Chewie takes his wife into his arms as she cries softly into his shoulder, the horrific sight too much for her. After a long minute he releases her as she tuns to Lando.

“Well…all we have left now is hope.” She tries to smile but it barley reaches her eyes.

“Thanks for coming out you two,” Lando reaches over and hugs them both.

“Of course,” Chewie clears his throat of the emotion threatening to overcome him. “We came as soon as Leia called, I’m sorry we couldn’t come sooner. You look tired Lando, why not go home and rest?”

Lando gave out a deep sigh, “I can’t do that right now. I barely got my son to go home and rest but now, I have someone else I gota watch out for.”

“Someone else? The sheriff is here and Plutt is detained, who else could you be-”

Lando cut him off by gesturing to the broken window and glass still lingering throughout the ward.

“Oh, right,” was all Chewie had to say to understand. “Little starfighter, …he’s not taking this well I heard. It’s why Leia sent me here too and called for me at the house.”

“I’m afraid…he won’t recover from this if she doesn’t wake up,” Lando’s voice was fearful, almost terrified at the thought.

“I know,” Chewie stressed. “I feared it since the moment I got the call from his mother. The boy almost lost his sense of peace and happiness,” he remarked as he gazed at the broken window.

“Happiness?” Lando questioned, surprised by his friend’s choice of words.

Chewie gave out a small weak laugh. “Yes, happiness. I know you haven’t been around the boy since Han’s death, which you should really work on by the way, but the boy is utterly and obviously smitten.”

“Smitten?” He questioned, trying not to get annoyed at the dab his longtime friend had shot at him for not talking to the boy since the funeral. “You mean?”

Before Chewie could respond, one of the sheriffs interrupted them by stating they had a visitor.

Both Lando and Chewie gave each other a look before exiting the surgical bay with Maz in tow, forgetting the conversation they were just having. As they walked towards the entrance of the ward, they saw none other than Ben Solo, standing at the receptionist desk. He had his head down and hands dangling at his sides, like he was some distraught prisoner awaiting his sentence.

Both men tensed as they saw him, surprised the sheriff hadn’t kicked him out the moment he tried to set foot. He made a terrible impression the last time he was here, with good reason of course but the damages to the hospital were still fresh. Dr. Tico was not happy about his outburst, but Leia had promised to pay for every single damage as soon as possible.

“Hey there Starfighter,” Lando began stiffly, trying to remain neutral as he eyed the boy.

Ben slowly looked up at the two men and Maz before they all flinched.

Chewie hadn’t seen his face so downcast and shattered since his father’s death. The pain and agony were clear as day on his face.

“What are you doing here buddy,” Chewie began softly, his chest constricting at the look on his face. He thought about coming closer to place his hand on him comfortingly but hesitated, this boy was broken beyond a gentle reassuring gesture.

“I want to see her,” he mumbled, like a child afraid of being rejected their request.

Lando stiffened, “Are you sure about that, last time you were here, you practically destroyed the ward.”

Maz and Chewie gave Lando a scolding look, not liking the tone he used with him, urging him to continue with positive reinforcement.

Lando sighed, knowing they were right, “Look here kid, the police aren’t very fond of your last visit.”

“I know. …Please just let me see her, I promise I won’t,” he swallowed thickly, trying to clear the sob building in his throat. “I won’t destroy anything. Not anymore.”

Lando looked at Chewie who nodded his agreement with the boy’s request. Ben seemed sincere enough that he had to trust his instincts to let him by.

“Alright, I’ll go talk to the sheriff,” Lando turned and left them standing there, waiting to see if they would let him in.

A few moments later he returned and nodded at the boy. “They’ve agreed to let you sit with her for a few minutes but as soon as the sun goes down, you’ll have to leave immediately. And…any more outbursts will result in permanent ban from visiting the hospital.”

Ben nodded, surprise coloring his face that they had actually let him in.

“Charles,” Maz cut in, “Why don’t you and Lando take him in. I’ll wait outside in the car.” She gave his arm a gentle squeeze, before moving to the teenager across from her and placing her hand on his pale cheek. “Have hope my dear,” she stated sternly, hoping the boy would find the strength to gain some. She released her hand form his cheek and exited the hospital’s entrance.

“Alright, shall we,” Chewie breathed out before they started moving towards the surgical bay.

Once at the entrance, the officer there gave Ben a pointed look, one that he probably deserved. Both the older men nodded at the officer as he let them in.

As they stepped inside, both Chewie and Lando lingered at the back but didn’t remove their eyes from the young man. They wanted to gauge his reaction to seeing her again and once the coast was clear that no violence would erupt, they would step out.

They watched Ben as he gazed at her, so much emotion in his eyes that it shook them to the core. There were so many emotions flickering there, one which was the most obvious.

Lando then turned to exit with Chewie trailing him. They waited outside the surgical room to give the boy some privacy, it became clear that he wouldn’t react violent in their absence.

Something in the air hung between the two men, something obvious that they both now had to admit out loud. How blind Lando had been previously, it made him wonder how he could have missed it.

Perhaps he never thought it a possibility, but boy had he been wrong.

“I know that look in his eyes,” he blurted to no one but Chewie after a considerable amount of time. “It’s the same way Han used to look at his mother.” Lando gave out a huge sigh, recalling where he had seen that look before. Back when they were young and dumb and foolishly naïve, easily persuaded and smitten. The same love in his father’s eyes when he would look at Leia was exactly how the boy was looking at Rey inside the room.

Chewie scoffed and laughed at Lando’s assessment. “Now you’re starting to get with the program. If you had been around more, you would’ve seen it from the beginning.”

“I suppose that would be my fault.”

Chewie scoffed, “You _do_ remember the promise we made to Han when the boy was first born right. We were supposed to-”

“I know the promise we made!” Lando barked, growing irritated the longer this conversation continued down this train of thought. “Can we not have this discussion right now.”

“Then when Lando? When the boy’s dying on his death bed.” The sarcasm was thick in his voice.

“Look,” he turned towards Chewie sharply, “I’ll handle my issues with the boy later, when the time is right, but now is most definitely not the time.”

“They’ll never be a time,” Chewie snapped back at him.

Lando rolled his eyes. “Would you just butt out for once.”

“Oh so now I butt in too much. So much for lifelong friendship.”

“You’ve always been a jealous thorn in my side Charles!”

Both men were heated now, their conversation turning confrontational.

But deep down they knew they couldn’t truly fight or stay mad at one another, unless it was a serious game of sabacc.

“I’m only jealous when you cheat your way out of things. Like fixing things with the boy!” 

“Hey! My cheating saved all of our lives back in France let’s not forget that. We’re all alive today because I cheated our way through an arial battle.”

“Kriffing hell, you always bring up the war don’t you. You’re so good at getting yourself out of a bind, always have been, yet you can’t get yourself out of your anger towards Ben!”

“Bug off Charles,” he gritted before moving to leave. He walked away from his friend, his _brother_, no longer wanting to dwell on his issues or anything to do with the boy. It had been a long few days since Saturday night and he was rather growing tired with everyone…including himself.

***

Inside the room Ben feels cold, there is no warmth to his body. He slowly walks over to her bed, completely numb and sits himself in the chair beside her. And then forces himself to look at her, to just stare at her.

His eyes roam her entire form before he swallows thickly, attempting to fight back his sorrow. He gnaws on the inside of his mouth as he bites back a scream, he can taste the blood from biting so hard.

The blood and grime have been cleaned from her body and face, but the bruising and marks remain, as a constant torment to him.

Perhaps he was never meant to have anything good in his life. Everything he cherished was eventually taken from him. This was his punishment, his hell for the wrong deeds he had done, for taking his father’s life. He never thought it would be in the form of losing _her_.

With shaky hands he reaches for hers and wraps his hands around her cold fingers.

He brings her lifeless hand up to his cheek and begins to tremble as he realizes how cold she is next to his skin. He keeps her hand surrounded by his as he finally lets the tears fall again.

They fall heavily onto her bed sheet, staining it. His lips wobble and shake as more tears fall, this time on her bruised arm. He’s breathing through his nose, attempting to make them even, even though he feels like he can’t breath. With all his soul he wishes that he could trade places with her and take her place on the bed, broken and shattered. It should’ve been him suffering not her.

A small part of his brain wishes that this was some sort of fairy tale story. Where he could kiss her lips and wake her up from this hellish death, like the movie that they had just watched together, where the prince kissed his princess and she awoke. He wishes for once that he could pretend that this is like one of those stories and when his lips land on hers, everything would be good again. No more pain, no more suffering, his love for her would break this curse of death.

But this is not one of those stories, this is reality, the harsh reality of life that people always seem to want to forget…even him.

After attempting to compose himself and stop his crying, he leans over the bed and places his mouth next to her head tenderly. His lips graze her ear as he finds the strength to speak through his tears and quiet sobs.

Ben starts whispering in her ear, heartbrokenly and secretive, for her ears only. He doesn’t stop though, as he brings her hand up to his cheek and places a gentle kiss there and continues to mumble deeply in her ear.

***

**Saturday Night**

The last thing Rey remembers before slipping into utter darkness is the vision of the baby girl with Ben’s wild raven hair.

After that, everything is blank, empty and dark…for what feels like an eternity.

A moment later the emptiness fades and Rey can feel things. In the vast darkness she begins to feel emotions and feelings but can’t comprehend them. The most prominent feeling though is pain. Which surprises her.

She’s supposed to be dead, after death comes peace and rest, right?

It’s why people always say rest in peace.

But she doesn’t feel peace.

“_Am I in hell_?”

Rey didn’t know much about heaven or hell, but she knew that good people are supposed to go to heaven and bad people to hell.

It’s why she always used to yell at Plutt to go to hell.

But-perhaps the man upstairs had rejected her and she was doomed to serve an eternity in darkness.

It made sense really. Her parents and her whole time on earth had rejected her and now, even in the afterlife she had been rejected. Rejected of peace and rest.

“_I guess… it’s what I deserve, why did I think death would be any different_.”

She wishes she could escape this hell, but she can’t. This is her punishment for all time, to be alone in agonizing darkness.

Another feeling starts to surface in her consciousness. A strange one.

“_Itchy, I feel… itchy_.”

The uncomfortable feeling starts to generate throughout her entire body. Cold, itchy and pain are the three feelings her consciousness processes.

After another long moment of feeling these things, her eyes flutter open into utter darkness. Which is strange since she thought her eyes were already open. She can’t see anything though, the world is shrouded in black, her eyes practically sealed shut yet the only thing visible are bright lights in the sky.

She recognizes the bright lights as stars, stars sitting scattered across the night sky. It looks as if the whole universe is spread out before her in darkness except the lights. She can only see out of one eye for some odd reason and even that is failing her quickly. She finally realizes that she’s lying down on her back, her entire body flat on the ground, as she gazes upward.

“_So…pretty_,” she thinks as she stares up into the stars in a daze, barley able to make out the shapes. She’s still in so much pain but at least she’s not in hell, at least not anymore. She’s in the in-between she thinks, not in heaven or hell but perhaps the middle ground, the dream world where death carries you away eventually. The dream world where everything is dark and all that can be seen are pretty stars. A world between worlds, a gateway to life or death or in her case death.

The itchy feeling returns stronger this time and she can barely move her hand to look for its’ source. Slowly she shifts her fingers against the ground and feels- “_Pokey_?” She has no strength to grasp but can feel- “_Grass_?” Yes grass, it must be grass, she can’t see it, the darkness clouding her vision, but she can feel. It’s so dark, she can’t even see her own hand, but she can feel.

Slowly she tries to move to sit up but cries out in searing agony. Her entire body is on fire and she can’t move. Pain is shooting throughout her entire frame, starting from her head all the way down to her feet.

She’s supposed to be dead! She shouldn’t be feeling any pain!

Perhaps she is in hell after all, her false hope had failed her again, even in the afterlife.

After laying on her back for what felt like forever, she grew tired of the bright stars, she was cold and in agonizing pain. She needed to move to escape this torment.

With a gentle push that made her cry out she flipped onto her side and then after resting for a few minutes, flipped onto her belly. The process had been excruciatingly painful, like someone was pulling on her insides, she felt a liquid from the back of her head throb.

She began to crawl in the darkness, practically dragging herself as her legs had no strength left in them. She could not even see her own arms as they attempted to move, her eyes and the darkness wouldn’t allow her. Her entire body burned each time she drug her limb form across the cold grass that she couldn’t see. If it weren’t for the itchy sensation, she wouldn’t have had any idea what she was moving against on the ground.

She had no sense of direction, no idea where she was going, she just moved in the vast abyss that was the afterlife. It was like wandering blind in utter darkness.

What if she stayed like this for all eternity? Lost, blind, cold, dark, alone, in agony, wandering through an endless grass plane for forever with no escape. A fear gripped her so tightly, she felt like she couldn’t breathe, in fact it hurt to breath. Her face ached each time she took a breath.

After what felt like an entire lifetime of wandering in darkness, she saw a light, bright, barely visible but a light none the less. She crawled towards it, screaming in agony before she realized she was bleeding from her head. She could feel the liquid sliding down her neck and onto her bare spine. The smell of it filing the air, it was like a snake slithering across her back.

“_I’m going to the light, I won’t give up_!” She panicked as she thought of the light fading and leaving her in the pitch black.

The pain grew worse and she screamed out again in agonizing terror, afraid that her body wouldn’t make it to the light, that it would fail her. But she wouldn’t stop moving, not if it meant some small piece of light in her personal hell. Something to cling to in this endless and eternal damnation.

Once she crawled up next to the light, she could see a road next to it. The light was a lamp post she thought and it led down a road way path.

“_Roads? The afterlife has… roads_?”

Gritting her teeth and biting back the pain, she finally found the strength to stand. She started limping down the road, wobbling in agony that made tears pour out of her sealed sockets. She tripped more than once and landed flat on her damaged face but was determined. Determined not to stay put and suffer in this dark nightmarish hell. She could taste blood in her mouth every time she hit the ground but it didn’t stop her.

“_Just get to the end of the road, just get to the end of the road._” The thought was on an endless loop in her head.

Perhaps her reward would be at the end of the road she thought.

What if this was just some test, some test to prove herself. Prove her worthiness to enter the good place with the man upstairs. Her personal purgatory, her trial to make it to heaven. She could do this, she could pass this test, she could escape this world between worlds. If it meant an end to her eternal suffering, she would push on, despite the pain, despite the agony, despite the sorrow, she would finish what she started.

After limping down the road for forever with no end in sight, she thought about giving in.

That was until she looked up and saw- “_A house_?” That shone brightly under the reflection of a streetlight.

_“Now there’s houses here too?” _Things were getting stranger and stranger the longer she dwelled in this in-between.

She moved towards the house and found herself crawling up the porch, with no strength left in her. She was about to brake. Barely able to lift her hand she rapt desperately on the front door, a pain traveling up her hand as she did. She had no idea what she was doing, but maybe this house could save her somehow, save her soul. Desperation always made her do desperate things…especially as a child with Plutt. She had learned that.

No answer came as she knocked again, her hand barley able to move. After a long moment of silence, she turned to leave, using the last of her strength to stand up and limp down the stairs. She had been rejected once again.

She turned back to look at the door one last time, to see if she was truly forgotten and lost. Like everything else in her life, in her entire existence, she was rejected.

After a few seconds, she concluded that no one wanted her, not even in this world apparently, not even in death, not even in this in-between. She tried not to let that thought eat at her soul, but it was too late.

But- to her surprise the door had swung open quickly and out stepped a face. A face she could barely make out through her blurred vision but had seen before.

The face said her name she thinks and she stares dumbly as her mind starts to fade.

Before fading she finally put the voice to the face.

“_Finn_?” She thought but couldn’t speak, she’s completely mute. “_Oh no! He’s dead too_?” An irony instantly crashes down on her. One that is mixed with relief and sorrow. She mourns the thought of him being in this dreadful place but then realizes she wouldn’t be alone in this hell anymore. She would have someone to suffer with.

The longer he stared at her, the more wary she grew.

Why was he looking at her like that, what is going on? “_What is happening_?” She questioned herself as he gapped at her completely and utterly shocked.

“_Finn doesn’t look dead, but- I’m dead_?” Suddenly her consciousness snapped back into place and an awareness of her surroundings became sharp. She could feel and see everything, like waking up from a dream. Except she still felt like she was in a dream, like her conscious and subconscious were antagonizing each other, each trying to determine if this was real or not. If she was dead or not dead.

“_Am I- alive?_”

The horrifying look on Finn’s face made all the memories prior to her “death” come flashing to the forefront of her mind, before she went blank and died _again_. The last thing she heard was Finn screaming her name before she slipped and let go, fading back into darkness.

***

Dark, empty, nothing, is all she fathoms, there is no feeling. It’s similar to last time except this time- there is no pain.

Good, at least she can die this time in peace, devoid of pain or agony.

Her mind swims in the nothingness, the emptiness of utter darkness which is peaceful this time around. There are no sensations, no feelings, no thoughts, just a void. Completely different from waking up in the itchy grass. She would take this piece of heaven over the hell she endured prior.

This is a thousand lifetimes better. Everything is quiet, dark and empty.

That is until a sound starts reverberating, deep in her consciousness. A deep sound that can’t be made out, yet she hears it. For once a sensation snaps intact, like a string uncoiling itself and snapping into a straight line. The universe makes sense for once as she hears this sound tremble within her mind.

The deep voice reverberates and murmurs on, but she can’t make it out. It sounds like a mighty roaring sea that crashes against the shore yet is calm at the same time. “_That voice…I’ve heard that voice_,” she thinks in her own peaceful version of heaven, the nothingness currently soothing her in death.

She forces herself to strain her ears to listen, but it is a lost cause. There are no sensations or feelings except that sound, but she can’t comprehend the words coming from the sound. The words sound out in phrases or lines yet are not comprehendible. They sound like deep mumbles, pausing in and out of her consciousness.

For some reason she clings to it though, like it’s her life source. The strong and firmness of it making her want to grasp it, to reach for it. To reach for its’ warmth, to reach for its’ strength to reach for its’ beautiful richness. That voice is heaven and if she continues to hear it for all eternity, then so be it. She’ll stay in this void forever, so long as the voice never stops.

But that is not to be.

The sound does stops and the moment it does, only one word can form in her conscious, “_Ben_.”

It’s the last thing her brain can fathom before slipping into the void again, the complete lifeless void of nothingness.

***

Ben continues to clutch her hand as he whispers sweet pointless nothings in her ear. It’s only them two in the hospital room and he can’t contain himself. He has to tell her, even though her mind and heart aren’t here. Even though she hasn’t moved an inch or responded to his voice.

He tells her how sorry he is, how everything is his fault and he is to blame. He tells her he wishes he knew better and wishes he could’ve made things right. He tells her how beautiful she is and how lovely her smile and laugh are. How they shake him to the core. He tells her how much he misses her and wants her to wake up from this bed.

He places her damaged hand tenderly against his cheek and kisses each of her fingers through his tears as if they were his greatest treasure, as if she held his heart in them.

And lastly, while holding onto her gentle frame, he quotes for her.

Ben knows she can’t respond and most likely can’t hear him. But he quotes the poem he had written for her in her ear anyway, only for her. The very night she had been assaulted, he had secretly written in his notebook, thinking solely of her.

“**_I want to give you the sun, the moon, the stars but will you let me. Will fear guide us into oblivion or lead us unto paradise. Let your utterance make the decision, your lips tainted by heaven’s kiss reveal the unknown path that lays before us. My ear is an open field waiting to be treaded, to hear you and to know you Puella, to know your light. Oh light of mine, please tell me, tell me everything_**. **_I hunger and thirst for your voice, for your light._**”

** _Ben Solo_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, couple of translations: Musume= daughter in Japanese (according to google). Puella= sweetheart. Craniotomy= brain procedure for bleeding, traumatic head injury or multiple other reasons but in this case injury (sorry it's the professional in me). Secondly, this chapter jumps around purposefully due to Rey being in a coma. I'm trying to get rid of Plutt's arc as fast as I can but I also don't want to rush it. And lastly, I'm so sorry if I made you all cry, this story will have a happy ending, I can promise you that. But we are far from it in this point of the story. I consider this fic as more of journey for our two leads. A journey of course that will have a happy ending. Also I added and updated mood boards to every single chapter, even the early ones so please check them out after. Thanks for reading! I love and appreciate all the support and feedback from all of you. 
> 
> P.S. I made up the poem at the end. LOL see ya'll next chapter.


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